Note: The story begins with the character explaining to the reader that he has changed careers from being a merchant (antiques dealer) to being an accredited professional appraiser. The two fields are distinct. Merchant is to EMT as Appraiser is to MD. Soon after he discovers an unusual object (a 1748 fraktur) he is killed in an apparent accident. An 18th century object that suggests contact with aliens, or at least an early vivid imagination, has the potential to profoundly alter present perceptions.... Was he accidentally killed or murdered? And why? The rest of the story provides the answer.

...

Two decades after I established my antiques business I decided to reinvent myself. The decision wasn’t difficult. I’d lived hand-to-mouth most of my career. I took the required courses for accreditation as an antiques appraiser. About the same time the appraisal society awarded me certification, I won the Lottery. Even though that windfall changed my life, I remained an antiques appraiser because I loved the work. Two years later I found a bazarre antique object. It indicated that either the maker had the imagination of H. G. Wells before the American Revolution or that extraterrestrials were witnessed in mid 1700s Pennsylvania. Before I had a chance to begin researching, I was killed.

[This message has been edited by grove (edited November 27, 2006).]

[This message has been edited by grove (edited November 27, 2006).]
 

As a writer of ghost and supernatural stories this is a common beginning- but a reliable hook. (19th century ghost tales especially loved this beginning or end for that matter) If though your explanantion as to how he is able to tell his story beyond his death doesn't meet expectations then I would feel cheated.

JB Skaggs
 

Length? What do you want -- readers for the whole thing, first 13, something else?
 

I'm a little confused about the chronology of events. You start out saying "two decades after I established my antiques business" then mention receiving certification, then two years later finding the bizarre object. It seems that immediately after finding the object, the MC is killed.

So, the question in MY mind is why would someone be in business for 20 years without seeking accreditation?? I am having a hard time resolving the logic of waiting 20 years to get certification in any business that provides a person with income and a career. It doesn't make sense. Obviously, that issue is also pulling me out of the story at the moment you need to hook me in.

If the time sequence made more sense, I'd say you have a good hook going here, otherwise.

[This message has been edited by Elan (edited November 26, 2006).]
 

Do not go back and change your 13 lines everytime someone makes a comment. Actually don't ever change the original ones. It is impossible to read the thread now and have it make any sense.

Post additionally but do not edit.