On a nearly daily occurrence, I go to college, and around lunchtime I go to the CF Clubroom to enjoy my lunch, I brought a little container of ketchup roughly the size of a small soup bowl to pour onto my food, and everyone keeps trying to confiscate it saying "your going to have a heart attack at 30 and die blayne" "why dont you go a week without ketchup blayne".
Jebus if I had a choice between dying at 30 and not having ketchup I choose DYING AT THIRTY! One time I had brought a bottle over and someone hid it from me.
Leave my ketchup alone!
Posted by JonHecht (Member # 9712) on :
I agree with your friends.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
SMITE THEM!!!
*smites JonHecht with the Ketchup of Righteousness*
Posted by Boris (Member # 6935) on :
I'm your enemy. You must use ketchup.
Posted by dantesparadigm (Member # 8756) on :
I feel like you'd have to ingest some pretty large quantities before the sodium started causing problems.
Posted by neo-dragon (Member # 7168) on :
Ketchup is bad for you?
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
What do you put the ketchup ON? Why not just have a bowl of tomato soup instead?
Posted by Elmer's Glue (Member # 9313) on :
Switch to catsup?
Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
i put it on everything thats a "Bread" or a "Meat" also includes Pickles and Hot peppers.
Ild say for a standard "to-go" cateferia meal thats a roughly 2 square foot container.
Let say if its filed with macaroni salad, I need enough ketchup to ensure every gram has an even coating.
I think the formula goes like this where f(x) is the amount I need, it will equal to the mass of the amount of food divided by x where x equals number of of the tiny little "hats" that restaurants give to fill up with ketchup.
So for a buger thats 3-4, a large fry I theororize requaires 10 packages or 1 half filled bowl. (3 inches high 4 inches wide), extra required if hot peppers are added.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
How do you actually eat a burger with three fluid ounces of ketchup on it? Doesn't it spill out?
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
How is ketchup bad for you other than the HFCS and stuff like that?
Now mayo, that is fattening supposedly, but I do like it on a hot pastrami sandwich.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
Other than the HFCS and stuff, it isn't. Depending on what you mean by "stuff."
Of course, if you're drowning all your food in ketchup, this may wind up exacerbating other eating disorders you already have. Not tasting what you're eating is surely going to contribute to a general lack of mindfulness about your food.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
I did have to normalize my sodium intake during my first pregnancy. My swelling was rather extreme until I did.
Posted by Rappin' Ronnie Reagan (Member # 5626) on :
quote:Originally posted by Blayne Bradley: Ild say for a standard "to-go" cateferia meal thats a roughly 2 square foot container.
Is my understanding wrong, or is that a freaking huge food container?
And I'm with Tom, how do you keep the ketchup from squirting out? Do you wear a towel while you eat?
Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
I hold my burger like so pour a bit on, take a bite out of it usually the exact area I have ketchup on, then pour MORE on, then take a bite of that, and again, and again, rinse and repeat. I generally only a little bit on the patty itself, the rest I pour on it as I eat it to maximize the amount of ketchup consumed.
Its not "2 feet" its two SQUARE feet or more accurately 2 feet cubed since its a 3 dimensional space, 1 side to 1 side is roughly 2 hands holding it from the buttom give or take a few fingers.
Posted by JonHecht (Member # 9712) on :
For every tbs. of ketchup there are 15 calories and 3.4 grams of sugar.
Posted by Godric 2.0 (Member # 11443) on :
There's nothing wrong with ketchup... It's pretty much the universal condiment. I remember reading an article awhile back on why there are so many variations of mustard, but ketchup is ketchup. Alternate flavors of ketchup just don't sell.
But... That is a lot of ketchup Blayne. Maybe try some hot sauce, which is what I currently bathe most of my foods in. Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
quote:Originally posted by Blayne Bradley: I hold my burger like so pour a bit on, take a bite out of it usually the exact area I have ketchup on, then pour MORE on, then take a bite of that, and again, and again, rinse and repeat. I generally only a little bit on the patty itself, the rest I pour on it as I eat it to maximize the amount of ketchup consumed.
I am frightened to find that I have something in common with Blayne.
Posted by JonHecht (Member # 9712) on :
quote:Originally posted by Elmer's Glue: Switch to catsup?
