Hatrack River Writers Workshop: A point of contention

This is topic A point of contention - can someone settle it please in forum Fragments and Feedback for Short Works at Hatrack River Writers Workshop.

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Posted by Jonny Woopants (Member # 3004) on :

Hello,

Just wondering if someone could help me here. Is there is anything wrong with this follow sentence?

A sheen of sweat glistened on his shaven scalp in the lowlight of the bridge, which was devoid of the usual clutter of read-outs and manual controls you might associate with a vessel of the Fortitude’s size.

Is it okay to expect the reader to logically assume that the bridge was devoid of clutter as opposed to his shaven scalp?

Thanks in advance for your expertise

Posted by TL 601 (Member # 2730) on :

Yeah, it's pretty clear you're talking about the bridge.

Posted by Spaceman (Member # 9240) on :

I'd probably break it up for clarity.