Hatrack River Writers Workshop: Show some respect

This is topic Show some respect in forum Open Discussions About Writing at Hatrack River Writers Workshop.

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Posted by wrenbird (Member # 3245) on :

There is a character in my book who is a respected Governor. His name is Governor Serry.
I am having a difficult time with referring to him in my text. I am writing in limited third POV, and the MC in a teenage boy.

Technically, the boy would never refer to him as just plain Serry right? But then I find it clunky to always say "Governor Serry said, Governor Serry walked to the door, etc."

I think OSC says that you should pick one way you are going to reffer to a character and stick with it. But what if than name is too long? I want to alternate between "Governor Serry" and just plain "Serry", and maybe even some times "the Governor." Can I?

And, a related question, why do I always feel the urge to run things by you guys here at Hatrack, even when I've made up my mind?

Posted by debhoag (Member # 5493) on :

Cause we're cool?

My experience is limited to nonfiction, publication-wise, so completely take me with a grain of salt, but I alter names in stories to show a variety of things - how other characters relate to the MC, changes in status, stuff like that. It's part of life that our names evolve as we do, I think that it can be part of good characterization to show that. IMHO. So what are you going to do?

[This message has been edited by debhoag (edited September 15, 2007).]

Posted by lehollis (Member # 2883) on :

I think it is possible for the MC to think of the governor different than he addresses him. In his mind and in narration, he could just think Serry. Out loud, he's smart enough to use proper etiquette and say, "Governor," or "Governor Serry."

What would he call the governor when speaking to his best friend, when no one else was around?

"So, I was talking to Serry today...."

"So, I was spoke to Governor Serry today...."

"So, I was talking to He-Who-Must-Blather today...."

Anyway, that might give you a clue about how he thinks in his head. Just a thought.

Best of luck!

[This message has been edited by lehollis (edited September 15, 2007).]

Posted by debhoag (Member # 5493) on :

hey, just a thought, how about Gov' in his head and Governor in public?

Posted by rstegman (Member # 3233) on :

There are books on writing formal letters which might help. There should also be books on proper ways to address important people. I saw them in the 60s as a kid, but have not seen them since.

Generally, if he is talking to the governer, he would use sir, or your honer, but most likely use yes sir, no sir.

When talking about him to someone who one must be respectful to the governer to, one might use the govener or his honer.

When talking to just a normal person, he would use Sarry said, or the govener said.

If he is talking to friends, he might use something less than complimentary when referring to the governer.

Posted by dee_boncci (Member # 2733) on :

Seems to me like your MC might just think of him as "the Governor" unless he knew him somehow before he became governor in which case an older form of address might prevail. Also, how adults and others around him refer to the governor would be important.

Posted by Robert Nowall (Member # 2764) on :

I'll put my weight behind having the characters think of him as "the governor," as in "the governor said," "the governor walked to the door," and so on. Capitalization of "governor" up to you. Only occasionally would you add "Governor Serry."

Try watching news. See how often they refer to "the President," or "President Bush," or, with some diehards, "Mister Bush."

Posted by lehollis (Member # 2883) on :

My understanding of the rules of capitals is you would capitalize governor if it was part of his title, as in "Governor Serry" or even "Hello, Governor", but not when used as, "the governor."

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/592/01/

http://www.getitwriteonline.com/archive/111201.htm

Posted by Rick Norwood (Member # 5604) on :

I agree that in direct address he uses "Sir."

If the governor is a populist, he might ask people to use his first name. "Call me Bill."

Your character would probably think of him as "the governor".

What he calls him when talking to other people will show, strongly, whether he respects him or not. If this changes during the story, it could be a powerful "show, don't tell" moment.

[This message has been edited by Rick Norwood (edited September 16, 2007).]

Posted by Avatar300 (Member # 1655) on :

I live in Minnesota and voted for our current governor, but I don't think of him in my head as "Governor Pawlenty." I think of him as Tim Pawlenty, or just Pawlenty.

Actually, if I did have the chance to speak with him I would probably call him Tim. But then, I don't have a lot of respect for politicians in general.

Posted by Tricia V (Member # 6324) on :

I think the plain last name is okay for narrative tags.