I would like a few readers for the synopsis of my novel, which should go out this week to an agent I pitched to last year. ! I'm especially interested in clarity and if there's a part you think I could cut, but I'll take any help.
Also posted at LH.
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A particle accelerator experiment at Clarkston State University in Appalachia has an unexpected effect: it sends everything within 62 miles of the reaction chamber back into the 1500's, stranding the city of Clarkston and parts of surrounding counties in the past.
DeRon Wilson, an abused teenager, finds this to be his first-ever chance to get away from his mother.
...
[This message has been edited by wbriggs (edited September 03, 2006).]
[This message has been edited by wbriggs (edited September 06, 2006).]
Posted by Blackthorne (Member # 2688) on :
It sounds very interesting. I'll give your synopsis a read. Email is Black5nh@hotmail.com
Anyway, I was curious whether you would consider tacking "DeRon Wilson, an abused teenager, finds [omitted words] his first-ever chance to get away from his mother" to the very beginning. This might add some additional humor/enticement to the opener.
[This message has been edited by Blackthorne (edited September 03, 2006).]
Posted by Survivor (Member # 213) on :
Ugh. The snippet you posted looks like a disaster already, but probably only because it's taken out of context. Should we just go over to LH to get the whole thing?
Posted by wbriggs (Member # 2267) on :
It's available at LH or by email.
[This message has been edited by wbriggs (edited September 04, 2006).]
Posted by wbriggs (Member # 2267) on :
I would like to have a couple more readers. I've gotten Survivor's comment and a couple of other commentaries, but not enough yet to see what to do.
Posted by Green_Writer (Member # 3302) on :
I'll read it if you would allow. I have a good bit of time on my hands today and tomorrow. awpivec@gmail.com
PS: I'm no help with grammar but I may provide valuable reader's insight.
[This message has been edited by Green_Writer (edited September 06, 2006).]
Posted by wbriggs (Member # 2267) on :
Sent!
OK, Survivor, I have to know: what is it that makes this look disastrous, so far?
[This message has been edited by wbriggs (edited September 06, 2006).]
Posted by oliverhouse (Member # 3432) on :
Hey wbriggs, I sent an email volunteering to read, but got no response. Not sure if it's a spam filter issue or not, or if you have enough readers, but if you want, I'm at oliverhouse at gmail.com.
Posted by mommiller (Member # 3285) on :
! I'm especially interested in clarity and if there's a part you think I could cut, but I'll take any help.