Four months ago I celebrated my 20th anniversary. That is 20 years married to the same person.
I was only 25 when I got married. Almost half of my life has spent sharing a bed with the same person.
Two months ago I celebrated my 45th anniversary.
Double that and you get 90 years--thats good for aging, so I can guess I'm about at the half way point in my life.
I got a portable radio for my birthday. I picked it out myself, so I can listen to the tunes while working in the yard.
Just like my Dad.
I've become my Dad. My old Dad.
Three weeks ago my younger brother became a Grand-Father.
I am a great uncle, but more shocking, someone younger than me, my little bro, the little brat who used to tag along as I did big-boy stuff, is now a grandpa.
This piling up of old age issues can only mean one thing. I should have, no.. I deserve... no... I DEMAND MY MID-LIFE CRISIS!!!
And I want it now!!!!!!!
What do I want?
Its traditional that I get a new sports car or motorcycle. But I'm not much of a car guy.
Its traditional that I find some bleach blonde fluzy to have a wild affair with. I love the romantic sound of a "wild affair."
But I don't want to break the heart of my wife. I love her.
And I am happy with her.
And besides, I am a balding, pudgy, middleaged dude without a large bank roll or great wardrobe. Finding a willing affair partner without resorting to credit cards or side arms is just not worth the effort.
I could have that wild affair with my wife but she wants to be home in time for her Spades and Canasta Games on Yahoo.
Scheduling even an encounter, between the demands of our son, our pets, our parents, and our needs is, well, difficult.
My job is very satisfying, if not making me rich. There is even that potential if I could pull off some hard work and lucky breaks. Yet delving into a work-a-holic is just not the Mid-Life Crisis I had in mind.
Unless anyone else has any ideas, I think I will delve into my writing instead. This weekend I took the initiative and wrote a script for a Murder Mystery my company was considering doing. Its not great, but its done and that felt good.
Tonight I move on to my next project. I have several started, but want to actually finish one. Which sound best to you--hence most popular and most sellable.
1) Immorte De' Arthur--the story of King Arthur imprisoned in Avalon since the fall of Camelot.
2) Where's The Magic--Young man demands from his used bookstore some good book that has the magic in it he remembered reading as a child. He ends up with a book of magic, and a quest to become the Arch Mage.
3) Dar Jon--A series of high-fantasy books I've had scripted out in my head for decades. I started when I was twelve.
4) Breeding--Cloning taken to a logical conclusion that I haven't seen approached before. The nobles on planet Delcia want a favor from the Imperium of Man. Alexander Han-Tolstoy is of age to choose his career path. The Serf's of Delcia want to survive. Johnathon Smythe, agent of the Impress, wants the truth. Nobody is going to be happy.
5) The Great Le'Fon Must Die. Why would creatures of darkness put a bounty on Le'Fon. He is a man of mystical power, but he prefers to be a birthday magician. The art of trickery is much more exciting to him than the Craft. Modern-fantasy is a silly world.
6) Fanticide: The book I have the most done with. The forces of 5 great Science Fiction Empires gather together to invade one lone planet--where gods, magic, and fantasy run free. Who is going to win?
Each of these call to me. Where should I begin.
Or do you have another Mid Life Crisis Event I can have instead?
Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
You forgot Mid Life Crisis hobby adoption. My uncles both suddenly became obsessed with horse back riding. They purchased horses, trailers, and regularly attend shows now.
You could take up something like that.
Posted by Samprimary (Member # 8561) on :
Look, my favorite mid life crisis is either
1. the convertible, or 2. the motorcycle
I would go with the convertible as they are usually a more shelf-stable investment as far as mid life crisisesessseses go; the motorcycles are usually wildly objected to and tend to be sold off at fire sale prices the first time a new MLC owner accidentally dumps and skins their arms off because they bought a hog with a dry weight well above what they can handle comfortably.
But the convertible! Man, it's sweet sailing. You have the bald spot, but what good is it to you if you can't show it off?
Or of course there is always education, like learning another language. That is for wusses. Do not do that.
