Hatrack River Writers Workshop: Age of Bable (2nd round)

This is topic Age of Bable (2nd round) in forum Fragments and Feedback for Short Works at Hatrack River Writers Workshop.

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Posted by Aalanya (Member # 3263) on :

Would somebody be willing to review the first 1000 or so words? Here's the first 13 lines.

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From the Book of Origins, Chapter 3, Section 2

Then mankind became greedy in its desire for knowledge.

They said to themselves, “Look around at all the works of our hands. We have brought mountains low to bow before us. We have conquered the depths of the sea and the expanse of the earth. We have flown amongst the stars and brought the heavens within our reach. Let us now become masters even of the smallest particles that we may be as God with the power to create and destroy.”

Then they set about to learn the secrets of creation.

And God said, “Shall I allow them full understanding of my designs and the ability to create and destroy as they will?”

Thus he cursed them with a great confusion, and across the whole earth man was divided; for God made him to distrust his

[This message has been edited by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (edited February 23, 2006).]

Posted by x__sockeh__x (Member # 3069) on :

Hm...I liked it. Don't usually see religious stuff around here, but that's cool.

Maybe it's just me, but I'm unsure of whose POV this is coming from. Mankind's as a whole, or God's. I think it's from mankind's POV, but I'm not sure.

[This message has been edited by x__sockeh__x (edited February 22, 2006).]

Posted by Aalanya (Member # 3263) on :

It's from a religious text written many years later. Most of the story is not quite so religious... at least not in the way that this is.