[This message has been edited by Gecko (edited October 11, 2005).]
Posted by wbriggs (Member # 2267) on :
I'm hooked. I'm a little incredulous that the poor woman is still talking about insurance, but maybe that's about to be explained.
I'd read, but I'm out of town and it'll be tough to be on Internet. If you still want a reader come Sunday, I'll read.
Posted by Spaceman (Member # 9240) on :
This reads too much like a screenplay for me to be hooked as a short story. I'd like to see the action take place on stage, not when the camera isn't rolling.
Posted by Troy (Member # 2640) on :
Fade in? Smash cut? This guy had better be a failed screenwriter.
Posted by Troy (Member # 2640) on :
If he is, this might be a clever use of language. Either way it's an interesting beginning.
Posted by Moonshine (Member # 2704) on :
I'd read it...and I think the insurance information part is a good touch.