ABOMINATION! *smites*
Posted by Shmuel (Member # 7586) on :
quote:Originally posted by Godric 2.0: I remember reading an article awhile back on why there are so many variations of mustard, but ketchup is ketchup.
quote:Its not "2 feet" its two SQUARE feet or more accurately 2 feet cubed since its a 3 dimensional space, 1 side to 1 side is roughly 2 hands holding it from the buttom give or take a few fingers.
Um....I don't think you know what a square foot is, much less a cubic foot. But, that said, that's still a pretty huge container.
Posted by Godric 2.0 (Member # 11443) on :
quote:Originally posted by Shmuel:
quote:Originally posted by Godric 2.0: I remember reading an article awhile back on why there are so many variations of mustard, but ketchup is ketchup.
See.. This is why I love this place. I did a quick search, but couldn't locate the link. Still, here it is. And is was an article by Malcolm Gladwell! I don't think I even noticed that the first time I read it.
Posted by Stephan (Member # 7549) on :
Heinz 57, or nothing.
Posted by The White Whale (Member # 6594) on :
JonHecht, that's my undergraduate school paper! I know that guy! In fact, I wrote two articles for that very same issue (Beer and Sky)!
May I ask how you found that article?
Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
See, Blayne, the solution to your problem is simple: chug a bottle of ketchup on a bet.
Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
So basically all you eat is ketchup.
Ketchup is sugar, tomatoes and salt. That's why it tastes so good.
Posted by Darth_Mauve (Member # 4709) on :
Modern Ketchup is red painted sugar in oil.
Go to a farmers market and buy some homemade Ketchup. You get to taste odd things like Tomato when you use it.
One of the biggest problems with drowning your food in ketchup is that you drown your taste buds as well. You don't develop an appreciation of the subtleties of flavor, instead equating Sweet and Oily with good.
Its like reading only comic books. You will read the classics, as long as they are in comic form. Graphic Novels are ok, but they aren't as short and sweet as true comics.
You will enjoy Comics all the time, but never get the enjoyment out of books, because they don't have the colored pictures.
Posted by Shmuel (Member # 7586) on :
You didn't read that article Godric mentioned, did you Darth?
Posted by adenam (Member # 11902) on :
Mabye you should share the ketchup.
Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
strangely one of the complaints rendered is that by "eating so much ketchup in the company of others I risk causing someone to gain allergies to ketchup, kill someone"
utterly ridiculous.
Posted by scifibum (Member # 7625) on :
quote:Originally posted by Blayne Bradley: strangely one of the complaints rendered is that by "eating so much ketchup in the company of others I risk causing someone to gain allergies to ketchup, kill someone"
utterly ridiculous.
Well, logic and reason weren't working. It's an understandable development in persuasion tactics.
Posted by JonHecht (Member # 9712) on :
quote:Originally posted by The White Whale: JonHecht, that's my undergraduate school paper! I know that guy! In fact, I wrote two articles for that very same issue (Beer and Sky)!
May I ask how you found that article?
Google.
Posted by dantesparadigm (Member # 8756) on :
quote:Originally posted by Shmuel:
quote:Originally posted by Godric 2.0: I remember reading an article awhile back on why there are so many variations of mustard, but ketchup is ketchup.
That was a really cool article. Thanks for sharing.
Posted by aspectre (Member # 2222) on :
1 cubic foot equals 7.46 gallons/28.32litres Since (most) food sinks in water, a cubic foot of (warm) food would weigh more than 62pounds/28.12kilograms*.
Weird knowing that, excluding excess body fat and the volume of air in the lungs, most women occupy less than 2cubic feet of space and most men occupy less than 3cubic feet. And that it'd take ~188million people to fill the Boeing building.
* Nearly-freezing water weighs 1kilogram per litre. Water at 100degreeFahrenheit/37.7degreesCelsius weighs a smidgeon less
[ March 08, 2009, 04:08 PM: Message edited by: aspectre ]
Posted by Sterling (Member # 8096) on :
Mmm. Lycopene.
I dunno about eating that much ketchup daily, but it's probably got less going against it than the soda on the tray to its left and the french fries on the tray to its right.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Why don't people just accept that Blayne likes a lot of ketchup and let him ten gallons at every meal if that's what he wants? It's rude even to notice, much less comment upon, what someone else is eating.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
In all fairness, he did start the thread and presumably expected comments.
