This is topic My kids say awesome things. in forum Books, Films, Food and Culture at Hatrack River Forum.


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Posted by Puppy (Member # 6721) on :
 
A few quotes from my oldest daughter (who is two years old):

"I can't like birds."
"Why not?"
"They get in my eyes."

"I'm scared of Christmas."
"Why?"
"I might have to fight him."
"Who? Your cousin [whom she will be visiting]?"
"No. Santa Claus."

What awesome things do your kids say?
 

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Posted by scifibum (Member # 7625) on :
 
My three year old got a Superman costume for Halloween, and he said the following (as a monologue):

"Superman? Can I FLY? Hmm. No, I cannot fly."

The other thing he said recently that I really liked is "Dad, you're my friend."
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
Your daughter is old enough to be talking in sentences?!?

Man, time sure flies when it's someone else's life. Also, I feel old.
 

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Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Yeah, rivka, when we first met my oldest was like 4 months old. Now she's 4 1/2 years old. It kind of shocks me to think of that.

I have too many recent kid funnies to even remember them all... One of the funniest was my 2 1/2 year old running away from her father (who was trying to diaper and dress her after her bath) and saying (in a deep voice) "What you doing?" and answering (in a high, thin voice) "I fweeking out!!!" Over and over again...
 

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Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
 
Two-year-olds are CUTE.
 

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Posted by kmbboots (Member # 8576) on :
 
At age five, my nephew turned to my sister as she was pouring a cup of coffee, "Mom, caffeine is a diuretic. You'll be up peeing all night."
 

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Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
 
My two year old yesterday:

I push the elevator button!

Okay.

This one?

That's the one.

No, that's the two. This is the one.


Also, after spending time with his grandfather at the hardware store: "I need a compound mitre saw. I won't cut my fingers."
 

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Posted by Eaquae Legit (Member # 3063) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by kmbboots:
At age five, my nephew turned to my sister as she was pouring a cup of coffee, "Mom, caffeine is a diuretic. You'll be up peeing all night."

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(Literally. That's the funniest thing I've heard all day.)
 

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Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
 
Oh, that reminds me:

"I want a drink of mommy's soda."

"No, that has caffiene in it, it's not for kids."

"But I have a paper due!"
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by ketchupqueen:
Yeah, rivka, when we first met my oldest was like 4 months old. Now she's 4 1/2 years old. It kind of shocks me to think of that.

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Yeah, but when I first "met" Geoff (on Prodigy), HE was 10. (I think. Maybe 12?)

So him having a child old enough to talk is just frightening.
 

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Posted by Puppy (Member # 6721) on :
 
I think I was 11 or 12, and you were 14
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
Ok, 14 is what I remember too. And I'm pretty sure you're 4 years younger than I am. I'll be 35 in April.

I just realized . . . my oldest is now the age I was then.

Now I REALLY feel old!
 

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Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Oh, yes, I was just saying time goes by too quickly.

Remembered another one, from my 4 1/2 year old:

"Look! There's the moon. The moon is the mommy, and those are all the baby stars. The moon has lots of na-na milk because she has a lot of babies."
 

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Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
 
My son said to me the other day "Let's have a Smiths cover band." He loves the Smiths. It was cute.
 

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Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
 
My little cousin does this thing that I wish I had a video of to show you. She's the most adorable little kid in the world (and knows it), and she likes to repeat phrases she hears on commercials when prompted. So if someone says Subway, she says "eat fresh!"

Last Thanksgiving she was doing this thing she'd heard on a Disney channel show, and whenever her mom (also a cousin) said something, she'd go "Mama said wha?" with this hilarious face. If I can get her to do it at Thanksgiving in two weeks, I'll post it, cause it's hilarious.

quote:

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Also, after spending time with his grandfather at the hardware store: "I need a compound mitre saw. I won't cut my fingers."

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That's the funniest thing I've seen all day.
 

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Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
 
While I wasn't a prepubiscient child at the time I also have this habit or dare I say tradition of saying funny things at family events or doing funny things when I was a younger teenager at ages 12-16 eevery chrismas at my cousins I would always do something well stupid?

First year: Fearing Y2K (would make me 12 at the time 21-9) I gathered roughly..... 50 cans of soda from our cousins "serve yourself" table. And had em all in my bag.

Second Year: My brother was given some Harry Potter toys which in my jealousy said "But he doesn't even like Harry Potter!"

Third Year: (You see where this is going) I was given Jerrassic Park 3 as a gift and I said in my usually casual bluntness "I would be more appreciative if I hadn't already seen it"

Eventually they stopped giving us gifts. bastards.
 

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Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
 
Hatrack needs an eyebrow raise emoticon.
 

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Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
 
The again, this was probly me unconsiously rebelling at being forced to go somewhere I do not want to go. I was embarrass the family, why can't they just let me stay home for once!? Do they ever learn?

Bringing Relunctant Blayne to a Family gathering, equals someone urinating on someone. After eating all the food. And getting drunk. And maybe hitting on my cousin. Not necessarily in that order.
 

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Posted by scholarette (Member # 11540) on :
 
I accidently unplugged the laptop the baby was playing on (which doesn't have a battery). I said uh oh and plugged it back in. Meanwhile she ran over to it and hit the power button and proudly proclaimed "I saved it."
 

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Posted by Sean Monahan (Member # 9334) on :
 
Not my child, the daughter of a friend (4yo). They have a cat named Ophie, and they had to take Ophie to the vet:

"Is Ophie's doctor a cat, too?"
 

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Posted by Tsinya (Member # 11724) on :
 
One of my brother's friends 4 year old sister did something really cute. Her mom had been drinking a martini, and when she turned around for a second, the 4 year old started drinking it. Then she goes "Mommy, I like your juicy!" and made meowing sounds the rest of the night.
 

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Posted by Sterling (Member # 8096) on :
 
"Ice cream is for girls."
 

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Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 
"Babies are not for kicking. We can only kiss them on their fuzzy little heads."

"I am being a fairy princess. That is like a fairy and a princess at the same time. And maybe a pony."

"You sworded me! I shall sword you until you are dead!"

"Daddy, you have to come home right away because I am about to do something very soon and it is going to be amazing."

"It had better be my birthday soon. Everyone has had a birthday except me this year."

"Can we sit here until the radio is done? This is really a most excellent song and I am not all the way done rocking out."

"Haley eats all her vegetables, but that is because she is a baby and doesn't know any better yet."

(at the end of WALL*E) "If that little robot is dead, I will be quite upset with you."

"I think I ate too much pizza. My tummy was saying 'no' but my mouth was saying 'yes.'"

(upon being asked what her brain was saying) "My brain had nothing to do with it."

"Why are they always playing Blue's Clues? Doesn't Joe get tired of it? It's, like, their whole day."

"She thinks she is cute but maybe she is not quite so cute as me."

(whispered, in Chicago) "Can I tell you a secret? They call those buildings high-scrapers because they are considerably higher than the just regular scrapers."

"You're being almost nearly as silly as a Wiggle."

"Mama, no! Do not gobble up Haley! She is quite absolutely small and helpless and not for gobbling."

(out of the blue, at dinner) "I don't think I would like to not have feet."
 

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Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 
Wow, Tom, your kids are really cute.

I teach a little Hebrew "class" on Monday afternoons, and my youngest, Jacob (six years old), came in a few weeks ago and said "I voted for Barack Obama today!"

Hehe... I was so proud.
 

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Posted by Puppy (Member # 6721) on :
 
Tom, do your kids watch Charlie and Lola? They talk absolutely and extremely like Lola does.
 

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Posted by SenojRetep (Member # 8614) on :
 
Upon being told several days in a row (following Halloween) that he could only have one piece of candy a day or his teeth would decay, our two-year-old announced, "If my teeth get decayed, I will just push this button (his nose) and they will be all fixed." Then he asked for more candy.

The other day our five-year-old daughter said, "The internet is like the smartest person in the world. It knows EVERYTHING."

Our son had a dream the other night, which he related thusly: "Last night I had a dream that I was jumping on my friend's trampoline and I jumped so high that I landed on a cloud and ate holes in it (he later told me it tasted like cotton candy) and there was also an apple tree there and I ate a red apple and it was so delicious, but I didn't throw it in the sun."
 

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Posted by Phanto (Member # 5897) on :
 
dkw:

Lol, even kids feel paper pressure!
 

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Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 

quote:

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Tom, do your kids watch Charlie and Lola?

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Yes. Sophie began affecting Lola's speech patterns within two hours of watching her first episode of the show -- but, then, Sophie has always liked adverbs, so I think she was just wanting to hear someone else use adverbs the way she wanted to (even if that someone else was a fictional character. *grin*)
 

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Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 

quote:

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(out of the blue, at dinner) "I don't think I would like to not have feet."

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You know your kid's something special when he or she comes out with this. Awesome .
 

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Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Blayne Bradley:
The again, this was probly me unconsiously rebelling at being forced to go somewhere I do not want to go. I was embarrass the family, why can't they just let me stay home for once!? Do they ever learn?

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Yeah, it's THEIR fault you are an rude, selfish little git even at Christmas time.
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
"Everybody needs a face."

"Baby chickens do not have to cockle doo-doo." (In my opinion, that is something no one should ever have to do. Ever.)

*irritated voice* "Why does the moon keep following us!"

"Do you remember when you told me," laughing hysterically, "that sometimes moms don't have bottles, so their babies have to drink out of their mom's boobs ?" Bear in mind that both of my children were breastfed at some point. This is the same child who used to call breasts "nerds" (for nurse) and would bring me gallons of milk from the refrigerator "for my nerds".

I used to write their funny phrases down, but I can't find the notebook anymore.
 

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Posted by All4Nothing (Member # 11601) on :
 
Oh my goodness, I can't wait till my niece gets old enough to say things like this. I don't have any children of my own, I do hope that changes someday. This topic brings me great pleasure.
 

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Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 
From my little sister's childhood:

"This is for you... go put it in my room."

"Just a mininute!"

(At a concert/show of mine) "But I don't WANT to be one of the clapping children!"
 

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Posted by DDDaysh (Member # 9499) on :
 
It has now become a classic with my son, but it was really funny when he first said it...

He's a boy, and he's a pistol. He went through a stage where he managed to destroy things on such a frequent basis I thought he must be part tornado. Anyway, I would often say in exasperation, "What on earth am I going to do with you?" Well, one time he just looked right back at me and said, "Love me!". Of course, I laughed and so now that's his response EVERY time I say that.

I'm not sure if today's is really appropriate - but I'm gunna post it anyway because it was such a TV parenting moment.

Today in the bath, cleaning certain boy areas, Son: "Mom, why do I have to do this <pushing up foreskin> every day?"
Me: To keep it clean.
Son: "Billy's doesn't do this"
Me: (Thinking, Oh MY! What on earth is going on at preschool) "Well, this isn't something we should talk about at preschool, but sometimes when boys are babies their mommies ask the doctors to cut that part off so it's easier to keep clean" (a summary)
My son: (after looking at me very thoughtfully for a couple of seconds) "I think I can just wash it every day."
 

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Posted by JennaDean (Member # 8816) on :
 

 

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Posted by Shanna (Member # 7900) on :
 
Tom, what did you do to make your kids so darn adorable?! Seriously, what books do you read them, what shows do they watch? I'm taking notes here for future reference.
 

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Posted by CaySedai (Member # 6459) on :
 

quote:

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*irritated voice* "Why does the moon keep following us!"

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Only in our case it was more of a slightly panicked voice, poor kid.
 

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Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
 
After reading this thread I think children should speak more and adults less.
 

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Posted by Artemisia Tridentata (Member # 8746) on :
 
Daddy, You just don't understand. I'm all out of wait!
This after having been told several times to "Just wait, we'll be home in a minute." after she declared the need for a potty stop.
 

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Posted by Amanecer (Member # 4068) on :
 
My 3 year old niece observing a storm brewing this weekend:

Niece: "THE CLOUDS ARE MOVING!!!"
Her mom: "Where are they going?"
Niece: *stops and ponders* "To Walmart."
 

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Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 
Tonight:

"Could you please pause the book? I have to go blow my nose."
 

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
"I know sausage comes from pigs, but where do the pigs get them?"
 

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Posted by Kama (Member # 3022) on :
 
Now I want a child
 

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Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Scott R:
"I know sausage comes from pigs, but where do the pigs get them?"

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quote:

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Originally posted by PSI Teleport:
Today, after I asked how they liked the cheese tortellini:

"It takes like the cheese in buffalo."

*blink* I'm not sure if he means the animal or Buffalo, NY. He has no experience with either.

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quote:

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"I was afrid (sic) to go on the monkey bars when I was in first grade. The teachers where not allowed to hold me. I was afriaed (sic). Then I decided I whould (sic) do it. So I did. And in the end I fell and bumped my head on the pole."

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quote:

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Could he have meant buffalo wings?

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quote:

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Originally posted by PSI Teleport:
Today, after I asked how they liked the cheese tortellini:

"It takes like the cheese in buffalo."

*blink* I'm not sure if he means the animal or Buffalo, NY. He has no experience with either.

