Hatrack River Writers Workshop: Complex Human Emotion

This is topic Complex Human Emotion in forum Open Discussions About Writing at Hatrack River Writers Workshop.

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Posted by Tiergan (Member # 7852) on :

Alright, here's the deal. After finishing the latest round of edits on my novel, one area still bothers me. I'll set the scene.

A 10-year old girl, Roselyn, recites the prayer for Knights Valor and summons a Death Knight to do her bidding, offering her life as payment. The Knight comes and rescues her parents. Her parents realize that their daughter summoned him and by doing so will die. The parents have to put this thought out of their minds so they can prepare the town for the coming war.

As of now, the mother, the "strongest" of the parents, doesnt tell the father what she knows so that his mind is left on the planning of the war. When all is said and done she tries to kill the Knight.

The father has come to the same conclusions, and doesnt tell the mother so she won't worry over something that can't be helped as of now. He keeps going on by telling himself it hasnt happened yet and nothing in life is certain.

Is this possible? Could a parent put these thoughts in the back corner of their mind to face the other issues at hand, and then face this one, when the war is over? If so, would they be constantly thinking of it? I fear I may have taken an easy way out and avoided them really facing this issue.

As a father of 2 little girls, I don't know if I could think rationally.

[This message has been edited by Tiergan (edited July 16, 2008).]

Posted by Elan (Member # 2442) on :

It depends on the character profiles you build of the parents. If you portray them as "no-nonsense business first" people, then it would not disrupt the believability. If you portray them as "relationship first" people, then it would seem out of character.

Posted by innesjen (Member # 6126) on :

This makes me think of Xena Warrior Princess. Often, if Gabrielle was hurt or if Xena was hurt and a battle was approaching where innocent people might be hurt, they often thought of the "Greater Good" and put the lives of others before their own or eachothers. I agree with Elan, that it really depends on the character, and if you establish that they are people who consider the greater good over their own lives/lives of their children, then this will be believable.

Posted by Kathleen Dalton Woodbury (Member # 59) on :

May I recommend that you find a copy of Tony Hillerman's THE GHOST WAY and read it to see how he interspersed the personal concerns of a cop with the investigation the cop was conducting?

This is one of my favorite of Tony Hillerman's books because of how well he does this, and how much I was able to learn about both the cop (Navajo Jim Chee) and the things he cared about and struggled with, all while he was travelling away from his home territory to further a murder investigation.

Posted by tommose (Member # 8058) on :

I think that a parent can "forget" and put feelings aside when they are actively engaged. In their downtime, they can fall apart. Over time, cracks would probably form in their facades as Roselyn's ultimate date approached.

Posted by MrsBrown (Member # 5195) on :

It would make a huge difference if they know when the girl is liable to be killed. If they know its next Thursday, then they have a week to prepare the town AND think about their daughter.

If it could happen at any time, then they'd be concerned with keeping her right next to them at all times, and have a harder time focusing on that greater good.

Also how important are these parents to the greater good? Could others do what they are doing, or are they the only ones who can do it? Can they delegate? How serious and immediate is the threat to others?

All these questions will impact believability.

Posted by Robert Nowall (Member # 2764) on :

I don't see why it would be a problem. I remember reading one account of the beginning of World War I (probably the famous The Guns of August, though I've read others). It was noted several times in passing of the death in combat of several sons of the French politicians and generals in that first month---in one case the only child---and they went right on with their conduct of the war. (Just how soon they learned the facts of their son's deaths, I don't know.)

Posted by Tiergan (Member # 7852) on :

Thanks for the advice all. I too thought they could put it from their mind if they were kept moving/busy and she is not with them anyway or had been for 2/3 the novel so that should help. I can then have it hit them fully at the end. Thanks again.

Posted by Christine (Member # 1646) on :

How big is whatever they need to take care of first?

If it's HUGE...the fate of the country or whatever...then maybe BUT if my child's life were in danger then even if I couldn't deal with it right now, even if the fate of thousands of people hung on me doing something else, I would still be thinking about it.

Posted by KayTi (Member # 5137) on :

Where is the girl during this war planning? With the parents? Then yes, they can probably do some amount of compartmentalizing, but you'd have to do some inner dialogue of the point of view character (or multiples if you do more than one POV) about how upset they are about the situation. The girl should be trying to hide it from the parents, the mom hiding it from the dad and hiding her knowledge from the girl (because she knows the girl hid it from her - maybe they have a heart to heart some night and the girl tearily asked mom not to tell dad, or vice versa which would be an interesting role-reversal) etc.

The problem I have is that the dad knows and thinks it's something that can't be helped now. If the rules of your world are that once the prayer is said, the death knight comes, etc., then the dad would have to know the consequence. The dawning of this knowledge (for either parent) would be catastrophic. It would be act-climax-worthy. For the dad to then assume nothing can be done (the idea dad is able to put it out of mind becuase nothing in life is certain, but yet your world has this prayer that summons the knight of death - those two ideas are in conflict with one another, I think.) is what I consider the biggest problem/stretch in here.

Any parent, upon learning their 10 year old has made a decision that will cost her her life, will do absolutely anything to change that, including putting themselves in the way so that their lives are sacrificed instead. So maybe a climax you can build to is the moment when the mom steps in front of the girl and reaches for the knight of death's hand. And then...you know, make your MCs reach even deeper, down deep into the depths of their souls, to the depths of their character to find more resolve, more guts, more whatever to make the even harder decision (in this case, it could be the mom making the decision to ultimately let the girl go after the knight of death tells her that going in her daughter's place will certainly kill all the people she just saved in the war, as well as her daughter and husband and other children and ...or something.)

Anyway - just some babbling ideas late - hope they're helpful!

Posted by JeanneT (Member # 5709) on :

I can't imagine being able to "put aside" my child's impending death. I might be able to function on some level at the same time for survival. Does that mean that no one could? I have no doubt that some could, but I think you'd have to make it someone pretty cold.

Take a look at say a book like A Game of Thrones in which Eddard Stark is on one hand trying to save the kingdom and on the other struggling to get his children to safety. I found that very believable. He never "put aside" that worry but functioned on both levels.