A couple of weeks ago, someone posted a thread about mystery stories with a fantasy theme. That reminded me of one I'd written last year, so I dusted it off and revised it. It's a 4500-word contemporary fantasy/mystery story with the working title "Here, Kitty Kitty." I'd love it if anyone has time to critique the entire story (I'm in no hurry), but comments on the first 13 are always welcome.
Thanks!
I was cooking dinner in my apartment when I heard a knock on the door. It was my landlord’s twelve-year-old daughter. “Hi, Amadi,” I said. “What can I do for you?”
“I’d like to hire you to get my kitty back, Roland.”
I didn’t even know she had a cat. Normally I’d do anything for Amadi, but since cats run away from me I wouldn’t be of much use. It’s probably because I smell like a wolf even when I’m in my human form. “Well, that’s not really in my line, but I’ll help you post signs around the neighborhood….” I trailed off because she was shaking her head.
“I meant ‘kitty’ as in the pot in a poker game, although it so happens that the kitty in this game was a cat.”
Posted by Dude (Member # 1957) on :
OK, you got me. Send it my way, but I won't promise a quick turn around. wolf_dude64@yahoo.com
Posted by Smaug (Member # 2807) on :
Intriguing. I like the idea of a werewolf (or whatever!) detective. I like the fact that you thought out that cats would be afraid of him. I'm interested enough to keep reading, but to be honest, I can't give you a complete critique with all I have on my table. However, if you'd like to send it to me, I could do it a little at a time over a few weeks.
Shane
Posted by LMermaid (Member # 2778) on :
Thanks for the offers! Like I said, I'm in no hurry, so whenever you have time is fine.
Posted by pantros (Member # 3237) on :
I'll read it for you, too.
Posted by Survivor (Member # 213) on :
That last line needs to be...it's funny and all, but it's also confusing and threw me out of the story in about five other ways.
Anyway, I might have time to try this, if you act now!