On my mother's side. He was the last of that generation in my immediate family. He was 92. It was a massive stroke, probably very fast. I don't know if I can get to his funeral. He fought at Anzio.
Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
I am so sorry, was he a part of an ethnically Norwegian regiment?
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
I am sorry to hear that.
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
I'm sorry for your loss.
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
Sorry to hear that KoM. I hope you can make it to the funeral.
Posted by Puffy Treat (Member # 7210) on :
My condolences.
Posted by Sterling (Member # 8096) on :
My sympathies.
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
quote:Originally posted by Blayne Bradley: I am so sorry, was he a part of an ethnically Norwegian regiment?
No, he was in the Royal Navy. My mother's family are Scots.
Not looking good for the funeral. Posted by kmbboots (Member # 8576) on :
I'm sorry for your loss.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope you are able to make it to th funeral.
Posted by Telperion the Silver (Member # 6074) on :
((KoM))
Posted by anti_maven (Member # 9789) on :
Sorry to hear about your Grandfather. Please accept my sympathies. I hope you can manage to get to the funeral.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
I'm very sorry King of Men. Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
Please accept my sincere condolences. I wish for strength and comfort for you and your family in this difficult time.
Posted by ricree101 (Member # 7749) on :
I'm sorry to hear that. Good luck with the funeral.
Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
quote:Originally posted by King of Men: On my mother's side. He was the last of that generation in my immediate family. He was 92. It was a massive stroke, probably very fast. I don't know if I can get to his funeral. He fought at Anzio.
I'm sorry you won't be able to make it to his funeral. The funerals of my grandparents were wonderful experiences. I'm glad I did not miss the mixture of tears and laughter, the opportunity to be surrounded by people who also loved and missed them, and to share fond memories along with the grief.
On a side note, my husband's father also fought at Anzio, he died 17 years ago last month. In the memory of all his children and his wife, he only spoke about it once.
Posted by MightyCow (Member # 9253) on :
That sucks. Posted by brojack17 (Member # 9189) on :
KoM,
I'm really sorry to hear this. You and your family will be in my thoughts.
Jack
Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
I'm sorry, KoM. Wish you didn't have to miss the funeral.
Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
KOM, May I ask why you won't be able to make it to the funeral? Is it something we might help with?
Posted by pooka (Member # 5003) on :
I don't know if it will be of any comfort at this time, but 92 is a pretty good run. If you aren't able to make it to the funeral, I hope you can take the opportunity to do something affirming his memory on your own.
Posted by Goody Scrivener (Member # 6742) on :
My condolences and strength to you and your family. And I agree with TheRabbit, is there any way we can help you get to the funeral?
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
I'm sorry for your loss, KoM. Please do let us know if there's any way we can help you get to the funeral.
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
Thank you all for your kindness. It is essentially a financial problem plus a logistical: Plane tickets on short notice are expensive, and then, there are not many flights between Cincinnati and Dundee in any case. So unless one of you owns a private jet... But thanks for the offers.
92 is indeed a good run - as my mother says, having survived five years in the Med, nothing else was going to bother him. And he went fast when he went. It's sad, but not unexpected; he had that minor stroke around Christmas, although he seemed to be recovering well from that.
My cousin, his second grandson, is off to Iraq a week after the funeral. Grandad survived the sinking of his destroyer off Crete. Let's hope the luck to survive action is passed down.
If I can't make it to the funeral, I will send a letter to be put in the coffin, instead. I don't know what to write, though.
Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
quote:lane tickets on short notice are expensive, and then, there are not many flights between Cincinnati and Dundee in any case.
Many airlines will give you a significant discount on airfare to attend the funeral of a close family member. Don't just check the online sites, call and ask.
You will probably have to show a death certificate and the discount may not be big enough -- but its worth asking.
Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
KOM: I really sorry for your loss. I missed the funerals of both my grandparents on my father's side and though it was something I could not control I still wish I could have gone. I don't think any of us can tell you what you should write, but I am sure a bright guy like you, if he puts some time into it, will come up with something your grandfather would have liked to read.
92 years is a very good run, way to thumb ones nose at the average life expectancy rate for a male. To have done so dispite a World War makes it all the more impressive. Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
I hear you about emergency flights....my wife and I had to take one three weeks ago and it was a disaster. Her father was not expected to make it, but he rallied and is recovering.
The flights were a complete nightmare, and cost about $1000 for us to go even with the "discount" United offered, but that is a tale for another thread.
I am sorry for your loss.
As far as what to write, I can only guess, as I didn't know him, but I would just write how much he meant to me and how much I cared for him. I am sure he knew that during life, but writing it down might help you (and the rest of your family if they are allowed to read it) in this difficult time.
Kwea
Posted by Liz B (Member # 8238) on :
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
Write down the things you would most like to remember about him.
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
I'll be able to make it after all, with a family subsidy. So at least that got solved.
Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
Good News!
Posted by Liz B (Member # 8238) on :
That is good news. I'm glad you'll get a chance to be there.
