So today i finally gathered my courage and asked this tallish (shorter then me) Hungarian girl out to lunch.
And she said yes! And i was happy, but then she clarified "its not a date right?" and my glow dims out.
So we're going to have lunch this friday as friends. (she said she wasn't ready yet to date since her last bf was an ass)
BUT to clarify this is a good start yet???? Getting my foot into the door so to speak????
Posted by Noemon (Member # 1115) on :
Congratulations on asking her out, Blayne! Doing that can be nerve-wracking, can't it? I'm sorry that the response wasn't as good as you were hoping for, but it's very cool that she was direct and unambiguous in making sure that you understood that it was a "just friends" thing. I don't know enough about the situation to know if there's a chance that she might develop an interest later, but I wouldn't count on it. If I were you, I'd look at this as an opportunity to expand and deepen your base of friends in your area, which is always a good thing, and as experience with asking people out (which is also a good thing).
Posted by Threads (Member # 10863) on :
Of course it's a good start. The surest way to not get dates is to not ask for them.
Posted by Tara (Member # 10030) on :
Cool! Good luck. Posted by porcelain girl (Member # 1080) on :
Way to use that moxie.
Posted by erosomniac (Member # 6834) on :
Awesome - having the guts to ask is a huge first step. One warning, though:
quote:So we're going to have lunch this friday as friends. (she said she wasn't ready yet to date since her last bf was an ass)
BUT to clarify this is a good start yet???? Getting my foot into the door so to speak????
Don't look at it like that. Take it as it comes, but getting to know this girl under the pretense of friendship with alternate intentions only goes well in the movies.
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
Echo what Noemon said.
I mean, hey, there's always hope, but don't hinge your relationship with this girl on it, just enjoy a new friendship for what it is.
If it makes you feel better, I sort of know what you're dealing with. I have a similar though somewhat more complicated situation I'm dealing with at the moment, and I've decided that just being friends for the moment is the best decision.
Posted by Shanna (Member # 7900) on :
Enjoy being friends and think of this as practice for future dates.
Posted by porcelain girl (Member # 1080) on :
Plus even if she is never interested in being more than friends, she may recommend you to other girlfriends as being good company. Ha-cha-cha!
Posted by SteveRogers (Member # 7130) on :
quote:Originally posted by porcelain girl: Ha-cha-cha!
*double takes*
*twitches*
*leaves thread*
Posted by BlackBlade (Member # 8376) on :
Gratz Blayne. Don't take the friends stipulation as a set back. Any sort of meaningful relationship should start out as a friendship anyway. It may turn out that she is fun to hang out with but you'd rather not hang up your clothes at her place if you know what I mean. Congrats on having the courage to ask in the first place! Her saying yes to even hanging out as friends means she obviously thinks your cool enough to get to know.
Posted by porcelain girl (Member # 1080) on :
quote:Originally posted by SteveRogers:
quote:Originally posted by porcelain girl: Ha-cha-cha!
*double takes*
*twitches*
*leaves thread*
How dare you twitch at my Old Man Behavior.
Posted by Saephon (Member # 9623) on :
Congratulations Blayne, it is indeed a big step in the door.
I'd just like to echo BlackBlade up there; the most meaningful relationships, to me, have friendship at their base. I suspect that even marriage is realistically more successful when two people remain great friends, and not just star-crossed lover types.
So my advice to you is: take it for what it is, be polite, don't get all your hopes up for something more, but don't completely shut your head down to the idea and make yourself miserable. Be neutral! Be happy to make a new friend and get the chance to learn about her.
You say her last boyfriend was an ass? Show her how much of an ass you're NOT by being a courteous gentleman and not too fast/pressuring her to date when she's not ready. I'm almost positive it's the best thing you can do right now. Good luck!
Posted by Nighthawk (Member # 4176) on :
quote:Originally posted by porcelain girl: Plus even if she is never interested in being more than friends, she may recommend you to other girlfriends as being good company. Ha-cha-cha!
Does that *really* happen? I mean, if one is good company, would women... well... share?
