Oops, wrong forum. Go to the writing one, and read this.
[This message has been edited by Netstorm2k (edited January 03, 2005).]
Posted by MaryRobinette (Member # 1680) on :
Wow. The terse single line of text is really compelling. Having your protaganist start out with admitting a mistake is really bold. The "Oops," grabbed me right away and then you followed up by keeping it an incomplete sentence. As flash fiction, I had a complete sense of the mistake your protagonist had made even without the need for you to spell it out. Nicely done. Perhaps the story would benefit from a little more characterization though. Although I like the almost Haiku aspect of the brevity, I wanted to know more about the character before they made the mistake. In short, the in media res, while compelling didn't give me quite enough to sink my teeth in to. That's the only thing that kept it from being worth $130,000, in my mind. Others may have different opinions.
[This message has been edited by MaryRobinette (edited January 03, 2005).]
Posted by Netstorm2k (Member # 2279) on :
ROTFL Thanks Mary, for the laughter. Just set me right in the mood for the scene I'm working on. Appreciate it greatly.
Posted by HuntGod (Member # 2259) on :
"No Luke I am your father!"
That scene warranted the $130k, or at least it did when I was 10.
Posted by Netstorm2k (Member # 2279) on :
I'm still laughing about that, Mary.
Posted by MaryRobinette (Member # 1680) on :
I'm glad. I almost edited it to make sure you knew I was joking.