Reyvon Written By Skylar M.

Once upon a starlight dreamy night, beneath a starlight dreamy sky, there stood a raven, ebon as the clouds are white. Wisest of the birds and obviously the most deceptive, the raven stood, perched upon a pine, within the needles, sharp as thorns. They prickled at his bubbly-looking, scaly feet sturdily clutching at the stem, tighter than steal. The dreary moon, like a silver jewel of murcury, gleamed and shimmered, reflecing off the raven's large black eyes. Like charred coal, his feathers writhed over his skin, arm-in-arm with the hissing, wretched wind. How long he had perched there and how much he saw has not yet been told, but there, the raven had sat, his eyes burning into what happened aroud him like a video recorder, remembering everything he saw. Here is where he sat, and here is where we will hear his tale...

Oh and I am aware of the grammatical errors and all of those things. All I need from the critiquers is for them to tell me how it is regarding running along the lines of a capturing intro that will draw you into reading the entire story. It isn't very good, I know. But the rest is better, and if you would like it, email me: FantomSky@aol.com

"Insanity is your only escape"

Vycye
 

I can see you're playing with a muse, and that's always good. But as a writer you still need to consider "crafting" what the muse speaks.

There's a nice expressive promise here.