Hatrack River Writers Workshop: feedback

This is topic feedback in forum Fragments and Feedback for Short Works at Hatrack River Writers Workshop.

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Posted by fully95 (Member # 3122) on :

is any one interested in reading my first few chapters. It's a fantasy type deal. Just lemme know and ill email it to you. I just want to know what people think of the premise of the story and its potential. its in the rough stages. no need for grammatical feedback. i just want to know what peeps think about the story.

Posted by The Fae-Ray (Member # 3084) on :

You'll have to post the first thirteen if you want to get people to read it.

Posted by wbriggs (Member # 2267) on :

...and use the Hatrack Groups for critiquing novels. (You can ask here, but you might get few takers.)

Posted by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (Member # 59) on :

If you don't want to post the actual text, you can give a short description here instead. At least tell us more than you have.

Since you're not asking people to critique an entire novel, it's okay to ask for feedback on the beginning, but you need to say how many words those three chapters involve. Maybe people will only want to give the first chapter a try.

Posted by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (Member # 59) on :

Also, one reason we ask for the first 13 lines is so people can tell how you deal with words and decide if they want to tackle more of your wordsmithing.

Posted by Elan (Member # 2442) on :

I have to say, based on your request, I'm not encouraged.

quote:
is any one interested in reading my first few chapters. It's a fantasy type deal. Just lemme know and ill email it to you. I just want to know what people think of the premise of the story and its potential. its in the rough stages. no need for grammatical feedback. i just want to know what peeps think about the story.

Here's MY critique:

1) You start this request out with a lower case "I". This error is repeated throughout your paragraph. You need to capitalize the first word of each sentence.

2) The word "lemme" isn't a word, not unless you are using it as slang in dialog.

3) Unless you aren't feeling well, "ill" should have a capital letter and an apostrophe, so it reads: "I'll."

4) If you are asking for a critique, grammatical feedback comes with the turf. A credible critique will make note of technical errors in your writing, including spelling, punctuation, and grammar. A good writer will not waste our time with a poorly constructed draft.

5) The "peeps" think that maybe you should hold off offering your writing for critique until you clean up the mechanical errors.

You have to realize that critiques take an enormous amount of time. I literally spent the entire day yesterday on a single critique. And this story was extremely well written, without much in the way of mechanical errors. (A good read, too, Silver3.)

The "peeps" have no interest in devoting time to your writing if you have devoted no time in making it the best draft you can. Lack of knowledge is one thing. We can help you with that. Laziness is another. Don't offer it for critique until you've cleaned it up.

Based on the lazy writing style in your paragraph above, this "peep" would decline your kind invitation to look your rough draft over. I would have to say that until the mechanics are in better shape, it has no potential.

Now, before taking offense or being hurt, keep in mind mechanics are relatively easy to correct. Utilize your sixth-grade English and simply take the time to clean it up. THEN ask us to critique for potential. I'll bet you would have a great deal of potential at that point.

On a side note: we seem to be getting an influx of kids in the forum again. Using the word "peeps" is a give-away. If you are not 18, it's OK to read, but please don't ask us for critique.

Thanks.

[This message has been edited by Elan (edited January 09, 2006).]