I'm having trouble deciding on a vernacular for mine. I can't decide between a more flowery speech (something like "Mine eyes doth watered at the titillating thought of her abundant beauty", only not so Shakesperean. And Amish. And not so sappy, either), or a more comfortable speech, like what you hear these days. "She was beautiful, yeah, but she wasn't without her flaws. She had a slight limp--I'd heard about her falling off her horse when she was eight--and a tendency to get down and dirty in her private vegetable garden. And she smelled. She grew her own green onions and ate it with everything. Don't like to admit it, but I won't lie."
Or something like that. (I almost went with a Brooklyn-ish ("'ey, you talkin' to me?", but I resisted. Thank God! )
Anyway, how do your characters talk? My story is set in a fantasy past (not like OSC, for those of you who scream "Plagiarist!". Mine's prehistoric.), and to tell the truth, I can't really decide. I read Crichton's Timeline, and his 1300-something characters said cannot and should not and would not, instead of using contractions, because apparently, contractions didn't exist in that time period. Not really the same, but I'm proving a point.
Who says people didn't talk like this? I mean, yeah, there's proper and there's street slang, but that's true of any time and place, fictional or not.
...
Uh, I think I just answered my own question.
Never mind, then.
:P
CVG
PS--I was going to start another thread, but it seemed a little arrogant of me to start two in a row. So I'm doing it here: I have to questions for all you hatrackers out there: What's your sex, and what's your age? I too often read a tidbit that implies a person's sex or age is the complete oppossite of what I'd imagined, and of what their name implies. For example, for the longest time, I'd been reading srhowen as "Sir Howen". Not true, I know, but still. Then I read she was a girl. I was bowled over! Same with JBShearer. I don't want to split hairs, but JB sounds like a boy's name.
These aren't the only two examples, but the two that come to mind first. You don't have to divulge this information (and some of you I know won't, but it's been eating at me, and I've been wondering, and I wouldn't be able to sleep if I didn't at least try.
(Actually there is a reason why: if there are two languages/variants of the language, one older than the other, I might translate that into archaic English).
I'm male, rapidly approaching 28.
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incidentally, even if contractions did not exist in the middle ages, something like them must have been in use to distinguish between the speech patterns of kings and peasants...
I haven't studied this in depth, so I could be mistaken, but my understanding is that in England, during the early middle-ages at least, the aristocracy spoke French, or some variant of it that came across with the Norman conquerors.
This explains why the motto of England ("Dieu et mon droit") is in French.
Wikipedia at least seems to agree with this understanding:
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In choosing a motto in French rather than English, it should be noted that the English language had only recently [in the early 15th century] replaced French as the language of the English ruling classes
From OSC's "How to Write Science Fiction and Fantasy" --
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However, there is a great danger in trying for elevated diction -- primarily because it is so easy to overdo it or do it very badly.
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If your characters are elevated, their language should be also; if they are common, then common language is appropriate. Furthermore, the language of the narrative should be a good match for the language in the dialogue.
He also recommends Ursula K. LeGuin and Gene Wolfe as the best examples of use of high language in speculative fiction.
Back to my own opinion...Your first example, what you called Shakespearian, was totally overdone and, I'm pretty sure, grammatically incorrect. (I'm not entirely sure, but that's why I don't use that kind of language. ) The second version, sounded like it was going to be elevated, but in a reasonable way. I think the "yeah" did it....but then you say "get down and dirty in her private..." and that made the bit disjointed and inconsistent.
Therefore, you should avoid any ultra contemporary usages. Words like "Phat" or "shizzle" or "groovy"...it doesn't matter what decade, if your prose is going to sound dated in ten years (or sounds dated now) then only use that prose to indicate comtemporary characters.
I'm male (is anyone surprised?), 50, with a big bald spot and a short beard that's turning gray around my mouth. Is that enough?
Female, 26 (for two and a half more weeks, anyway), long auburn hair that kinda pretty but in an unreliable sort of way, 5'6", hourglass figure, no comment on the thighs.
Wait, what am I thinking? This is the internet....I'm female, 22, blonde hair, blue eyes, 5'10", legs to die for, and a perfectly flat stomach.
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Wait, what am I thinking? This is the internet....I'm female, 22, blonde hair, blue eyes, 5'10", legs to die for, and a perfectly flat stomach.
ROTFLMAO
In this case, I'm 6'4 with full dirty-blond hair that isn't thinning at the temples despite the fact that I'm only 20, 155 lbs, and I run 5 miles everyday without fail.
Uh...yeah.
CVG
Another thing to consider is that, if in fact there were no contractions, might they have had other forms of the word to connote different meanings? As in Latin verb forms, each form of the verb is, in essence, a combination of two words as in Ceasar's famous saying: Veni, Vidi, Vici. I came, I saw, I conquered. My characters use contractions unless they are speaking in a formal setting and as due their station.
If character is important, I often think it is difficult to fully sympathize with or become immersed in a character who constantly speaks in formal tones. If the character is not as important as, say, the milieu (I'm studying OSC's Ch & V right now!) then more formal language might be just what you want to keep that character from overtaking the scenery.
female, 37
There are enough synonyms in the English language for what you want to say that you can do a lot with the words you have your characters use when they speak.
Oh, and I'm female (remember, I'm SHE WHO MUST BE OBEYED), and the mother of three twenty-somethings. (If we're going to get into physical descriptions, I'm 6 feet tall and I've been releasing my inner redhead for over a year now.)
I hope my gender is obvious, and if you think I'm telling you my age, you've got another thing comin', buddy!
Okay. I'm 29-- no, really! I'm telling the truth! (And I refuse to be 30!
)
For the language, you know what to do.