Posted by adfectio (Member # 11070) on :
I've just got to echo everyone else. Don't assume that it's going to become more. But just be yourself. I don't have any experience in dating guys, but all the girls i know enjoy having a simple friendship.
It may turn out that there may be more too it, but don't expect that. Just be a friend. And if it comes to it that more of a relationship develops, then go with it. Don't don't start imagining that the glass is more full than it is, but more importantly, don't ever forget that it's always at least half full.
Posted by MightyCow (Member # 9253) on :
Awesome that you asked her out. If she says it's not a date, and complains about her ex, don't even think that you'll get to go out with her in the future. Have fun, but she's friend-only material.
Keep asking girls out. And if the girl says, "This isn't a date, right?" it's perfectly OK for you to say, "Yes, it is." If she says, "Oh, I'm not ready to go out again for X reason." You can say, "That's cool, thanks for being upfront about it. Maybe some other time."
Having friends is awesome, but if you're looking for a girlfriend, and the girl isn't looking for a boyfriend, you don't still have to take her out. Just something to think about in the future.
You're doing great though, keep up the good work. You'll be an awesome dater in no time Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
Play hard to get and she'll fall head over heels for you. j/k
Have fun.
Posted by Juxtapose (Member # 8837) on :
quote:Keep asking girls out. And if the girl says, "This isn't a date, right?" it's perfectly OK for you to say, "Yes, it is." If she says, "Oh, I'm not ready to go out again for X reason." You can say, "That's cool, thanks for being upfront about it. Maybe some other time."
Exactly. If she can be upfront about her intentions, you can too.
And I'll add my congratulations with the rest. Playa play!
Posted by anti_maven (Member # 9789) on :
Go Blayne! The rubicon has been crossed!
Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
Congrats, Blayne! And, yeah, good advice up there.
Posted by porcelain girl (Member # 1080) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nighthawk:
quote:Originally posted by porcelain girl: Plus even if she is never interested in being more than friends, she may recommend you to other girlfriends as being good company. Ha-cha-cha!
Does that *really* happen? I mean, if one is good company, would women... well... share?
I just meant that if a woman has a guy friend that she is not romantically interested in, but thinks he's a great guy, she will usually vouch for him to cool girls that may be more inclined to date.
Maybe it is isn't common elsewhere, but it happens all the time in my life-- as both the recommender and and recommended to.
Does that make sense? It is four thirty in the morning and I can't tell if the question was a joke. I'm just trying to shake off the stranger than usual dream I was having.
Posted by porcelain girl (Member # 1080) on :
Oh, crap, that wasn't meant to sound like some set up for a threesome. That is what I get for verbally waggling my eyebrows.
Posted by TheGrimace (Member # 9178) on :
no, no porcelain girl, we can already see where you were going with the initial comment... no backpedaling now <turn off immediate GUY response>
actually I at least took it as intended until you just mentioned the other possibility =p
Posted by Sterling (Member # 8096) on :
Congratulations. Don't wax rhapsodic about your D&D game around her. Posted by Dan_Frank (Member # 8488) on :
quote:Congratulations. Don't wax rhapsodic about your D&D game around her.
Lies! Well okay it may be a bad idea with this particular girl. But that's sad.
You should find a girl who'll wax rhapsodic about D&D games with you.
Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
she plays AD&D.
Posted by Dan_Frank (Member # 8488) on :
Bizarre. Did 3rd Edition not come out in Hungary? Or is she just Old School?
Posted by MightyCow (Member # 9253) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dan_Frank: Bizarre. Did 3rd Edition not come out in Hungary? Or is she just Old School?
3.5! Get with the program. Heck, 4.0 is almost ready.
Good idea to look for a date who shares your passions though. Any girl who role plays with you is a great find. Posted by Blayne Bradley (Member # 8565) on :
I thought 4th Ed was kinda lame.
Posted by Sterling (Member # 8096) on :
Unless she's in said D&D game, my advice stands.
Posted by Dan_Frank (Member # 8488) on :
quote:Originally posted by Sterling: Unless she's in said D&D game, my advice stands.
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