Hatrack River Writers Workshop: One More Time... ? or !

This is topic One More Time... ? or ! in forum Open Discussions About Writing at Hatrack River Writers Workshop.

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Posted by Crystal Stevens (Member # 8006) on :

In my WIP, the following dialog is said in emotional rage and at the most crutial point in the story. Everything hangs on it. I want to express that rage. It must be there strong and powerful. Most people would say it's a question instead of an exclamation and should have a question mark instead of an exclamation point. But if I do that, I'll lose all the power this piece of dialog must have to carry it off.

Comments?

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“How can you say that after what he’s done!” Julie glared at the bloody pulp of Degan’s face and listened to him wheeze through a crushed nose.
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Posted by genevive42 (Member # 8714) on :

I think the tone of the dialog and the surrounding context speaks for itself. This is a good thing. Use the question mark, the exclamation mark is implied.

Posted by tchernabyelo (Member # 2651) on :

Alternatively, it's not unknown to use both, with the question mark preceding the exclamation mark (or, if you really want to be cool/flashy/edgy/whatever, you can use the Interrobang - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interrobang).

Posted by Tiergan (Member # 7852) on :

I will second what genevive42 said.

Posted by Osiris (Member # 9196) on :

I agree with genevive. Alternatively, you can use the question mark in conjunction with a dialog tag.

"How can you say that after what he's done?" Julie screamed...

Posted by Crystal Stevens (Member # 8006) on :

I should've added that Degan's injuries are due to Julie beating on him. So her actions do define her rage.

And screaming is just not her style.

Right now I'm in favor of the question mark but enjoying everyone's comments .

Posted by pdblake (Member # 9218) on :

Sound like a rhetorical question to me. Strictly speaking it probably should have a question mark but I would think a bit of artistic licence wouldn't go amiss. It certainly reads more urgently with the exclamation mark.

Posted by telflonmail (Member # 9501) on :

How about both?

The question mark after "...say that" and move the rest of the dialogue to the end of the paragraph with an exclamation mark. IMHO, it gives pause and stronger drama.

Posted by Robert Nowall (Member # 2764) on :

I'll go with just the question mark. The angry tone of voice should be obvious from the dialog itself.

Posted by genevive42 (Member # 8714) on :

quote:
Degan's injuries are due to Julie beating on him. So her actions do define her rage

See, this is how good the line and set-up are. This is exactly what I assumed had happened in the scene.

Posted by Pyre Dynasty (Member # 1947) on :

The exclamation point has lost its power over the years, much like certain words you can't say on TV. I blame overuse. Also, I am of the opinion that I shouldn't have to wait till the end of the sentence to find out its tone. You really don't need it.

How dare you incite the interrobang‽

Posted by Ken S (Member # 9010) on :

I say go with the question mark. Trust your reader to pick up the tone from the context and dialogue.

I would also try and keep it simple. If I'm reading something great...I tend to skip over stuff like "Julie screamed" because I already know she's screaming.

Posted by MattLeo (Member # 9331) on :

Personally, I think the most important part is that the emotion you want *make sense*. If it is clearly the emotion the reader would imagine himself having in that situation, the reader will tend to read that into the situation without any help. Of course sometimes the character knows something that the reader doesn't yet, then the words and mannerisms have to carry that message.

I don't think relying on punctuation to convey feeling is a good idea; it's not really different than using adverbial modifiers on dialog tags (he said angrily), and considerably less clear. Use punctuation to convey the way the speaker is speaking. If the speaker is using a questioning tone of voice (rising in tone) then end in a question mark. If the speaker is using a loud tone of voice which invites no response, use an exclamation, or maybe a period. So in the passage, I'd suggest exclamation point.

This, I think, can be thought of as a kind of manifestation of "show not tell". Don't *tell* the reader the speaker is angry (by decorating dialog tags or some other such trick). If the description of the words, tone, and body language of the speaker doesn't convey what you need to convey, do more describing.

Posted by LDWriter2 (Member # 9148) on :

Since, it seems, almost everyone has joined in I figure I would add my thoughts even though I agree with a couple of people.

A question mark is okay since the emotion is there in other ways. There is no question that she is angry.

I would add though that I have been told by more than one critiquer that using both a ? and a ! is amateurish. I don't what editors think of it just what I have been told by more than two people.

I have heard in one interview by Lemoniny (Or whatever her-his name is) and read comments by other pros, that when it comes to dialogue, the best way is just to write She said, "...." Or Insert name said"...." and let the dialogue give the sense of emotion.

I think in your case it's shown already.

Posted by Reziac (Member # 9345) on :

To my eye there's a difference in tone.

“How can you say that after what he’s done!”
This is nearly shouted, there's anger behind it, but it doesn't seem to require a response. It's the speaker boiling over, not an answer being demanded.

“How can you say that after what he’s done?”
This puts a sense of a response-is-expected from the addressed party, and I hear it delivered in a less-strident tone.

“How can you say that after what he’s done?!”
This lies somewhere between the above in vehemence, and expresses mixed feelings on the part of the speaker.

“How can you say that after what he’s done!?”
This just doesn't work visually. Unsureness comes before demand, not after.

And if I encountered an interrobang in a printed work, I'd assume it was ?! as a printer error.