I'm working on my Camp NaNo novel (just passed 30k!) and I've got my MC spraining her ankle, then there's a scene where the antagonist is manipulating her injured ankle as a way of torturing her to get her to change her testimony against him. The MC's love interest comes in and injures/kills the antagonist. Then I have my MC pass out. The next scene picks up with her in recovery. Now, since I've written this for NaNo and included it in my word count, I don't plan to change it - at least not until I finish this first draft. But I was just wondering, is it a cliche' to make a MC/POV character faint as a way to end a scene? Or should I do something different? I could just end the scene and pick up in the recovery scene, omitting the fainting entirely. However, I thought I'd ask my fellow Hatrackers before I made a note to change the scene, since you all know a lot more about writing than I do. :) Thanks for your time.
Posted by MAP (Member # 8631) on :
I think it is okay. Just don't do it too often in one book.
Posted by extrinsic (Member # 8019) on :
I find consciousness loss gimmicky and not working for me when it is used for no other purpose than to span time and space.
If a scene's particular dramatic complication is satisfied, and this one's contention between the protagonist and villain antagonist seems to be for the moment, then a perhaps larger, still pending dramatic complication must carry the storyline and plot forward from the scene's fainting conclusion, through the time and space jump transition, and into the next scene.
Posted by Robert Nowall (Member # 2764) on :
Cliche. Always reminds me of those Lovecraft stories where the protagonist encountered some horror and fainted dead away.
But don't let me stop you...if there's a reason the main character loses consciousness, say, an injury, then you can certainly get by with it...
Posted by RyanB (Member # 10008) on :
Collins did it in The Hunger Games (last book I think?). And I didn't care for it. I wanted to see what was happening while Katniss was out of it.
That said, I could see what you're describing working. You can satisfy the reader with part/all of the battle, and then delay the MC/love interest reunion.
Posted by rcmann (Member # 9757) on :
Depends on the circumstances. The plain fact is, sometimes people DO pass out in real life. If she was injured and being tortured, it is reasonable in my opinion for the shock to cause her to pass out, at least briefly. But I'm biased, since I did something similar when I had my protagonist get piled on in a battle and get knocked out. I have had it happen to me in real life, due to both head blows and illness. Stuff does occur.
Posted by Meredith (Member # 8368) on :
I can see some characters fainting during or immediately after torture. What stops me in this scenario is that a sprained ankle could cause enough pain to justify that. I've sprained my ankle more times than I can count. It's never quite that bad. And I have a notoriously low threshold for pain. Posted by RyanB (Member # 10008) on :
Whether the character is justified in fainting given the circumstances is the smaller part of the equation. You can invent any number of valid reasons for a person pass out. But should you?
What is the reader missing and why are you making them miss it. That's what you should be concerned with.
I'm not sure why Collins decided to remove Katniss from the action so much, but we missed a lot of things that I wanted to "see."
Like extrinsic was saying, what's carrying your reader through to the next scene. If it's the reunion with the love interest I think you're probably fine.
Posted by axeminister (Member # 8991) on :
I feel it's cliche and should be avoided. However, I find it very difficult to avoid when it's needed.
I admit, I roll my eyes, sigh, and let out a long breath every time I see one, but it has never stopped me from reading on.
I usually try to put some twist on it. And I don't just mean the words. (...and he faded to blackness.) Ugh.
The last one I did had my character falling and hitting his head. We don't know exactly if it's the previous exhaustion, or the impact.
That was about as twisty as I could make it because I need him OUT in order to wake up somewhere unexpected.
Hope that helps.
Axe
Posted by extrinsic (Member # 8019) on :
On a parallel and perhaps equally related concern, I wonder if the love interest coming along and saving the protagonist from the villain is ideally proactive dramatic action. Either way, being saved by another or saving one's self, requires set up in order not to feel coincidental. For the benefits of closer narrative distance, why not the protagonist saving herself? Then the love interest arriving to take the protagonist to safety and medical aid immediately prior to fainting?
