This is topic Time Elaspe in forum Open Discussions About Writing at Hatrack River Writers Workshop.


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Posted by JOHN (Member # 1343) on :
 
I'm finishing up my story, but to get from Kingdom C to Island B they have to charter a boat. I hate boat scenes in fantasy novels. To me there slow and a break in the action, and the never changing setting is a minor annoyance. Besides, you can only do so much to create conflict, sea monster, bad guy uses magic to make tidal wave, mutiny, attempted rape of female lead...whatever it's all been done.

So, with this said I plan on glossing over the meat of the boat ride. I show them charter the boat, the first day on the boat, then I kinda give a vague despcription of what's been happening, which isn't hard because it's all the same thing.

Now, here's the thing. It's my world so the boat ride can take as long as I want it to, but I was thinking about 3 weeks or so, but I was also toying with the idea of going a little longer I don't know maybe closer to a month or more.

How much time can be elasped without the readers feeling cheated?
 


Posted by Hildy9595 (Member # 1489) on :
 
Personal opinion, from a reader's perspective? Any amount of time, so long as there is nothing important that I need to know as a reader happening during that time. If the only point of the boat ride is to get from Point A to B, then as long as you tell me, "They took a boat ride that lasted X time to get to the kingdom," then I would be satisfied. In fact, I'd thank you for not boring me for pages on end with descriptions of seasick passengers and/or the glory of the sea while the plot stagnates.
 
Posted by PaganQuaker (Member # 1205) on :
 
Don't forget shrieking eels. Those are always a good way to spice up boat rides. Oh, and mysterious men in black following the boat.

But seriously: My feeling is that you can condense any amount of time into very little text if nothing important does or should happen during that time. I think it helps to give some warning that this is going to happen beforehand if you're condensing it, but this might be as simple as "Glifarandir knew the boat ride would be long, and that the most exciting thing that would happen would be guessing when it would rain next."

(My two cents.)

Luc
 


Posted by JOHN (Member # 1343) on :
 
Hot damn---I love getting advice from people that agree with me!!!!!

I thinking not more than a month or a month and a half time lapse. I’m also glad I’m not the only one that finds the boat scenes a little tiring. I did the seasick thing their first day onboard. I tried to be different and fairly humorous with it though, The female lead ends up being sick and she’s been on far more ocean trips than the male protagonist---who hasn’t been on any. (I’d admit that to an extent I do try to emulate David Eddings, and his knack for innocent humor. Even when it’s sexual and fairly sordid, Eddings still brings that innocence to it.) It’s just something that happened the first day out. I’m not reinventing the wheel or anything, but it’s tolerable, and might get a chuckle or two.

I’ve got a good transition too. The male lead is excited to be on the boat, and likes the sea air, and the rhythmic rocking, the waves crashing, and getting to spend time with the female protagonist who he’s slowly falling in love with. By the time they’re about to reach their destination he hates everything about the boat, the sea, and everything that comes along with it, and wants to strangle the female lead. Ok, it comes off a lot better in the story, and again, I’m not reinventing the wheel. But, it’s not bad as far as transitions go.


JOHN!

[This message has been edited by JOHN (edited November 15, 2002).]
 


Posted by Hildy9595 (Member # 1489) on :
 
How about shrieking eels dressed in black suits following the boat? Now that hasn't been done before

Just messing with you. Sounds like you've got everything under control, John!
 


Posted by Kolona (Member # 1438) on :
 
How about misunderstood shrieking eels dressed in black suits following the boat, wanting only to find a way home?
 
Posted by Survivor (Member # 213) on :
 
John,

I actually think that the idea in your last post--of using the time on the boat as a time of enforced inaction that dramatically alters the relationship between the two lead characters--has a lot more merit than skipping the boat trip entirely.

If they went into cryogenic storage for the boat trip, then that would be different. But the first few days on the boat will be a time of character stress, since the...well, you know, what you mentioned before.

What I suggest is that you stay with them until their situation aboard reaches some sort of stability, such that each day becomes routine, then skip to the end of the trip and sum up the routine and the characters' feelings about it (was it a peaceful interlude, or a hellish, unending nightmare?).

By the way, don't be afraid to reinvent the wheel, Goodyear et al have made several fortunes doing just that--certainly enough to support any number of starving artists in the style to which they have become accustomed
 


Posted by Doc Brown (Member # 1118) on :
 
In general, readers feel cheated if something changes in the characters during a time lapse. If nothing has happened nothing need to be told. If a little has happened then a little needs to be told. In any case, the length of time skipped is irrelevant.

It sounds to me like your characters do go through a little change during the journey; the male lead's outlook does a complete 180 degree turn. IMO you should show this. It doesn't need to be a deep-penetration narrative of the whole journey. It could be a synopsys or refelective conversation just as they reach the island. Perhaps the male lead overhears two deck hands talking about his transformation and reacts (disbelief, offense, introspection, humility, whatever you like).

A paragraph or two should do it. If you don't like the way they work out, you can cut them later.
 


Posted by JOHN (Member # 1343) on :
 
the main character's outlook isn't changed. Have you ever spent a lot of time in a confined area with somebody? No matter if it's you wife, brother, mother, father, pastor, girlfriend, baby's mama, whoever you want to strangle them. It's a mild annoyance they both feel, but once they're back in the open air and off the boat they can stand the sight of one another again.

JOHN!
 




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