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quote:

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Originally posted by TomDavidson:
Shanna, I was going to say "I don't know" -- or maybe rattle off a list of influences that I know have had an effect (including the Charlie and Lola show (and books), but then Sophie just came into the room, staring balefully at a chocolate chip cookie in her hand and intoning, "You have failed me for the last time, cookie. I eat you! But first I will dip you in milk!"

And it occurred to me that maybe we have had something to do with it. *grin* Mainly we play with them -- especially word-heavy roleplay -- a lot, and made a point of never using baby talk or dumbing down our vocabulary. I suspect the same is true of a lot of Hatracker parents, though; the kids on this thread are wonderful. But to be honest, I suspect that most kids are wonderful, and that parents just don't always listen.

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quote:

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I don't suppose he's ever had buffalo mozzarella?

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No, do they have that somewhere? I found bison meat at Wal-Mart. That was shocking enough to me.
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
You can even buy kosher bison. It's yummy.

Buffalo mozzarella is apparently most common in a few places . . . including L.A. I know I see it at the supermarket, especially the gourmet-ier places.
 

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Posted by scifibum (Member # 7625) on :
 
My oldest child is decidedly not the type to say adorably verbose things. He also doesn't ask a lot of questions, except to ask for things.

But he seems to understand what we're saying, just fine. And his preschool teacher and pediatrician both indicate he's doing fine.

I just get a little jealous/insecure when I hear about 2 and 3 year olds forming complete sentences better than my 5 year old.
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
Don't stress about it. My son has always been a huge talker, like nonstop. He never used baby words, just jumped into phrases and short sentences at 13 months.

But my daughter has always been very...um...vocally challenged. She talks a lot, but she's only just now starting to become comprehensible, and she's five. Nothing's wrong with her; everyone's just different. But I know what you're saying.

It'll happen.
 

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Posted by Teshi (Member # 5024) on :
 

quote:

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Second, I'm curious about what you mean by "baby talk". Dumbing down vocabulary around your children is a mistake, but lots of studies have shown that the exaggerated way of speaking that most people tend to use with babies is actually important in stimulating areas of the brain needed for language. There is no reason to think that certain types of "baby talk" will promote weak language skills and plenty of reason to think they may promote good language skills.

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quote:

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My husband and I call them fairy princesses.

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I think the tone in which you call them "fairy princesses" might be telling.
 

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Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
We had an awesome thing at dinner tonight.

Emma (pointing out the window): Look! Look! I see elephants!
Me (wondering if a car drove by with an elephant on it or something): Where? (Looking) I don't see any elephants.
Emma: No elephants? You see zero elephants?
Me: That's right, I see zero elephants.
Emma (extremely aggrieved): WHY are there zero elephants in my life???
 

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Posted by Sean Monahan (Member # 9334) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by scifibum:
My oldest child is decidedly not the type to say adorably verbose things. He also doesn't ask a lot of questions, except to ask for things.

But he seems to understand what we're saying, just fine. And his preschool teacher and pediatrician both indicate he's doing fine.

I just get a little jealous/insecure when I hear about 2 and 3 year olds forming complete sentences better than my 5 year old.

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It may not apply in this specific case, but this reminds me of something Steven Pinker says in The Language Instinct, because we had a family friend with a similar concern:

"My child is three years old and hasn't said a word. What should I do?

Take him (it's more likely to be a "him") to a speech and language pathologist accredited by the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (www.asha.org), ideally one affiliated with a university, clinic, or teaching hospital. If the child seems to understand language, and is bright and socially responsive, there is a good chance that he is simply a "late talker" (probably genetic causes) who will outgrow his silence and end up just fine."
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
Given that the pediatrician thinks he's fine, I'm pretty sure it doesn't apply in this case.

scifibum, my middle brother didn't start to talk until age three. He's still the least talkative of the family. But he is brilliant and well-spoken -- when he speaks, people listen.

Don't worry. I'm sure your son is fine.
 

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Posted by scifibum (Member # 7625) on :
 
"Don't worry" is probably the least-followed advice of all time.

But that doesn't mean it's not good advice.

Yeah, he'll be OK. He's got some interesting mental talents. By the time he was two, he was very interested in organizing colored objects in the same order in which colors appear in a rainbow (no idea how common this is: anyone seen this? He never made a mistake, it was always red orange yellow green blue purple). He also knew his ABCs backwards and forwards. He seems rather bright except for the way he communicates.
 

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Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by TomDavidson:

quote:

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My husband and I call them fairy princesses.

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I think the tone in which you call them "fairy princesses" might be telling.

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quote:

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WHY are there zero elephants in my life???

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Man, if Hatrack had .sigs, KQ, I'd be all over this one. Did she also throw up her hands in exasperation?
 

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Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 
*giggle*
 

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Posted by destructopants (Member # 11732) on :
 
So this morning, around 4:00 AM, my three-year-old son climbed into my bed and woke me up by saying, "Hey, Mom! Mom! I have an epiglottis. It's in my mouth."

And, a couple of weeks ago, as we were driving home from preschool:
My son: Mom?
Me: Yes?
My Son (very pensively): I think... I think that those thingies might be some baby trees.
(He was pointing out the window at some shrubs)
 

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Posted by kmbboots (Member # 8576) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Sean Monahan:

quote:

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Originally posted by scifibum:
My oldest child is decidedly not the type to say adorably verbose things. He also doesn't ask a lot of questions, except to ask for things.

But he seems to understand what we're saying, just fine. And his preschool teacher and pediatrician both indicate he's doing fine.

I just get a little jealous/insecure when I hear about 2 and 3 year olds forming complete sentences better than my 5 year old.

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It may not apply in this specific case, but this reminds me of something Steven Pinker says in The Language Instinct, because we had a family friend with a similar concern:

"My child is three years old and hasn't said a word. What should I do?

Take him (it's more likely to be a "him") to a speech and language pathologist accredited by the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (www.asha.org), ideally one affiliated with a university, clinic, or teaching hospital. If the child seems to understand language, and is bright and socially responsive, there is a good chance that he is simply a "late talker" (probably genetic causes) who will outgrow his silence and end up just fine."

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Not a bad idea to get his hearing checked. Another nephew was just diagnosed with a significant hearing impairment - and he is almost 7! He decoded enough that none of us - pediatrician and teachers included - had any idea how hard he was working. What we thought was a slight speech problem was because there were sounds he never heard. He just got some hearing amplification and it is making a world of difference.

Of course, this may have nothing to do with your child. My nephew talked plenty, just not clearly. But it couldn't hurt.
 

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
 
LiteBrite had a severe ear infection that inhibited her speech and hearing the way kmboots described. We had no clue; she didn't exhibit any symptoms (fever, pain, etc).

Once she got antibiotics, she was talking like a normal three year old in less than three days.
 

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Posted by theCrowsWife (Member # 8302) on :
 
My nearly four year old daughter, this morning:

"Mom, do South American monkeys eat monkey balls*, or do they eat bananas and chickens?"


*Osage orange fruit.
 

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Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
 
scifibum, it would make a difference in my level of concern whether he just liked to line things up and order them in certain ways,*** or whether he becomes notably upset if he is not permitted to do so (or when other people put things out of order, or disturb him while he is ordering them). If the latter, then that is a characteristic it's worth making sure his pediatrician knows about.

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***as in by color, as you note with the rainbow, or by size, shape, etc. -- any sort of consistent ordering system
 

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Posted by scifibum (Member # 7625) on :
 
ClaudiaTherese, I just don't know how to answer that. No, he doesn't get mad if the blocks are disordered, or from the simple fact that he is interrupted.

However, he sometimes attaches extreme importance to getting into the van on a certain side (but not all the time), and being allowed to open the front door when we get home (but again, not all the time). He thrives on routines but the routines can and do change, and as long as we are gentle with disrupting his routines it's not a problem. He responds well to discipline when it is delivered with calm and consistency (I'm working on doing better with that), but surprise defeats can ruin the next hour.

All in all he's got some characteristics that are a little bit different, and seem somewhat similar to autistic characteristics, but haven't been enough to interfere with normal activities except on rare occasions, and I have attributed those exceptions to my easily detectable parenting mistakes and fairly normal little person boundary-pushing and fragile temper. The more structure we provide, the better he does, and the minor rigidities he develops for himself seem temporary, and can be forgotten.

Deep breath. After all that, I'm convinced that we should at least discuss it with the pediatrician, even though I don't expect that he's got any problems of clinical significance. Might as well put our minds at ease.
 

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Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
 
Let me be clear: I am a total orderer, thrive on routines, get upset going into new environments if I am not allowed to adjust slowly, etc. (e.g., when my husband wants to share an emotionally special place with me -- the ferry ride, a national park, the dam his father built, whatever -- he knows now to book two trips. One for me to sit there and read a book while quietly absorbing things, and one for me to interact and get all excited like he wants me to. I can deal with change, I just can't relax into it with pure pleasure all at once. I can, however, "get through it.")

Yes, I'm a little eccentric. A lot of us here are. I'm also happily married, maintaining several deep and enduring friendships, professionally successful, and financially stable. And very very happy.

I may just be quirky or I may be a bit on the spectrum, or those really might mean the same thing. No matter.

(I used to line things up by size. )
 

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Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
 
PS: Come to think of it, I still find routines and ordering very soothing. I specialize in an intensive care medical environment in part because the reams of data (blood pressure changes, heart rate, medication levels, feeding residuals, etc.) are so much fun to pour through and spot patterns. Love it. Don't mind not sleeping on call because there is so much data to play with. (Mmmm, data.)
 

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Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
 
'Pore'. One 'pores' through data. One 'pours' through a colander.
 

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Posted by Zalmoxis (Member # 2327) on :
 
You must not CT, very well, King of Men. She most definitely pours.
 

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Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
 
I love it when a user name gets turned into a verb. I can just picture what "to CT" entails, as well.
 

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Posted by scifibum (Member # 7625) on :
 
She also personally applies the spots to patterns.
 

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Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by TomDavidson:

quote:

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WHY are there zero elephants in my life???

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Man, if Hatrack had .sigs, KQ, I'd be all over this one. Did she also throw up her hands in exasperation?

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quote:

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Originally posted by King of Men:
'Pore'. One 'pores' through data. One 'pours' through a colander.

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Well, actually, one "pores over data," unless the data is transparent, I suppose.

It never is, though, and Davidson never rests.

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PS: (and thanks to the otherwise )
 

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Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 

quote:

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I can just picture what "to CT" entails, as well.

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"To enclose self-deprecating qualifiers in brackets or parentheses..."
 

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Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 
*grin* It's a feature. I love your parentheses. I do wonder if it'd be possible to make you think that your parentheticals are themselves an affectation, and thus another form of self for which you'd have to create another form of apologetic internal grammar, but only because I think it'd be fun to see how you'd punctuate it.
 

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Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
 
^
l
l
l_ _ _ *notes Davidson unresting


Presentation of self comes with earmarks. It's a flaw or feature, depending on the perspective.
 

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Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by TomDavidson:
*grin* It's a feature. I love your parentheses. I do wonder if it'd be possible to make you think that your parentheticals are themselves an affectation, and thus another form of self for which you'd have to create another form of apologetic internal grammar, but only because I think it'd be fun to see how you'd punctuate it.

---

Somehow I deleted instead of editing, thus screwing up the conversation. (Heavens. )

Of course parentheticals are presentations of self. When necessary to metacomment on them, perhaps one could use footnotes?

---

Edited to add: And now my brain hurts. Back to the cute kids, please and mercy!
 

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Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 
Careful. That way lies David Foster Wallace. *grin*
 

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Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
 
That is both and .


 

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Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
From the Ketchup Princess. as I got her a snack just now:

(contemplatively) "We cannot eat people because they are hard to eat. Also, if you eat people, you will die."
 

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Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 
I frequently babysit my accompanist's daughter, who is four, and the first time I put her to bed, she informed me that:

"It's important to brush your teeth, because if you don't, you could get cavities... and then you need toothpicks to get the cavities out!"
 

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Posted by The White Whale (Member # 6594) on :
 
I've got one, although it's not from my kids (don't have any), but from when I was a kid.

For a few weeks (according to my mother) I would call my grandmother "Free Grampas." Eventually, my mom figured it out. I knew that my grandfather was "Grampa" and that there was another person at his house (my grandmother). Also, anything more than one was three (or in my speech, "free). So, at my grandparents house, there was "Grandpa" and "Free Grampas."

It doesn't sound as cute as when my mom tells the story...
 

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Posted by SenojRetep (Member # 8614) on :
 
On the way to preschool this morning our 2-year-old was deliberatly mispronouncing Saturn as "Sapurn." Over and over and over.

My five-year-old, voice quavering, tears in eyes, says "Don't make fun of my favorite planet!" She was inconsolable for a few minutes. Then she announced she was naming her first daughter Saturn.
 

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Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by SenojRetep:
On the way to preschool this morning our 2-year-old was deliberatly mispronouncing Saturn as "Sapurn." Over and over and over.

My five-year-old, voice quavering, tears in eyes, says "Don't make fun of my favorite planet!" She was inconsolable for a few minutes. Then she announced she was naming her first daughter Saturn.

---

This sounds like our car rides some days...
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
My oldest has decided that her current favorite phrase is "Verbing weirds language."

I'm so proud.
 

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Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
 
Awesome.
 

