Under no circumstances should you agree to write a Letter of Recommendation and then lace the letter with double entendre or sly pokes at the subject.
Seriously, if you can't be honestly praising of the person, tell them you can't write the letter.
Its a letter of recommendation. If you can't recommend them. Do not write it.
[This message has been edited by pantros (edited January 13, 2006).]
Sergeant Major Richard Kidd
U.S. Army
[This message has been edited by Zodiaxe (edited January 13, 2006).]
So, I guess the question is, if the situation were reversed, and you were asking them for this, and they had serious reversations, how would you like them to handle the situation?
Maybe it's best to be honest but tactful with the person. Start with commending thier strengths, then highlight your areas of concern. Then tell them that if these areas of concern were addressed to your
satification, perhaps you could reconsider sending the letter.
Again, speaking in universals, sometimes we don't know everything about a person's circumstances or what's going on inside. Sometimes a little digging helps.
A friend of mine was told to fire a lady who was constantly late to work, and when she got there, she was too distracted to perform. Now cooperate America would say, it's business, fire her! Instead, my friend dug a little, found that she had nobody to look after her children during the day, and that's the reason she was late and distracted. He did the right thing. He stood up to his superiors, found a way to resolve her situation, and she was a dynamite performer thereafter, loyal and grateful.
Of course, this person's situation might be very different. But it never hurts to apply to golden rule.
This is not a difficult question, IMHO. If you can't write a letter of *recommendation* then don't write a letter. You certainly cannot write a letter that is a lie, nor can you write a letter that discredits the subject under consideration.
Two additional things:
1. There are legal implications here. If you write a bad recommendation and a person does not get the job, however truly they deserve not to get the job, they can sue you and may win.
2. There are moral implications. You are under social contract not to lie. You are also under social contract to write the letter as one of recommendation, since that is what you were asked to do.
Of course, telling someone that you can't write them a letter because you don't honestly have anything nice to say about them can be...well, good luck!
Putting that aside, if you put "double meaning sentences, and frazes like 'He will be fired with enthusiasm.'" in your letter, you will only look like an idiot who is accidentally phrasing things ambiguously.
Just write the letter, say what you can that is both true and positive. The people that read those know how to notice what you fail to mention. But they won't respond as you wish to attempts at veiled invective, particularly if they realize you're doing it on purpose rather than because you don't know how to put a clear sentance together.
I kept it short, truthful and positive. He got the job, and truth told he appeared to fill the position well.
I do remember him asking me why the letter was so short. (A paragraph or two) and I now can't remember my answer.
[This message has been edited by hoptoad (edited January 16, 2006).]
to the question:
I think its pretty childish to sprinkle the letter with statements designed to damage this person's chance. Such a letter says more about the writer than the subject.
(Is it true in the US that by law when you do not get a job you can request fedback on the reasons? __ It is true here for public service jobs. I remember once asking for feedback and having it explained to me that I should remove XXX from my list of references because I was a contender for the position but when they had telephoned all the referees this particular one, who had written a great reference, had submarined me on the phone. -- It was a genuine kick in the guts. It made both him and I look like idiots.)
PS: HSO __ Which obvious question are you proposing?
[This message has been edited by hoptoad (edited January 16, 2006).]