My question is, before I send it all out to the agents (who will surely snap my fingers off for it ), this. I have the first draft of a stand alone sequel already done and am about to start writing another set in the same world with the same characters. Do I let the agent know this?

I have closed (for now) the query thus:

GREAT BOOK is a nnn,000 word fantasy set in a rich world and with the first draft of a stand alone sequel complete and a third novel involving Great Main Character and his adventures in the process of being written. Please find enclosed the first three chapters and a synopsis for your consideration.

[This message has been edited by pdblake (edited December 05, 2010).]
 

I am not an expert on queries but it seems like you should sell the existing book first and leave the mention of the others until you have them hooked. But do let them know there is the possibility of a series.
 

Not only is that a jaw-breaker of a sentence to close with, but the agent really is only interested in the first one, right now. If they're interested in that. You only have about 250 words to sell them on this one. You wasted ten percent of that on other books.

[This message has been edited by Meredith (edited December 05, 2010).]
 

http://blog.nathanbransford.com/2007/07/how-to-mention-series-in-query.html

http://blog.nathanbransford.com/2010/03/all-about-sequels.html

http://blog.nathanbransford.com/2008/08/choosing-among-projects.html

And here's what the Query Shark said:

quote:

---

I'm not jazzed about announcing a book is a series in the query letter. The reason is not that I don't want to take on books that can be series because I do. Most editors want books that can be the start of a series.

I'm very suspicious that "start of a series" means the author has written five sort of ok novels, and not one outstanding novel. . .

If this is a series, I'd rather see MURDER TAKES TIME (word count) is the first of a potential series. That way you've told me you want it to be a series, but you haven't actually done the writing yet.

---

Basically, neither object to a short statement that there could be a series. Neither especially wants to know what's already written.
 

Also don't praise your own work, like "rich world" and "Great Main Character". Of course you think it is great, otherwise you wouldn't have written it. But you are really not in the position to make these judgements. Let your writing speak for itself.

It is like a parent describing their child as smart and beautiful.

[This message has been edited by MAP (edited December 05, 2010).]
 

"Great Main Character" was a place holder
 

[This message has been edited by pdblake (edited December 06, 2010).]
 

I suspect that you will need to add more information about the book itself to your query needs before it will get any agent interested.

Edited to add that you can also do that with your synopsis. The 13-line rule only applies to the manuscript you hope to have published.

[This message has been edited by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (edited December 06, 2010).]
 

I'm happy with the query itself. I've edited the closing bit and submitted already. I'll let you all know how I get on.

Thanks for the help.
 

While looking up my notes on queries the first file I opened was this one.
Patricia Wrede used to hung around a forum on AOL and we asked her quite a few questions over the years. She was kind enough to always respond. If you haven't read her she does fantasy. I say does because I have only seen one of her books and that was a reprint, in the last two years or so. But that doesn't mean much. I have no idea if she uses a pen name. She has done quite a few books.

Anyway here is a note she wrote concerning query letters. Some of it, at least some, agrees with some other pro writer pointers on queries.

<<It's a business letter. You use common business-letter sense. Meaning that 1) You want to tell the editor what business the letter is dealing with, 2) there are things about the manuscript, like it's length and whether it's finished or not, and possibly things about you, like "I've sold six short stories to ANALOG in the past three weeks" (don't we all wish), that aren't going to be in the plot summary, and that you have to put somewhere in the
letter, and 3) there isn't a standard formula.

You can start your letter "Dear editor: I have recently completed a 120,000 word fantasy novel, which I hope you will be interested in considering." You can start "Dear Editor: My fantasy novel, QUEST FOR A SHARP POINTY THING, begins in the year -12,000..." You can start it "Dear Editor: I have sold six short stories to ANALOG, and have just finished my first SF novel." You can start it with anything that makes sense as a business letter and
gives the editor information he/she needs to know. You've seen business letters. They aren't that deep. Tell the editor what you would like to see, in the order you would like to see it, if *you* were an editor.

The exact contents of query letters, the positioning of commas and the phrasing of introductory and ending paragraphs, is one of the things that beginning authors tend to obsess about. It's a waste of time to obsess. Apply some common sense, and get on with the next thing.

Patricia C. Wrede >>