About half an hour ago I got home froms school. I was walking along, reading (incidentally, Enchantment). On my block up ahead I saw a guy and a girl who I didn't recognize just seeming to fool around. Then after I passed I realized he was holding onto her wrist and she was saying "I can't I have to write an essay" then he said "You can write it at my house." I don't know. She seemed like she really didn't want to go and it seemed like he was trying to force her to and it seemed like all I did was walk away reading about young Ivan even though I couldn't concentrate anymore.
Posted by Ender12 (Member # 8873) on :
there is nothing that you could have done in this situation (if that's what your worried about), maybe if the circumstances where different like " Come over to my house, my parents aren't home so we can use their bed" and it seemed like she really did not want to go, then maybe you could say something. even if you decided not to I don't think that is a bad choice either because it is her choice and her consequence.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
I would have asked, "Do you need any help?" And if she said no, I would have gone along. If she said yes, I'd ask what I could do to help.
With my luck, though, I'd land up proofreading an essay.
Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
I'd rather proofread her essay than have to fight her grumpy boyfriend.
Posted by MrSquicky (Member # 1802) on :
From what you said, not only doesn't it sound like you should have done anything, it doesn't sound like any of your business. If the girl were pulling away or struggling or making loud verbal protest, it would have been different, but in the situation you described, you'd be wrong if you butted in. In my opinion.
Posted by Goody Scrivener (Member # 6742) on :
(do we have two of these threads or am I losing my mind?)
Posted by Princess Leah (Member # 6026) on :
(there are two.)
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote:Originally posted by Goody Scrivener: (do we have two of these threads or am I losing my mind?)
(Why is this an either/or question? )
Posted by Princess Leah (Member # 6026) on :
(and why is this derailment [as opposed to the 5743895743 others] in parentheses? The mind boggles. I just can't take it anymore.)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! <---outside the bars Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
(I don't know. I just followed the crowd. Baaaa!)
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
I totally would have done something. I would have first of all looked at the guy in astonishment, like "is it possible that you are really doing what it seems like you are doing?" then I would have looked at the girl in a questioning way like "I'm thinking of coming to your rescue here, do you need me to?", then I would have looked very pointedly at his hand on her wrist, and tried to discern how much force he was using. Then I might have said "Hi, what's going on?" in a tone that said in a friendly way, "You've just been busted." Then they would both probably say "nothing, we're fine" or something to that effect, but it would have hopefully given her position a big boost and deflated his. If she actually talked to me, then I would feel she was glad for the interruption and I would chat with them for a while, or walk along with them, and try to give her a way to gracefully exit the situation.
I guess I can handle it like this because I would be the parental figure stepping in. If I were a peer, I would handle it as though I were oblivious of what was going on between them and just bob up and say "Hi, guys! What's going on?" and see how it played out.
I tend to jump in and take responsibility when I see people being bullied or abused in any way, now. This is because when I was a child, I was abused quite a bit until I was around 16, and nobody, not all the adults or parents or anyone, stepped in and stopped it. It's hard to know what to do, sometimes, and we have this instinct not to interfere, but I think it's really important that people understand they are accountable to everyone for how they treat anyone. It *is* our problem.
Posted by pH (Member # 1350) on :
That's a lot of looking in various expressions, Tatiana.
-pH
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
Yeah. When I said that I would ask "Do you need any help?", I failed no mention that I would also be looking at them, and that my eyebrows would be acrobatically semaphoring all kinds of messages.
Posted by Juxtapose (Member # 8837) on :
It would depend a LOT on their body language and tone of voice.
The holding on the wrist is a little worrisome, but could just as easily be innocent.
Posted by TheSeeingHand (Member # 8349) on :
Ok, thanks everyone.It kind of makes me feel better.
Posted by Alcon (Member # 6645) on :
That situatoin doesn't seem at all out of place to me. He very well coulda just been trying to get her to come hang out with their mutual friends instead of burying herself in her homework.
Posted by Tatiana (Member # 6776) on :
Yeah, it's amazing how much of making people behave is in the facial expression and tone. Posted by Will B (Member # 7931) on :
Simply being a witness is often enough to prevent crimes, I think. "Hi, is everything OK?"
Posted by SoaPiNuReYe (Member # 9144) on :
Dude, couples do that kind of junk all the time. I mean I guess I would have to be there, but I wouldn't have done anything unless there was something wrong with the tone of her voice and it was a chick I knew. PS aren't you afraid you're gonna walk into a pole when you're reading like that??
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