I’m not sure that all the potential Hatrackers visiting here understand all the benefits of belonging. Among others is that paragon of tools, the little known, but infamous Hatrack Utility Belt. Here are just some of the features of the HUB:
Proximity Alarm - for POV shifts
Hatrack Pen/Glowing Blade of Words – slices through logical conundrums with appalling ease!
Furry Dice - used to stun the reader with a superfluosity of adjectives. Sometimes called "Fuzzy Dice" by Hatrackers who have not studied the Manual.
Universal Travel Guide – Instant information for any place a Hatracker might find herself, hisself, or itself.
Spell-checker – works in the backgrond but cannot read your mind.
The Deus Ex Machina attachment – For last resort only! A glass tube about four inches long and an inch in diameter; marked "EMERGENCY USE ONLY. Does anything you want.
Geiger counter – only field tested on felines, so far.
Infinitive Splitter – Has a large blast radius. An awesome tool!
BS Detector – Everone needs one.
'Handwavium' pellets - Really useful for getting through sticky science scenes.
A bosun’s whistle to summon the The Penmanship, the Hatrack sloop.
Invisibility booster – most of us don’t need it.
The Ultimate Weapon - The ultimate weapon for a Hatracker caught in a dilemma in any thread. - A small black lock.
There may be more features, but I haven’t found them yet.
[This message has been edited by mikemunsil (edited August 24, 2004).]
Posted by Robyn_Hood (Member # 2083) on :
I was going to start this thread! Oh well, great minds think alike and fools seldom differ. Posted by Robyn_Hood (Member # 2083) on :
Don't forget:
Rising Action switch - can help elevate you in a situation but be sure you can get to a safe place before you reach the top of the story arc or you'll crash to the ground
Levity Belt attachment - this should only be used in a comical situation otherwise you'll go over like a lead baloon in a serious situation
Posted by mikemunsil (Member # 2109) on :
Instant Quotations - for nailing down a point.
Posted by mikemunsil (Member # 2109) on :
Oops! Forgot one!
The k d-w. - Pull it out and it throws a stern admonition that instantly sets you back on course. Make sure not to throw a KDW instead, or you will be catapulted willynilly into the future!!
[This message has been edited by mikemunsil to avoid a potentially disastrous (edited August 24, 2004).]
[This message has been edited by mikemunsil (edited August 24, 2004).]
Posted by MaryRobinette (Member # 1680) on :
Now I just have to figure out what to use to get away from Tom Swifty.
Posted by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (Member # 59) on :
Actually, K D W is my twin, K. D. Wentworth who is the co-ordinating judge for the Writers of the Future contest.
I'm known as k d w (lower case). The way you tell us apart is that I have brown eyes and she has blue eyes (and I'm a little taller).
Posted by shadowynd (Member # 2077) on :
Mike: Fuzzy Dice are the furry dice "award" given to Hatrackers who clutter up otherwise clean threads with superfluous, but often hilarious, chatter.
Susan
Posted by Robyn_Hood (Member # 2083) on :
Hatrack Ray-Gun with attachments
Hyphenator: used to break-things-up Procrastinator: used to slow things down Punctuator: used to punch-up things that appear flat or life-less! (Works well when used with hyphenator) Excelerator: used to create graphs which act as webs or nets, trapping people and things until the graph is deciphered
Can't think of any more right now.
------
Also, each set of Furry Dice should come with a warning label. If you received yours without one it should read as follows:
quote:Use with caution. Furry Dice may result in the creation of a Tom Swifty demon. This small boy grows quickly and can easily take-over your taglines, cluttering them with adjectives and said-bookisms. Tom Swifty is often dressed entirely in black and he carries a small pouch of dust to litter your lines.
Posted by mikemunsil (Member # 2109) on :
quote:Mike: Fuzzy Dice are the furry dice "award" given to Hatrackers who clutter up otherwise clean threads with superfluous, but often hilarious, chatter.
Oh, THAT's what those are for. I was using them to clean my whatsit.
OK, now wait a minute. I object. Are you sure that I deserve a pair of fuzzy dice? In this thread we have talked about:
- POV alarm - point of view shifts, and detecting them - Hatrack Pen/Glowing Blade of Words - cutting through logical gaps - Furry Dice - avoiding stringing together too many adjectives and adverbs - Universal Travel Guide – the importance of knowing where you stand in your writing - Spell-checker - recognizing the limitations of spell-checkers - Deus Ex Machina - keeping unrealistic solutions out of your writing, or using them only in extremis - Geiger counter - encouraging that creative glow (ok, so this one is a bit of a stretch) - Infinitive Splitter – (someone help me out here!) - BS Detector – maintaining credibility in your writing - 'Handwavium' pellets – cheating your reader by not using at least pseudo-credible science - Bosun’s Whistle – knowing that help is at hand at Hatrack - Invisibility booster – living with knowing that as a writer you will mostly be invisible to the editors - The Ultimate Weapon – a means for stopping a thread - Rising Action switch – avoiding disjunctions in story arcs - Levity Belt attachment – keeping levity to the appropriate minimum - Instant Quotations – using quotations to support your logic - k d-w – being able to count on our able and tireless moderator to keep our threads on track - Hatrack Ray-Gun with attachments – breaking up overly long concatenated phrases, the perils of slowing down and not focusing on our writing, adding punch to our writing, using graphs in creative metaphors
How better to learn, than with a chuckle? How finer to teach than with humor and a touch of silliness, to momentarily lighten the burden for crafters in a grim and toilsome trade?
