Another story from a bootcamp index card. Comments and readers. Readers can tell me what genre they think this story fits under.
Cats
The family from Hell was back. The mother and daughter were okay, but the boy was a terror. He could be kept under control if the father was with them, but all John saw coming through the door were the mother, the daughter, and the boy. Trouble, for sure.
John walked up to greet the family. "Welcome to PetLand," he said. "Is there anything I can help you find?" Pleae be here to buy fish food or something else quick.
Edited for typos, but not very well. I inserted another one after I fixed the first one. By the way, if this seems short, I did follow the rules. first 13 lines from my PDA.
[This message has been edited by Spaceman (edited July 15, 2005).]
[This message has been edited by Spaceman (edited July 15, 2005).]
Posted by Shawshank (Member # 2729) on :
In terms of genre- I could envision anything right now, since nothing but real things so far- so it can go in any direction.
Posted by Survivor (Member # 213) on :
From your PDA, eh?
It looks like a pretty good opening, for only about five lines. Setting, character, conflict all being introduced right away. I'm hoping that this is humor, but it could easily be horror. I doubt that it'll be SF/Fantasy, since you asked for guesses but didn't even hint at any speculative/fantastic elements yet. It would really surprise me if it managed to be romance, and once again you'd be cheating on your genre guessing game if it is. Western I'll go ahead and discount, along with political intrigue/spy thriller/whatever it's called. Same for mystery/detective fiction and so forth.
So the short answer is humor or perhaps horror.
Posted by Spaceman (Member # 9240) on :
Actually, I wasn't asking for guesses based on the short excerpt. Only from those reading the whole manuscript. It would be rather difficult to explain the concept without giving away the whole story since it's only 1000 words anyway.
Posted by Kickle (Member # 1934) on :
I'm curious, send it to me if you'd like to.
Posted by Spaceman (Member # 9240) on :
It's on it's way, and thank-you for volunteering.
Posted by MCameron (Member # 2391) on :
I'm interested in seeing where this goes. I'll take a look at it, although I don't know that I'll be much help in the genre issue.
--Mel
Posted by Spaceman (Member # 9240) on :
I want to make some revisions based on the previous person who read it. I'll send you rev 2 when its ready. Thanks.
Posted by MCameron (Member # 2391) on :
Whenever you're ready.
--Mel
Posted by Kami (Member # 2692) on :
Hey Spaceman...I'd like to read your cat story...sounds pretty intriguing.
Posted by NewsBys (Member # 1950) on :
I'd like to read it also.
Posted by Spaceman (Member # 9240) on :
The last three posters should have it in their email box (and hopefully not in the spam box).
Posted by Survivor (Member # 213) on :
I'll try it when you feel ready, though I'm still puzzled by the request for genre identification.
Posted by onepktjoe (Member # 2352) on :
If you still need another reader, send it on over.
Posted by Dude (Member # 1957) on :
Hey Spaceman. Just got back from vacation. I like the beginning of this - if you need another reader send it my way. New e-mail -- wolf_dude64@yahoo.com
Posted by wbriggs (Member # 2267) on :
I'm going on vacation tomorrow, or I'd read. I'm hooked, partly because of the title: I want to make sure that if that nasty little boy goes after a cat, he has to have stitches!
Posted by benskia (Member # 2422) on :
Hi. I'll read it. Not so sure I'm much good at genre placement though.
One comment I have about this is that you start by saying that the family from hell was back. However, from what I can make out, it's only the kid whose any trouble, not the whole family. I understand the conundrum in explaining this to the reader though, because maybe the POV character see's them all as a complete unit rather than individuals.
Cheers.
Posted by Survivor (Member # 213) on :
I think that he did okay making it clear that it wasn't the boy himself that was the problem, but the dynamic of him being there with his mom and sister and [/i]without[/i] the father. Presumably, he also would have been easily dealt with had he come alone.
Posted by Spaceman (Member # 9240) on :
I've been in LA for a few days. I'll try to get teh current revision of Cats out tomorrow to everyone who asked since the last shipment of Cats. Thanks.
Posted by Spaceman (Member # 9240) on :
Should be on its way. Briggs, if you want to read after you return, let me know.
By the way, if this seems short, I did follow the rules. first 13 lines from my PDA.