This is my first attempt..I think the last time I read this was when I was eighteen - that was last week
5500 words, three chapters..
The setting sun shadowed the figures standing on top of Jranka hill. The smoke from the battlefield below rose to the heavens and those that were still alive limped away.
A small humanoid (hobbit variant?)broke the silence, "Will it happen again Balan? Will he come again spewing his flame across the lands, killin' kin" he sobbed, tears streamed down his rosey cheeks,"Will he be bringin those vile creatures to blast our land with their filth? Will he Balan?"
A mailed hand gently grasped his small shoulders, "One never knows what the fates will bring, Mihkel, all we can hope for is a better tommorow."
"Bah, what kind of drivel is that Balan? are you looking for some Bard to sing your praises - Mihkle, Evil never dies it
I wrote this when I was thirteen..wow,
[This message has been edited by TMan1969 (edited July 24, 2006).]
[This message has been edited by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (edited July 28, 2006).]
Posted by Aust Alien (Member # 3493) on :
Cool!
( I'm assuming you don't want an actual crit!)
Posted by TMan1969 (Member # 3552) on :
Nah, its my first attempt. It has all the elements, a band of heroes to fight against evil and a evil artifact....I thought it was cool, and I wanted to share it.
Posted by wrenbird (Member # 3245) on :
You're off to a good start. Keep writing.
Posted by Rilnian (Member # 3506) on :
Good work, I myself am also freshly 18. Little less freshly than you, but still. We younguns gotta stick together! Very good writing, already got into the characters. I'll be looking for your writing.
Posted by TMan1969 (Member # 3552) on :
Sorry, I wish I was 18 - I do, I really do. I am 36...so this is a very old story...like me
Posted by Rilnian (Member # 3506) on :
HA! No problem. It's just fun for me to know others around my age are on. Not that it affects how I see their work, it's just fun. Regardless of age, you ancient dragon you, still loved you writing, keep it up.