Posted by enigmaticuser (Member # 9398) on :
Never used it (not counting blows to the head, etc...). I have a hard time with it because I've never seen it happen. On the hand, as pointed out, it does happen, so I think what would need to be established is why it happens and what it tells us about the character. You have to sell it so the reader doesn't think they're a sissy. To chime on the Katniss example, I bought it because she's a teenage girl who's been through a very stressful year. Her lapses sound akin to PTSD to me, so I bought it as Collins way of saying Katniss is not mentally in peak condition, so when she shoots that final arrow it makes sense. She's become unhinged. The passing out prepares us for that, IMO.
If it had happened in the first arena or at the reaping, I wouldn't have bought it.
Posted by rcmann (Member # 9757) on :
Passing out is never as neat is it is portrayed on screen anyway. When you take a disabling blow to the head, what happens is a sickening jar (literally sickening, as in it instantly induces nausea) along with the pain, and dizziness. Vision is blurred and colored flashes may appear, although more usually you see black areas caused by blood supply to the optic nerve being interrupted (I believe that is the root cause, but I'm not a doc. you might want to double check that). In my experience the most disturbing part of the experience is the impact jar, which, in a sense, dislocates your sense of self. I don't know any better way of putting it.
Passing out from illness, as when I had a heart attack, is a slower and less exciting process. But it's more upsetting because you have time to know what's happening and fight against it, and realize that you are losing the fight.
Both ways are no fun at all, and both way induced dizziness and nausea in me, as well as disorientation when awakened. Coming out of a faint/passed out state is *not* like waking up from sleep. It takes time to figure out what the hell happened, who you are, where you are, and why your head hurts. And who are these strange people poking and prodding at you? Confusion reigns supreme for a while, the length of time is dependent on the damage incurred and partly on the length of time you were out.
Posted by extrinsic (Member # 8019) on :
A number of causes cause fainting, or syncope, "characterized by rapid onset, short duration, and spontaneous recovery, due to global hypofusion (low blood flow to the brain)" (Wikipedia: Syncope). These and other losses of consciousness causes are all brain related: high fever, inadequate oxygen supply, low blood pressure, extreme hypo or hyper blood glucose level, blunt force trauma, extreme pain, etc., and the most curious to me, survival impulse.
I can see fainting from a sprained and then tortured ankle, due to initial nonconscious gasping and then holding of breath reflexes responding to intense pain. Fainting is a survival impulse that allows diminished oxygen levels to restabilize.
Human survival impluse response tends to cause fainting and other losses of consciousness as protective measures. High fever--recuperative benefits from loss of consciousness. Low blood pressure, low oxygen supply, extreme glucose levels, may benefit from momentary diminishment or losses of consciousness. Blunt force trauma and extreme pain losses of consciousness are not only immediate consequences, they are also survival impluses that ideally mitigate further harm, playing opposum, so to speak, too, and allow recuperation to begin.
Falling from a harmful height often results in loss of consciousness during the fall, prior to impact, so the subconscious mind may take what protective measures it may without interference from the conscious mind. Proto humans at one time lived their daily lives in trees. Fear of falling from trees remains part of the collective human subconscious. Of course, falling from a tree is potentially harmful, though humans no longer live in trees.
I've fallen from a tree a time or two. Each time, I lost consciousness when I consciously realized I was falling into harm. I soon recovered consciousness unhurt, not even a concussion, and had only mild aches and pains, not even bruising. During the fall, when I passed out, I think my subconscious mind evaluated the circumstances, the contours and composition of the ground, intervening obstacles, and so on, and arranged my body posture so that the least possible harm happened. Of course, most times, I landed on comparatively soft ground. The times I landed on hardscape: concrete, stone, or asphalt, the height of my fall was less than when I fell onto soft ground. Though never a concussion or a broken bone, no bruising nor massive bleeding, some contusions, but always a stinging-head sensation.
Posted by Leona12 (Member # 10106) on :
I personally think it's okay most of the time. Just don't overuse it. In my first novel I ever wrote (don't get the wrong idea, I'm unpublished because I decided it stunk) almost every single chapter she fainted one or more times. I don't do that anymore, thank goodness.
