Let me know anything you think I should know: does it hook you? What can make it better? Anything else?

Also, if you would like to take a look at it when it's finished, let me know. We can trade.

Thank You.

_____________________________________________________________

Fifty yards away, a man wearing a white suit walked out into the middle of the road.
“What the hell?” I asked, my glasses falling down my nose. I squinted, and leaned forward over the steering wheel. A glass bottle dangled from the guys hand.
I tapped the brake. Then the man lifted the bottle and threw it at me.
My eyes shot open. I swerved. “Oh my fu—” the bottle shattered the glass and passed by my face. The glass from the window cut through both cheeks, my forehead, and my bottom lip. Blood leaked from the cuts and trickled down my face. My mouth hung wide open. “Gaaaaa—” it stung so badly.
I slammed the brake, my head flew forward and hit the wheel.

[This message has been edited by XD3V0NX (edited September 22, 2010).]
 

The word glass was overused, glasses down the nose, glass bottle, shattered glass. Therefore you had to say "the glass from the window" in order to make it clear which glass. I suggest cut out all the ones earlier that this - the first two are unnecessary and the third one can be replaced by "window". Then you can simply state that the glass cut...

On the science involved, if the bottle didn't hit him, then the glass is unlikely to have much of an impact - it is safety glass in a car and shatters into small pieces that rarely have enough momentum to cut a small scratch, let alone cut through the skin. So this didn't sound right. Secondly, cuts rarely sting so quickly, especially in that situation. That is because your brain is concentrating on something else. After a couple of seconds, maybe, but not if you are in danger. Thirdly, your head can go forward when slamming on the brakes, but since you are in control, you also tense up enough to avoid hitting the wheel. People who hit the wheel do so because the car impacts something, taking the control out of their lap and therefore adding some reaction time prior to tensing. So, for me, these three things diffused a lot of the tension that had been created earlier (and well done for that original tension - it is the hook).

[This message has been edited by Brendan (edited September 22, 2010).]
 

Unless the man in the white suite is the Incredible Hulk with a pitching arm of a major league pitcher, he is not able to throw the bottle hard enough to punch through the windshield. So I have to figure that the man threw the bottle through the side window... except the man is in front of the car... I'm still trying to figure this one out.

Here are some nits:
I don't think you need to specify the bottle in the mans hand is glass, unless that fact becomes important later. Plastic/ceramic/metal bottles all hurt when hit with them, and can be thrown through a (side) window. (Plastic might be more of a challenge)
I see nothing to indicate why his glasses fell down his nose. My glasses stay where they are unless they are hit with something or I move my head violently (adverb, I know, I'm in a hurry). That whole paragraph just feels overdone with unneeded description. I don't want to rewrite your story for you, but I'm going to anyways.
What the hell? I squinted and leaned forward trying to get a better view. That's when I noticed the bottle he carried.

I left out the quote marks on purpose and moved the dialog to the characters thought, which worked better for me.

The rest can be rewritten to address the issues noted above.

I don't know if it is important to the story that the bottle breaks the window, but could it be just as effective if the bottle shattered the windshield, making it impossible to see through? The character would still have to slam on the brakes or risk running into something since he wouldn't be able to see.

It's an interesting start, I do wonder why some guy is walking out into the road and throwing things at cars. My first thought is he is drunk, but I don't know.

I would read farther, just based on the opening, but the writing needs to be stronger or I would put it aside.
 

Send the story to me Devon, I'd be happy to take a look.
 

My point was about cutting through, not cutting into. There would be no pieces large enough to have sufficient momentum to cut through a cheek, for instance.
 

Nothing was able to penetrate the safety glass by more than a few inches, thank God. So I don't think a bottle would have enough oomph to make it through a windshield. Depending on the speed of the car, I can imagine a thin pipe or iron bar would be able to continue further but it would have to be hurled with a lot more strength than an arm.

No, I'm not a bad driver, just in the wrong places at the wrong times, thank you.

Just my two cents.
PB

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[This message has been edited by PB&Jenny (edited September 23, 2010).]
 

Would you say that a brick could shatter the glass? How would the safety glass shatter, and would the pieces fly into the persons face fast enough to cut them? Oh, and I am pretty sure that if the small tiny pieces caught in someone's eyes, they would possibly go blind.

Thanks all.
 

If you are dealing with a super-human entity, then of course you can have anything you want happen. If the guy is strong enough, then the car could be at a standstill and he could still through something through it, doesn't matter if it's a bottle or a brick.

I'm not sure if you were just using the car traveling at 60mph as an example in your post above, but I don't think that is a good speed to use. The car would be traveling 5280 feet per minute which is 88 feet per second. If the guy steps out onto the road 50 yards away (150 ft), the driver has 1.7 seconds to do everything you described in the scene. The man would also have to be in the act of throwing as he stepped into the street, unless he also is superhumanly fast.

Windshield safety glass is adhered with a laminate. So typically, when the glass shatters, the pieces don't go flying around, they stick to the laminate, and the whole thing stays together. Some pieces can break off if the impact is strong enough, but there wouldn't be very much.

The problem I had with this opening is that the man is not human, and there for doing things that no human could do. However, I (the reader) have no way of knowing this character is not human and therefor his actions are totally believable. I'm guessing that the main character also doesn't know that this character is not human, so it is reasonable that the reader doesn't know this also. So it's a dilemma. Since this is only the first 13, you could be making it clear in the next few lines that this character is doing things that normal humans would not be able to do, and this is fine. Like I said before, I would have kept reading.

And yes, if glass gets in a persons eye, it can tear up the cornea and leave permanent scarring, while not rendering the person blind, can leave them visually impaired.

You can send it to me after you're done with your revisions if you want.
 

Edited to add: Of course, both cars are travelling 60 mph, so the result is a 120 mph impact, but if your superhuman could throw a bottle at 60 mph, the results would be the same if it hit anyone: probable death.

[This message has been edited by Corky (edited September 24, 2010).]
 

But even if the windshield didn't send dangerous pieces of glass at him, the shattered bottle might. Bottle glass isn't safety glass.

But whatever.