Posted by JonHecht (Member # 9712) on :
And am I the only one who thinks the complaint is rather bizarre: "My friends would rather I didn't die! Oh, darn their treacherous ways!"
Posted by scifibum (Member # 7625) on :
quote:Originally posted by Tatiana: Why don't people just accept that Blayne likes a lot of ketchup and let him ten gallons at every meal if that's what he wants? It's rude even to notice, much less comment upon, what someone else is eating.
I'm assuming you're referring to Blayne's friends who have been trying to intervene?
Slight nitpick: rudeness, being a social phenomenon, can't occur just by noticing.
Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
quote:Originally posted by JonHecht: And am I the only one who thinks the complaint is rather bizarre: "My friends would rather I didn't die! Oh, darn their treacherous ways!"
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
scifibum, yes, I'm referring to Blayne's friends. About the finer point, you can only notice if you don't indicate by eyes or facial expression that you've noticed. In that case, you haven't noticeably noticed, so it doesn't count as noticing. Is that perfectly clear? Posted by Dogbreath (Member # 11879) on :
quote:Originally posted by aspectre: 1 cubic foot equals 7.46 gallons/28.32litres Since (most) food sinks in water, a cubic foot of (warm) food would weigh more than 62pounds/28.12kilograms*.
So he's eating the weight of an average person (at least 124 lbs by your calculation) every lunch. O_o
I think he's got bigger health risks to worry about than ketchup...
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
You didn't know that Blayne is a one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people eater?
Posted by Godric 2.0 (Member # 11443) on :
Do not meddle in the affairs of Blayne, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Posted by Samprimary (Member # 8561) on :
Your friends' concern is probably misplaced. I am nearly positive that if I got an accurate dietary log of your food consumption over a month, I could tell you for sure that your diet is disconcertingly unhealthy and will keep you fat/sluggish/hypertensive and the ketchup would be a minimal part of that.
Posted by Jhai (Member # 5633) on :
I read the article, thought, "this is really cool," told my husband, and was deflated when he informed me that India has many different types of popular ketchups.
Posted by T:man (Member # 11614) on :
quote:Originally posted by Godric 2.0: Do not meddle in the affairs of Blayne, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Posted by paigereader (Member # 2274) on :
A few years ago, Ohio schools named ketchup as serving of fruits/vegetables!!!! If they served it with lunch, it counted as a serving. Not sure if this is still the case, but what were they thinking?
Posted by Artemisia Tridentata (Member # 8746) on :
For all true Republicans, ketchup is a vegetable. As a regestered Democrat, I would rather have broccoli. (except with McDonalds fries)
Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
My favourite ketchup flavour - which I've seen only at McDonald's - is garlic & chillies. Very, very nice.
Posted by Traceria (Member # 11820) on :
quote:Originally posted by JonHecht: And am I the only one who thinks the complaint is rather bizarre: "My friends would rather I didn't die! Oh, darn their treacherous ways!"
No. After reading through this entire thread, I'm with you. It's bizarre, and on top of that, too much ketchup is too much ketchup no matter how much you like it.
My brother had a friend who put ketchup on EVERYTHING, even a really good steak. My dad commented to him while we were all out to dinner at a well-known steak place that it would be great if R. could refrain from eating his meat with ketchup just this once given it was a nice cut/cook/etc., and R. had to ask why. That's when you know it's gone too far.
Everything in moderation...even ice cream, which is a blessing from above.
Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
I second R, why not put ketchup on steak? Its just a different kind of gravy, even better if I could put the steak between bread and cheese and maybe some onion and tomato.
I also make sandwiches out of everything.
Posted by Traceria (Member # 11820) on :
You shouldn't put gravy, for that matter, on a good steak either. Even A-l is stretching it in my book. GOOD steak, not run-of-the-mill steak. If you pay anything over $20 for a steak, no ketchup. I'd even debate putting ketchup on a cheaper one perhaps.
*le sigh*
Edit: Let the flavor and essence of the food have a chance to speak for itself!
Posted by scifibum (Member # 7625) on :
Another way of putting the rule: If you're going to slather it in ketchup, don't bother buying expensive food.
Posted by T:man (Member # 11614) on :
quote:Originally posted by Traceria: You shouldn't put gravy, for that matter, on a good steak either. Even A-l is stretching it in my book. GOOD steak, not run-of-the-mill steak. If you pay anything over $20 for a steak, no ketchup. I'd even debate putting ketchup on a cheaper one perhaps.
