Daniel 1:1, (partial)
In the third year of the reign of Jehoiakim, King of Judah.....

The ground was above him, the sky below him, as he tumbled face-forward across the hard-packed dirt. He came to an abrupt halt, hitting someone's legs. Sitting up with an extreme amount of effort, Daniel looked up. The face of one of the many Jewish boys gathered around to watch this stared down at him. The boy smiled devilishly down at him and kicked him hard in the ribs, causing even more pain to Daniel's already sore body. Where were Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah?

[This message has been edited by Collin (edited April 07, 2009).]
 

Watch for overuse of directional words: above, below, up, around, down. For example, you don’t need “down at him”. (As an aside, “tumbling” makes me think rolling over and over, but then the ground wouldn’t stay above him.)

Isn’t Daniel Jewish too? If so, I don’t think he would think of the other boys as “Jewish” in this scene (its too obvious to him to be noteworthy). I do like that it defines the setting/period, but can't think of a better way to mention it. Maybe something about their clothing, sheep bleating, ect. and then work in "Jewish" more naturally?

Could cut “The face of”, “many” and “this”.

Two phrases could be painted with more specific wording: “with an extreme amount of effort” and “causing even more pain to Daniel's already sore body”. Show us his struggle to sit up, tell us where it hurts, that sort of thing. I think the word “causing” seems to slow it down.

I like your word choices for hardness: ground; hard-packed; abrupt halt, hitting; kicked him hard. This is not fun for him!

I like the question at the end. My only concern is, people may stumble over those names, so throwing all three out at once may be difficult on your readers. But they are distinct from each other; that helps. I’d leave them in unless someone else mentions it.

Hope this helps!

[This message has been edited by MrsBrown (edited April 08, 2009).]