I never felt right doing this before. I always put character thoughts in third person POV, sort of rephrased as statements of fact, but then people accused me of not putting in enough character thoughts. Let me give you an example from my F%F story that prompted me to post this. By this point, I've clearly established Jessica as a third person limited POV character:
“I don’t like them,” Jessica said. At least, I don’t know them, which is just as bad. Of course, she would need to get to know them if she hoped to make any friends at school next month.
What I would usually do (before trying this little direct thought experiment) is this:
“I don’t like them,” Jessica said. At least, she didn't know them, which was just as bad. Of course, she would need to get to know them if she hoped to make any friends at school next month.
So, any thoughts? If I use internalized character thoughts to they have to be italicized? (ew ew ew ew) Can I just put them in there without having people think I'm going first person randomly on them? Or should I stick to the way I've always done it? Any thoughts?
quote:
"I don't like them," Jessica siad. At least, I don't know them, which is just as bad.Of course, she would need to get to know them...
Just my thoughts on it anyway.
What I think we're really looking for here is a very deep penetration into the character to where the thoughts almost feel like the narrator's -- or our own.
I've definitely seen a few great authors use this technique, but only sparingly and only when they've gotten deep into the POV character. The trick here is that if it's obvious that you're getting deep penetration, you've blown it. So...
“I don’t like them,” Jessica said. At least, she didn't know them, which was just as bad. Of course, she would need to get to know them if she hoped to make any friends at school next month.
Would take more than that one simple paragraph to get away with the "I" usage.
"I don't like them," Jessica said. At least, she didn't know them, which was just as bad. No yet, anyway. But I will need to get get to know them, she thought, if I hope to make any friends at all at school next month. So perhaps I should try to like them. I'll give it a shot, she decided.
I'm going to need all the friends I can get.
Poor example but it's the best I can do off-hand. If I do not have a very deep penetration into the POV character, no way can I get away with the use of "I" or other such words.
Incidentally, in answer to another thread, I think you can see from the above that contractions are appropriate if used in the proper context and voice.
[This message has been edited by rjzeller (edited August 18, 2004).]
[This message has been edited by rjzeller (edited August 18, 2004).]
quote:
“I don’t like them,” Jessica said. At least, I don’t know them, which is just as bad. Of course, she would need to get to know them if she hoped to make any friends at school next month.
I generally don't have a problem following a switch to characters' thoughts like that, but this one threw me.
The change immediately from the char's thoughts back to (yes, I know, technically it's not 'back to') 3rd POV snagged me. If you dropped the "Of course she would..." down to a new para, it would not have that jarring effect on me, and I would have no problem following the switches.
Even a single line of cushioning between the changes, imho, makes it much easier to follow.
Susan
[This message has been edited by Kolona (edited August 18, 2004).]
Personally, I don't know if I like using italics. I find it sometimes draws too much attention to something, however it seems to be a trend these days. I find I don't read much modern lit so I guess when I write, I prefer to use the older style.
Maybe I'm just spouting.
[slinking off the soap-box and quietly receding back into my hole]
One note....it is not "by the books" to use italics for internal character thoughts, it is just one side of one very polar debate in writing circles. I, personally, think italics are from the devil and should go back there, but that's why I tried to steer the conversation away from italics in the first place. Given that that's not going to happen...(that sort of thing)
Jon
And you don't know who it is, necessarily. Yet it works.
But that was a little different, so I passed it by. But then I read chapters two and three and suddenly...BAM (yeah, I like Emeril)...there it is! The term "I" used so deeply into the characters thoughts it almost feels like you're thinking those thoughts yourself. In this case, it's clearly still third person but he does it several times and (IMHO) it works splendidly.
So if you really want to know if you can get away with it, yes, you can. AT least, CArd can. I'm sure you could too. From your posts (Christine), I daresay you are no weak author yourself.
So get the book, read how he handles that POV and narrative style, and I think you'll see pretty clearly how it's done when it's done right.
...as I finish this I realize that you did make reference to OSC using this. Oh well, I'm leaving it here anyway. Others can at least see the book and have a solid example to go from.
What that means is that I looked at how he "jumped" into the "I-Mode", copied that technique several times, and slowly got used to it so I could use it by myself .