It is a piece of short fiction, ~5300 words, of a, dare I say, contemporary mainstream nature.
A recent divorcee, male, lives alone in Alaska during the winter (aka, dark) when the power goes out. He hears a gunshot that makes him concerned for his neighbor. I'd like to say it's the simple story of a man reevaluating his life, but I'm not sure if anyone would agree.
Here are the first thirteen, or so, lines:
Nick was standing in the kitchen, chopping carrots for soup, when the lights went out. Each appliance surrounding him quieted and came to a stop, like a mechanical beast slowly dying around him.
He stood still for a moment, smelling the sharp aroma of the onions already on the stove, waiting to see if the lights would return. After a moment, he decided they weren’t going to. It was an eerie feeling, almost too quiet. Even late at night, when he was going to sleep, there were always noises: the furnace clicking on, the hum of a computer, the ticking of a clock. Now all was silent.
Nick set the knife down on the cutting board and felt his way toward the junk drawer he knew to be near the wall. He lifted his hands and knocked over a glass sitting on the edge of the counter. A split second later, he heard it shatter loudly on the floor beneath him, sending shards flying across the hardwood and onto his feet.
“Damn it,” he muttered.
If any of you'd like to read it, feel free to let me know. I'd appreciate it. Oh, and I know the beginning lines need some help, but it was all I was able to manage after having stared at it until I went cross-eyed!
The smelling onions line is powerful - actually recoiled subconsciously from the pungent odour.
Also, nice details - reference to noisome machines about the house, and the knocking over the glass.
Probably a good start
Two things with the excerpt:
"slowly dying"--When power goes off, don't things die out quickly? Maybe more like a mechanical beast blinking out around him?
"After a moment, he decided they weren’t going to."--I think this is unnecessary. Doesn't add anything.
hildy9595@aol.com.
Hildy, you got it.