*le sigh*
Edit: Let the flavor and essence of the food have a chance to speak for itself!
Exactly my thought, using too much Ketchup ruins the food.
Posted by T:man (Member # 11614) on :
quote:Originally posted by Blayne Bradley: I second R, why not put ketchup on steak? Its just a different kind of gravy
BLASPHEMY!
Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :
quote:Alternate flavors of ketchup just don't sell.
When I was a kid, we'd sometimes get a spicy ketchup that I really liked. Then they stopped selling it, so I'd make my own version with ketchup + worchestershire.
Posted by Eaquae Legit (Member # 3063) on :
When I was in Rome, my tour group was hooked with two smaller ones, composed of American highschoolers. I remember the moment when the complaints started about not having ketchup. If you're in Italy, paying a lot of money to experience Italian culture and eat really nice Italian food, shut up about the dang ketchup. It was very frustrating, and we could tell the waiters were unimpressed.
I quite like ketchup myself, but I also like being able to taste other flavours. I can't imagine dulling my poor taste buds like that. Ketchup has its place, and does its job marvellously. But hey, once in a while step out of the comfort zone and see what else the world of food has to offer.
Posted by Samprimary (Member # 8561) on :
quote:Originally posted by Blayne Bradley: I second R, why not put ketchup on steak?
That would be fine as long as one is committed never to eating at a place that serves good steak.
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
People are welcome to doctor their food however they like around me, as long as they leave mine alone. It does seem like a waste to me to put ketchup, gravy, A1, or pretty much anything other than salt and little pepper on a good steak, and if I were the one ordering and paying for the steak I might suggest to the person that they go for the hoof cut, since they aren't really going to be tasting the steak anyway, but if they're ordering it for themselves they can put whatever they'd like on it.
Similarly, I know people whose practice, when they have chocolate, is to briefly chew it and then swallow. That seems like a huge waste to me if the chocolate is of high quality, but as long as it's not my chocolate they're eating in this way, it's not my problem.
Posted by scifibum (Member # 7625) on :
One thing I hadn't considered is whether you can build up a ketchup tolerance. Maybe if you consume enough of it on a regular basis, it sort of fades into the background, or sets up a flavor baseline from which variance is still possible.
With hearing, our minds can filter out constant background noise so that we aren't consciously aware of it. We don't really "hear" anything until something changes. So after sufficient time you might not really hear the fan running across the room, but you'll still hear your phone ring, or a creaky floorboard.
There seem to be limits on the functionality of this selective suppression of perception. Above a certain decibel level, a steady noise is going to drown out everything else. I think most of us would equate a thick coating of ketchup to be something like a jet engine: predictable and constant in effect, but so *loud* that it dominates other notes.
Our ears are generally not resilient enough to stand up to constant jet engine-level input, so it's doubtful that we can really examine the question of whether high-decibel noise can fade into the baseline the way a whirring fan can. But if such exposure didn't damage our ears, isn't it conceivable that we could suppress that perception and still pick out the variations to enjoy other sounds as well? They might simply be ripples on the towering waves, but once we learn to cancel out those waves the ripples should still remain, right?
Perhaps Blayne's ketchup is the surging surf, but his tastebuds ride those powerful waves with such expert delicacy that they can enjoy the ripples and swirls that a fine aged piece of beef would contribute.
Or maybe not. Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
I can still taste the beef, it just tastes BETTER with ketchup.
People say "no one can improve upon perfection" to which I retort, but does it have ketchup on it? Hmm?
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
I think to me ketchup is like salt. It brings out the flavor of whatever it's on.
And you can most definitely build up a tolerance.
Posted by Elmer's Glue (Member # 9313) on :
I like ketchup, but people are always telling me that I don't use enough. I don't need to pile it on like Blayne, just a little dab.
Posted by Samprimary (Member # 8561) on :
quote:Originally posted by ketchupqueen: I think to me ketchup is like salt. It brings out the flavor of whatever it's on.
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
But, that said, that's still a pretty huge container.
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
![[Wall Bash]](graemlins/wallbash.gif)
moment when the complaints started about not having ketchup. If you're in Italy, paying a lot of money to experience Italian culture and eat really nice Italian food, shut up about the dang ketchup. It was very frustrating, and we could tell the waiters were unimpressed.![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)