First of Two Challenges: The 'No Hook' hook challenge.
I know this sounds like a contradiction but the idea is based on the No Hook Topic topic in the Discussions forum. I didn't want to limit this portion to milieu only. If you come up with another approach, great, but see rule #2 below.
Rules:
1) 13 lines only. Make it a beginning of a story. This is a hook challenge, designed to make your readers want to read more!
2) No individual characters may appear in this opening, including the pov character. The narrative may be told through character-colored lenses, but he/she/it may not refer to themselves directly. (For ex: You can't have the character describe a horrific operating room scene and have the last line be, "…and I knew I was going to die here.")
3) You may submit up to three entries.
Time frames:
Contest Starts Saturday, March 9th at 11:59pm, PST. Contest Ends Sunday, March 17 at midnight, PST.
Voting will be open from 12noon PST, Monday March 18th to 6pm PST, Monday March 25th
The next contest will begin Saturday, March 30th and follow a similar pattern, but it will flip the idea on its head.
Scoring system:
5 pts for 1st place votes, 4 pts for 2nd, 3 pts for 3rd.
What's expected of you if you enter:
You are expected to vote for your top 3 favorite entries. If you don't vote, your entry will be disqualified.
Please e-mail me your votes. (Anonymous, remember!?) Put 'No Hook' in the subject line please.
For fun, give a mention of your favorite title. (Optional)
Crits are optional, but highly valued. (Also anonymous) We are a writer's forum, after all. Feel free to mention in your crit if you're intrigued, i.e. would you read on?
Comments on this thread...entries will be posted BY ME on the other in clumps to avoid suspicion.
Special thanks to axeminister whom I lifted many of these rules from and for his consultation.
[ March 06, 2013, 10:37 AM: Message edited by: genevive42 ]
Posted by tesknota (Member # 10041) on :
Oh, this sounds fun. I hope a lot of people participate! Everyone can use practice in beginnings. =)
Thanks Genevive!
Posted by MattLeo (Member # 9331) on :
I don't understand stipulation 2. Are you saying that the 13 lines must contain exposition only?
Posted by genevive42 (Member # 8714) on :
I'm saying the thirteen lines aren't supposed to be character-oriented. The question is whether you can create an interesting opening that makes readers want to continue on without tying the point of interest to a character.
Mostly, this would seem to lead to a milieu opening, but if someone came up with another, non-character approach, I wanted to leave room for that. I can see how it could be done with idea or event as well.
Posted by MattLeo (Member # 9331) on :
Hmm. I'm still having trouble grasping what it is you want to exclude. The "not tied to a character" stipulation would seem to exclude plot elements from being involved in the "hook".
Perhaps if you could explain the rationale for this stipulation I would understand better.
Posted by extrinsic (Member # 8019) on :
I don't see plot elements being excluded. A milieu emphasis where an idyllic setting has an ominous undertone could imply a problem wanting satisfaction. Say an impending avalanche above a resort chalet.
Plot itself could be the foreground emphasis of another approach. Say causation on point in a cascade effect, sort of cumulative like "The House That Jack Built" but sans characters.
Or tension on point, empathy or curiosity arousal, say an abrupt appearance of a sinkhole. Or antagonism on point, say a river carries uranium deposits to settle in a concentration sufficient to cause a runaway thermonuclear event, the problem half of the antagonism equation.
No character development is what I interpret genevive42 excludes, including I expect speech and thought discourse: introspection, conversation, and recollection writing modes. But doesn't exclude description, nonpersona action, narration, emotion, sensation, summarization, exposition, explanation, and transition writing modes.
I imagine a noncharacter development opening could express thoughts of a narrator in free direct or indirect thought. Since the stimuli perceptions of the narrator are in the foreground and responses to them would be the narrator's thoughts. But they'd have to be subtle and more implied than directly expressed or tagged as thoughts. Say the narrator describes the pretty-pretty tumble of uranium grain sparkles flowing along a swift streambed. That's stimuli and response and the beauty of the moment perhaps contrary to the ominous undertones of free uranium gathering, a gathering shape in Jerome Sterne's vernacular (author of Writing Shapely Fiction). However, introducing direct narrator identity markers I expect are excluded. No I, me, my, mine, he she, or it, etc., personal pronouns.
Exposition in a traditional writers' sense means introductions, which to me is what this "Hook" challenge is meant to foster. In a contemporary writers' sense, exposition means backstory. If a milieu's, for example, mythology develops through backstory, that might be a useful application of the latter sense for an opening. Regardless, the former meaning is the one I take this challenge to be about.