Posted by The Genuine (Member # 11446) on :
Sorry. Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
It is wonderful when families lend support to each other, especially at difficult times, like yours, when the family has been diminished. I'm glad for you that you'll be able to stand with your family, and to derive and to give strength and support.
Take care.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
I'm glad you can go after all King of Men.
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
So am I; my mother will be glad of the support. Even my sister is flying in, from Singapore no less! I must say I didn't expect that, 18 hours' flight, ouch.
Posted by romanylass (Member # 6306) on :
I am so sorry. But it's good you will get to the funeral.
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
Ok, I'm off now to the airport. See you all later. Thanks for the kind thoughts. Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Safe flight!
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
Um, thanks rivka. I'm back. It turns out that my passport expired four weeks ago. I had my visa and forms I-20 and I-94, and never thought to check the passport. Oops.
Fortunately the Norwegian embassy staff were very helpful. (Sometimes it's useful to be a citizen of a small nation. Personal service!) I shall fly in to Chicago tomorrow, get to the honorary consulate there, they will give me an emergency extension to my passport, and I shall fly to Glasgow on that. Arriving two hours before the funeral starts, at an airport roughly 1.5 hours away. But it may just be possible. At any rate I'll make it to the wake, even if jetlagged.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Oh no!
I'm glad it's something that can be worked around. What a pain!
(Hey, you must be one of the OPTs using the new 17-month STEM extension that was part of my training this morning. Cool!)
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
Pain, indeed. The people running the bank counter at the airport got increasingly amused as I exchanged more and more dollars for quarters, calling this and that Norwegian consulate. The chief one is in New York; but the Chicago one is under the jurisdiction of the one in Minneapolis; who need authorisation from New York to authorise the Chicago one (which is only honorary) to grant me an emergency extension; they had to look up the rules for my old non-machine-readable passport... It was a mess. But we got around it in the end. All honour to the embassy staff, they were very helpful.
I'm not an OPT, I'm on an F-1 visa. I renewed that in Italy last fall, no problems. And made a careful mental note, at the time, to renew my passport when I got back to the US, which I promptly forgot about.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
OPT is a specific extension on F-1 visas. But I forgot that you're still a student (albeit a grad student).
Posted by Shigosei (Member # 3831) on :
KoM, I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather. I'm glad it looks like you'll be able to spend time with your family, even though it's been a hassle. Have a safe (and hopefully early-arriving) flight.
Posted by orlox (Member # 2392) on :
Late condolences as well. And safe travels.
[ April 17, 2008, 04:31 AM: Message edited by: orlox ]
Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
Hope as is well, or at least as well as possible.
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
Well, I got there in the end. With twenty minutes to spare. I was even awake, having slept a bit on the plane, though I conked out halfway through the wake. It was rather a nice eulogy; the minister had known him personally, although my grandfather was not a great church attender. Apparently the bus stop my grandfather used was right in front of the minister's house. He spoke of the seas and the roads, which was very fitting. He was a sailor - called up August, 39, demobbed September, 45 - and then worked on the roads around Dundee, building most of the modern infrastructure there.
We sang "The lord is my shepherd", "Eternal father, strong to save" and "Abide with me". All of his old bowling club was there, and the woman from the bookie's office, and any number of relatives and friends - my father met his old friend who introduced him to my mother, and I got to hear some gossip about that particular meeting which my parents had not relayed to me.
The taxi driver who took me in from Glasgow airport was a bowler, and actually knew my grandfather, though not well. Small world!
The consulate thing just barely worked - the consul actually had to go to a meeting at 1100, which was when my plane came in, but they couldn't get that message to me, so when I showed up at 1300 or so he was out, and the stamp was locked in a safe. He skipped a different meeting to come back and stamp it for me; I was extremely impressed and honoured. I shall write him a letter of thanks.
Then, when I got back to the airport, the moving forward of my ticket by one day had not shown up in the Aer Lingus computers, though it had been in the United ones. Fortunately they had seats and gave me one at no extra charge. They didn't get my kosher meal, though - the flight attendant was most distressed. I didn't tell her I only get them for the taste. She probably thinks I'm a bad Jew, now. :devil:
Posted by Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged (Member # 7476) on :
I'm glad you made it KoM. Losing a loved one is never easy.
Posted by steven (Member # 8099) on :
"...my grandfather was not a great church attender."
Runs in the family, I see.
Which makes the next quote
"We sang "The lord is my shepherd", "Eternal father, strong to save" and "Abide with me"."
even more head-asplodey.
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
I suspect my grandfather believed, at least at the level of not actively disbelieving and just going along with what he was told as a child. He just didn't attend church regularly.
As for songs, music is music, and funerals are for the living. I will make different arrangements when I am the guest of honour. For this one, I kept my disagreements with the minister's spiel internal, and listened to the eulogy instead. Christianity does have the advantage of having had 2000 years to accumulate good music for this sort of occasion. (Well, 400 years if you stick to modern English.) I listen to Communist propaganda music too, without approving the underlying message.
