1. How would you describe the feeling of failing at something you tried hard for?

2. If you've ever been picked on or heard it, WHat Have The bullies said?

3. When someones flirting with you, what do you think they would say?

4. In your experience, when someone (randomly) starts talking to you about their weekend and you guys aren't friends, what would be your response?
 

[This message has been edited by Kickle (edited March 15, 2006).]
 

1. I'm a perfectionist, so it means I feel completely lost and betrayed and either give up entirely and say it isn't worth my time or I focus all my energy on getting to the point where I won't fail.

2. This is a hard question, partly because there are many types of "bullies" in the world. I've encountered quite a lot of them. Here are some of the different types:

-When I was in grade school there were some girls who were on my school bus who were some of the nastiest people I've ever run into. I'm not sure why they decided to pick on me since I had never said anything to them and was several years older than them, but they did all the same. I took care of it in as mature a manner I could--getting them assigned to seats far away from me. But that's getting off track. They teased for any reason they could think of--the fact that I was staring silently out the window, the zit on my nose... they even started pulling my hair just to get a rise out of me.

-When I was in kindergarten I got teased a lot for picking my nose. That kind of bullying is more about teasing a person for doing something that is stupid and that you know not to do.

-Most bullies are just normal people. If you want to know how the majority of bullies act, just think about a time you yourself (assuming you are normal and not a perfect angel) did something mean that you regretted afterward.

3. Flirtation takes oh so many forms. Anything from complimenting in an obviously flirtatious way to innuendo to outright saying that you are attracted to a person. Some people get a lot of fun out of talking around a subject. For example, maybe you like a person and they ask you if you are interested in anyone and you start talking about the fact that you are and list a lot of great qualities about that person in such a way that the person might guess but won't be sure it's them. Anyway, flirtation is a bit of a game to some people. Lots of people flirt with friends (who know it doesn't mean anything) just for the practice.

4. I would be polite and listen but then get out of the conversation as quickly as I could. Well... depends on the person. I met one girl in a laundry room who just talked to everybody. That was simply the way she was. I didn't much mind talking with her.

I hope that helps. Obviously that's just my own experiences... and a lot of them from vague memory since they happened a long time ago.
 

2. Anything and everything.

3. Well, when someone's really flirting with me, they usually get around to talking about us going out together.

4. If someone starts talking to me in a friendly way, I provisionally assume that person knows me. If it becomes clear that such is not the case, then I quit trying to figure out who it is, but I don't see any reason to indicate this. Humans are humans, after all.
 

2. I prefer not to remember my time as a victim.

3. I'm an idiot when it comes to flirting...although about a year ago when this guy kept looking at me and then asked my husband if I was hiw wife, I thought he might have been flirting. (Was nice to know I still had it! )

4. I don't tend to say anything when random people start talking to me. I sit there uncomfortably and hope that we will soon be able to part. For example, if we're on a beus a wait impatiently for my stop. If we're out in public somewhere, say at the zoo, I might slip into a bathroom or make up some other reason why I had to get away.
 

I've never really given up until I was convinced that the goal was unachievable. By then, I was exhausted but content that I had given my best. Sometimes along the way, when it looks like its all falling apart it can be very hard, frustrating, especially when I cannot percieve the reason for the failure. I've never had something actually fail at that point though.

2. If you've ever been picked on or heard it, WHat Have The bullies said?

Bullies very rarely will pick on someone in private. They are performing for an audience. They will add commentary to what they are doing for the benefit of the audience. In general their comments will be the low end of the language and simple. Any comments towards the victim will be simple, degrading or questions likes "whatsa matter?" etc...

3. When someones flirting with you, what do you think they would say?

I flirt with body language and eye contact. What they say is no where near as important as how they move when they say it. Women flirting with me will lower their face and look through the top of their eyes, nearly peering through their eye lashes. They will reach out and touch my chest, even if its just a "pshaw" push at something humorous. If I respond positively, move closer, they will be more liberal with their hands, touching my shoulders, upper arms, grabbing my forearms to make a point when they talk.

Eye contact is the strongest flirt. Staring is scary, but getting eye contact for a moment, smiling and then turning your attention to something else for a moment, glancing back, smiling and then turning back to look at something else, will usually get someone to venture closer to talk. Once you are talking maintain eye contact more frequently.

To flirt with a woman, talk about her clothes and her hair.

To flirt with a man, talk about anything. Men are so much easier to flirt with.

4. In your experience, when someone (randomly) starts talking to you about their weekend and you guys aren't friends, what would be your response?

I'll respond in curt generalities.

Stranger: "Man, I nearly froze my butt of this morning"
Me: "Yep, its cold."

Stranger: "Friday, at last"
Me: "Yeah, really."

If you agree with them and don't make eye contact they shut up.

2. Depends on the age. Bullying to me implies children; any sort of insult. Depending on your world -- get creative? Yo' mama wears an ugly spacesuit?

3. When a woman flirts with me, she's just being friendly. Very friendly. No particular words. I'm supposed to figure it out and ask her out.

4. Depends on what the weekend was like. If it's boring as heck and I'm busy, I do what pantros said. If I'm not, I feel a little superior, but I listen. If it's more sophisticated, a conversation with a stranger, those can be fun; I listen without feeling superior.