Restless and determined, I decided to run up another mountain. Have to get rid of the energy, I speed north to Mount Major, a little mountain with a 2.5 mile trail and 1000 ft of elevation gain. I arrive and the parking lot is filled with others with the same idea—without the running bit. Their hike will be a leisurely stroll up a little mountain, while my hike will be a frenetic rush to the top.
In fifteen minutes, I’m nearly at the top. I get my first views of Lake Winnipesaukee below, the lake where I grew up. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I decide to drive to my father’s home when I’ve finished my jaunt up the mountain. I see the islands where I sailed my little Sunfish in the choppy bays. Fighting the wind and water, dodging the speedboats, thrown everywhere, the water equivalent to my battle with my moods. A battle the moods are winning as I continue my ascent. Among some trees crowded together like people waiting for a train, I stop while a descending hiker, obviously an old pro, checks in with me. He sees my red, sweaty face and asks if I’m okay.
Sure, I’m fine. I usually hike in the White Mountains.
You’re flying up the mountain.
My body doesn’t know a slow speed. This is my usual pace.
When did you leave the trailhead?
Fifteen minutes ago.
Another five or ten minutes and you’ll be at the top at your pace.
Thanks.
Have a good day.
He continues down the trail and I continue up. Another five minutes and I start to realize I’m nearly to the top. I look back from where I was and don’t quite register the steepness of the trail. I begin the scramble to the summit cone, climbing up the steep rocks with abandon, ignoring the safer established routes because they’re just plain boring.
A tree mimics how I feel: alone and battered, I don’t want to go back down the mountain. I’d rather stay in the cool wind on the top of the hill, watching everything from the safe spot where no one can reach me. But in reality, things are reaching out to the lonely tree. Trapped in the fight, the tree doesn’t see it. I don’t see my help. The tall trees have friends supporting them—I do as well, so I run up mountains, away from them.
The trail continues up. And twenty-five minutes from when I left the parking lot, I reach the summit. Only the sky above me. I can’t run any further, I’m trapped at the top, fighting against going down. It’s all crooked and nothing makes any sense anymore. My thoughts don’t connect, they’re zooming out of my head in every direction.
You can’t run away from those that care about you. The most helping and useful are more stubborn than you are. When you stop caring and start running, they chase you down and tackle you with words and reason until you are well.
I thank my friends.
I thank Hatrack.
I want to give a gift in return. This is my gift, for whomever is willing to take up on it. My gallery is open to you. Pick out your favorite photo, email me with your choice and address, and I will sent you an 8x10 enlargement.
This is my thanks.
Posted by Zevlag (Member # 1405) on :
Mack, that is so cool!
I have truly enjoyed having you here. I look forward to seeing you at Wenchcon. I will save you the postage and let you hand deliver my enlargement Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
Very cool, mack!
Congrats on 7000 too!
Posted by jexx (Member # 3450) on :
mack, Sometimes I feel very boring. I feel as if I have to live vicariously through my friends. All of the drama: none of the pain. Well, with you, some of the pain. I'm glad you are becoming a little more boring. Qualifier alert! Hehe. I love this post. It makes me happy. It makes me a little scared, too, that you had to live through it. I love you, in that platonic *firm touch* way. *grin* PS--I want an 8x10 of 'summit goodness', the picture with your hand in it. It's shattering.
[ December 28, 2003, 12:51 AM: Message edited by: jexx ]
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
Jamie, those are beautiful. I love your photos, and I have always loved your posts. Thanks for this landmark and for being here. Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Thanks to those so far.
Just so you know, not JUST the gallery I showed in the story, but any of the photos at MadOwl.
Posted by Narnia (Member # 1071) on :
Mack, you don't have to send me one, but I want you to know how much I love your pictures. I've perused the whole album and your mountain shots are some of my favorites.
Thank you for sharing them, you're really talented. Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
That was a lovely landmark, mack. As always, I love your pictures -- and my computer has new wallpaper.
Consider yourself hugged -- unless that makes you feel like *bite*ing. In which case, nevermind! *backs away quickly, smiles nervously*
Posted by Lalo (Member # 3772) on :
quote:I look forward to seeing you at Wenchcon. I will save you the postage and let you hand deliver my enlargement
Zev, you're a pretty horny guy when it comes to WenchCon, aren't you? First you propose a foursome with Becky, and now this?
Posted by larisse (Member # 2221) on :
Mack,
That was frenetic and beautiful. Reading your post was like listening to Flight of the Bumblebee. Great 7000th post!