[ March 06, 2013, 06:55 PM: Message edited by: extrinsic ]
Posted by genevive42 (Member # 8714) on :
Well said extrinsic. I think it would also be acceptable to refer to groups as a whole within this challenge. I'm trying to see what everyone can come up with without an individual character being used as a method of drawing interest.
Posted by Owasm (Member # 8501) on :
As I considered approaches, I realized that without characters, these ended up being much like prologue openings. So technically, these are openings without a character, rather than 'no hook'. The ones that I thought up all had something that would (hopefully) get a reader to turn the page and using that broad definition of a hook, they had hooks.
Posted by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (Member # 59) on :
When I have taught writing classes, I have asked for two paragraphs of description of the same scene or object, one from the point of view of someone in a good mood, and the other from the point of view of someone in a bad mood. And I have made the same stipulation, that no characters be mentioned.
It has boggled my mind how few of my students have understood what I was asking for, and the majority of them have included characters in spite of my stipulation.
So while I can understand what genevive42 is saying, it doesn't surprise me that there might be confusion.
Thanks to extrinsic for attempting to help make it clearer.
Posted by babooher (Member # 8617) on :
Do we email you, genevive42, the submissions or do we only email you our votes and post the entries directly here?
Posted by genevive42 (Member # 8714) on :
Email the submissions to me and I will post them anonymously for everyone. Then also email me your votes when that starts.
I said that the contest starts Saturday night, but if you're ahead of the game, you can send your entries now if you like. End time is all that really matters.
Posted by Utahute72 (Member # 9057) on :
Is a dead body considered a character?
Posted by pdblake (Member # 9218) on :
OK I'm in. It's about time I did a challenge.
Posted by MattLeo (Member # 9331) on :
"No character development" is much clearer than "not tied to a character".
Posted by genevive42 (Member # 8714) on :
I think you can use a dead body, as long as you're not naming it and giving its personal history.
'A dead body lay rotting on the shore.' - ok
'Aunt Sally looked peaceful on her funeral pyre as friends and family wept and wailed.' - not so much
And sorry if it wasn't clearer MattLeo. This is my first time doing this. Thanks to extrinsic and kdw for helping to clarify.
Posted by TempestDash (Member # 9026) on :
So like the first chapter of Tale of Two Cities? Despite the references to "We" and "Our", the entirety of the opening is about England and France.
quote:It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way— in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.
There were a king with a large jaw and a queen with a plain face, on the throne of England; there were a king with a large jaw and a queen with a fair face, on the throne of France. In both countries it was clearer than crystal to the lords of the State preserves of loaves and fishes, that things in general were settled for ever.
It was the year of Our Lord one thousand seven hundred and seventy-five. Spiritual revelations were conceded to England at that favoured period, as at this. Mrs. Southcott had recently attained her five-and-twentieth blessed birthday, of whom a prophetic private in the Life Guards had heralded the sublime appearance by announcing that arrangements were made for the swallowing up of London and Westminster. Even the Cock-lane ghost had been laid only a round dozen of years, after rapping out its messages, as the spirits of this very year last past (supernaturally deficient in originality) rapped out theirs. Mere messages in the earthly order of events had lately come to the English Crown and People, from a congress of British subjects in America: which, strange to relate, have proved more important to the human race than any communications yet received through any of the chickens of the Cock-lane brood.
That seems a pretty good example, no?
Posted by extrinsic (Member # 8019) on :
A Tale of Two Cities' opening is a magnificent example of a voice, or discourse for D in SPICED emphasis, opening that does not develop an individual character.
Except for the references to kings and queens, Mrs. Southcott, the prophetic private, and the Cock-lane ghost of the second and third paragraphs. The preamble paragraph is character-development free.
SPICED, setting and milieu, plot, idea, character, event, and discourse. Absent C, any and all are possible opening emphases for this challenge.
Posted by genevive42 (Member # 8714) on :
Consider the opening of The Hobbit. Okay, so Tolkien mentions a Hobbit lives there, but then goes on to extensively describe the place and not the character. In this case though, that simple act also tells a lot about the character, though indirectly, it also tells a lot about the world.
Posted by MattLeo (Member # 9331) on :
I would disagree on the Hobbit, because the *narrator* is an important character in that book. He doesn't participate in the plot of course, but he has opinions about what happens in the story, expresses surprise or wonderment at turns of events, and he has distinctive personality which Tolkien introduces us to in that very first page.
The character of the narrator is a big part of why that book works.