Posted by mayflower988 (Member # 9858) on :
It sounds like the general opinion is that fainting out of a scene is okay as long as it's justified by some kind of natural set-up, such as sufficient pain/danger/injury, and as long as there is something to carry the reader through to the next scene, such as reunion with the love interest. extrinsic, I did like your suggestion about the heroine saving herself, and then the love interest coming and removing her to safety. I think I might use that. I would like to make her a little tougher. As I'm writing this novel, I keep thinking that the things and characters I'm writing aren't very believable or realistic. But again, this is the first draft, so I think that right now my main concern is finishing the draft. Those of you who have fainted before, I appreciate what you were able to tell me about the experience(s). I've never fainted myself, so I'm glad for the first-hand accounts. As far as Katniss goes, I couldn't find the account of her fainting at the end of the third book like I thought I would. I did find one towards the end of the second book, Catching Fire. It seems like Collins was doing the same thing I'm trying to do, end the scene and move on to the next one. I guess she thought the action occurring in the intermediate time wasn't important or exciting enough to warrant a moment-by-moment scene or two.
Posted by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (Member # 59) on :
Well then, I have fainted a couple of times, that I know of. The first time, I was too young to remember much about it (I had been riding on a parade float on a hot summer day).
The second time, I hadn't eaten since breakfast, and I was in a fabric store with my mother. I remember lowering my head and closing my eyes and mumbling to her that I felt sick, and then I heard a buzzing sound, and then my eyes "cleared" (not opened, they were already open), and I saw a circle of people staring down at me and realized I was lying on my back on the floor.
My mother said that I had started to fall forward, so she helped me down onto my back, and she was worried that I might be convulsing because my mouth was moving (my mumbling).
I was very dizzy for quite a long time afterwards.
I also remember a friend fainting after the high school marching band we were in had been practicing some maneuvers for a football game halftime. We were dressed in our thick and heavy band uniforms (dress rehearsal), and it was again a hot day. When the practice ended, we headed for the nearby shade and noticed her lying on the ground as if she were asleep. She looked very peaceful, and we thought she was joking. Nope.
Hope some of that may be of help.
Posted by extrinsic (Member # 8019) on :
You're welcome, mayflower988.
The principle on point is one I know only too well; that is, that central personas, characters, are as a best practice proactive in satisfying their personal wants and problems. A protagonist who is at first dependent upon others for satisfaction may gradually grow and become proactive and independent as a drama's action unfolds, too. That kind of change can parallel other action quite artfully.
A basic principle for transitions, and "fainting out of a scene" is a transition, is stepped setup, jump transition past time and space, and stepped follow-through afterward. "Stepped" is a critical criteria, so that tension elevates from what readers know beforehand. This is dramatic irony in that readers will anticipate the faint and expect it to happen. But delaying it happening just a mite creates tension when it doesn't happen at the immediate expected moment.
I too have seen people faint during parades and similar ceremonies, Invariably, they had locked their knees while standing idle on hot days and, as a result, fainted from diminished blood flow to the brain.
Posted by mayflower988 (Member # 9858) on :
Come to think of it, a friend of mine fainted in high school during our choir practice. She had locked her knees, too. Ironically, she fainted as we were singing "When I Fall in Love".
KDW, that was helpful. You've given me some more symptoms that occur both before and after fainting; it's always good to have more to work with.
Extrinsic, I'm not sure I understand this concept of "stepped". I do understand that one wants to increase the tension throughout the novel, but doesn't there come a point after the climax when the tension begins to decrease until the novel reaches a resolution? At least, so I've been told. I do get what you're saying about the central characters being proactive in satisfying their wants. When I read your comment about that, I realized that I've written my MC as a damsel-in-distress. A damsel in distress is fine in the right story, such as a fairy tale, but I doubt she'd make an ideal MC. A main character is a protagonist, with emphasis on the "pro". A protagonist should be proactive.
Posted by Reziac (Member # 9345) on :
The fainting wouldn't bother me, but the sprained ankle... THAT is a cliche I'm bloody sick of.
Posted by extrinsic (Member # 8019) on :
mayflower988,
For setup steps, say the protagonist shortly will faint from shortness of breath due to compressing her diaphragm during intense pain. Three steps earlier, she hurts and feels lightheaded. She acts to defuse the assailant and is woozy afterward. She puts the assailant down and faints when the love interest arrives. Jump.