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Posted by Tinros (Member # 8328) on :
 
I can only hope my future kids turn out like Hatrack kids.


 

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Posted by theCrowsWife (Member # 8302) on :
 
An exchange this morning:

Daughter (building with legos): Do you want some of this castle salad?

Me: No thanks, I'm still drinking my coffee.

Daughter: Well, you have to at least have a leg.

Me (sputtering): Why is there a leg in the salad?

Daughter: Because there's a pig in there. I cooked up a pig.

...

Daughter: How about some pumpkin pie or a popsicle? Those are in the salad, too.
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
Just now, while watching scenes from the 2003 US Open ISKA (International Sport Karate Association) my 7-year-old very seriously said: "I can't do that. But I can stand on my heels."
 

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Posted by BelladonnaOrchid (Member # 188) on :
 
I can't wait until my daughter (3 mos.) is old enough to start saying silly things. Reading this thread made me smile.

As it is, I remember my brother at age 4 in the car as we were driving out West on vacation asking my Mom, 'When are we going to get there?' and pointing at the sun setting.

My Mother also tells me that when I was nearly 5, my Grandmother would have to watch my brother and I while Mom was at work. One day I walked up to my Grandmother and very calmly told her 'I understand that you feel that we need to be babysat while Mom is at work, but I don't appreciate that,' and then I walked off. Apparently Grandma called Mom at work laughing her head off over that one.
 

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Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
 
I was sitting out my porch last watching my two 7 year old neighbor boys playing football (that's soccer for you Yankees). The one boy is from the states and the other just moved into the neighborhood from Jamaica. They were talking about football teams and players, which eventually turned to talk of news about the CONCACAF cup in Jamaica. The American kid then proclaimed, "Nobody watches the local news, they watch CNN cause they want to know who the gonna be the secretary"."

Then he stopped and said with extreme earnestness. "Did you know that Barack Obama is the first black President of the United States". He then started to sing "doo doo doo" and do a victory dance in the street. It was extremely cute.
 

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Posted by DDDaysh (Member # 9499) on :
 
My son - when we opened the pizza box this evening (plain cheese)

"This is a big pizza. It looks like the moon. Well, not like the moon always, just like the full moon. The crescent moon doesn't look like a pizza." Then he thinks for a minute.
"If you had two crescent moons, they could be a donut! Except, you'd have to sorta squish it like this *pinches his finger together* - but the gibbous moon, it could be a football donut!"

My son tends to just ramble on alot. He went from talking almost none at all as a toddler to now when he lives in a state of permanent narrative. At the moment he's very obsessed with the moon and, of course, Krispie Kreme "football" donuts that my dad has been bringing home lately.
 

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Posted by Darth_Mauve (Member # 4709) on :
 
Sasha, first words to a large stranger with long blonde hair and dark 5-O'clock shadow, met while washing hands in the bathroom, "Your hair looks...strange."

Earlier, "Monsters don't giggle" which I believe would be the title of a great children's book.
 

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Posted by Sala (Member # 8980) on :
 
The elementary school where I work was visited by an accreditation team, very nicely dressed older men, one black, one white. As they walked into the school a group of first graders were returning from the playground to come in as well. One of the boys turned to another boy, and in a loud voice, announced that Obama and McCain were visiting our school! The teachers blushed, the men felt very presidential, and the kids were very excited.
 

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Posted by Astaril (Member # 7440) on :
 
When she was about 6, my niece was in the bank with my sister one day. She sat on a chair to wait while my sister was in line. She got up for a minute and meanwhile an older neighbour of theirs came in and sat down. My niece went back over and said "Hey, you're in my seat!". My sister took her and said "Now, that's not very polite, is it? What would you like to say to Mr. Harrison?" (intending for my niece to say "Sorry, you can have my seat" or something similar.) My niece, however, looks at the man and takes a deep breath and says "I didn't mean to say you're in my seat. I meant to say I'm sorry, sir, but could you please move because I was there first?"
 

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Posted by Lupus (Member # 6516) on :
 
lol.

At work once a little boy (prob around 5 or 6) said loudly. "My sister spent the night at her boyfriend's house." lol, his parents looked like they were somewhere between ticked off and embarrassed.
 

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Posted by SenojRetep (Member # 8614) on :
 
Embarassing moment at the library: My daughter chose "Homeward Bound" as her movie this week. The librarian gushed about how her daughter loved it and watched it over and over. As we were leaving, I asked my daughter to thank the librarian.

"Thank you," she said. Then added "I hope your daughter's brain didn't get smooshed."

Turns out, my wife had discouraged her from playing the same video games all day by telling her that if she did her brain would get mushy. So when the librarian said here daughter watched "Homeward Bound" over and over... brilliant.
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
Astaril, that is AWESOME.
 

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Posted by aiua (Member # 7825) on :
 
My old babysitter just emailed to tell us that she's pregnant. Thinking of her brought this story to mind--
I guess it was summer and I was four or five years old. My parents were working very diligently in the garden and I must have been bored, so I wandered over to our babysitters house. I'm not quite sure how my parents didn't notice my absence, but they didn't, so it was quite a surprise when our neighbors called them some time later, asking if I could come home now. Apparently I had told them that my parents needed some... alone time.
 

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Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
 
Hehe, very considerate of you!
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by aiua:
Apparently I had told them that my parents needed some... alone time.

---

 

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Posted by JennaDean (Member # 8816) on :
 
Too bad they didn't know about it ... I bet they could've used that time better.
 

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Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
That's exactly what I was thinking!
 

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Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
 
Me, upon picking John up from preschool: No, you don't need to take your snowpants, you have another pair at home.

Me, on the way home: Do you want to have your leftover pizza for lunch?

John: No, I want a pear.

Me: I don't think we have any pears.

John: I have another pear at home, and I will eat that pear.
 

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Posted by Bob_Scopatz (Member # 1227) on :
 
I set up the (electronic) drumset in our apartment.

Jps (who has been learning the instruments in the orchestra) was helping.

Jps (pressing on the kick pedal): What's this?

Me: That's the bass pedal.

Jps (going over to the high-hat pedal): And this is the cello pedal.
 

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Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
 
Not my kid. but
Yesterday in the church nursery, I was teaching a lesson on gratitude, and concluded with "what are you thankful to God for right now?". ONe of our three year olds, who happens to be the junior pastor's son, said, "YOU, Jenna!".
 

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Posted by JennaDean (Member # 8816) on :
 
Awww. Makes you feel good, no?

dkw, I had to read yours out loud to get it.
 

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Posted by String (Member # 6435) on :
 
My dad has a slight swearing problem, and since my daughter (3 in May) and I have been speniding alot of time with my parents lately, Cassidy (daughter) has taken to saying "Thats B**l S**t!

an example:

Cassidy: I don't want to watch your TBD (what she calls anything on the T.V. a mix of T.V. and D.V.D.) I wanna watch Caillu!

Me: It's not your turn

Cassidy: That's B-S- (points finger at me)

Me: Excuse me? I told you, we don't say that (Then I picked her up to carry her over to the time out chair.)
Cassidy: 'sorry daddy it not B-S-'

I asked her what we should name our new cat, and she told me "kitty toothpaste Chapin" (Chapin is how she says my last name.)

My favorite though is when I told her that the beach was closed becuase it was winter time, and she said with a wide-eyed you-should-know-this already look "Your a daddy, my can't unlock the beach, only you can."

I do wish she had not picked up the B.S. word though. I try not to give it much of a reaction other than a time-out, but she just thinks it's the greatest thing in the world. Oh well, It seems like my new mantra is "she's two"
 

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Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
My brother used to swear around my kids. I informed him that he will not be allowed around them if he swears around them. He no longer swears around them...

He still says "stupid" though, which is a Word We Do Not Say since Emma picked it up when she was 2. (We say "silly" instead, usually.) Luckily she knows it is a Word We Do Not Say and has been known to exclaim, "Ooooh, Uncle Michael said a BAD WORD!" when he utters it in her hearing.
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 

quote:

---

I asked her what we should name our new cat, and she told me "kitty toothpaste Chapin" (Chapin is how she says my last name.)

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Scott R:
Oh! There are no monsters. That's right! Daddy ate them all!

---

"Who you gonna call?"
 

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Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
 
When the 5 mo old started fussing on the way home today the two year old sang:

The itsy-bitsy Charles was crying in the carseat.
Mommy sang a song and . . . <pause> . . . John sang a song and <short pause> la la la la la.
<hums the rest of the tune>
 

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Posted by Brinestone (Member # 5755) on :
 
Lego sings to Duplo all the time when he's fussy in the car. He'll also chant, "Don't cry, Duplo. We're going home, Duplo. You're okay, Duplo," just like I do.
 

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Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
 
I was watching "Criminal Minds" with all four kids the other night. For those that don't know, it's a show about investigators who track down serial killers. I know, good family fun.

At any rate, a girl was outside trying to talk on her cell phone and the serial killer jumped out and grabbed her. I was surprised, a little, and let out a squeak.

That's when the 11 year old, Em, looked at me and said "Mom, what did you expect in a show like this? Jolly chipmunks?"

A few months ago, my oldest (15) was playing Gears of War on the Xbox 360. We were in a pretty intense moment, bad guys coming up through the floor, blood and guts flying everywhere on screen and she threw down the controller and said "I don't like this game! I'm out of ammo and I want a fuzzy unicorn to come on the screen!"

Which devolved into all the other kids laughing at the concept of an "ammo unicorn" which brings you happiness and cheer when you need it...and more ammunition.
 

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Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
 
John sings a lot, and he often substitutes one or two words, like putting in his name or Charles' name, or inserting the word "cookie" at key points. This was the first time I've seen him try to write new lyrics (almost) from scratch, and it was really funny to see him start, restart, figure out he was in over his head, and then "la, la, la" his way out of it.
 

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Posted by T:man (Member # 11614) on :
 
Pan Laoshi's daughter is so silly!

During a play she didn't understand what was going on, so she was saying very loudly "Oh No! Oh No!"

And whenever they would change the set she would yell "WOW!"
 

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Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
 
My little one isn't so little any more, but I remember when he was about John's age, he was riding his trike on the sidewalk and managed to fall off and scrape his knee. I took him in and washed it and bandaged it and gave it a kiss, so it was all better. Then we went back out, and he got on his trike again, singing loudly, "Oh Susanna! Don't don't cry for me. I come from ballabama with a Band-Aid on my knee!"
 

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Posted by JennaDean (Member # 8816) on :
 
Jolly Chipmunks?!?
 

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Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 
While shopping today, Sophie grabbed me and pulled me towards an animal-print pullover. She pulled it off the rack and held it up against her and said, "Cheetah print! See, Daddy, this is what it's all about."

*cringe* She's not even five.
 

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Posted by Brinestone (Member # 5755) on :
 
Oh, dear, Tom. Oh, dear. *giggles*

Today, we were trying to teach Lego about Christmas. "Why do we give each other presents?" Jon Boy asked.

"Because we like them," Lego answered.
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
Oh! This is my favorite thing my son has ever said. When he was two years old, my husband had a pizza delivery job at night on top of his other job. My son always wanted to "help me pray" which meant to repeat what I was saying line for line. Anyway, one night, our prayer went like this:

Me: Dear Lord
Son: Deeeer Loooord
Me: Thank you for this day
Son: Tank you fordis daaaaay
Me: Thank you for everything you've given us
Son: Tank you *mumble mumble* gibben us
Me: And please bring Daddy home safely from work
Son: And please bring me a pizza
(Ummmm...what? So I tried again, enunciating carefully.)
Me: And please...bring Daddy home...safely...from work.
Son: And please...bring me...a...pizza.

At least his prayers are from the heart.
 

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Posted by scifibum (Member # 7625) on :
 
My three year old just said "Casey took away my crap!"

Me: He took away your...crab?

Him: Yeah, my crap. Casey took away my crap!

Me: Hmm.

<minute later>

Me: He took away your "clapper"?

Him: Yeah, my clapper. Casey took away my clapper!

---

He's got a toy that claps when you pull the trigger.

It's always fun trying to figure out what he's saying so we can help him enunciate it correctly. Earlier today he wanted play dough and I went through pretzels, pencils, puzzles, and completely ran out of ideas until he spotted what he wanted on the shelf and could point to it.
 

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Posted by String (Member # 6435) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by PSI Teleport:

quote:

---

I asked her what we should name our new cat, and she told me "kitty toothpaste Chapin" (Chapin is how she says my last name.)

---

What is up with this? I have a little boy in my Sunday School class with a stuffed horse named Toothpaste. Is toothpaste really so intriguing? Why not Floss? Or Shampoo?

As for the cursing...urgh. My son learned his first curse word from my 78-year-old grandma. She's a special lady, and WAY past reformation. (She still refers to my grandpa, from whom she is divorced, as a "Pistol-Packin' Pecker Head."*) So I let it pass. For my grandma, not my son. Our big struggle is the word "crap". It's been my crutch for a long, long time, but my kids know that it is off-limits, instinctively. I've never had to tell them not to say it, they just know. Over time I've watered it down to a sort of Ned Flanders-esque utterance. Like, "Oh Craaa-gurgle-mickshmurgle."