Posted by genevive42 (Member # 8714) on :
When voting time comes, it will be up to each individual to decide how specific they're going to be about how closely the prompt is followed. However, I would suggest that if the spirit of the prompt seems to have been followed, I would suggest rating each piece on how much it makes you want to continue reading. Some will feel differently.
Posted by babooher (Member # 8617) on :
MattLeo, I'd say you're kind of stretching the idea of character. I see your point, but where do you stop that line of thinking? I mean, I've heard people refer to the setting as a character in a story (I think the discussion was about Dune). Pretty soon, everything's a character. If the narrator was actually involved, I'd agree, but I don't remember the narrator doing anything other than relating the tale.
Posted by genevive42 (Member # 8714) on :
I've gotten several entries already. Since it was mentioned, I'll answer it here. Feel free to send your entries in the body of the e-mail. No attachments please.
Posted by extrinsic (Member # 8019) on :
Dramatis personae in the vernacular, dramatic personas, may indeed include settings as babooher notes, or objects animate or inanimate. Moss on a rolling stone? Barnacles on a ship's hull? Algae alive on flyash rising upon an updraft air current? Dead coral turned into sand? The sole narrator-character exclusion genevive42 asks for I believe is a first-person narrator revealed in a thirteen-line opening. What happens later in a narrative doesn't count.
Posted by genevive42 (Member # 8714) on :
quote:The sole narrator-character exclusion genevive42 asks for I believe is a first-person narrator revealed in a thirteen-line opening.
Yes, but I'd consider tight third person part of the exclusion as well.
Posted by MattLeo (Member # 9331) on :
quote:Originally posted by babooher: MattLeo, I'd say you're kind of stretching the idea of character. I see your point, but where do you stop that line of thinking? I mean, I've heard people refer to the setting as a character in a story (I think the discussion was about Dune). Pretty soon, everything's a character. If the narrator was actually involved, I'd agree, but I don't remember the narrator doing anything other than relating the tale.
Actually I kind of do subscribe to the theory that setting is a character in the story, but of course that's just a metaphor.
Narrators are characters in a more concrete way; they are personas, albeit usually not very vivid ones. The Hobbit's narrator has a quite vivid personality. All narrators tell the story to the reader, but in the Hobbit you are supposed to *visualize* him doing this. The dead giveaway is that he refers to himself as "I". Check your copy, he starts doing it around the fourth paragraph or so and carries on for the rest of the book. If you took away the intrusive narrator, the Hobbit would be a very different book.
Apologies to Genevive for taking this thread off-topic. But as you can see, my way of looking at these things makes it hard for me to comply with your rule in good faith.
Posted by extrinsic (Member # 8019) on :
quote:Originally posted by genevive42:
quote:The sole narrator-character exclusion genevive42 asks for I believe is a first-person narrator revealed in a thirteen-line opening.
Yes, but I'd consider tight third person part of the exclusion as well.
I see. So a tight, third-person narrator may express an implied, subjective attitude about perceptions, like Ms. Dalton Woodbury's good mood and bad mood writing exercise, but not express direct thoughts in reaction to them?
Posted by Owasm (Member # 8501) on :
The non-character exclusion forces us to consider using an omniscient POV. I think a first person narrator who is not obviously part of the story/opening would also work, but, the way I interpret things, no character could be introduced.
Posted by genevive42 (Member # 8714) on :
quote:So a tight, third-person narrator may express an implied, subjective attitude about perceptions, like Ms. Dalton Woodbury's good mood and bad mood writing exercise, but not express direct thoughts in reaction to them?
Yes. That's what I was going for.
quote: I think a first person narrator who is not obviously part of the story/opening would also work, but, the way I interpret things, no character could be introduced
My instinct is to say that a first person narrator defeats the purpose of the exercise. But if you come up with something you want to try, you have three entries to play with.
(Edited because I changed my mind.)
Posted by MattLeo (Member # 9331) on :
The purpose of the exercise is something that continued to mystify me, so I went back to the original thread to figure out what it might be. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it appears that the idea is to address the question posed by tesknota in her lead post:
quote:What if the story does not focus on one main character, but rather on a collection of characters existing in one place? Would it be appropriate to introduce the setting first, to spend approximately the first 200 words on the milieu before introducing any characters? If so, in what way can the first 13 lines still leave an impact without having a direct hook?
If so, it seems to me that the question of first person narration is beside the point. The question is whether one can write thirteen lines about a *setting* that will incite readers to continue on for another dozen lines or so before the narration begins to focus on the problems of the characters.
It also seems to me that the only way to invalidate the exercise is to turn the reader's attention toward a character or predicament of someone in the story. It hardly matters if names are dropped in passing, but if you think that's too dangerous, so be it.