BRRRRRAAAPPPPP!
Darn it! Is there somewhere to get the BS Detector calibrated? It keeps going off!! How annoying!
[This message has been edited by mikemunsil (edited August 24, 2004).]
Posted by Jeraliey (Member # 2147) on :
Try reversing the polarity, Mike. :P
Posted by mikemunsil (Member # 2109) on :
!!PPPPPAAAARRRRRRBBBB
dIDN'T WORK EITHER. bUT IT DID SET MY CAPLOCK TO SHOUT!
Posted by Jeraliey (Member # 2147) on :
Hmm, that's funny. It always worked for me. Ok, next idea! Take a very large monkey wrench.....
Posted by babylonfreek (Member # 2097) on :
Newly added Ray-Gun attachment:
The Incredible Coincidence generator. Shoot someone and see what happens. You'll be amazed!
Posted by MaryRobinette (Member # 1680) on :
I am afraid to go over to Fragments and Feedback to see what predicament I'm in now.
Posted by bladeofwords (Member # 2132) on :
lol, I haven't been keeping up with Rekivek...I need to print it out someday when I've got some free time.
Jon
Posted by Robyn_Hood (Member # 2083) on :
Since we have devised yet another Hatrack device, I figured the list needed an update.
****************
NEW The HUB 1.2 with Disbelief Suspenders!
(ooooohhh, aaaaahhh)
These handy, dandy accessories come in a variety of colours and styles, guarenteed to match any wardrobe. Use the suspenders on their own to add enjoyment to any flight of fancy you may encounter. Or wear them with your HUB and use them to help hold-up the disbelief in your own writing.
Already own the HUB 1.1? Do you only want the Disbelief Suspenders?
Not a problem! Redeem your Hatrack points for any HUB upgrade. Including a lovely set of Furry Dice (available in jet black, Mary-Kay pink, or winter white), or, the Hatrack ray-gun and attachments.
Don't delay, get yours today!
Posted by Pyre Dynasty (Member # 1947) on :
Ooh ooh, I want one.
Just one question what does the red Flashy button that says "Do not push even if I tell you to?" do?
Posted by Jeraliey (Member # 2147) on :
It flashes. Redly.
Posted by mikemunsil (Member # 2109) on :
Oh, good. I was afraid it was going to flash my red parts. Redly flashing is MUCH nicer, for everyone.
Posted by Dea on :
I am holding my sides in laughter!
Since this is my first day here on the boards, it's my first introduction to the "HUB".
My kids are all looking at me, saying "What mommy? What's so funny?"
I laugh harder and know I can't explain this well enough for them."
Posted by Magic Beans (Member # 2183) on :
I was working on a Prose Depurple-izer attachment for it, but I had the silly thing in reverse and... well, everything's a big mess over here... Um, I'll get back with you all later.
Posted by shadowynd (Member # 2077) on :
So THAT'S why the rug in Christine's short short was such a gosh-darned shade of purple!! *glares at Beans reproachfully*
Susan
Posted by Magic Beans (Member # 2183) on :
<Sheepishly Shrugs>
Posted by Jeraliey (Member # 2147) on :
Welcome, Dea!
Posted by MaryRobinette (Member # 1680) on :
Now announcing the Orson Scott Card officially endorsed version of the Hatrack Utility Belt!
Coming soon to stores near you.
---
I used a couple of Handwavium pellets in my BootCamp story. I had hit a point where I needed to do research and knew I wouldn't have time, so I turned it in with, "Using the latest [HANDWAVIUM] she isolated the sodium from the salt's sodium chlorid. With the pure silvery element, she [MORE HANDWAVIUM] combined it..." In the critique OSC said, "I loved the Handwavium, where did that term come from?"
And then, after explaining it, I then printed out this thread and the HUB version 1. He thought they were wonderful.
Posted by mikemunsil (Member # 2109) on :
Cool, MR!
Posted by Jeraliey (Member # 2147) on :
You should show him the Destination... chronicles. Although they're ridiculously silly, they're all about the HUB.
I also love all the writing puns.
[This message has been edited by Jeraliey (edited June 27, 2005).]
how cool!
Posted by MaryRobinette (Member # 1680) on :
Hot dog! He must have ordered his own HUB.
Posted by Survivor (Member # 213) on :
Possibly, though I think that "handwavium" is a common enough term amoungst SF writers. I first saw it several years ago.
It is only with the HUB that writers are granted access to the stuff in pellet form, however. Previously writers had to extract/derive handwavium from broken science ore, a process that usually left distinctive signatures from the broken science in the story.
OSC had never heard of Handwavium until I used two pellets to cover a spot needing research in my Boot Camp story. We showed him the HUB then--which he endorsed and loved.
Posted by mikemunsil (Member # 2109) on :
BIG BUMP!
Posted by KayTi (Member # 5137) on :
OMG, I haven't even read half the posts and am laughing all over. This a thread of pure awesomeness!!
Posted by Lullaby Lady (Member # 1840) on :
The bumping of this thread makes me miss all the "old" Hatrackers. I never thought I'd miss Survivor's snarkiness...
*sigh*
Back to lurker mode for this "old" gal, ~LL
Posted by KayTi (Member # 5137) on :
Just used some handwavium pellets in my Nano project and thought others might get a kick out of the thread where I first met them.
I think there's another thread with more attachments for the HUB...perhaps it's HUB 2.0.
This a thread of pure awesomeness!!