Posted by MattP (Member # 10495) on :
Remote control airplanes. Reef aquariums. Model trains. Cooking. Grilling. Home theater. Camping/hiking/fishing. Boating. Biking. Ballroom dance. Art. Guns.
Posted by Darth_Mauve (Member # 4709) on :
BBlade--Hobby Adoption--in the past two years I've become a professional Magician. Does that count?
Samp--Bald Spot and Convertible do not mix. I get severe heat stroke when ever I get a sunburn on my bald spot, and all it takes is about 3.5 seconds of sun, usually hidden behind dark rain clouds, for my head to burn.
It is why I've taken up wearing stylish hats. Or maybe that's a magician thing.
Posted by adenam (Member # 11902) on :
You could buy a house in an exotic place and try to convince your family to move there like my dad. For 3 years he was the proud owner of a house in Montana. However, the moving there thing didn't work out, so he sold the house and is about to spend a month in Israel trying to find a house there.
I think writing, especially your ideas, sounds much cooler and easier on your family.
Posted by paigereader (Member # 2274) on :
Story 5 sounds good... have the character going thru a MLC asking himself all the same questions.
Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
Just please don't decide to take up the drums and form a band (like one of our next door neighbors did). Not only was listening to his drumming all hours of the day and night obnoxious, but the singer in his band was awful. He decided to go all-out with his mid-life crisis and bought a sports car and ended up getting divorced too. I don't recommend that either.
I like story idea 4, but they all sound like they could be lots of fun.
Posted by Goody Scrivener (Member # 6742) on :
quote:Originally posted by BlackBlade: You forgot Mid Life Crisis hobby adoption. My uncles both suddenly became obsessed with horse back riding. They purchased horses, trailers, and regularly attend shows now.
You could take up something like that.
My father's gone through a series of expensive timesinks. Paintball, fishing, aviation, World of Warcraft, EVE Online, brewing his own beer, I'm sure I'm missing some.
Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
quote:Originally posted by Darth_Mauve: BBlade--Hobby Adoption--in the past two years I've become a professional Magician. Does that count?
Yes, sounds like you've already had your mid-life crisis. But then again who says you can only have one? There's so much mid-life between birth and death. Posted by Darth_Mauve (Member # 4709) on :
Well, next week I was hoping to enter my second childhood.
Well, maybe not second.
Posted by Traceria (Member # 11820) on :
Along with the house in an exotic place that adenam mentioned, pick yourself out a sail boat. Just don't forget the boat shoes.
Posted by Samprimary (Member # 8561) on :
How's WoW or EvE an expensive timesink? 15/mo is cheap compared to the real money-pits, like horses.
Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
My wife hasn't left her first childhood behind. Perhaps a sport, like swimming - it would even get you into shape. Or an even better sport; roller coaster riding. You must travel to different theme parks across the US (and other countries if time and expenses permit) on a quest to find the ultimate roller coaster. May I suggest you start with King's Dominion?
Posted by AchillesHeel (Member # 11736) on :
quote:Originally posted by BlackBlade: You forgot Mid Life Crisis hobby adoption. My uncles both suddenly became obsessed with horse back riding. They purchased horses, trailers, and regularly attend shows now.
You could take up something like that.
Mini horses rule.
Posted by theamazeeaz (Member # 6970) on :
Could you paint the car you currently own red?
Posted by Glenn Arnold (Member # 3192) on :
Sounds like you want your mid life crisis to be productive.
How about starting a diet and exercise regimen so you can use your newly awesome bod to convince your wife to do something more interesting than canasta?
Posted by Darth_Mauve (Member # 4709) on :
Productive?
Never.
Fun. Yes.
For me, writing is fun.
Exercise--well I believe that physical exertion is the last refuge of the unimaginative.
Posted by Darth_Mauve (Member # 4709) on :
j
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
quote: How about starting a diet and exercise regimen so you can use your newly awesome bod to convince your wife to do something more interesting than canasta?
Reminds me of a Jeff Dunham joke.
Audience member: Walter, how do I get my wife to have sex on the patio?
![[Grumble]](graemlins/grumble.gif)
He decided to go all-out with his mid-life crisis and bought a sports car and ended up getting divorced too. I don't recommend that either.![[Wink]](wink.gif)