In a flash piece I'm getting ready to sub-out, I have one point where the character makes a point of drawing out a word by enunciating every syllable.
This is the sentence as I currently have it:
quote:Well finally, f-i-n-a-l-l-y, I had enough.
I don't think I want to italicize it because that isn't the sort of emphasis I want. However, the way I have it now, I had one critiquer think that maybe my intention was that the character was spelling out the word -- which he isn't.
So, any thoughts on how to write an enunciated word?
Posted by Beth (Member # 2192) on :
Yeah, I'd assume from that that the character was spelling it out.
Fi-nal-ly would indicate to me that he's emphasizing every syllable.
Posted by MaryRobinette (Member # 1680) on :
You might try doing the same thing, but syllable breaks.
Ah-simulposting with Beth. It's going to be a good day.
[This message has been edited by MaryRobinette (edited August 29, 2005).]
Posted by mikemunsil (Member # 2109) on :
When people speak like that, they tend to emphasize or repeat one or more vowels, and enunciate the rest more clearly. So, I would type it as Fiii-nalyyy!
Posted by Robyn_Hood (Member # 2083) on :
I can always count on you guys.
I think I'll go with "fi-nal-ly". I had thought about this, but wasn't sure it would work. Seeing it actually typed out, I think that is the effect I'm after.
Posted by Christine (Member # 1646) on :
I might be a bit late with the chiming, but honestly, the syllable break version looks weird. Certainly, in the context of this conversation I understand what you're going for but if I saw that it print I'm not sure what I'd make of it simply because I've never seen it anywhere else. Dashes between letters have come to mean, time and again, that a character is spelling something. Dashes between syllables have no precedent and are therefore kind of meaningless.
I would probably just go with italics. Not everyone will pronounce it in their head the way you mean them to but on the other hand, it doesn't seem like the sort of thing that's terribly important to have an exact consensus on. The point isn't that he pronounces every syllable, but that *finally*...probably long after he should have quit...he had enough. I would imagine that it's the long after he should have quit part that's more important than the exact way the word comes out in my head.
Posted by JOHN (Member # 1343) on :
Yeah, dashes between syllables is what you're looking for. It's the same if somewhere using an injective, like "fan-freaking-tastic."
wow, I kept that PG, I'm so proud of myself.
JOHN!
Posted by tchernabyelo (Member # 2651) on :
I think I'd go with "Well, finally - finally! - I'd had enough." Technically, I suspect it might offend a grammar purist, but I have never been afraid of doing that if I believe the right effect is achieved.
Posted by Varishta (Member # 2789) on :
I'm a big fan of italics:
quote:Well, finally, finally I'd had enough.
Are you sure it won't work?
I like Tchernobyelo's suggestion, too.
P.S. The more you write "finally", the funnier it looks. Heh.
[This message has been edited by Varishta (edited August 29, 2005).]
[This message has been edited by Varishta (edited August 29, 2005).]
Posted by Robyn_Hood (Member # 2083) on :
The italics camp has me deeply considering it as an option. The reason I like the syllabic breakout, is because that is how you read it in a dictionary, which helps you with pronounciation and enunciation.
Still thinking about it.
Posted by Christine (Member # 1646) on :
If it helps -- I HATE italics in general and almost never recommend it to anyone unless I really, really mean it. Posted by Beth (Member # 2192) on :
I almost always avoid italics, too. Hate 'em.
Posted by Robyn_Hood (Member # 2083) on :
Italics in general tend to be over used, so I try to avoid them now when possible. Perhaps I'm letting my aversion cloud my judgement.
-------------
Well finally, fi-nal-ly, I had enough.
-------------
Well finally, finally, I had enough.
-------------
Posted by Miriel (Member # 2719) on :
It might help if you do something like...
"Fin-al-y," he said, emphasizing every sylabol, "And some other dialogue goes here."
Posted by Robyn_Hood (Member # 2083) on :
Unfortunately that won't work because this is a first-person, narrative piece. There is no dialogue and thus no dialogue tags.
Posted by Survivor (Member # 213) on :
I'd go with the syllable breaks. Italics simply won't indicate that the word should be have an exaggerated enunciation.
More importantly, I would change the line a bit.
quote:Well, finally, I'd had enough. Fi-nal-ly.
Whether or not you want the past perfect is up to you and your internal grammer nazi. But when you re-enunciate something (particularly the word "finally"), it seems natural to do that at the end of the statement. Try reading it out loud.
Posted by wbriggs (Member # 2267) on :
The syllable separation would make me stop and figure it out, which is likely not what you want.
I don't think it's that important that we know how she emphasizes "finally," merely that she emphasizes it. I'd use italics.
Posted by Survivor (Member # 213) on :
It's exactly what is wanted. It makes the reader read it syllable by syllable, just as italics force the reader to squint and tilt the book to the side.
Note that I said "just as". Not everyone will be slowed down by syllablization, just as not everyone is slowed down by italics. But a reader who can read syllablization easily already knows what it means.
Still, I'm not entirely in favor of the use of re-enunciation here. Even with the reorganization I did, simple stress feels more natural for this line.
It would be different if the line were "We can't put it back together, it was disintegrated. Dis-in-te-grat-ed." Then I'd totally go with the syllablization. But I don't think that it really adds anything to your line.
Posted by Jaina (Member # 2387) on :
Actually, I think tchernabyelo has a good idea: "Well, finally - finally! - I'd had enough." I don't think that would "offend a grammar purist" because it is seen in older English a lot (I'm thinking Shakespeare, here). Maybe it's obsolete, but not so much so that it's completely unusable.
And I realize that I'm kind of a day late and a dollar short in posting this, but I figured it was only one day and one dollar, so I wouldn't be out much. Make it a dollar and two cents, and we'll be set.
(Edit: all right, two days. It's only 10:45 here, I'm still on August 31.)
[This message has been edited by Jaina (edited September 01, 2005).]
Posted by franc li (Member # 3850) on :
The original "spelling" got an Aretha Franklin tune in my head: "F-I-N-A-LL-Y Find out what it means to me"
There are so many parts of that song where I can't tell what she is saying.
Posted by Robyn_Hood (Member # 2083) on :
Thanks for all the feedback. As of yesterday afternoon I have this one subbed out. I went with the syllabication because it seemed to work best for me.
Thanks again, I really do appreciate this.
(p.s. Jaina, because you put in your 2¢, and after the exchange rate, I think your only about 50¢ short )