*Hey, maybe this thread needs a related thread called "My seniors say awesome things."

---

quote:

---

#3
Another day, while working in Rob's office, I heard his wife Connie on the phone in the kitchen. Melissa walked in and started tugging on her saying, "Mommy. Mommy. Mommy." But Connie was in such animated conversation that she didn't even have a chance to stop and say, "Hold on - I'm on the phone right now Melissa." So Melissa just kept going, "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy." After a minute or so of this, Luke (who was now seven) comes into the room and says to Melissa, "Mommy's on the phone right now. Is there something I can help you with?"

---

That's pretty awesome.
 

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Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by PSI Teleport:
Oh! This is my favorite thing my son has ever said. When he was two years old, my husband had a pizza delivery job at night on top of his other job. My son always wanted to "help me pray" which meant to repeat what I was saying line for line. Anyway, one night, our prayer went like this:

Me: Dear Lord
Son: Deeeer Loooord
Me: Thank you for this day
Son: Tank you fordis daaaaay
Me: Thank you for everything you've given us
Son: Tank you *mumble mumble* gibben us
Me: And please bring Daddy home safely from work
Son: And please bring me a pizza
(Ummmm...what? So I tried again, enunciating carefully.)
Me: And please...bring Daddy home...safely...from work.
Son: And please...bring me...a...pizza.

At least his prayers are from the heart.

---

 

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Posted by JennaDean (Member # 8816) on :
 
My four-year-old daughter asked me the other day,

"Mommy, what does 'ear' mean?"

Me (not quite sure why she's asking this): "Ear? You mean like your ears?" (Pointing at my ears)

Daughter, laughing at me: "No, not ears. 'Ear'."

Me: "I don't know what you mean. Can you use it in a sentence?"

Daughter: "Like in 'ear-reversible' change."

That made me grin!

(I think she's been watching too much Sid, the Science Kid.)

[ December 08, 2008, 10:38 PM: Message edited by: JennaDean ]
 

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Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Sid has improved Emma's vocabulary, too. But I was so proud when she turned to me as Sid was driving home in Grandma's car and said, without prompting, "Sid doesn't fit in his carseat. His Grandma should get a new one. And she should have something behind her head."
 

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Posted by Wendybird (Member # 84) on :
 
My 6yo son told us when he grows up he wants to teach 2nd grade at his school. We asked him why 2nd and he said because 2nd graders don't pick their noses!
 

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Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
 
The 2-yr old class is singing “Little Drummer Boy” for the preschool Christmas program. John has been practicing all week. He grabs any cylindrical object he sees, tucks it under his arm and bangs on it while singing. Yesterday at the end of each phrase he would wave his hand in the air and say something that sounded like shakshh. I asked what he was doing, and he answered, “I’m playing the drums, but I have to play the cymbal in my mouth.”
 

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Posted by Brinestone (Member # 5755) on :
 
Hehehe, that's adorable, Dana. You really have a funny kid, and I get the feeling he knows he's funny.

This morning, Lego told me, "This pancake tastes really good, Mommy. It has a new flavor in it."
 

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Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 
While driving home with Sophie last night, "Head Like a Hole" came on the radio. I reached out to turn it, but Sophie asked me to leave it on -- so I did. After about a minute, she said, "I don't know why he's so angry. It's a very good song."
 

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Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
 
John figures that the shepherds had to go to the stable to take care of Mary's little lamb while she had the baby.
 

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Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
 
Aerin is now saying /ba/. I know it's not really talking, but it's a big deal for a 26-week micropreemie with a malformed palate (from being intubated) and developmental delays. It took a lot of hard work and every time she says it on cue, it's like a miracle to us. She communicates via PECS (Picture Exchange Communication System), but it's so amazing to finally hear her little voice.

It's the first step to speech and it's been a long time coming.
 

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Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
 
That's awesome. I remember you saw a speech therapist for eating issues, but I didn't realize how much else you were dealing with. You must be so excited to hear her talk!
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
Okay, so, to preface, this exchange was not going to be as depressing as it sounds like it might have been.

I asked my son tonight, "Do you know who Satan is?"
His response was, "Does he sell donuts? (Bear in mind, he was wearing a pensive expression, complete with the tapping of the chin with the forefinger.)
 

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Posted by Raymond Arnold (Member # 11712) on :
 
I'm curious what led to the discussion of Satan.
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
I'm trying to remember what it was. It had something to do with the resurrection of Jesus, and I was trying to tiptoe around the Satan part. I generally try to leave Satan and hell out of all discussions with my children, but I think it was specifically pertinent. He was asking me about something he read in the Bible. At any rate, Satan got thrown out as a "really bad guy" and we moved along.
 

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Posted by Raymond Arnold (Member # 11712) on :
 
Ah.
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by PSI Teleport:
"Do you know who Satan is?"
His response was, "Does he sell donuts?

---

I really, really hope you said yes.
 

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Posted by Wendybird (Member # 84) on :
 
Seriously - I think Satan invented donuts. Or just sugar in general. He is definitely the motivating force behind soda.

Too cute PSI
 

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Posted by Sterling (Member # 8096) on :
 
Sugar's a human invention. High-Fructose Corn Syrup, now...

My daughter regularly refers to elevators and escalators as alligators.
 

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Posted by TH (Member # 11441) on :
 
This thread rocks. I know I have a million hilarious things my siblings have said, but here's juts a few off the top of my head...

My brother Mark, age 4: "My body says it's time to eat candy."

A few weeks ago, my family went out to dinner, and we all got out of the car and went into the restaurant. I was the last person through the door, and four-year-old Mark held the door valiantly for me. After I was in the restaurant, I said "Mark, thank you for holding the door for me." He replied politely, "You're welcome!" and then paused for a second before adding, "It was very nice of me."

Matthew, age six: "Mom, if you light a match on fire and put it in your mouth, is that basically smoking?"
Mom: "No, that's basically burning your mouth."
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sterling:
Sugar's a human invention.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sterling:
My daughter regularly refers to elevators and escalators as alligators.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Brinestone:
"Do your feelings feel better now?"

---

 

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Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
 

quote:

---

Emma (angry that Maggie pulled her hair): "We shouldn't have had this baby."
Me: "That is not a nice thing to say. Say, 'I am frustrated because the baby pulled my hair.'"
Emma: "I am frustrated that we have this baby."

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by kmbboots:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sterling:
My daughter regularly refers to elevators and escalators as alligators.

---

My family still uses my childhood word "uppalator" for elevator.

---

That's great!
 

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Posted by Achilles (Member # 7741) on :
 
That uppalates my day. Thanks.
 

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Posted by scifibum (Member # 7625) on :
 
It's hard to convey the cuteness, but my three year old has started making up stories, and he draws illustrations for them. (Actually I think he scribbles chaotically and then assigns meaning to the shapes and then comes up with the stories.)

Anyway, last night, he had a long one for us. Pointing to various scribbles:

This is my rocket. Oh no, the rocket explode! I'm in the river in my boat, I am fishing and this is my helmet. My helmet is losted in the river! I have to find it. I find my fishing hat. I am a fisher man.

It went on much longer than that but I don't remember all of it.
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
Random conversation I just walked in on:

My daughter, to my son: You drink beer for breakfast, pirate!
My son: ARRRRR...what? (Then, in a very pirate-y accent) No, really, what did you say?
 

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Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
 

 

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Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
 
Here are the videos of Aerin learning to say /ba/:

Video1
Video2

She's since said "thank you," "I did it," "hi momma," and "help." So exciting.
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
!!! How cool! I've never seen Aerin before either. She's adorable.
 

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Posted by JennaDean (Member # 8816) on :
 
I'm just grinning all over for you, Mrs. M.
 

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Posted by Brinestone (Member # 5755) on :
 
The speech therapist kept putting Aerin's hand to her mouth when saying /ba/. Do you know what that does to help her? I found the video exciting and fascinating at the same time.
 

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Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Yay for Aerin! That's awesome!
 

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Posted by sylvrdragon (Member # 3332) on :
 
One time, I was riding with my (5 at the time) nephew in the car when he looked up at me and asked if I wanted to hear a joke.

Me: Sure
Him: What's green and flies?
Me: I don't know. What?

At this point, he looked up at me without moving his head (out of the corner of his eye, but up a little) with the most mischievous little grin I've ever seen and said

Him: Super Pickle.

I completely lost it...
 

---

Posted by Tinros (Member # 8328) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by sylvrdragon:
I completely lost it...

---

Don't worry, I did too.
 

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Posted by scifibum (Member # 7625) on :
 
My 20 month old surprised me today. I got home late after everyone else had dinner. I heated up my plate and plopped down to eat...she climbed up next to me, and as she often does, asked if I would share with her. "Bite?" she asked.

"I thought you already had dinner!" I responded.

Her little mouth looked a bit wry, as she leaned toward me, putting a hand gently on my shoulder. She looked me in the eye, and softly said -

"Die."
 

---

Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Emma just saw the ROFL emoticon and asked, "Why is he rolling over being happy?"
 

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Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 
Tales of Yanai (friends' 3-year-old... and it took me until I was about 12 or 13 to realize that I'm not actually related to this family, so we're really close!):

Here is what you need to know for the purposes of these stories: Yanai is the cutest little boy in the world. His parents are both deaf (his mother completely, his father almost), and he's really intelligent about this, and maneuvers it really well, especially considering he's three! Yesterday, we had dinner with him and his big family at the grandparents' house. Here are some little anecdotes:

I was pretending to eat Yanai's fingers. And when he just looked at me, I said "what, do you need your hands, or something?" To which he responded, in all seriousness, "No, I already know how to walk."

Yanai was playing with bubble wrap. He went to his grandfather, and said "Saba, did you hear?" and then to his aunt: "Gili, did you hear?" and then his uncle: "Tom, did you hear?" until finally he went around the circle to his mother, and said "Ima, did you see?"

Yanai was trying to tell his mother something. He knows that when he talks to her he has to speak slowly and clearly, always looking at her, so she can read his lips. She didn't understand whatever he said, so he repeated it, more slowly this time, and then said "now, Ima, repeat what I said so I know you heard me!"

SO cute. I'm in love with this child.
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by scifibum:
Her little mouth looked a bit wry, as she leaned toward me, putting a hand gently on my shoulder. She looked me in the eye, and softly said -

"Die."

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by scifibum:
Her little mouth looked a bit wry, as she leaned toward me, putting a hand gently on my shoulder. She looked me in the eye, and softly said -

"Die."

---

Reminded me of this.
 

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Posted by Darth_Mauve (Member # 4709) on :
 
I think this counts.

Today Sasha--now 8-- was with us when we visited the local Goodwill. Its a great Goodwill, with lots of good merchandise cheap. Sasha's been growing well, and out growing pants, so picking up some recycled pants for $5 was our goal.

Sasha found something else.

On one of the counters was a wooden box, with the words "Holy Bible" etched into it along with a cross. Inside the box was a pretty fine family Bible. The cost $4.00.

Sasha looked it all over, than grabbed it and ran to us. "Look Papa, its only $4. And its got the book and everything. Can I have it. Can I."

Our son now owns his own Bible.
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
Wow, Sasha is EIGHT?!?

Time flies when it's someone else's life!
 

---

Posted by scifibum (Member # 7625) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by rivka:

quote:

---

Originally posted by scifibum:
Her little mouth looked a bit wry, as she leaned toward me, putting a hand gently on my shoulder. She looked me in the eye, and softly said -

"Die."

---

O_O

Please tell me she speaks Hebrew!

---

That might explain it.
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
Was that a confirmation?
 

---

Posted by scifibum (Member # 7625) on :
 
No, she doesn't speak Hebrew. AFAIK.
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
Okay, so I really hope this will be taken in the spirit in which it is intended. I was shocked and amused my this. My son was raving about how cool it is that everyone in the world celebrates Christmas, so I had to give him a little reality check. I told him that most people don't celebrate Christmas, and lots of people in our very own town don't celebrate it. I explained to him that some people celebrate Hanukkah during this time period, for example, and they don't celebrate Christmas at all. Needless to say, my kid was fascinated by this concept.

At any rate, there we are, driving around doing Christmas shopping, and my son is singing a sort of Christmas version of The Cheat's theme song when he belts out this one line that made me CRY. It went like this:

"Who's the guys who celebrate Hanukkah?
THE Jewish people. THE Jewish people.
Ummmmm...who's the guys who celebrate Christmas?
Not Jewish People, not Jewish people,
JEWISH PEOPLE. Jewish people."

Of course, at that moment I was very grateful that no one else was in the car with us, but here I am putting it on Hatrack, the one place I'm almost guaranteed to get flamed for it. But I'm just glad my son is developing social awareness.
 

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Posted by Darth_Mauve (Member # 4709) on :
 
Sasha and faith.

Yeah, there we were driving my parents out to go shopping yesterday when 8 year old Sasha decided to become a theological student.

Amongst his questions, for which he wanted answers that were short and simple...

"What is the Bible anyway?"

"Does every Church have there own, or are they all the same?"

"Wouldn't it be great if every church used the same Bible...(meaning every religion used the same Holy Text)."

My Jewish raised father, Lutheran raised mother, and Catholic wife had a fun time trying to answer the questions without stepping on anyone's toes. I was busy driving...and laughing.
 