Recovery from a faint due to shortness of breath is fairly rapid. She recovers in the love interest's arms or perhaps in a carriage on the way to a cottage where she can more fully recover. Perhaps they converse. Who was the assailant? What did he want? And so on. Those are follow-through steps, for example, that ought also begin developing the next scene's dramatic import. Whatever new hurdle prevents and overcoming progresses satisfaction of the main dramatic complication.
Elevating tension may feel to readers like an arc or a pyramid, with a narrative's several features of: efforts to satisfy a complication, acquired knowledge about the complication, opposition of complication forces, and doubt of outcome of the complication climaxing about midway; and emotionally climaxing near the end, beginning with the denouement act. But tension rises and reliefs ideally occur throughout.
Tense moments should rise and release momentarily soon thereafter so readers don't have heart attacks, so to speak. I visualize a graph of tension more like a ziggurat than an arc or pyramid, with stepped elevations. The stair-stepped risers are tension elevations, each with individual climax moments; the treads are tension reliefs, each with momentary denouements.
Many narratives may have similar shapes. One primary feature common to all occurs at the midway climax: seeming successful satisfaction of the complication is but a moment away. However, soon thereafter a tragic crisis scene again raises doubt of outcome. Tragic crisis scenes are challenging to write artfully.
Let's say your protagonist escapes from the villain, believing him dead from a chandelier smashing in his head. A tragic crisis scene might simply show him looking for her where she's fled. Maybe that's too simple. Maybe he died after all but not before giving witness to an official that she cruely murdered him and the official then seeking her. Perhaps fresher and stronger yet, he died and she unintentionally left behind clues that point to her as his murderer, due to the love interest carrying her off before she could recover the clues. Say the villain had items belonging to her. The villain having those items must be set up perhaps long beforehand.
A tragic crisis scene or scenes take place after a midway climax and at the beginning of a falling action act, restoring doubt of outcome and setting up "second-wind" efforts and oppositions to overcome or setting up coming to an accomodation with what seems like abject failure to satisfy a main dramatic complication.
While conflict resolution outcomes are one type of ending, perhaps the most common ones, other outcomes do not per se resolve a central conflict. That's why I favor dramatic complication satisfaction as an overall principle. The twists, or dramatic turns, that really satisfy readers are easier to portray when midstream dramatic turns--profound, abrupt discoveries and reversals--are still on the table and not precluded because they don't fit a conflict resolution ending.
[ July 19, 2013, 09:19 PM: Message edited by: extrinsic ]
Posted by mayflower988 (Member # 9858) on :
quote:Originally posted by Reziac: The fainting wouldn't bother me, but the sprained ankle... THAT is a cliche I'm bloody sick of.
Really? That's a cliche? I didn't know that. I suppose I could have her break her foot, but then she'd be awfully limited in what she could do afterwards. Then again, I guess that's kind of the point, that the hero/heroine is faced with insurmountable odds, such that it looks like there's absolutely no way for her to overcome the opposition character. But her victory over him needs to be believable. So I'm looking for injuries that are serious enough to keep her from easily defeating the antagonist, but not so serious that she can't defeat the antagonist. I probably should have mentioned earlier that this is the climax, the final battle between protagonist and antagonist. Sorry about that. That might help you all to better know how to advise me. Thanks again for all your help, by the way.
Posted by Reziac (Member # 9345) on :
Yeah, the sprained ankle as a convenient disabler has been done to death, in both books and vids.
And in my experience, it's not really suitable for what it's typically used for. I've observed two kinds of sprained ankles, all from stepping wrong off a curb or the like:
The quick owie, where about the time you get done swearing, it's approaching okay again. (I manage to do this to myself semi-regularly.)
The damnear-broken, that lames you for weeks or months afterward. (Have known a few folks who suffered this.)
I suppose there must be intermediate ankle sprains, but I've yet to meet one in Real Life[tm]... might be that if it causes more than transient pain, it's because tissue is torn, which is NOT going to be transient.
As to the level of injury you're looking for -- how long do you need her disabled, to what degree, and how mobile do you need her to be at each stage? how much actual damage does the bad guy do? I'd think torture-manipulating a sprain is liable to turn it crippling. At what point does that stop being believable? Just throwing out thoughts right now; feel free to throw them back.
