This is topic Bless Me, Father in forum Fragments and Feedback for Short Works at Hatrack River Writers Workshop.


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Posted by wbriggs (Member # 2267) on :
 
950 words, humor, I would like full critiques (but I'll take other comments too).

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Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.

Oh, I don't have to say that any more? OK. Well, here's what happened. Friday night I met this really hot girl at a party over on Jefferson Street. No, wrong sin. I wish! Just kidding, Father.

Anyway, she was so freaking amazing. I mean, she was so slim, and her body was perfect. I just had to meet her. Do you ever see the kind of girl that just makes you think, this one's it? This is the one I've got to have?

I guess not. She was talking to this really big guy -- looked like a football player on steroids -- and I thought I'd just see when she stepped away from him, and move in. I work better without competition.

 


Posted by wbriggs (Member # 2267) on :
 
Oh, yes, and if anybody has ideas where to publish non-SF humor . . . I never know where to market these.
 
Posted by pixydust (Member # 2311) on :
 
Look's fun. I'll read it. I may not be able to get back to you for a week or two, though, cause I'm headin' out on vacation. Yah!

I have a few of these off-kilter ones myself, and no clue as to what to do with them.

[This message has been edited by pixydust (edited June 24, 2005).]
 


Posted by Survivor (Member # 213) on :
 
quote:
I wish! Just kidding, Father.

I'll try it.
 


Posted by kkmmaacc (Member # 2643) on :
 
Sounds good -- I'll look at it if you would like. Any specific turnaround time needed?

-K.
 


Posted by wbriggs (Member # 2267) on :
 
bump

A couple more?
 


Posted by Elan (Member # 2442) on :
 
I'd like to take a look at it if you can give me a few days. I'm overloaded right now with critiques, but yours looks fun.
 
Posted by cklabyrinth (Member # 2454) on :
 
I'll read, Will. I think I owe you about 5.
 
Posted by Killerkop (Member # 2671) on :
 
ill read it, should be able to get you a quick turn around too, (gotta love that, right)
but it will be my first offical critique, so, who knows

 
Posted by Suñadoru (Member # 2672) on :
 
I'd be glad to have a look.

Adam
 


Posted by wbriggs (Member # 2267) on :
 
That ought to be enough. Thanks, friends!

 
Posted by Spaceman (Member # 9240) on :
 
Send it my way too.
 


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