---

Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by scifibum:
No, she doesn't speak Hebrew.

---

Better keep her teeth slightly blunted then.


PSI, I find that amusing, not remotely offensive.
 

---

Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 
Ditto.
 

---

Posted by JennaDean (Member # 8816) on :
 
I have to write this down before I forget it.

The four-year-old said something about needing to have a bath so we could be all clean for going to Nana's on Christmas Eve.

Her ten-year-old brother said, "Ancient wisdom: The girl is wise."

Four-year-old: "I'm not wise. I just know everything."

We were all laughing out loud.
 

---

Posted by Brinestone (Member # 5755) on :
 
I was just sitting on the couch when Lego approached me with a baby toy that sort of has wing-like things on it.

"Put your Mary blanket on so the angel can talk to you," Lego said.

I did as instructed, then sat back down.

"Stand up so the angel can talk to you."

I did. "What's the angel going to tell me?" I asked.

"It's going to tell you that you'd better have a baby."
 

---

Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 


(Darn. One of my kids said something the other day I meant to post here, and now I don't remember what it was.)
 

---

Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
 
I don't have any kids, so these are Other People's Children stories:

One day I rang my friend's doorbell and her two girls answered. While the older went to get her mother, the 2 1/2-year-old stood looking at me. "You piggy!" she announced.

"I'm a piggy?" I asked her. She just laughed at me like I was being incredibly dense. Then it dawned on me. I was dressed up with a dress, heels, and makeup, and they were used to seeing me in sweats or jeans. "Alayna, are you telling me I look pretty?"

"Yes!" she announced, and went running off in embarrassed giggles. Is it any wonder I've always loved that child?

***
This past summer, I stayed with another friend and her family for several weeks. I shared a room with 6-year-old Lucy, who never had a thought she didn't express, and she has many, many thoughts. She starts the day talking and stops when she finally falls asleep.

I eventually realized that having someone to express herself to was more important than my actually listening, so I stopped paying constant attention after a while. This did not staunch Lucy's endless flow of chatter one bit. But one night I heard her say, "I wonder why I'm lying here on my back just talking and talking and talking?" (I supressed a giggle and refrained from answering, and soon she was on to the next train of thought.)
 

---

Posted by adenam (Member # 11902) on :
 
I was staying somewhere for the weekend and taught the 4yo to wish on dandelion seeds. After wishing for princesses and ponies she suddenly came out with:
"I wish to be a man"

I guess she got over it though becauses at dinner that night she said to her father:
"Abba, you're a man and Ima's not. HA HA HA HA HA"
 

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Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 
Uprooted: my daughter has asked me, while staring up at the ceiling after her bedtime story, "Why can't I fall asleep? I'm just lying here talking and talking and not sleeping at all."
 

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Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
 
Tom, sounds like Lucy has a kindred spirit!
 

---

Posted by scholarette (Member # 11540) on :
 
Not so much said, but amusing still. My daughter has a fisher price nativity set. She repeatedly throws Joseph out and replaces him with one of the kings. Not even two, but already a materialist.
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
BTW, Adena, I don't believe I've welcomed you to Hatrack. So, welcome!
 

---

Posted by adenam (Member # 11902) on :
 
Aww Thanks!
 

---

Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
We were at Target today and Bridget kept climbing on to the empty spaces on the shelves. After hearing us repeatedly tell her to get down, Emma saw her climb back up and said, "Bridget, get off the shelf! You're selling yourself!"
 

---

Posted by scifibum (Member # 7625) on :
 
that is awesome, kq!
 

---

Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
I wonder how much you could have gotten for her.
 

---

Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 


That's great, KQ.
 

---

Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
 
Today I heard: "Daddy, will you send me a telegram?"

I could not figure out where he had learned about telegrams, so I asked. Turns out it was "Teddy Grahm."
 

---

Posted by Tinros (Member # 8328) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by rivka:

quote:

---

Originally posted by scifibum:
Her little mouth looked a bit wry, as she leaned toward me, putting a hand gently on my shoulder. She looked me in the eye, and softly said -

"Die."

---

O_O

Please tell me she speaks Hebrew!

---

I'm lost. What does "die" mean in Hebrew?
 

---

Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 
It means "stop," or "enough." Not quite the same as in English.

Adena, welcome to Hatrack! It's always nice to see another poster use the words "Ima" and "Aba"!
 

---

Posted by adenam (Member # 11902) on :
 
Glad you liked it : ) Here's another

When my sister was about 3 we were celebrating my uncle'd birthday. He's Israeli so my cousins call him Abba. They all kept on saying "Happy birthday Abba" So then my sister waited for everyone to quiet down and said her own "happy birthday abba"
 

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Posted by Shan (Member # 4550) on :
 
My nearly 15 year old son saw "Marley and Me" with a friend yesterday. His friend said that he didn't like the movie at all, to which Nathan replied, "You only didn't like it because the ending made us both cry."

*my sweet boy*
 

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Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 
Sophie, about setting the table for a visiting friend: "We should put something special on her plate so she knows she's a little special, but not quite as very special as me."
 

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Posted by Brinestone (Member # 5755) on :
 
I love children. And your child does sound rather extremely like Lola, Tom.
 

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Posted by DDDaysh (Member # 9499) on :
 
Well - it's not quite stuff they say but... Have you ever watched 5-year-olds trying to play basketball??? My son had his first game yesterday. It was the funniest thing I'd seen in a LONG time! After running back and forth so many times, he would get tired and just sit down on the court! My aunt has SO many pictures of him "taking a knee" and putting his chin in his palm.
 

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Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
 
Brinestone, to answer your question a few pages back - the speech therapist puts Aerin's hand on her lips so that she can feel the proper way to shape her mouth when making the sound. Since Aerin's palate is malformed, she needs to be physically shown how to shape her mouth to make each different sound. It also helps, in a behavior-mod kind of way, to make the gesture a prompt. Aerin has sensory issues with her mouth, so it took a while before she would let anyone shape her lips or cheeks.

We were at shul yesterday and one of the "older" boys (around 5) was following Aerin around. This happens fairly regularly, so we didn't take much notice. During lunch, Andrew got up to stop Aerin from going into the sanctuary (I shudder to think of what she could do there if left to her own devices). Zach had followed her in there and he asked Andrew if he was Aerin's dad. Andrew said he was and Zach said, "Oh, okay," and ran over to his mom. It was much funnier than it sounds. Andrew is very soft-spoken and didn't use any kind of forceful tone. Zach didn't seem visibly upset or scared or anything, but he didn't go near Aerin again. I didn't mention this to Andrew, because he gets self-conscious, but sometimes little kids are afraid of him because he's so tall. He's the tallest man in our shul by quite a lot (he's 6'5'' and very few of our other gentlemen are over 6'). On the other hand, some little kids instantly adore him and think he's the coolest. Last week a little boy came up to him and told him he looked nice and shook his hand. It was hysterical, especially since Andrew had no idea what to make of it.

The 5-year-old twin sons of our friends were telling me about their art class:

Aidan: Tristan doesn't like it because there are too many ugly girls.
Tristan: They're not cute like Baby Aerin.
Aidan: And they probably don't listen to their mommies.
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Raia:
It means "stop," or "enough." Not quite the same as in English.

---

Yeah. I know many stories about young children who have recently come to the US from Israel (or who were visiting) tell strangers in supermarkets "DIE!" Usually to the horror of the stranger (who just got a bit too close, or who was overly enthusiastic about the kid's cuteness, or coat, or whatever) and the mortification of the parent.

(For extra fun with this scenario, the child should speak no English and the parent should be barely fluent in English. )
 

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Posted by Wendybird (Member # 84) on :
 
I recently asked my 6yo what he was doing on my laptop. "I'm just googling". Then the other day I hear him say, "Well when I was on youtube the other day...."

Apparently we need to stricter internet protocols in our house. Never thought I'd need the internet discussion for my 6 yo!
 

---

Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Emma to Bridget, as we watched Bedknobs and Broomsticks: "This is Graham Crackers and Breadsticks."
 

---

Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
"Mexico is made out of corn." -Emma, out of the blue
 

---

Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
 
kq, I wonder if Emma meant mexican food is made out of corn.
 

---

Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
When asked for clarification, she said, "The people who lived in Mexico just planted lots of corn. They planted corn seeds and the corn just grew. Lots and lots of corn, it was just all over. I like corn tortillas."

Just now:

KPC (to me, about Emma, who was rambling a bit): "She just doesn't stop! She goes on and on and on..."
Emma: "And off and off..."
 

---

Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 
*giggle*
 

---

Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Bridget: "I am going on time out now. Emma, you're coming too!"
 

---

Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 
Just now, Haley looked up at me and said: "Daddy go 'neigh!' Daddy! Daddy neigh?"

I replied, "Neigh," at which point she clapped and walked away.
 

---

Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 
Today, playing with a friend:

Sophie: "One is the smallest number."
Friend: "But what about zero? Zero is smaller."
Sophie: "Hm. Yes, zero is very small. True. But zero is really mostly an 'O', and 'O' is entirely a letter and not a number, really."
 

---

Posted by Orincoro (Member # 8854) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by rivka:
I wonder how much you could have gotten for her.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by TomDavidson:
Sophie: "Hm. Yes, zero is very small. True. But zero is really mostly an 'O', and 'O' is entirely a letter and not a number, really."

---

She argues just like her dad.
 

---

Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 
:: snort ::
 

---

Posted by DDDaysh (Member # 9499) on :
 
Yesterday morning my son was making a birthday card for one of my brothers. We were talking and I happened to mention my 18-year-old brother's middle name - Christopher.

My son goes, "No, no Christopher."
I said, "Yes, Brock's middle name is Christopher, just like yours is Jacob."
Son: Nuh uh - I never heard Christopher.
Me: But that is his middle name. You're Azriel Jacob and he's Brock Christopher and Cole is Cole Ryan.
Son: *laughs* That's funny.
(Why he thought that was funny I have no idea, but then I was going to test him)
Me: What's Seth's middle name? (Seth is my 14-year-old brother, the baby of the family)
Son: *rolls his eyes* That's easy. Gregory! Seth Gregory! [Grandma] says that ALL THE TIME!
 

---

Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 

 

---

Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Heh heh heh. That's why they have middle names, you know-- so they know when they're in trouble.
 

---

Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
Precisely.
 

---

Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 
I don't have a middle name! Maybe that's why I was such a good kid.
 

---

Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
Maybe that's why you THINK you were, anyway.
 

---

Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
 
John, while wearing a dinosaur shirt was eating a donut and roaring.

Me: Are you a donut eating dinosaur?
John: No!
Me: Are you a donut eating John?
John: No! I'm John, eating a donut.
 

---

Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 

 

---

Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
A conversation with my daughter, about my friend, Nathalie's, cats:

Jillian: Mom! Alex and Tesla could be married!
Me: Maybe they are married. They like each other.
Jillian: No, they're not married! Tesla already has a husband!
Me: Who?
Jillian, with an exasperated sigh: He's wild, and when he came here it wasn't with his husband, and his husband isn't here, he's in the wild! (Not completely sure which "he's" belong to Tesla and which to the "husband". We're have a bit of a problem with sex-specific pronouns.)
Me: No, Nathalie brought Tesla home when she was little, before she could have a husband.
Jillian: *dramatic gasp* We should get Tesla a husband!
Me: But why can't Alex be her husband? (Keep in mind, Jillian was the one who had this idea in the first place.)
Jillian: BECAUSE. They don't have babies, so that means they aren't in love!

I sense a "facts of life" discussion on the horizon.
 

---

Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
 

 

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Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
 
I love this thread. You parents are all hereby commanded to keep posting.
 

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Posted by Brinestone (Member # 5755) on :
 
Lego was playing with play-doh this morning. He had a flat piece of play-doh and a baby-carrot-shaped piece. He decided the carrot shape was a nose and stuck it in the middle of the flat piece. Next he rolled out a smile and put it under the nose.

"Remember," he told me. "Eyes are like balls, so I'm going to make a ball for his eye."

Yeah, I took a picture of his play-doh self-portrait.
 

---

Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
"Bridget, you are in trouble."
"No I'm not."
"Yes you are. You are in trouble now."
"No, I'm not In Trouble, I'm Bridget!"
 

---

Posted by Brinestone (Member # 5755) on :
 
Hahahahaha! Clever kid.


Lego today, with a measuring tape: "I'm going to weigh how much [Duplo] costs."
 

---

Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
 
Heh. John is in the same phase as Bridgit.

Me: Let's change your diaper, you're wet.
John: No! No, I'm not!
Me: Yes you are.
John: No! I'm not wet! I'm John.
 

---

Posted by scifibum (Member # 7625) on :
 
My kids do the same thing.

"Are you being a goofball again"
"No, I'm being Trevor."
 

---

Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Brinestone:



Lego today, with a measuring tape: "I'm going to weigh how much [Duplo] costs."

---

 

---

Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 
Brinestone, that is ADORABLE.
 

---

Posted by Darth_Mauve (Member # 4709) on :
 
My wife made the mistake of playing one of our Dr. Demento CD's while Sasha was in ear shot. Ever since he's been singing "Polka Dot Undies" at random intervals.