[I damnear tortured my MC to death. He has no appreciation of suffering for his art. ]
And my brain now wants to read it as "sprained angel". Someone needs to take that and run with it. Posted by rcmann (Member # 9757) on :
A good point about sprains my daughter had a sprained ankle an was on crutches for weeks. In some ways, depending on the specifics of the injury, a sprain can be more disabling than a break. If you want her to still be able to move around after the torture, I suggest something like a simple beating, where she gets punched into unconsciousness. Afterward she could be still groggy, but able to function well enough to overcome it. I would personally find that more believable than suffering torture applied to a disabled joint, and then jumping up and kicking butt.
Posted by extrinsic (Member # 8019) on :
I'd look to what is the function of the scene to evaluate what needs to happen: climactic for one, defeat of the villain for another, underlying the whole is satisfaction of a major want or problem, or denouement. What are the outcomes of the dramatic complication? Successful or failed satisfaction? Is the dramatic complication tangible? The villain is a tangible problem and defeating him is a tangible want. A less tangible problem or want is the relationship with the love interest. Is there a potent intangible dramatic complication? Personal growth is a potent intangible want or problem. Does the protagonist experience a personal growth?
Further, in terms of intangible meaning of the villain, what does he represent? For example, does he represent oppressive patriarchal patronization? And does defeating him represent gaining personal freedom from that oppression? That's a satisfying personal growth.
Does an ankle injury substantiate the villain's motives and meaning? The ankle is a bit far away from the personal, on an extremity. Would a different injury reflect the villain's meaning, intent, and influence? Cracked ribs, for example, are closer to the heart, potentially more private, equally painful and open to torture, perhaps leaving possibility for proactive reaction and enough to debiltate yet in dire straights only an impediment to action. A groin injury might be even more personal, since the villain would have to lay hands on the protagonist's private body in order to torture her.
Then, how the protagonist with a debilitating injury defeats the villian has equal significance. Since she's injured, vulnerable, and female, what's available that she's capable of doing? Being female, would the motif method she resorts to be a credible female action?
A woman might be familiar with domestic implements but not per se weapons. The setting and milieu and their objects then are appreciable. Where does this scene take place? In an inn or cottage, a ballroom or bed chamber, a kitchen or stable, a forest or meadow? A domestic setting or abroad?
Then how are her physical and emotional abilities to defeat the villain prepositioned in earlier scenes? If she's a women familiar with weapons, that needs to be shown earlier and repeated and elevated until the climactic scene. If she's unfamiliar with weapons, then whatever manner of defense she resorts to needs to be set up earlier, and repeated and elevated.
A sprained or strained ankle doesn't necessarily not work for me. Just I think its significance needs prior preparation to be set up. Maybe the villain has a foot fetish? Or, more seriously, he's particularly craven and his preferred method of attack is laming his prey and toying with the victim. Perhaps she knows this. Again, setup is crucial.
Stretched ligaments, strained, not torn; stretched muscles, strained, not torn, are painful but heal in a few weeks. Perhaps an incomplete talus fracture where a slight crack has painful but not totally debilitating influence. Any would work for me if set up priorly, if meaningful, and if significant beyond the injury, and if followed up through afterward.
Edited to add: Regardless, writing the rough draft is foremost and first. Getting the literal circumstances onto the page first is a best practice. Then during reworking using these above rhetorical questions and others for developing the figurative meaning may adjust motifs accordingly. For now, with a looming deadline, a strained ankle serves as an adequate placeholder motif.
[ July 21, 2013, 05:24 PM: Message edited by: extrinsic ]
Posted by rcmann (Member # 9757) on :
Don't over analyze it. Write the thing and see how it comes out. If it doesn't work, re-write it. Nobody will see it until you show it to them, so it doesn't matter whether its good or not. What matters is that it gets written. THEN polish it. You can't polish something that doesn't exist yet.
Posted by genevive42 (Member # 8714) on :
Both the ankle sprain and the faint are cliche. On your next draft I'd recommend coming up with something more original. And I agree with extrinsic above, why not have her save herself rather than being rescued? Or at least be part of her own solution.