Posted by Tstorm (Member # 1871) on :
I'm not religious, but I've always enjoyed the hymn, "Eternal Father, strong to save". (Just thought I'd throw that in there, not trying to derail the thread from it's purpose.)
Posted by steven (Member # 8099) on :
I love a lot of religious music, without loving the religion. "How Great Thou Art", "It Is Well With My Soul", "Just a Closer Walk", Mozart's "Requiem", Handel's "Messiah", "Silent Night". Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote:Originally posted by King of Men: They didn't get my kosher meal, though - the flight attendant was most distressed. I didn't tell her I only get them for the taste.
Seriously? But the kosher meals are reheated frozen food, and the regular stuff is fresh.
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
That is not my impression - I think it's the other way around. Or maybe the grass is just greener on the other side? Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
If I ordered a kosher meal and it wasn't available, I think that I'd order a ham sandwich instead, just to see if it provoked any kind of a reaction.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
I've never (IIRC) flown Aer Lingus. But on all the airlines I have flown, with the notable exception of El Al, that has been the case.
Huh.
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
Heh. Maybe it's just that airline food is awful anyway, and we are both fooling ourselves about the little tricks we use to try to make the best of it. We just happen to be fooling ourselves in different directions. Ah well. I hope I won't have to fly anywhere for a while.
Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
quote:But the kosher meals are reheated frozen food, and the regular stuff is fresh.
Are you flying first class or something. I can't really speak to the kosher meals, but the regular meals in coach class are certainly not fresh on any airline I've ever been on.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Not all the food. But fresh salad, neh? And fresh bread.
Posted by Mrs.M (Member # 2943) on :
KoM, I'm so sorry for your loss. I am glad, though, that you were able to make it to the funeral. It sounds as if it was a good and proper send-off and gave your family some peace.
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
Thank you, Mrs M. It was a fairly nice funeral, as these things go. I'm glad he had so many friends.
Changing the subject completely, does anyone know anything about estate taxes? It looks as though I am to receive quite a large chunk of money, painfully socked away from my grandfather's pension. If I bring it over here, will I have to pay taxes on it?
Posted by Uprooted (Member # 8353) on :
You might want to start a new thread on that question, KoM. (sorry, I've got nothing.)
Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
KoM, I hope that the funeral contained at least as much celebration of his life as it did grieving for his death.
Without meaning to trivialize the emotions of those who will miss him, the death of a quick 90 year old is not a tragic event. Its the sort of death that comes as part and parcel with birth. Dying quickly and painlessly after 90 years of life, is pretty much the best end to life we can hope for. That sort of death should be celebrated, particularly if the person lead a life worth living.
That doesn't mean tears won't or shouldn't be shed, but those tears should be mixed with laughter and good memories. I hope that as time passes you and all the members of your family will find more happiness in remembering your grandfathers life than you find grief in missing him.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
quote:Changing the subject completely, does anyone know anything about estate taxes? It looks as though I am to receive quite a large chunk of money, painfully socked away from my grandfather's pension. If I bring it over here, will I have to pay taxes on it?
quote:Originally posted by King of Men: Changing the subject completely, does anyone know anything about estate taxes? It looks as though I am to receive quite a large chunk of money, painfully socked away from my grandfather's pension. If I bring it over here, will I have to pay taxes on it?
Back in the early 90s when I was still a graduate student, one of our grad student friends who was from Finland inherited a sizable sum from her father. At that time she didn't have to pay any taxes on her inheritance. But tax laws change all the time so who knows.
It is my understanding that the US "estate tax" is a tax on the estate of the deceased and not on the inheritor of the estate. For most that's likely a legal distinction with no practical application but since your Grandfather was neither a US citizen nor a US resident, I can't see how the US could make a tax claim against his estate. Additionally, in the US as of 2008 the first $2 million of the estate is exempt from estate taxes.
If you stand to inherit more than $2 million, we all think you should at least throw a big party for all your hatrack friends. Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Rabbit's explanation of estate tax matches mine with three minor caveats:
1) "U.S. resident" should read "U.S. resident for tax purposes," which has a slightly different definition than the usual definition of resident.
2) The presence of property owned by the decedent within the U.S. (including all U.S. real property) would create an estate for U.S. estate tax purposes.
3) If there is a U.S. estate here, the exemptions are likely significantly less than those available to U.S. citizens (the general $2 million and the marital exemptions).
Edit: you will need to find an authoritative answer to your question before making tax decisions.
Posted by The Rabbit (Member # 671) on :
However, as I understand it Dag's three minor caveats would apply whether or not you or any other beneficiary of the estate were US citizens or residents for tax purposes.
Posted by Dagonee (Member # 5818) on :
Correct. KoM's tax residency is irrelevant to this portion of the analysis.
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
![[Confused]](confused.gif)
Seriously? But the kosher meals are reheated frozen food, and the regular stuff is fresh.
![[Wink]](wink.gif)