Not the whole song--just "Polka Dot Undies".

Those not familiar with that song, its a song where rude, dirty, and purely x-rated words are replaced with the phrase "Polka Dot Undies". Sasha doesn't understand the references, but just likes saying "Polka Dot Undies".
 

---

Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
First signs of synesthesia in my son, or just general goofiness?

We were eating stir-fry last night, and my son was contemplating a strip of green pepper. "This kind of looks like a snowshoe," he said.
"I think you mean a ski," I said. "Or maybe a sled." (You know, because it was long and skinny and curved up at the end.)
So he licks it veeeeery slowly with his eyes closed then says, "It's a sled."

O_o
 

---

Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
Probably general goofiness.

Got your attention, didn't it?
 

---

Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
Definitely goofiness. But it made a really funny image. Like, what if the only sense you had was taste (and smell, I guess, to some degree), and you had to figure out what things were by licking them?

Actually, forget it. That idea is creeping me out. Sounds like one of OSC's older short stories. (Feel free to use it, Mr. Card. )
 

---

Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
 
We let John sleep in today since he didn't have preschool. When I went in to check on him he opened his eyes, extended both arms to me and said "Carry me to french toast."
 

---

Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by dkw:
We let John sleep in today since he didn't have preschool. When I went in to check on him he opened his eyes, extended both arms to me and said "Carry me to french toast."

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by dkw:
We let John sleep in today since he didn't have preschool. When I went in to check on him he opened his eyes, extended both arms to me and said "Carry me to french toast."

---

Whoa. Tonight, Jon Boy made Duplo "fly" into his high chair. Lego said, "Fly me to my dinner too, Daddy!" Eerily similar utterances.
 

---

Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
My youngest has new glasses frames. They have hinges at the joints that are v-shaped. (Can't find any images online, but the joint is along the ear piece, not at the curve.) Sort of like the tip of a needle-nose pliers.

She has declared that these are fish mouths.
 

---

Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Emma:

"Giants are strong. They are strong as Abba."
 

---

Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
Do they sing "Dancing Queen"?

*rimshot*
 

---

Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 

 

---

Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
You would not believe how long it took me to get that.
 

---

Posted by Marlozhan (Member # 2422) on :
 
Actually, when I read "Abba", the first thing I thought of was the group, and it took me a minute to realize the word was referring to "father."

On another note, my 5-year-old asked me a couple weeks ago: "Does Satan live on this planet?"
Me: "Uhh, I suppose he lives on this planet, but not anywhere around here, and people can't see him."
Him: "Well, then who has to live next to Satan?"
 

---

Posted by Darth_Mauve (Member # 4709) on :
 
My son went through a recent growth spurt.

He outgrew most of his underwear. We got him some new stuff.

He was ecstatic. "I got size 10s. I got size 10s. Time to do the undie dance." And as soon as he put them on, he was dancing.

How many kids love the present of underwear?
 

---

Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Darth_Mauve:
How many kids love the present of underwear?

---

My mom says that I wanted a potty (I announced it to her in the store as she was going past the potty training seats on the way to buy more diapers for me) so I "could wear pretty panties".
 

---

Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 
I used to love getting underwear. And I still appreciate the present of underwear. I'm 22.
 

---

Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 
*makes notes for next Christmas' gift exchange*
 

---

Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 
Ha!
 

---

Posted by adenam (Member # 11902) on :
 
When my older brother first got underwear I took a pair because it had power rangers on it. Eventually I got some with disney princesses but I still think he got the better deal.
 

---

Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
My 9-year-old daughter just explained to me why she says "Ahach!" instead of "Aha!"

It's the Jewish version, just like "Noach" v. "Noah".
 

---

Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by rivka:
My 9-year-old daughter just explained to me why she says "Ahach!" instead of "Aha!"

It's the Jewish version, just like "Noach" v. "Noah".

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I love it!
 

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Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 
Hehe!
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
No. I refuse to do another lame 80's band joke.
 

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Posted by DDDaysh (Member # 9499) on :
 
Marlozhan - that's great! So, who does have to live next to Satan?

Azriel (my 5-year-old) has recently started playing basketball. We have a horrid time trying to get him to stop diving onto the floor every time he runs up and down the court. We thought it was just because he likes to be silly. So, this week we were at my 14-year-old brother's basketball game and two of the kids ended up on the floor fighting for the ball.

Azriel turned to me and said, "See mommy! I told you! When you play basketball, you have to be on the FLOOR! That's what the real players do." Then he turned away from me and crossed his arms over his chest.
 

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Posted by adenam (Member # 11902) on :
 
Random stiory I just remembered:

I once said something to my sister about the 10 Commandments and she said "but originally there were 15 except Moshe dropped one of the tablets" I spent about 10 minutes rolling around on the floor as she turned bright red. The really sad thing is that apparently 1 scene in a Mel Brooks movie is enough to override 15 years of Jewish day school.
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
>_<

*snicker*
 

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Posted by adenam (Member # 11902) on :
 
and I'm never gonna let her live it down
 

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Posted by Traceria (Member # 11820) on :
 
It wasn't my kid who said it, but I was a witness.

I've been in Williamsburg, VA with my extended family on vacation for the past few days. The day we walked through the Colonial Williamsburg area, we checked out this old church (don't ask me the name now), and were looking at some old grave markers outside:
8-year-old cousin #1: Hey, they buried that guy under a plant!
My dad: Maybe it grew there after they buried him.
8-year-old #2: Maybe they buried him and he turned into a tree!!!
 

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Posted by T:man (Member # 11614) on :
 
>.> HAHAHAAAA, hee hee hoo hoo......
 

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Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
 
The other day Lego was playing with some little animal toys at my sister-in-law's apartment. One of the toys was a seal, and I asked Lego if he knew where seals live, expecting an answer like "In the water." Instead he answered, "In Canada!" We have NO idea where he got that.
 

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Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
 
Hehehe...
 

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Posted by scholarette (Member # 11540) on :
 
When my husband leaves, my daughter cries. I tell her, "it's ok, Daddy's combing back." My husband left for classes and went through the backyard to talk to the fencers before he left. Our dog was barking like crazy. My little girl said, "Marsy, it's ok, Daddy's coming back."
 

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Posted by dantesparadigm (Member # 8756) on :
 
I love this thread.
 

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Posted by kmbboots (Member # 8576) on :
 
I hope the fencers were careful with their swords with children and dogs around.
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
You know your kids watch to much anime when you have this conversation with your six-year-old daughter:

Me: Are the cats fighting again?
Jilly: No, they're sparring.
Me: They're sparring? Why?
Jilly: Because they're rivals.
 

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Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
*giggles*

The kids in the car the other day:

Bridget: "Emma, you in crazy!"
Emma: "No, I'm not crazy, I'm just INSANE!"
 

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Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 
Hehe!
 

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Posted by Darth_Mauve (Member # 4709) on :
 
The company I work for teaches elementary kids Magic and Circus Skills (and balloons, puppetry, etc) in after school classes.

OK--we use these fun things to teach important things.

One of our better teachers (and one day famous actress--she plans) mentioned the following conversation that happened last week:

"Do you remember the three rules of magic?"

A child who remembered from the first weeks lesson, "Never tell how its done?"

"Right, anyone else know a rule of magic?"

Another child, "Never do the same trick twice."

"Great. And does anyone else remember the other rule of magic?"

A sweet kindergartner spoke up, "Uh, Never trust the Germans?"

Another, totally unrelated child from across the room added, "Yeah, all Germans are EVIL."
 

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Posted by kmbboots (Member # 8576) on :
 
One day when I was a school librarian, I came across the kindergarten teacher in the corider beside herself with laughter. She told me that she had been going over the rules of the class. One of the rules was not to tell anyone to "shut up."

Teacher: Okay, can anyone tell me what it is that we aren't supposed to say to each other?

Shy girl in pigtails: Um...b***h?

ETA (Let me know if this is too naughty to post and I will remove it.)
 

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Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 
Sophie: "No, Haley! Don't run into the road! For you will surely die!"
Haley: "Die! Die die die!"
 

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Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
 
I feel like a cheat using kids that aren't my own, but I have 15 nieces-and-nephews-to-be and they're so full of good material.

Rose is 4, and we were over at her house around Christmas time and I asked if she knew any funny jokes. She gazed absent-mindedly out the window, telling me a joke that I could tell she was making up on the spot.

"What did the... what did the green Christmas light say to the red Christmas light?"

"I don't know, Rose, what?"

"Um.... you didn't turn off the lights!"

My fiancé and I exchanged smiles. Rose said adamantly, "That was a funny joke. You forgot to laugh."

Another is Adam, who is three and recently enamored of Star Wars. His mom was getting him undressed after church one day, and remarked that his dress shirt was getting to small.

"Yeah, it's too small for me," he agreed. "I can give it to Anakin. Anakin can wear it to..." at this he paused and thought for moment. "No, actually. There's no Sunday in Star Wars."
 

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Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
 
OK, one more. (I had to go verify on my sister-in-law's blog)

The mom is chopping vegetables in the kitchen, and 5-year-old Susanna comes in and asks "Mom, can I have a bikini?"

Mom is a little perplexed. But Susanna comes over and clarifies. Pointing at the zucchini that her mom is chopping, "Please, Mom, can I have some of that bikini?"

"Do you remember what one of these is called?"

"Um.... salami?"
 

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Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by TomDavidson:
Sophie: "No, Haley! Don't run into the road! For you will surely die!"
Haley: "Die! Die die die!"

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Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
 
Ok, sorry. One more from Rose the 4-year-old:

Rose: “Mom, can I hibernate?”

Mom: “What do you do when you hibernate?”

Rose: “First, you eat some food, and then you go in bed, and you sleep, and you wake up in the morning, and you eat some more, and then you go skiing!”
 

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Posted by adenam (Member # 11902) on :
 

quote:

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originally posted by Annie
Rose: “First, you eat some food, and then you go in bed, and you sleep, and you wake up in the morning, and you eat some more, and then you go skiing!”

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Great Priorities!

 

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Posted by Mama Squirrel (Member # 4155) on :
 
At dinner the other night:

Squoose (who just turned 3): "Knock, knock."
Me: "Who's there?"
Squoose: "Banana"
Me: "Banana who?"
Squoose: "I didn't say orange."
 

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Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
 
Ha!
 

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Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 
You know what's funny? Sophie just told that very same joke today (the reverse of what is the traditional reversal).
 

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Posted by Sterling (Member # 8096) on :
 
"You've been very patient on our trip through the supermarket, so I'd like to get you a treat. What would you like?"

"...Can I have a bagel?"

And she was serious. I love my daughter.
 

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Posted by JennaDean (Member # 8816) on :
 

quote:

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"No, Haley! Don't run into the road! For you will surely die!"

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I don't remember who first mentioned it, but now whenever I hear anything from Sophie I hear it in a Lola voice (from Charlie and Lola). It just fits so perfectly.

Any anytime I hear about anything from Squoose, I smile, because I named him.
 

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Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Annie:
"No, actually. There's no Sunday in Star Wars."

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I love that, on several levels.
 

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Posted by SenojRetep (Member # 8614) on :
 
Bryn: "Dad, infinity is bigger than any number, right?"
Me: "Right."
Bryn: "Just like love."
 

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Posted by scifibum (Member # 7625) on :
 
Aw.
 

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Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
 
"Get them out of there!"
"What?"
"There's something fizzing in my foot!"

Nothing on his foot, but very worried look on his face. The light dawns . . .

"Were you sitting with that foot underneath you?"
"Uh huh. And now there's something fizzing in there."
 

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Posted by JennaDean (Member # 8816) on :
 
That sounds like a perfect description of the feeling I used to try to describe to my mother when I was a child. I used to tell her there were worms in my foot. She never could get what I meant.
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
Just be glad you didn't become an episode of House.
 

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Posted by Leonide (Member # 4157) on :
 
Yeah, you might've ended up losing the foot.
 

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Posted by DaisyMae (Member # 9722) on :
 
Just a bit of St. Patty's fun...

While changing my two-month old's diaper my six-year old asked, "Why is her poop green today?"

Me: I don't know.

Her: Probably because it's St. Patrick's Day.
 

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Posted by Brinestone (Member # 5755) on :
 
Lego brought me Radiohead's My Iron Lung this evening and said he wanted to listen to music.

"You have interesting taste," I said. "Go give the CD to Daddy, and he'll play it on his computer for you."

Lego promptly brought the CD to Jon Boy and said, "I want to listen to Interesting Taste."
 

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Posted by ClaudiaTherese (Member # 923) on :
 

 

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Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 
I want a kid.
 

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Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
 
That's super cute, Ruth.
 

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Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Brinestone:
Lego brought me Radiohead's My Iron Lung this evening and said he wanted to listen to music.

"You have interesting taste," I said. "Go give the CD to Daddy, and he'll play it on his computer for you."

Lego promptly brought the CD to Jon Boy and said, "I want to listen to Interesting Taste."

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Does Lego actually prefer Radiohead, or did he just grab random music? I desperately want to believe the former is true.
 

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Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
 
I'm not sure whether he likes Radiohead, but he apparently enjoyed U2's Pop the other day, which I take to be a good sign. He actually likes to dance to quite a bit of my music.
 

