One of my friends posted this on FB today. I thought it was funny.
So.....
[ January 09, 2013, 01:10 PM: Message edited by: brojack17 ]
Posted by Stone_Wolf_ (Member # 8299) on :
Defense against the dark arts.
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
English. It's "Hogwarts", no apostrophe. There was no Mr Hogwart who started a school.
Posted by Raymond Arnold (Member # 11712) on :
That I'm qualified for? Muggle Studies.
It's unclear if Hogwarts has a Bardic Arts class.
Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
Probably DATDA or maybe Divination under the fanon hypothesis that whats her face is just really really bad at it 99% of the time and that its possible to glean some good information from it with the right approach and mindset.
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
I doubt it would matter since Professor Binns apparently has tenure until the end of time, but I would totally teach History of Magic.
Posted by brojack17 (Member # 9189) on :
quote:Originally posted by King of Men: English. It's "Hogwarts", no apostrophe. There was no Mr Hogwart who started a school.
Thanks. I just copied from FB and didn't notice. Fixed.
Posted by brojack17 (Member # 9189) on :
Here were a couple of my favorites from his FB post: Quidditch handicapping IT Security: Defense Against the Dark Arts Tarot Poker & Bridge
Posted by Parkour (Member # 12078) on :
Me: appalomancy Sam k: defense against the contemporary arts Tetris: deus ex machinomancy Ray: numismatism and mastication
Posted by Stephan (Member # 7549) on :
I would want to teach Apparation. Misbehave in my class and you never come back.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote:Originally posted by Stephan: I would want to teach Apparation. Misbehave in my class and you never come back.
Posted by umberhulk (Member # 11788) on :
P.E Math.
Posted by AchillesHeel (Member # 11736) on :
Physical self defense and battlefield tactics.
Did you see that last movie? are there no wizard generals?
Posted by Emreecheek (Member # 12082) on :
Cultural Anthropology. We could discuss the cultural appropriation humans practiced with goblins, and the exploitation humans partook of with house elves.
Posted by umberhulk (Member # 11788) on :
quote:Originally posted by AchillesHeel: Physical self defense and battlefield tactics.
Did you see that last movie? are there no wizard generals?
Ever have any dream of defeating voldemort, as yourself, with a handgun? I have.
"Smile you son of a"
"Yippie Kai Yay, moth--"
Posted by Mr. Y (Member # 11590) on :
Escapism. Should come in handy when stumbling across some of nastier critters and/or persons.
Posted by Dan_Frank (Member # 8488) on :
quote:Originally posted by Emreecheek: Cultural Anthropology. We could discuss the cultural appropriation humans practiced with goblins, and the exploitation humans partook of with house elves.
*Groan*
You are the AT&T of people.
Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
I like how in the Nasuverse (Fate/Stay Night, Fate/Zero, Tsukihime, etc) Wizards actually regularly learn martial arts just because of some of those weaknesses if someone manages to get too close.
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
Care of Magical Creatures Posted by umberhulk (Member # 11788) on :
Marksmanship
Posted by Emreecheek (Member # 12082) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dan_Frank:
quote:Originally posted by Emreecheek: Cultural Anthropology. We could discuss the cultural appropriation humans practiced with goblins, and the exploitation humans partook of with house elves.
*Groan*
You are the AT&T of people.
Your face is the AT&T of faces.
Posted by scifibum (Member # 7625) on :
Procrastinancy. Extra fancy.
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dan_Frank:
quote:Originally posted by Emreecheek: Cultural Anthropology. We could discuss the cultural appropriation humans practiced with goblins, and the exploitation humans partook of with house elves.
*Groan*
You are the AT&T of people.
He wants more bars in more places?
Posted by Szymon (Member # 7103) on :
Psychology of Death: How does death really feel like. Class includes: Dead People Paintings Interview, Ghost Interviews (as well as their death experiences trapped in a Pensieve), Priori Incantatem (right?) Dead People Interview, Resurrection Stone and How to Use It. Last class: Basics of Good Wizarding PR: Jesus Christ of Nazaret and How To Turn a Major Wizarding Secrecy Violation into a Muggle-Controlling Phenomenon.
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
History of the Theory and Use of Magic
How the understanding and use of magic has changed over the ages. Slightly different from history in that it has more of a theoretical side. I guess it's the advanced version of what Professor Binns teaches "until the end of time".
Posted by Dan_Frank (Member # 8488) on :
quote:Originally posted by Lyrhawn:
quote:Originally posted by Dan_Frank:
quote:Originally posted by Emreecheek: Cultural Anthropology. We could discuss the cultural appropriation humans practiced with goblins, and the exploitation humans partook of with house elves.
*Groan*
You are the AT&T of people.
He wants more bars in more places?
You need to watch Community, Lyr.
Maybe this this will clear things up.
Posted by C3PO the Dragon Slayer (Member # 10416) on :
I'd teach Spell Design. That has to be a field; who came up with all those spells?
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
quote:Originally posted by scifibum: Procrastinancy. Extra fancy.
I think this is an absolutely necessary class. It's amazing how many timely do-gooders don't grasp that waiting until the last minute allows one to explode with a level of power of which they hadn't previously imagined themselves capable. Similar to Tantra.
ETA: Sorry KoM. I meant "good-dooders."
Posted by Darth_Mauve (Member # 4709) on :
Death Avoidance/First Aid
Since, just about everything they do can and routinely does lead to death, disfigurement, pain, and mental anguish--a class teaching emergency magical first-aid, how not to inhale caustic fumes in potions class, how to fall safely--even from a speeding death trap called a broom, etc. would be a necessity.
Posted by Ron Lambert (Member # 2872) on :
Tasteful Attire--since no one in the wizarding world seems to have a clue. And maybe a special remedial personal grooming class for Snape.
Posted by AchillesHeel (Member # 11736) on :
Transportational Inquiry. Less a class more like an upper year workshop.
Because there must be a way to enchant something other than a broom (or an ugly old car) to fly.
Posted by Ron Lambert (Member # 2872) on :
And don't forget Hagrid's ridiculous flying motorcycle, with and without rocket assist.
Voldemort did not need a broom to fly. Some of the Deatheaters like Belatrix were able to fly without brooms, as well. That sounds like the best way to go.
One advantage of the flying Anglia, though, is that it would keep the wind out of your face, so you could go faster.
Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
I think I would prefer to teach at an affiliated university, rather than effectively teaching middle or high school level classes at Hogwarts itself. I would teach a subset of these classes:
AMS101: Introduction to Applied Magical Science Mathematical limits of and exceptions to Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration.
AMS201: Applied Magical Science Ineteraction between GLET and thermodynamics: funadamentals of heat, momentum, and mass transfer effected through magical means.
AMS211: Automation of Magical Systems Laplace transforms and process control algorithms adapted for magical systems. Effects of time-altering magic on feedback and feedforward controllers.
AMS221: Statistics for Wizards and Witches Statistical design and analysis of magical experiments. Statistical inference, hypothesis testing, and significance.
AMS331: Industrial Magic Applications in manufacturing, statistical quality control in magical mass production.
AMS301: Magical Thermodynamics Applications of GLET-PR and GLET-Gibbs equations to chemical separation and reaction systems.
Posted by Stone_Wolf_ (Member # 8299) on :
Wow twinky...that is possibly the most nerdy thing I've ever read, and I once read a Buffy novel.
Posted by Fuzzy (Member # 12928) on :
Physics or computer science, because I'm a muggle and proud of it.
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