Hatrack River Forum: Anti-Defamation League expels Satan

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Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :

quote:

"We didn't realize the Lord of Darkness was even a member," said Avi Steinbrenner, spokesman for the group. "We're investigating who exactly let him in. Everything in our power will be done to make sure every vestige of infernal darkness is expunged from our organization."

Satan was unable to be reached for comment. His lawyer, however, said of the expulsion, "The ADL has betrayed its roots. How can a group that proposes as "its ultimate purpose [...] to secure justice and fair treatment to all citizens alike," possibly defend the expulsion of so revered a religious leader as the King of Lies? Its nonsensical; its bigoted, and when Mephistopheles raises his nine-tailed whip over the bloody, bloody world in the Day of Wrath and Misery, they're going to pay. Nagosh t'chullu hram wer'tkcat! No more questions.

Well! I think they were right to expel him.

Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :

[Roll Eyes]

Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :

Made you look, though.

I win!

[Big Grin]

Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :

*pat pat*

Yes, dear.

Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :

:fist pump:

I'm the winner!

Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :

So has the Mormon church gotten around to disfellowshipping the Infernal Lord yet?

Posted by mr_porteiro_head (Member # 4644) on :

Haven't you read any anti-Mormon literature? They believe that he's their brother!

Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :

No. Really, getting your name removed from the ward list takes an act of God.

So, since the Big Guy hasn't said otherwise, Satan's still on the rolls. And he still won't help with moving people.

He does help out in Nursery though-- he's strangely good with kids. Maybe there's something to that whole infant baptism thing?

Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :

[ROFL]

I thought it was funny.

*bestows a dollop from the Ketchup of Righteousness on Scott*

Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Scott R:
So, since the Big Guy hasn't said otherwise, Satan's still on the rolls.

I think you are not paying attention, here:

quote:
And there was war in Heaven, and Michael fought, and his angels. And the dragon fought, and his angels; and prevailed not! Neither was their place found anymore in Heaven.

Now, I know you're going to point out that you were talking about ward lists, not Heaven; that's where you make the mistake, the word that the King James translators took for 'Heaven' is actually much better rendered as "ward list". I suggest you get cracking, then.

Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :

[Smile]

Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :

I'm tempted to start a thread titled "Anti-Dobieation League expels Scott," but then I'd just be part of the problem.

Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :

You can't expel me. I'm not a part of that heinous organization.

I'm its antithesis!

Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :

That's basically what Satan said, yes.

Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :

Scott: It's more of a preemptive expulsion. Whether you're a member isn't really important. What's important is that we send the message "We hate Scott and his stinking guts too."