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Posted by Traceria (Member # 11820) on :
 
I like to shamelessly steal kid stories from friends. These are way too funny not to post.

quote:

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R: I can't buckle my car seat! The straps were tightened!!
Mom: Who tightened them?
R: GOD did it. God ALWAYS tightens my car seat straps. God always does bad things.
Mom: No, R., God NEVER does bad things. So if tightening your car seat straps is a bad thing, we know God did not do it.
R: Oh. It was the ALIENS. (pronounced OWL-iens).

A few days later, we were all in the car and we were passing by some construction. There were traffic cones, and a blinking arrow sign held in place by sandbags.
R: There's the pigbags.
Mom: What?
R: The PIG BAGS.
J: Those little bags. They have pigs in them.
Mom: lots of little pigs or one big pig?
J: One little pig. With some food in the bag too so the pig stays alive.
Mom: How do they get the pigs to lay still and not walk away?
J: Well, they put pig medicine in the bag too that makes the pig want to sleep. They mix it in with the pig food, so when the pig wakes up he eats a little of the food and then goes back to sleep.
R: Let's stop the car and get a pigbag!
J: Yes and we will take it home and give it good pig food without medicine and then we will have a pet pig!

They were very disappointed that we did not stop the car and get a pigbag.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Noemon:
Traceria, that's great! Do you have any idea how they got the pig bag idea into their heads? Is thier parent going to go find a construction area that isn't heavily trafficked and let them get out and inspect the bags?

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quote:

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Originally posted by malanthrop:
My daughter asked, "What are these bumps on my tongue?"
My wife replied, "Taste buds"
She replied, "oooooh, gross. Taste butts!"

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Reminds me of a funny thing my 5 year old said yesterday. He saw a picture of a Transformer toy in a mailer, and asked "who" it was. (He loves Transformers but only knows the names of 6 or 7 of them.) It wasn't labeled so I tried making up a name. "Sonic...B-" I stalled on thinking of a good B word. He piped up with "Butt!" My wife cracked up (probably thinking of me ). Sensitive kid that he is he quickly came up with "Blast" instead, which I thought made a pretty good Transformer name: Sonic Blast.
 

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Posted by JennaDean (Member # 8816) on :
 
Pig bags?!?

Sonic Blast ... isn't that Sonic's answer to the Dairy Queen Blizzard?
 

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Posted by martha (Member # 141) on :
 
Sonic Blast sounds like a Power Ranger to me. Mystic Force, Jungle Fury, and Sonic Blast.
 

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Posted by scifibum (Member # 7625) on :
 
Well now those sound like energy drink flavors to me.
 

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Posted by Sterling (Member # 8096) on :
 
My daughter: Does my face look clean?
Me: Um... From where I'm standing. Did mommy ask you to wash your face?
Yes.
Then you should wash your face.
But I already did!
Really? When?
Hmm?
When?
{points to the bathroom}
*sigh* Not where, sweetie. When.
When what?
{head against wall} Dear, our daughter has trapped me in a vaudville comedy routine...
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
*giggle*
 

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Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 
Ok, so I spend a lot of my time babysitting and nanny-ing. I may not be old enough to have my own kids, but I am certainly old enough to pass on pearls of wisdom from my charges.

So, Maggie (5):

"What if I caught a star and held it in my tummy and I would glow at night? The wind would blow me up there and bring me back."

"My dad's taller than weasels."

"I'm just like a bag full of food...a talking bag."

"A train is absolutely bigger than corn."

"What if the sidewalk had a part that wasn't there, and you rode your bike and hit something that wasn't there...a pointy thing that wasn't there?" (This one was her trying to grapple with the concept of invisibility...I think.)

"Mommy, have you ever dipped God in ketchup" (My personal favorite -- there was some sort of lead-up to this that explained it somewhat, but I've since forgotten it.)

"My boredness is getting lower. Less and less of me is bored!" (This was said with great excitement during a long car trip.)

"Mom, I'm more about butterflies and glitter." (Said to her mother while shopping with her grandmother to get Maggie an Easter dress. Mom and Grandma picked out several lovely and age-appropriate dresses, while Maggie went for the why-are-there-these-dresses-for-young-children trampy numbers, because she wanted to look like Dancing with the Stars.)

Another set-up here: when Maggie first started asking what thought bubbles or dialogue bubbles are in comic books and such, she said something like, "I had a dream and I couldn't remember something, so I looked up at that cloud above my head to see what I was thinking."

On Election Day last November Maggie got in the car after school and expounded upon Abraham Lincoln as follows:
"Oh, and there's a name I remember. It's Abraham Lincoln. He was sitting down eating popcorn. He was watching a movie, and then they killed him. They had a picture of him after he finished eating his popcorn."

Maggie will periodically pick up some random object in the room, hold it behind her back, and say she has a present for me. She came up to me at one point saying this, but her arm was cocked back over her shoulder as though she'd just done the backswing for a tennis serve. I said, "You're not going to whack me with whatever you're holding, are you?" to which she responded, "No, it's not a whacking present." Hmmm...

Dialogue between Maggie and her mother:
Maggie: Is the world really full of magic?
Mom: Well, no.
Maggie (indignant): Yes, it is!
Mom: How do you know?
Maggie: Because things change. Seasons, months, days...

Naomi (8):

"I want to be the child who sits on Shani's head!"

Leah (6):

(Jamming to her iPod when I walked in the room, looked at me and announced) "You're always beautiful to meeeee!"

(After having made something at WonderLab camp that she didn't want her sister to see) "SHANI! Will you destroy Naomi while I hide this?" (I'm fairly certain she meant DISTRACT Naomi...)

While both girls were in my car, I was playing the Mulan soundtrack for them... When "Reflection" came on, I was singing along and kind of dancing in the front seat, trying to amuse them. Leah looked at me solemnly and said "Shani, you're rocking out too much."

I think that's enough for now...
 

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Posted by Raymond Arnold (Member # 11712) on :
 

 

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Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
 
Dialogue between Maggie and her mother:
Maggie: Is the world really full of magic?
Mom: Well, no.
Maggie (indignant): Yes, it is!
Mom: How do you know?
Maggie: Because things change. Seasons, months, days...

Wisdom out of the mouths of babes.
 

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Posted by aiua (Member # 7825) on :
 
We were at a get-together and this young girl, perhaps four, approached my father and, pointing to his paunch, questioned, "Why are you still eating? You look full."

He passed on dessert.
 

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Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
 
During the last week of pre-K for my 5-yr old son, they went over the letter "Z". When asked to draw pictures of things that start with Z, he drew a zombie. I was so proud of him.
 

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Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Emma: "I am always right. And sometimes a little wrong."
 

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Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 
:: laugh ::

What was the context for that one, KQ?
 

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Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
There was no context. She said it, out of the blue, while helping her sister get her pull-up on.
 

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Posted by dread pirate romany (Member # 6869) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by aiua:
We were at a get-together and this young girl, perhaps four, approached my father and, pointing to his paunch, questioned, "Why are you still eating? You look full."

He passed on dessert.

---

 

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Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by ketchupqueen:
There was no context. She said it, out of the blue, while helping her sister get her pull-up on.

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That's great!
 

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Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 
Another pearl from Leah today:

I was folding a piece of paper in half so that I could tear it along the crease.

Leah looked at me and said "We have scissors, you know. We're not in olden times."
 

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Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Emma (this was actually a while back, but it has become a running joke):

"Cats are tidy, because they poop in their litterbox. Dogs are loosey, because they poop on the sidewalk."
 

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Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Raia:
Another pearl from Leah today:

I was folding a piece of paper in half so that I could tear it along the crease.

Leah looked at me and said "We have scissors, you know. We're not in olden times."

---

 

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Posted by scifibum (Member # 7625) on :
 
My three year old Trevor has adopted a funny pattern of saying certain things:

"Ice cream: Daddy says yes. "
"Go to wal-mart: Mommy says no."
"Do a puzzle: Daddy says yes."

What makes it funnier is he tends to issue these declarations before he knows whether they are true.
 

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Posted by Armoth (Member # 4752) on :
 
My sister was pregnant with my niece and she had to explain to her son what was going on (my nephew)

Mom: A, do you know what Mommy has in her tummy?
A: ::shakes head::
Mom: Mommy has a BABY in her tummy!
A: ::stuffs a pillow under his shirt:: I have an ALLIGATOR in MY tummy!

Different pregnant mom and different kid:

K: Why is your tummy so big?
Mom: I have a BABY in my tummy
K: ::gives a sickened look:: you ATE a BABY?!?!? ::runs away::
 

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Posted by adenam (Member # 11902) on :
 

 

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Posted by Christine (Member # 8594) on :
 
LOL

My 3-year-old is in his why phase, and sometimes he stumps me, like when he asked "Why is the sky big?"

Today topped them all. He asked, "Why is my penis round?"

Um....
 

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Posted by Darth_Mauve (Member # 4709) on :
 
Sasha: Momma, you and Daddy can't dance.
Momma: Why not.
Sasha: Its just odd. Daddy's bald and your old.
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
Christine, because if it were square it would be sharp? You might point out that arms and legs are also "round".
 

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Posted by Christine (Member # 8594) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by rivka:
Christine, because if it were square it would be sharp? You might point out that arms and legs are also "round".

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That occurred to me later, but too late. I have trouble answering these things in the moment and later I'm not sure he remembers.
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
Odds are he'll ask again.

Probably loudly, and in public.
 

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Posted by Christine (Member # 8594) on :
 
LOL
 

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Posted by Sterling (Member # 8096) on :
 
My daughter is spinning back and forth in place while sitting in an overstuffed chair, marker in hand.

My wife: "Athena, careful! Don't get marker on that- thing!"

My daughter pauses, looks back, looks at her mother, and says, "Mommy, that 'thing' is a chair."
 

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Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
 
"I saw a snotty nose today, but it wasn't attached to me. It was attached to a girl."
 

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Posted by Darth_Mauve (Member # 4709) on :
 
Sasha found my old copy of "Win Loose and Draw". He doesn't have this reading thing down perfect yet. He reads most of the words great, but guesses at the difficult one--usually the last one.

Do you know how difficult it is to decipher a 9 year old (yes he turned nine on Thursday) drawing of not-quite common phrases.

My favorite three....

"Strong as an Ax"

"Dark House" (instead of Dark Horse. However, if you've been watching House, it could make sense.)

and my all time favorite...

"Light as a Father."
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 


(9! No way!)
 

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Posted by imogen (Member # 5485) on :
 
Sasha is 9?? Craziness.
 

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Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
 
Oh, my niece used to say "Hot as Blue Blazers!" I loved that one because it made me picture those wool blue blazers that some school uniforms have, and just sweating away in them since it's nearly always too hot here to wear such a thing. I thought it was a great phrase.
 

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Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
 
Another one she used to say is "Get up you lazy bongbong!"
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
I think I cried when my son finally started saying "regular" instead of "reggy-old." It was his last mispronounced word. But I still derive some joy from hearing him read complex words out loud.
 

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Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
 
We still as a family mispronounce some things the way my little brother did when he was young, cause they were just so cute and fun to say that way. He's 47 now and a sysadmin at a large corporation. His early pronunciations of cinnamon, breakfast, and Vietnamese, though, will never die. (cimmanum, breftuss, Vietmanese)
 

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Posted by lobo (Member # 1761) on :
 
K: Why is your tummy so big?
Mom: I have a BABY in my tummy
K: ::gives a sickened look:: you ATE a BABY?!?!? ::runs away::

That one is straight out of Bloom County
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
Tatiana: We do that too. In our family it's callipitter and bavin suit.
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
Me: It looks dark outside. I think it's going to rain.

Jillian: You mean that thing that food grows from?

(Poor children. This is what comes of being born in the desert.)
 

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Posted by DDDaysh (Member # 9499) on :
 
"I don't think that's really a baby. It doesn't look like a fishy, it looks like a blob". - My son, when examining my Sister-In-Laws first sonogram photo.
 

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Posted by scifibum (Member # 7625) on :
 
My middle son, 4:

"Dad? I'm your best kid."
 

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Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 
Tee hee!
 

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Posted by malanthrop (Member # 11992) on :
 
peas = "circle beans"
 

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Posted by Lissande (Member # 350) on :
 
"Tamidi" = tam ideme = let's go over there. We have a sentence! Should I feel left out it wasn't in English...?

Then today, she signed "food", then pointed to Starbucks sign. Not even two years old and successfully brand-imprinted.
 

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Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
 
Ketchup Princess, about 1/2 an hour after she asked where KPC was and I answered that he was stuck in traffic: "Why is Abba trapped in parking?"
 

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Posted by Papa Moose (Member # 1992) on :
 
A couple of my interactions with Squoose this week:

"Daddy. I'm ready to play Candy Land. Are you ready?"

"Not yet. I told you I need to finish what I'm doing, and it will only take a couple more minutes."

"Too bad. I'm ready now. Come over here."



"Daddy, what's wrong with your leg?"

"My knee hurts."

"Well don't do that!"



From Mooselet to Superstation: "That wasn't funny. If Daddy had said it, then it would be funny."
 

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Posted by DDDaysh (Member # 9499) on :
 
My son pulled a classic on me today!