That the description of the setting reveals something about the narrator or the characters who inhabit it should be something we ought take for granted. In a good story all that stuff is going to come together.
Posted by genevive42 (Member # 8714) on :
The challenge is inspired by that discussion, yes, but I didn't use any one thing to establish the rules.
Take the exercise as you will. My idea is to work on creating interest without leaning on character. Exactly how you interpret that is up to you.
I promise that the second challenge in this diptych will be much more straightforward.
Posted by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (Member # 59) on :
Please notice that I did not cut the TALE OF TWO CITIES excerpt to 13 lines because it's in the public domain.
Posted by tesknota (Member # 10041) on :
Would it be better for the 13 lines to stand alone as a hook, or for the 13 lines to appear as if it were from a real story (as in cut off abruptly at the end)?
I'm inclined towards the former, but that feels a little like cheating. Unless it's okay.
--- Example ---
Line 13: But still he didn't turn.
-versus-
Line 13: But still he didn't turn. Maybe he couldn't hear her? She tried... (the sentence continues, but the 13th line cuts it off)
Are we going more for impact potential or for realism?
Posted by genevive42 (Member # 8714) on :
Well, if this example is exact, see if you can delete it before anyone else sees it because you've sacrificed anonymity.
But to answer your question. Do whatever you think creates greater drama and suspense.
Posted by extrinsic (Member # 8019) on :
Hatrack Thirteen-Line Challenges are akin to writing course instructor and writing workshop administrator, moderator, and facilitator writing exercise assignments. An underlying intent is to stretch writer's muscles and writing comfort zones. The Challenges are competitions that excite writers to respond more willingly, creatively, and expressively than the average freshman in a required basic composition course.
Perhaps the strongest underlying intent, though, is writing prompts that may lead to successful publication. A challenge might even strengthen a writer's skills.
Choosing to write for a challenge can be either solely for the challenge or as a start or continuation of a project. Beyond fulfilling the prompt, a near infintite potential presents.
Posted by tesknota (Member # 10041) on :
quote:Originally posted by genevive42: Well, if this example is exact, see if you can delete it before anyone else sees it because you've sacrificed anonymity.
But to answer your question. Do whatever you think creates greater drama and suspense.
Most definitely not. These examples include specific characters, which is definitely against the rules. =)
Posted by genevive42 (Member # 8714) on :
Good point. Sorry.
Posted by TempestDash (Member # 9026) on :
quote:Originally posted by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury: Please notice that I did not cut the TALE OF TWO CITIES excerpt to 13 lines because it's in the public domain.
That's why I used it as an example.
Though, I admittedly didn't need t include 2/3rd of the entire first chapter. I just wanted to illustrate how we really don't see characters for quite a while and it's a landmark piece of fiction.
Posted by genevive42 (Member # 8714) on :
My plan is to start posting entries sometime Sunday. Stay tuned.
Posted by genevive42 (Member # 8714) on :
Someone asked, so I'll answer here. Yes, I will be entering my own work in this challenge. With it being anonymous there is no conflict of interest.
Posted by genevive42 (Member # 8714) on :
I've sent confirmations to everyone who has sent me an entry so far. If you sent me something and didn't get an e-mail from me, please re-send.
Posted by genevive42 (Member # 8714) on :
Don't forget to title your entry.
Posted by genevive42 (Member # 8714) on :
First entries are up. Check yours and let me know if anything got lost in formatting or anything else I need to fix.
If you sent me an entry and don't see it, let me know. To the best of my knowledge, I've got them all posted.
Also, remember, you can enter up to three times. There's still a week if you want to come up with more.
Thanks for the great response everyone. There are some really good openings here.
Posted by genevive42 (Member # 8714) on :
More entries posted.
Posted by genevive42 (Member # 8714) on :
You are all awesome! Look at how many entries we have.
The challenge is now closed to new entries. Please make sure yours is posted properly, e-mail me if there are any problems.
Voting will be open from 12noon PST, Monday (today) March 18th to 6pm PST, Monday March 25th. Voting is required.
Send me your top three choices, in order. And tell me your favorite title.
Also, it is very helpful for everyone to get feedback on their entries. A brief critique of each piece is greatly appreciated. Don't forget to mention whether or not you'd keep reading. I will post these when voting is complete.
Don't forget that a second challenge will follow closely on the heels of the finish of voting. Keep your pencils sharpened.
Posted by genevive42 (Member # 8714) on :
Okay, only one person voted on Tuesday and no one voted on Wednesday. Y'all have me a little worried. I know that you know that voting is an essential part of the challenge. And if you don't vote, your entries will be dq'd and all that work will have been for nothing. So:
Please remember to vote.
