Seriously, I can't even quantify all the jokes that are coming to mind from this story. I know it's war, and it's serious, but come on...
quote: OTTAWA, Canada (Reuters) -- Canadian troops fighting Taliban militants in Afghanistan have stumbled across an unexpected and potent enemy -- almost impenetrable forests of marijuana plants 10 feet tall.
General Rick Hillier, chief of the Canadian defense staff, said Thursday that Taliban fighters were using the forests as cover. In response, the crew of at least one armored car had camouflaged their vehicle with marijuana.
"The challenge is that marijuana plants absorb energy, heat very readily. It's very difficult to penetrate with thermal devices. ... And as a result you really have to be careful that the Taliban don't dodge in and out of those marijuana forests," he said in a speech in Ottawa, Canada.
"We tried burning them with white phosphorous -- it didn't work. We tried burning them with diesel -- it didn't work. The plants are so full of water right now ... that we simply couldn't burn them," he said.
Even successful incineration had its drawbacks.
"A couple of brown plants on the edges of some of those [forests] did catch on fire. But a section of soldiers that was downwind from that had some ill effects and decided that was probably not the right course of action," Hiller said dryly.
One soldier told him later: "Sir, three years ago before I joined the army, I never thought I'd say 'That damn marijuana'."
I was gonna fight the Taliban, but then I got high. I was gonna free Afghanistan, but then I got high. Now I'm lost in Tora Bora, and I know why.. Yeah yeah, because I got high, because I got high, because I got high.
la la la la la la la...
Posted by kojabu (Member # 8042) on :
I was wondering if they were going to mention anything about the burning and "ill effects"
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
"Reports of Canadian soldiers searching the country side in search of 'munchies' have poured in from Afghanistan today. This is perhaps due to the ill effects of the ill advised burning of the local Marijuana Forest, in which insurgents have, as of late, taken up a relaxed residence."
Posted by kojabu (Member # 8042) on :
Heh, are they also contemplating the meaning of the word string? Or possibly just laughing at a piece of string?
Posted by Nighthawk (Member # 4176) on :
In other news, the United States government has signed a twenty-seven trillion dollar contract with Nestle and Mars...
Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
Oh, man. Let's ship them some Crunch bars.
-pH
Posted by Strider (Member # 1807) on :
quote:I was gonna fight the Taliban, but then I got high. I was gonna free Afghanistan, but then I got high. Now I'm lost in Tora Bora, and I know why.. Yeah yeah, because I got high, because I got high, because I got high.
awesome.
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
quote: In other news, the United States government has signed a twenty-seven trillion dollar contract with Nestle and Mars...
:lol:
Posted by Shepherd (Member # 7380) on :
Six soldiers were found incapacitated on patrol this weekend. Early reports indicated a gas attack, or possible biological weaponry introducing halucinagenic side effects. However a follow up investigation has revealed that the soldiers were in fact, stoned out of their minds.
Posted by General Sax (Member # 9694) on :
How is it that in a country that only seems to grow poppies and cannibis the people are so uptight? Is it because we have all the best snacks and and metal spoons? Imagine if we started sending all of our meth cookers over there, if Islam on hash is this bad imagine it on speed!
Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
quote:Originally posted by Lyrhawn: "Reports of Canadian soldiers searching the country side in search of 'munchies' have poured in from Afghanistan today. This is perhaps due to the ill effects of the ill advised burning of the local Marijuana Forest, in which insurgents have, as of late, taken up a relaxed residence."
Beautious.
Posted by Stan the man (Member # 6249) on :
Dude, where's my car?
Posted by Avadaru (Member # 3026) on :
Hehehe.
Posted by MyrddinFyre (Member # 2576) on :
Ill effects... *snerk*
Posted by Stan the man (Member # 6249) on :