Azriel: Do you know where my rocket blaster game is?

Me: No, where did you put it?

Azriel: Moooooom, if I knew THAT, I wouldn't be LOOKING for it.
 

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Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 
A kid in church this morning:

Pastor: What does "adoption" mean?
Kid 1: If you find a stray dog, and you take him in because nobody else wants him.
Pastor: That's a good definition! Anyone else?
Kid 2: Oh! Also, if you want an elephant, you can find one at the zoo.
 

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Posted by Godric (Member # 4587) on :
 
This isn't funny, but I thought it was awesome...

Audrey stood up on a chair today, pointed at my wife and said, "Ma!" Then she pointed at me and said "Da!" Then, at herself and said "Drey!" Finally, the dog (whose name is Mojo), and said "Boo!"

That's the first time I've heard her try to say her own name. I have no idea why she calls the dog Boo.
 

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Posted by Nighthawk (Member # 4176) on :
 
I think every child, at one point or another, calls their dog "Boo".
 

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Posted by Jhai (Member # 5633) on :
 
My 20-month-old nephew, Sid, was recently visiting us from India (with his parents, of course).

He's still in the process of figuring out names. When he wants one of his parents' attention he'll cycle through all the names he's heard that seem plausible. So to get his father's notice we'd often hear something along these lines:
"Jijoo?" (brother-in-law)
"Depey?" (nickname)
"Dadu?" (grandfather)
"Dada?" (older brother)
and then eventually he'll get around to
"Baba?" (father)

Abhi was promptly named "Keno?" by Sid - which is just the question "Why?" in Bengali. We have no idea.

Then there were our dogs. He's seen dogs on the streets of India before, but has never been in close contact with any, so we were a bit worried about how he would handle our two large dogs.

Panda, the 90-lb Malamute, is a wuss, so we weren't surprised that he was scared of Sid. We were surprised that Sid loved that Panda would back away and then bark at him. The entire visit he'd follow Panda from room to room and talk to get the dog to bark. It became this odd game of hide-and-go-seek with Sid shouting out "Pande No" (pande means teacher/priest) to get the dog's attention while Panda tried to keep a safe distance between himself and the small squealing thing.

They're now back in India, and apparently all dogs he sees are named "Pande No".
 

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Posted by Traceria (Member # 11820) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Jhai:
When he wants one of his parents' attention he'll cycle through all the names he's heard that seem plausible. So to get his father's notice we'd often hear something along these lines:
"Jijoo?" (brother-in-law)
"Depey?" (nickname)
"Dadu?" (grandfather)
"Dada?" (older brother)
and then eventually he'll get around to
"Baba?" (father)

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This sounds like an older gentleman who is a friend of our family. He's always running through every girl's or woman's name in the family (there are a lot of females on this particular side) in hopes he'll hit the right one. Instead of say 60 months, though, he's more like 60 years old.
 

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Posted by Darth_Mauve (Member # 4709) on :
 
Sasha does not like Micheal Jackson. From what he's seen from the recent retrospectives, Micheal Jackson is strange. As we were walking down the aisle of the grocery store, by the Micheal Jackson posters, he didn't even look up as he said, "Micheal Jackson is the weirdest person ever. I bet he never got an A+ on his math test."
 

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Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 
Normal people are good at math?
 

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Posted by SenojRetep (Member # 8614) on :
 
When I told Bryn (5) that President Obama had won 'an important award for ending fighting around the world' she thought hard for a second. Then her face visibly brightened. "It must be because I've been praying for him!" (she prays every night that 'The President will do his job well.')

Which is as good an explanation of the award as any I've heard.
 

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Posted by Armoth (Member # 4752) on :
 
awwwww
 

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Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by SenojRetep:
When I told Bryn (5) that President Obama had won 'an important award for ending fighting around the world' she thought hard for a second. Then her face visibly brightened. "It must be because I've been praying for him!" (she prays every night that 'The President will do his job well.')

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That is so sweet. Politics can be so ugly and depressing. We need more sweetness.
 

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Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by TomDavidson:
Normal people are good at math?

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quote:

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Originally posted by Darth_Mauve:
No Raia. We still aren't sure what explains that.

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Well, as long as we have people on the case...
 

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Posted by steven (Member # 8099) on :
 
Last week I told Skyler that Darth Vader is more-or-less supposed to mean "Dark Father".

When I called her tonight, her greeting was, "Hello, Darth Vader."

Also, she referred to the kids at school as "pointy-headed kids". It's a Dilbert reference.



Both of those got me laughing pretty good.
 

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Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
 
That's cute. And I would just like to say that I think Skyler is a very pretty name.
 

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Posted by happymann (Member # 9559) on :
 
It's probably been years since I posted last, but I have been a faithful lurker. But I could not pass this up.

During a children's Sunday School lesson

Teacher: Name a time when you did something that made your parents proud.

Child: Um, 10 o'clock
 

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Posted by steven (Member # 8099) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Raia:
That's cute. And I would just like to say that I think Skyler is a very pretty name.

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quote:

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Originally posted by happymann:
It's probably been years since I posted last, but I have been a faithful lurker. But I could not pass this up.

During a children's Sunday School lesson

Teacher: Name a time when you did something that made your parents proud.

Child: Um, 10 o'clock

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:: laugh ::

That was definitely a post worth coming out of lurkerdom to make.
 

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Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
 
Ryan having his second bowl of cereal this morning.

"I'm having a double bowl of cereal this morning. No, I'm going to have a triple bowl. No, wait, I'm going to have a fourter bowl."
 

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Posted by DDDaysh (Member # 9499) on :
 
Me: Why did you cut your hair at school???
Azriel: Because I wanted a haircut.
Me: We just got your hair cut on Monday (two days before)
Azriel: But I don't like it.
Me: You picked it out!
Azriel: But I want it to be like Mr. Pollock's.
Me: How does Mr. Pollock have his hair?
Azriel: There's no hair on top, just on the back right here (bends around and fingers the back of his head.

Ugh!!!
 

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Posted by PSI Teleport (Member # 5545) on :
 
My son came in from outside today severely disillusioned that he was unable to find any dinosaur bones while digging up the back yard. I to tell him, you know, that dinosaur bones are usually really far under the ground and not something that one person can dig up all alone.

His response: "I guess I'll have to wait until Bean (his little sister) gets out of the tub."
 

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Posted by dkw (Member # 3264) on :
 
John had a funny one in the car the other day:

John: How are we going to get home?

Me: Well, first we'll take Larpenter Avenue . . .

John: We're going to take Larpenter Avenue?

Me: Yes.

John: How will all the other cars use it, then?
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 
I think his genes are showing.
 

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Posted by Pegasus (Member # 10464) on :
 
My almost 4yr old daughter Ivy has a nerf gun and hands my brother another one, and says "I'm the bad guy, and you're the bad guy AND WE CAN BOTH SHOOT TED!!!"

I'm Ted.
 

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Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
 
I went to my Uncle's funeral a few weeks ago. One of the great grandchildren had been to the viewing the day before. He came in, walked down the aisle and looked up at the casket. "Oh" he said, sounding disappointed, "Pa-Pa's still dead."
 

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Posted by Clive Candy (Member # 11977) on :
 
Today at a family gathering I got to speak to a younger cousin of mine (about to turn three) I haven't seen in a while.

As soon as I started talking to her another cousin of mine got a book, and started pointing out words. The soon to turn 3 cousin of mine read out the words perfectly.

I later brought to her one of those simple kindergarten-esque books, and she pretty much read it aloud perfectly.

Apparently the way they discovered she could read was when at a store, some lady playfully held up a book to her and asked "what is this?" and the lady of course expected "book" but my two year old cousin said the word that was printed on the cover: "Dictionary."

The lady suggested that my little cousin has a photographic memory. She picked up how to read from tv captioning.

[ November 28, 2009, 06:04 AM: Message edited by: Clive Candy ]
 

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Posted by Clive Candy (Member # 11977) on :
 
I'm just concerned about when they enroll her in school at age 5 -- if she could read that well now she'll be fairly ahead of her classmates and it seems kind of cruel to make her go through "ABCs" three years after she's mastered them.

edit: this may be the explanation.

[ November 28, 2009, 05:16 AM: Message edited by: Clive Candy ]
 

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Posted by Sala (Member # 8980) on :
 
Hmmm. Does she exhibit the other traits associated with hyperlexia: difficulty communicating by putting her own thoughts together rather than just reading individual words? Or any other aspects of autism? If not, she may just be a very precocious reader and very intelligent without the hyperlexia.
 

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Posted by Clive Candy (Member # 11977) on :
 
I guess I need to have a discussion with her parents. The thing is they're not very educated so aren't aware of her apparent precociousness perhaps being sign of something else. I might be jumping to conclusions though because the child has other issues (severe skin condition).

The kid is definitely a bit unusual in other ways: she's observant and oddly quiet. Doesn't seem to talk unless spoken to.
 

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Posted by DDDaysh (Member # 9499) on :
 
My son had a cute one when watching a movie the other day.

"Warriors never give up. Even if they're scared, they never give up. Warriors never give up, even if they're hurt, warriors never give up." <long pause> "Except, when they're dead, then warriors give up."
 

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Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
 
Conversation between my husband and my 16 year old:

*the dryer dings*

Hubby: Natalie, the dryer is calling your name.
Nat: Wow, Dad - you speak dryer?
Hubby: Yes, it's saying "Natalie, come get the clothes and fold them and put them away, expeditiously."
Nat: The dryer has a really advanced vocabulary.

 

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Posted by Sala (Member # 8980) on :
 
I love this thread! Great stories.
 

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Posted by BackwardBlackbird (Member # 12224) on :
 
Cute stories! Great thread!

My younger brother loves Pocahontas currently. He sings "sandwiches, sandwiches, baddabadda human!"

He also thinks clothes that come out the dryer smell like donuts. I don't know where that comes from.

I wouldn't worry too much about precocious readers. I clearly remember hauling a 300 page book into my kindergarten class and refusing to read The Cat in the Hat because it was for babies... I was not very popular with my kindergarten teacher
 

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Posted by SenojRetep (Member # 8614) on :
 
Last night Calvin (3) woke up just long enough to say, "Daddy, I want a treat." I went in to his room, by which point he was already drifting back to sleep. As he did, he said, "If you get me a treat...I will give you some...of my <yawn>...money...zzz"
 

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Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
 
My (almost) 2 year old has been having lots of fun lately learning various animal sounds. We have extended this to: "What does a dragon say?" "Roooooar!", "What does Mommy say?" "Happy!" (all the people seem to say happy), and my personal favorite "What does a pirate say?" "Arrrr!" (complete with little grimace and one closed eye).
 

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Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
 
Ludosti, I think it says something for your family life that your 2-year-old believes that all people say "Happy!"
 

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Posted by ludosti (Member # 1772) on :
 
Thank you! It helps that she is an extremely happy person, so her happiness rubs off on us.
 

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Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 
Haley recently saw "Frosty the Snowman," the animated special. Since then, she has been exclaiming "Happy BIRTH-day!" whenever she gets particularly excited.
 

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Posted by Darth_Mauve (Member # 4709) on :
 
Hey, these could win pizza!

Incredible Pizza Company which is like Chunky Cheeses the way the Lord of the Rings movies are like the D&D Movies, is having a contest about kids saying silly things.
 

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Posted by scifibum (Member # 7625) on :
 
Chunky Cheeses? The one I can think of is cottage cheese. What others?
 

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Posted by Brinestone (Member # 5755) on :
 
Lego: When Duplo was in your tummy, you couldn't eat anything.

Me: No, I could. He wasn't in my stomach, where the food goes. He was in another place, especially for babies to live in before they're born.

Lego: Your heart?
 

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Posted by Raymond Arnold (Member # 11712) on :
 

quote:

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Chunky Cheeses? The one I can think of is cottage cheese. What others?

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quote:

---

Originally posted by Brinestone:
Me: No, I could. He wasn't in my stomach, where the food goes. He was in another place, especially for babies to live in before they're born.

Lego: Your heart?

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Awwwww! That is so precious.
 

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Posted by theresa51282 (Member # 8037) on :
 
I told my 20 month old daughter the other day that her friends Ollie and Annie were coming over. She replied very hopefully "Ollie, Annie, Melmo(Elmo) come my house?" Apparently she figured if she just slipped that in there Elmo would have to come. When I told her no Elmo wasn't coming just Ollie and Annie she replied "aw man".
 

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Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
 
Maybe she was complimenting Ollie and Annie by putting them in the same category of wonderfulness as Elmo?
 

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Posted by scifibum (Member # 7625) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Raymond Arnold:

quote:

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Chunky Cheeses? The one I can think of is cottage cheese. What others?

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I can't tell if you're joking or not.

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I suppose he meant "Chunky Cheese Whiz"? That can happen when exposed to air for too long.

When I was a kid.
 

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Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by ludosti:

quote:

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Originally posted by Brinestone:
Me: No, I could. He wasn't in my stomach, where the food goes. He was in another place, especially for babies to live in before they're born.

Lego: Your heart?

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Awwwww! That is so precious.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Scott R:
As my 4 yo was trying to stay awake last night:

"The reason for my great sadness this day is because I have had no ice cream."

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