This has been a public service announcement. Thank you for listening. Posted by MaddCow (Member # 10046) on :
Out of curiosity, what criteria are you wanting for the 'best title'. Is it just the best title name by itself, or the best in relation to the material?
Posted by Brendan (Member # 6044) on :
Usually in these challenges, the title is judged by whatever criterion the voter wants. Some are clever given the context of the first 13, others just take the voter's fancy.
Unlike Fragments ... where forensic analysis is quite common, challenges usually elicit shorter, "first impression" type critiques, with a strong weighting on the challenge topic and constrictions. Critiques are usually only 2 or 3 sentences per entry. That way it isn’t a huge burden of work for the voter. This is particularly likely, given the number of entrants this time.
Posted by snapper (Member # 7299) on :
I'm on it genevive. Almost got it done. I did have a distraction that I was hoping to keep a lid on for another week.
Posted by wirelesslibrarian (Member # 9513) on :
And now we know what that distraction was.
Posted by genevive42 (Member # 8714) on :
Waiting on one more voter.
Posted by genevive42 (Member # 8714) on :
Winners and comments are posted. Thank you to everyone who participated. Stay tuned for the next challenge - coming Thursday.
Nicely done, tesknota. Is this your first challenge? You certainly cleaned up this one - very nice opening. Does it actually continue into a story, or was it just made up for the challenge?
Also, congratulations Mr. Blake - two very different openings, both well done.
And thanks, Trina, for running this. I look forward to the next challenge. Do we get to guess who wrote what?
[ March 26, 2013, 09:24 AM: Message edited by: Brendan ]
Posted by genevive42 (Member # 8714) on :
Feel free to guess, though it's up to the individual whether or not they want to reveal themselves.
Also, if anyone wants to know how their non-placing opening did, emial me and I'll tell you your results.
Posted by pdblake (Member # 9218) on :
Well done tesknota and Brendan, and thanks for running this Trina. This has been the first bit of writing I've done for quite a while now.
If any one wants to guess I had one more in there.
Posted by Owasm (Member # 8501) on :
Congratulations to the winners.
Posted by tesknota (Member # 10041) on :
Wow, I totally didn't expect to win. =O
But congratulations to pdblake and Brendan and to everyone who participated! I liked a lot of them and reading all these entries really opened my eyes to different types of openings. And of course, thanks Trina for all of your hard work. =)
Brandon--- Thanks! Yes, this is my first challenge, but I'm a pretty new member. And nah, I just made it up for this challenge.
pdblake--- I'll put my money on Dead Hand Control, #6. Am I right or what?
Posted by genevive42 (Member # 8714) on :
And since I stupidly forgot to say it because it was really late and I was having trouble keeping my eyes open when I posted results...
CONGRATS!!! to the winners. Well done!
Posted by MaddCow (Member # 10046) on :
Congrats to the winners! I put a bit more of a challenge on myself for this one. Basically all 3 of my entries are all from the same book series I've been toying around with for a number of years now. It wasn't until I posted them that I realized one of them was totally in first person and didn't work out for the challenge itself.
I was trying to do 3 different hooks for the same book in different ways. One was first person narrative, and the other two were different forms of third person.
Thanks for the feedback, it helped me tone some possible ideas for those openings.
Posted by Grumpy old guy (Member # 9922) on :
Congratulations to the winners. I'm glad that at least one of my top three choices made it into the top three.
And, as I said to Trina, the quality of all the submissions was first-rate. I had a hard time coming up with a best 3, let alone placing them into 1st, 2nd & 3rd. In the end, it all boiled down to readability for me. One reason my own may not have fared so well.
However, I got the response I expected to it; I wrote it that way deliberately for effect and got exactly what I wanted back from those who commented on it. So, thanks to those who did comment.
Phil.
Posted by pdblake (Member # 9218) on :
Teskotna, my third was Humanity Lost, #15.
Posted by KellyTharp (Member # 9997) on :
Congratulations to all. I'm a slow learner, so didn't get the submission formatted . . . too long. Still had some nice feed back, so thanks to everyone for that. I was sad to have lost my hook at the end "Suddenly the lights went out, the faries disappeared, and all went silent." Was supposed to be titled: The Last Sweep. Had another, but somehow in trying to figure out the parameters of the line length I accidentally posted it, so now can't submit as it had my name on it. Going to go cry in my beer and give up on challanges. But I am slowly learning. Maybe third challenge is the charm . . .KT
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