Hmmm... just one photo, eh. This might get difficult.
Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
I love the artistic pathos. Thank you for saying that. And being you.
Wow Mack. Just wow. You're an amazing person and I feel honored to have met you and be given a look into your life.
Your photoraphy is amazing! After much deliberation, I think I like this one the best.
Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
Love you, Jamie. Posted by fiazko (Member # 5812) on :
Lake Winnepesaukee! I've been there! My family had a cottage in NH that we went to every summer when I was little, and we would go swimming somewhere on Winnepesaukee where the water was so clear you could see the ripples in the sand. It's so exciting to hear about it and see pictures. Plus, I love the way you delivered your landmark, Mack. I'll email you with my favorite.
Posted by Leonide (Member # 4157) on :
jamie, you're the bestest.
Posted by Pepek (Member # 3773) on :
But your shadow can run away from you.. Just ask Pan.
~Sir Montague
Posted by Kasie H (Member # 2120) on :
Wow....
That's all I got.
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
Mack, I respect you. And I am wowed by your inventive, wonderful landmark. But the story and the pictures... It's too much. I thank you for giving it to us. (smiles) But I am too selfishly entranced by your pictures not to request one. Please forgive me for that.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Also wanted to give ya'll a heads up: I'm not charging for the photos. Posted by BannaOj (Member # 3206) on :
Wow. I love ya Mack. You are awesome.
AJ
Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
Hey Mack, welcome down from the mountain.
Your words and your photo's are wonderful.
Have you ever considered a photo-book? "Prose From My Shadow's Cry" by Mack.
I'd buy it for my coffee table.
Posted by eslaine (Member # 5433) on :
What great photos. Thanks for the 7,000!
Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
Posted by Koga (Member # 5646) on :
Those photos are great, and for some reason made me think what cool sights Superman would see while doing all that flying around the world. (my mind makes some strange strides between subjects)
Congradulations on 7,000 posts
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
A photo book would require a publisher.
Anyone else? I'm putting stuff together in the next couple days.
Posted by jexx (Member # 3450) on :
First of all: what are you doing up this late?
Second of all: no, I will not go on AIM, I am going to bed.
Third of all: why not find a publisher? *grin* I would definitely buy your book, as long as you signed it, "To jexx: your qualifiers are not TOO annoying. Love, mack"
*evil grin*
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
I'll do that if you find me a publisher. Posted by deerpark27 (Member # 2787) on :
Dear Friend,
I am a former genral in the Canadian Armed forces, eh, who has escaped the recent conflicts with two hundreds million dollars (Cdn) and twelve Skyhawk helicopters--I am at present sitting in one, the other eleven have been stored in Newfundland--the bombs are falling now. I need a secured bank account in a developed nation in which to deposit this money (and some safety-deposit boxes for the Skyhawks). If you will only--wjhat is that smoke coming out of the turret?--if you will, dear friend, only respond with your persoanl account number I will condider sharing 1% (Cdn) of this koney with you. That is.......200 dollars (Cdn), for only your secured bank account number (and the safety-deposit boxes)--is that oil pressure gauge correct?--then fix it you fool!, eh. I eagerly await your prompt response--Mayday!
Genral Lance "Contiki" Bay
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Posted by kwsni (Member # 1831) on :
Mack, you're the coolest.
Ni!
Posted by larisse (Member # 2221) on :
Mack,
I am still looking. This is hard, you know. There can be only one. Hmmmmm... not so inticing when you'd like more than one, but I am not greedy just indecisive at the moment.
A suggestion. In my perusal of Cafepress, while making the Wenchcon T-shirt site, I noticed that they do create books. They ask you to upload a pdf of the document or work (very specific dimensions that are mentioned on the site) and also upload any cover graphics you would like. They have several options for binding. However, I am not sure how they would deal with photographs so that might require some more research.
Also, do a Google search for self-publishing sites. I'd buy your book.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
A few people mentioned to me that I should have a place on my site where you can pick out photos and sizes for purchase. Should I do this?
I'll look into the cafepress thing. Thanks for the heads-up Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Hmmm. What I've got in my own house for my printing and enlarging is a top of the line photographic quality printer (it's great, the images come out as if I'd enlarged them at a lab) and I found a place that makes photographic printer paper that's the same brand/weight as I use in the darkroom. So here, I have the capability to make 4x6 and 8x10 prints.