It's NaNo, so just move forward for now, but remember that words written during NaNo are some of the least sacred you'll ever write.
Posted by extrinsic (Member # 8019) on :
Numerous writing advices suggest not to take the first idea that comes to mind. To consider two or three or a dozen. I do that. Sometimes the first idea is stronger than the last, not often, since what first occurs may be identical to what any given or many other writers might first consider too and thus not as fresh as might be ideal. My previous post is a summary of that kind of thought processes, only underlying it is a strategic rationale for developing ideas.
Like if the protagonist is the villain's target, what sort of complications, motives, and intents he might have. A two-dimensional villain would be entirely wicked; however, for three-dimensionality, only a few motifs of wickedness need to be portrayed, but several motifs of nobleness also need to be portrayed and, of course, both need prior setup, and repetition and elevation. Or in terms of rhetorical schemes: Repetition, Substitution, and Amplification. Repeat a motif, but substitute differing circumstances that amplify the original motif.
Taking the foot fetish projected example, at first, the villain might admire a woman's ankles from afar. Next, he might touch a woman's ankles, but be a little on the lascivious and deviant side. Also maybe priorly show him two or more times as sadistic. Bring the deviant fetish and sadism together at least once prior to the climactic scene, where he then is at his most wicked behavior. This kind of strategy defuses what otherwise might come across as cliché.
However, the personal and private import of the scene might be fresher, stronger, and clearer if another body part was injured.
[ July 22, 2013, 11:52 AM: Message edited by: extrinsic ]
Posted by rcmann (Member # 9757) on :
I must respectfully disagree with "numerous writing advices". No intent to offend, but the creative part of the mind seldom improves when subjected to the harassment of critical review. You create with your gut, you polish with logic. Two different things. Go with what feels right *to you*. If the first idea feels wrong, change it. Otherwise, stick with it. Don't second guess yourself. That's self-destructive. Polish, yes. Doubt, no.
Posted by extrinsic (Member # 8019) on :
Paraphrasing Thomas Edison: Inventive, creative genuis is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration. Part of that perspiration is trying other motifs that might be more appealing, fresher, stronger, and clearer than the ones that first arise. The sprained ankle motif, for example, labeled cliché by several commentors above, is open for possible reconsideration.
Fully realizing a scene, in my experiences as writer, editor, and publisher, is challenging, a large part because a scene must match up with what came before and what comes after. Or Chekhov's Gun. Paraphrasing Anton Chekhov's most famous writing principle contribution: If a gun is in a first act, it ought to be fired in the final act. Or vice versa, if a gun is fired in a final act, it ought to be set up in an earlier act. Pull the motif's trigger, whatever the motif may be, but set up the motif's mythos--mythology and theme and plot relevance--beforehand.
These motifs are also stepped progressions that elevate tension; however, unlike situational steps, which are immediate to the moment of a situation, they are extended steps, spanning across entire parts and parcels. They demand expenditure of perspiration and arise from inspiration.
[ July 22, 2013, 07:43 PM: Message edited by: extrinsic ]
Posted by rcmann (Member # 9757) on :
Without context, we have no way of knowing what works. All we have is the initial question about fainting. The thread moved on into sprained ankles, etc. But what if the ankle was sprained because the villain had stretched a trip wire across the steps to his basement hideout, and she fell down two full flights? We don't know.
All we know is that the protagonist is female, that the villain is torturing her, and that the hero will show up eventually. The originator wanted opinions on whether fainting was a valid mechanism for a scene change. I think it is. as to whether or not the sprained ankle is valid, only the author can say. It all depends on the context of the story itself. If she is in free-fall aboard a space station, it might be a stretch. If she is climbing through broken rocks on an old strip-mining bench, it's perfectly plausible.
Posted by hoptoad (Member # 2145) on :
for what it's worth (and late it seems) I once slipped on a wet floor in a camp hut and went headlong into a concrete pillar. Not quite unconscious I could hear everyone talking but could not move or see anything... when my eyes 'cleared' as KDW put it, my vision was shuddering and I had been carried to one of the bunks.
