When I last collected data from "best of" anthologies, it was only science fiction, and I saw no 2nd-person stories. As far as I can tell, 2nd person is more accepted by literary journals than by genre publications. You crack open the dusty curtain of the motel room window and peer out at Green Woman standing on the curb. Lighting isn’t a priority in this part of Oklahoma and from where you stand she looks like any ordinary prostitute, indiscrete in her trench coat and flashable lingerie.
She will kill again tonight, that’s for sure. She will kill because you didn’t have the guts to pull the damn trigger. She’s a rogue and she kills people. You’re a rogue hunter and you kill rogues. The issue should be simple.
It isn’t.
She’s stronger than you; you always were a flimsy girl. She also has the gun and the door is locked from the outside. There is nothing you can do but watch.
It's a little awkward not having immediate cues to your name, age, or gender -- by definition, I fill in those blanks with my own data -- so I'd want to get those more quickly if I could, but it's not a deal-breaker. The "flimsy girl" comment helps there, of course, but if you could work other cues in earlier (without doing violence to the otherwise smooth flow of prose here) then that would be helpful.
As I've said before (and been ridiculed for), I don't mind a reasonable dose of 2nd person. If what you're writing seems best in 2nd, write it that way. I agree with Elan that a novel in 2nd person would be a pretty tough slog, but if you're only talking 2400 words I don't think it would be that tiring.
Thinking out loud here:
2nd person is a risk, because you, the author, often tell "you", the reader, what he thinks. Several 2nd person stories have collapsed for me on that basis -- the story started out reasonably enough, but as it got weirder I thought that the reactions of the MC were ridiculous. That might not have put me off (I like lots of stories in which the MCs behave in ridiculous ways) if the MC had been someone besides "me".
But maybe that's the rub: those stories started reasonably enough, and I could get into character without deviating too far from my own perspective. Then, when "you"'s actions got too ridiculous, I just couldn't maintain "my" character. Your story starts off differently, with a character that's clearly outside of my own perspective. I have to suspend disbelief immediately. So maybe I won't get to that "this is BS" turning point as in the other stories.
When you're looking for readers, count me in: I'll probably like the experiment.
I'm guessing that the bigger issue is publication. I've seen a few -- very few -- 2nd-person stories in Fantasy "best of" collections. I don't read enough other publications regularly, but they just put a new Borders by my office, so I'm going to start collecting data. When I last collected data from "best of" anthologies, it was only science fiction, and I saw no 2nd-person stories. As far as I can tell, 2nd person is more accepted by literary journals than by genre publications.
Possible conclusion: If it's a crossover -- fantasy that could be considered literary -- then maybe you try the literary journals instead of your typical fantasy markets.
Otherwise, write it as you see fit, submit it as usual, and if/when you've gotten enough rejection slips start to think about what the 2nd person present viewpoint gave you -- immediacy? intimacy? other? -- and see if you can get some of that from a more normal POV, like 1st person (present or past). Rewrite it, resubmit it, and see what you get. (I don't know how people think about resubmitting their work, but a change from 2nd person present to 1st person would be radical enough that I'd probably do it if enough time had passed between submissions.)
Sorry to blather, but I guarantee the thoughts are worth no less than you paid for them.
Regards,
Oliver
[This message has been edited by oliverhouse (edited December 26, 2006).]
I think I'd like the story otherwise. It has me very curious.
The thing is, just as I got into the story, an author's choice, probably a good one in terms of plot later on, pulled me out. It was entirely because I had to readjust to imagine myself as something different. The difficulty then, assuming you go forward in second person, is that you must define everything about your character very early on, so that a person who gets into that mode of feeling like they are actually there (which is amazing to feel, and this POV ought to make it easier to achieve) is NEVER pulled out by a surprising choice or statement by the protagonist. If you achieve that level of character depth to where the story is exciting, but every character action can be understood and is perfectly believable, it could make an amazing read.
In other words, it is a gutsy undertaking, and it will be the hardest thing you ever write, but the result could be beyond anything I have ever read.
quote:
those cheesy YA "choose your own adventure" stories
Maybe if I read further, I might get the option to choose...
Just a thought. Anyway, I like it so far.
My initial reaction to the line, "You always were a flimsy girl," was, "Like hell I was."
But, like I said, I think I can get over that and go along with the premise that I'm a flimsy (or at least and ex-flimsy) girl. It may just take me a few pages to get used to my new identity.
After all, I am a flimsy man.
If you have a longer piece of it that you would like reactions to, I'd be interested in reading it.
This is the one of the first times I read something in second person POV that wasn't just an example in a writing book to show what it (2nd person POV) is.
To me it didn't present any problems whatsoever, which was surprising given all the bad things I've heard about it. I guess maybe I'm more willing to cede control to the author when I'm reading than many people are. Probably why I'm so gullible sometimes.
From these earlier posts, I have a new understanding of the perils and pitfalls of 2nd person perspective. But, as a reader willing (eager?) to accept an author's worldview, and to subsume myself in someone else's imagination, I enjoyed the novelty of "becoming" this character. If I wanted to maintain rigid control of my own thoughts and feelings, I'd avoid books like a real phobia!
Give this a try; I'll cheer from the sidelines. :-)