Otherwise, I'd have to outsource. Cafepress could allow me to do posters, calendars, greeting cards and such.
Any ideas on what I should go with on that? Think it's worth it?
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
...me thinking more...for books, there's a couple I could do right off. Dan's idea was great about running from my shadow and probably doing a outdoors one from all my hiking. The other, I STILL have to finish the carpetbagger book. It would be much more effective, I think, with more photos than text...like a photojournalistic take.
Hmmmmm.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
So, basically I'm just talking to myself. www.lulu.com has some pretty neat options and low costs. With the way my "regular" career is going, looks like I probably won't find a publisher of my own. But I DO want to share my work with folks, it's better than sitting in a drawer or on my computer. With this site, I could allow people to buy copies of my book(s) on-demand.
How cool. Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
That would be very cool.
Keep in mind that your costs per print may be considerably higher than cafepress' cost to you for the same prints. You might want to figure out how much it costs you per print using your equipment and supplies.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Yeah, they have those poster options.
I could use lulu for the books and cafepress for the rest.
You think?
(And turn on your AIM;))
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Sounds like a definite plan. Posted by saxon75 (Member # 4589) on :
mack,
Your photos always remind me how beautiful the world is. It makes me want to dust off my own camera and go out and capture some beauty of my own.
Thanks for the landmark.
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
Great post; I'm glad you're here!
Every time I happen by your site I see something powerful. Give me some time to pick one out and I might just take you up on that offer!
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Will do Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Okay, I sent out nine photo mailers today for folks.
Abby, Jen, Kara, Kira, Dan, Rivka, Jen, Adrian, and Kate, start looking for packages.
Posted by jexx (Member # 3450) on :
Yay! I can't wait!
*waits*
Posted by larisse (Member # 2221) on :
Darn it! I missed out. That'll teach me to be so damn indecisive. Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
That's the first wave, dear. You can still request. Posted by sarahdipity (Member # 3254) on :
So, I have to admit that I'm fascinated by Depth of Field #2. THere's just something about all 3 of the students that amuses me. I'd love to have that one to hang above my desk.
Posted by MaydayDesiax (Member # 5012) on :
These are just amazing and stunning. Bravo! Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
sarahdipity, send me your address.
mayday, I got yours.
*waiting for larisse's*
Posted by MaydayDesiax (Member # 5012) on :
Make sure you sign all your pictures! We'll all have mack's signature pictures before she gets famous! We'll all be rich! Posted by celia60 (Member # 2039) on :
wow, this is what i get for leaving town. lovely photos, mack. Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
YAY! It came! And it's even more gorgeous in vibrant 3-d! Um, well, I suppose it's still 2-d, but you know what I mean.
(((((mack))))) Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Evil One, would you like a photograph?
Posted by jexx (Member # 3450) on :
Yay! I got mine today, too.
Now I have to find frames.
Yay! Shopping!
You were right, mack, the cemetary one is even more striking on the photo paper. Even Christopher was impressed. hehe.
Yes, I will get on AIM.
Yes, right now.
Posted by Leonide (Member # 4157) on :
Ooh, mack, i'm really excited!
*bounces around in happy anticipation*
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
I know the name Winnipesaukee from somewhere. Is it where "What about Bob" or some movie like that is set? It's really bothering me.
P.S. I like tall lonely tree, with the relative values. Is it color or B&W?
[ January 12, 2004, 11:40 PM: Message edited by: pooka ]
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
Link me and I'll tell you.
And yes, What About Bob was primarily set at Lake Winnipesaukee. But it wasn't FILMED there. Posted by larisse (Member # 2221) on :
Okie dokie... I sent in my request. That was not an easy decision mind you. But, I am happy with it.
Thanks, Mack.
*sits back and watches her mailbox patiently*
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
YAY! It came!
(beams at it for a while)
What great print quality, mack! Do you have a Canon? I'm uber impressed and excited... I need to get a frame somehow now... Hmmm... ^_^ (happy)
Posted by Javert Hugo (Member # 3980) on :
Yay! Mine came!
And I love it. *beams*
Cemetary one? Where is that?
Mack, you need a search feature on your site. Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
My wife asked me last night as she brought in the mail, "Dan, who do you know from New Hampshire?"
It took me a minute, but then I thought--Its HERE!
It was.
Thanks Mack. I will be hanging it in my den soon.
Posted by mackillian (Member # 586) on :
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
![[Confused]](confused.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[Hat]](graemlins/hat.gif)
![[Mad]](mad.gif)