Hatrack River Writers Workshop: "Forgetting Isa"

This is topic "Forgetting Isa" - Critique Exchange in forum Fragments and Feedback for Short Works at Hatrack River Writers Workshop.

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Posted by Rhaythe (Member # 7857) on :

Anyone willing to exchange short stories for critique? I recently completed a suspense story I'm calling "Forgetting Isa" and am looking for a fellow writer to swap pieces with. Final piece is 3100 words long.

Any takers?

Requisite thirteen below:

quote:
Waves lapped up at her long legs. Isa watched the bubbles of white froth mingle with her tanned limbs. Just beneath the surface was a patch of moss, as slick as oil. Smooth to the touch. Somehow cooler than even the ocean water.
She looked up. The sun was still high. Hot. She wanted to jump in. But with the craggy rocks, that would be a bad idea. Shallow waters. Sharp rocks. Strong undertow. She could feel the tug of the water on her feet. Beckoning her in.
“Just come,” the water says. “Come and I’ll take you away.”
It was surprisingly tempting.

Keep in mind - this is one of the few pieces I write that won't start in media res. So I'm sure this opening won't appeal to everyone.

Posted by A Yeatts (Member # 9500) on :

Is this your mind control story? Either way... I'm intrigued by your opening. Would definitely keep reading. I'll happily swap. I'm trying to polish up a short story (~8000 words) and looking for all the feedback I can get.

Anna

Posted by Osiris (Member # 9196) on :

I'm always up for a critique exchange, I currently have a ~7500 word story ( http://www.hatrack.com/forums/writers/forum/Forum11/HTML/004297.html ) that I'm looking to have critiqued. Either of you can email me if you are interested in exchanging crits.

[This message has been edited by Osiris (edited July 12, 2011).]

Posted by Rhaythe (Member # 7857) on :

quote:
Is this your mind control story?

This is not. This is a break I took from that novel.

How about Anna takes mine, I'll take Osiris', and Osiris takes Anna's? Or am I being too complex?

Anyway, if that works, Osiris, shoot me your piece:
writer [at] rhoadsfiction [dot] com.

Please put Hatrack in the email subject so my filters don't canabalize it.

Posted by A Yeatts (Member # 9500) on :

It all works for me.

annayeatts@yahoo.com

Posted by Osiris (Member # 9196) on :

I'm happy to exchange crits with both of you, it might just take a longer than doing one piece.

You can email me at author [at] aaleil [dot] com

[This message has been edited by Osiris (edited July 12, 2011).]

Posted by Rhaythe (Member # 7857) on :

Anna - email sent.

I'm fine with a three-way exchange if you two are.

EDIT:
Osiris - email sent.

[This message has been edited by Rhaythe (edited July 12, 2011).]