Point, there can still be action going on if your 'almost' out.
Posted by MattLeo (Member # 9331) on :
The one, true rule of tasteful writing is this: don't do anything you can't get away with. People who are enjoying a story will grant the author all kinds of license that an author they're not enjoying doesn't receive.
That said, you ought to beware of doing something simply because you can't be bothered to work out something more logical. If the MC is losing blood, then fainting is logical. If the MC is suffering from hypoglycemia or orthostatic hypertension, fainting is logical. If the MC has a sudden, traumatic experience fainting is logical.
The stress of being tortured, then seeing someone killed could very plausibly cause someone to faint (look up vasovagal syncope). But you run into a problem unique to fiction writers: an actually plausible event that readers might not find credible. They might (incorrectly) reason that little Sally Sunshine should feel happiness and relief when Rodney Rockjaw lops off Dastardly Dan's head with an icing spatula, when in fact that would be a gruesome and harrowing experience.
In other words it's up to you to sell it. It not only has to *be* logical; it has to *sound* logical. In fact it's more important for a story to sound plausible than to actually be plausible.
Finally, if you're a satirist like me, you may want to play with worn out tropes for comic effect. In one story I wrote a detective, who happens to be a professor of literature, calls his department in for a summation gathering in a murder case. He does this because he despises them, and knows they'll be mortified by actually taking part in such a cliche, every hoary detail of which he of course plays to the hilt.
Posted by mayflower988 (Member # 9858) on :
My novel is a medieval fantasy. The antagonist murdered the heroine's sister several years ago, unbeknownst to the king. Now the king is considering the antagonist for the office of governor over the heroine's region. The heroine sneaks into the castle in order to inform the king of the antagonist's crime and prevent the king from appointing the antagonist. I had the heroine climbing a tree and dropping behind the castle wall, spraining her ankle. Then in the climactic scene, she encountered the antagonist inside the castle, and that was when the torture and fainting scene occurred. However, extrinsic's comment about how the heroine should be proactive in her final battle convinced me to change the scene. I'm doing away with the ankle sprain so my heroine can put up a fight and actually cause her own victory. Now my problem is finding a way for the heroine to sneak inside the castle without the fall that sprains her ankle. Anyway, I just thought I'd provide the context that seems to be needed for this discussion. :)
Posted by extrinsic (Member # 8019) on :
Without raising too much fuss about feminine and masculine gender axes, I wonder if the protagonist being female might offer an access to how she enters the castle that is proportionally dramatic to the scene's import.
How did women move about in the Middle Ages? They didn't stray far from their domestic situations. When they did, they did in the company of male and female chaperones: male to guard them from predations, female to guard them from their male chaperones. Though this novel does stray from accepted gender conventions of the Middle Ages, how she travels abroad set up earlier may offer guidance on how she enters the castle.
An easy answer, on the surface, is she dresses in male clothing. Joan of Arc did, though openly as a female warrior. Later in history, both Anne Bonny and Mary Read, the notorious female pirates of Calico Jack Rackham's sloop Revenge, dressed as men somewhat openly, though Read was disguised as a male from an early age for purposes of deception and financial gain. I suppose and historians believe other women may have similarly disguised themselves as men, their successful efforts perhaps demonstrated by a lack of ample documentation.
Another possibility, perhaps she enters as a woman, but under different circumstaces: loose woman, a drudge, part of a party of chaperoned women.
Another possibility, she does sneak in undisguised, but through an unguarded entrance known or made known to her. Though over a castle wall is to my thinking least likely credible for woman or man.
Another possibility, she enters openly as just who she is with the agenda she intends, but is aided by allies.
Or any combination of the above. Or an as yet unused method awaiting discovery. Trojan horses in the nature of hay wagons seem to me overdone. In a group of recruits levied for castle service? Perhaps as a legitimate representative of another official, chaperoned though, say for an abbess, and only she can fulfill the abbess's mission?
Posted by mayflower988 (Member # 9858) on :
Thanks, extrinsic. Those are helpful comments. I like your variety of options for entrances. I'm liking the idea of the heroine disguising herself as a man to get into the castle. Or I might have her lie about being on an errand for the abbess.
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