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Posted by Christine (Member # 1646) on :
 
In my WIP, the main character is listening to an audio diary left by another character. I want the full transcript of this recording to go in the novel, but I'm wondering how to format it. Mostly, there is only one character talking during the recording, but that is not always true. Mostly, there are no other noises but I do have a couple I want to add to the transcript. Since this is a diary, I initially wrote it that way, but now I'm thinking it needs more. Any thoughts?
 
Posted by Keeley (Member # 2088) on :
 
Do you mean using quotes in the text itself or are the diary entries separate from the narrative? Or is this part of the question you want answered?
 
Posted by Christine (Member # 1646) on :
 
At the moment, I have the recordings offset from the narrative using a hard line break.

Mostly, I want to know how to make the offset part look and feel like an adiot recording, complete with interruptions such as knocks on the door, moments of silence while the speaker collects his thoughts, etc.
 


Posted by HSO (Member # 2056) on :
 
I'm re-reading a book with a scene where a character is doing something similar, the difference being he was viewing a recording. Still, I think it may apply to your situation. It was handled with a sentence that said the recording began to play, a scene break, and then everything that happened in the recording was written as as normal dialogue and action *without* the listening/viewing character's thoughts in the way. Finally, a scene break took us back to the present, so to speak, with the character mulling over what he saw and heard very briefly. I think this format could work well for audio only. I don't even know if you need a scene break to pull it off effectively.

Of course, you could try for a transcript format, but that might be more than a little dry. Basically it's:

Speaker 1: I love dogs.

Speaker 2: Cats rock. Dogs are dumb.

A knock on the door.

Speaker 2: Get that, will you?

Speaker 1: Sure, dog-hater.

***

Anyway, since you're character is listening to a recording, then the transcript thing is probably not the way to go (I just wanted to see how it looked, actually...)


 


Posted by Christine (Member # 1646) on :
 
So then something like this:

Grace pressed play.

#

"I love dogs," speaker one said.

"Cats rock. Dogs are dumb," speaker two said.

There was the sound of a knock on the door.

"Get that, will you?" speaker two said.

"Sure, dog-hater."

#

Grace mulled over the import of that.
 


Posted by HSO (Member # 2056) on :
 
Yeah, that _could_ work, and that's how it was handled in the book I'm reading now. Whether this is what your story needs is another question. To be honest, I don't really know, but I wouldn't be offended by seeing it handled that way, nor would I be offended if handled differently sans scene breaks. Your call...?
 
Posted by Keeley (Member # 2088) on :
 
If you want large sections of the diary in the story, then I think HSO's idea is great. I've also seen books that handle huge amounts of info from diaries with written entries by setting the story the diary tells in a story of its own with a POV transition and a hard line break just to make it absolutely clear. It's pretty mundane, but it's never distanced me as a reader.

For example:

Ginny dried her eyes and sat down with Grandma Sally's journal.

#

Sally stared at the lights all around her. She didn't know there was this much electricity in the whole world and here it was at Coney Island, lighting up the gleeful chaos around her. She leaned in toward her latest beau.

[continue story of Karen then...]

#

Ginny heard a noise and closed the journal.

...

Like I said, pretty mundane, but I've seen it and it's worked for me as a reader.

Forgot to add that I think it could be adapted rather easily for audio. I guess that goes without saying, but anyway...

[This message has been edited by Keeley (edited April 26, 2006).]
 


Posted by Inkwell (Member # 1944) on :
 
A simple use of italicized text within a standard paragraph might work. Example:

-----------------------------------------------------------------
The record crackled as I set the turntable's badly worn needle on its grooved vynal surface.

"I love dogs," the first voice said.

"Cats rock. Dogs are dumb." another retorted, playfully. A knock sounded in the background with a muffled, scratchy thump.

"Get that, will you?" the second voice sighed.

"Sure, dog-hater." the first speaker shot back, his/her words drowned out by a grating hiss as the needle ran across a scar in the vynal.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Or something like that. With this format, you wouldn't necessarily have to use a hard line break, though that'd be up to you. This format is a lot like the transmission/phone call setup I've seen in many genres.


Inkwell
-----------------
"The difference between a writer and someone who says they want to write is merely the width of a postage stamp."
-Anonymous

[This message has been edited by Inkwell (edited April 26, 2006).]
 


Posted by TL 601 (Member # 2730) on :
 
TOM: Honey, I mean, come on, give me a break.

JUDY: I ought to break your legs.

TOM: You're not breaking anybody's legs. Look at you. You're
in a wheelchair.

JUDY: And I have great upper body strength.

TOM: Honey, come on.

JUDY: Why'd you have to sleep with her?

TOM: It was nice to sleep with, I mean, somebody intact.

JUDY: You're a monster. Like Hitler or Stalin.

TOM: Did they have wives who were lousy in the sack too? I'm kidding. Honey, give me a break.

[sound of knocking]

TOM: That's her.

JUDY: How do you know who it is?

TOM: I invited her here.

JUDY: I ought to slice out your guts. Don't you dare let her in.

TOM: But, I mean, she's your sister.

[long silence]

TOM: She doesn't know you know.
 


Posted by TL 601 (Member # 2730) on :
 
She smiled at him and broke his heart. He smiled back. That night he listened to her audio journal.

#

"It's.... What day is it? It's Tuesday. Dear Diary, I guess. It's Tuesday, April 25th and I'm, oh man, I'm all alone up here. Sometimes I get scared. Sometimes I think I hear people moving outside the cabin and I get scared, but I don't do anything. What could I do? I blow out the lamp and stay very still and hope it's not people, and if it is people, hope they ain't after me. It's probably just deer, or something. Maybe a fox. I don't know. But last night, I swear -- I swear I heard somebody talking. But it was just... I mean, if it was somebody talking, it sounded like he was talking to himself. I only heard one voice. Muffled. Couldn't make out the words. Freaks me out, let me change the subject for a minute. I'll come back to this.

"When I was a kid, I collected butterflies. My mom used to hassle me about this. One time she comes into my room and looks at all the butterflies I've got pinned to these boards.

"She goes, 'Sarah, can't you find something more productive to do with your time?'

"'Like what, mom, build a house?'

"'I worry about you, that's all.'

"'Worry about yourself.'"
 


Posted by Thieftess (Member # 1683) on :
 
Christine--

Format it just like you did in your...um...third post. You can write the dialogue like spoken dialogue or in play format (like TL601's first post) -- that's up to you as the author.

Don't worry about italicizing...just make sure that the section that is the recording is completely underlined.

Anything beyond that, a publisher will take care of for you.

~Alethea

[This message has been edited by Thieftess (edited April 26, 2006).]
 


Posted by TL 601 (Member # 2730) on :
 
Christine, have you read Interview With The Vampire?
 
Posted by Survivor (Member # 213) on :
 
Why not just retain the POV of the character listening to the recording?
 


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