I hate this stupid paper. I don't like doing it, I'm not sure how I am supposed to do it, and my professor is blowing me off. On the one hand, I haven't been paying complete attention to class all semester (my fault - I chose to pay attention to other things (Spain, Matt) that I like better). On the other hand, she ignored my e-mails and phone calls, I don't know what I'm doing, and when I ask for help she blows me off. I am supposed to be writing a research paper and I don't even know if my proposed topic is acceptable. I did the best I could on the proposal, which she said needed to be "different" but not how. Apparently I'm just supposed to know.
I'm probably being slightly difficult, but isn't that the point?
Also, I have to miss yet another class next week. My boss is retiring after 40 years, and I HAVE to be at the retirement reception. It would be horrendously rude, impolitic to not be there. IN addition, I want to be. He's been very nice to me, and I made the retrospective video and they'll need me to make it work. I'm dreading the conversation with my professor where I tell her I'll need to miss the third class of the semester, though.
I am also not happy because she canceled a class two weeks ago and didn't let me know. Other people got e-mails and notices, but I didn't. Apparently I was supposed to find out from my other classes, except I'm only taking one. I found out after I drove an hour and a half in traffic to get there.
I actually don't like it. *sigh* I like research, I like studying, and I like my job, but I don't think I like doing academic research about my job. It doesn't feel important. I have to write an essay today that is clearly a busywork exercise.
I feel like I'm being made to jump through pointless hoops, and that torques me. Not only am I being asked to jump through, I don't even know what on earth she actually wants. It's like there's an entire drama occurring in which I don't know my lines, no one will clue me in on the plot, but I will be held responsible for the ending. I HATE this. Posted by MattB (Member # 1116) on :
*hug* Posted by breyerchic04 (Member # 6423) on :
oh that was the sweetest post ever.
Posted by Olivet (Member # 1104) on :
The pointless hoop jumping is actually a HUGE part of any academic endeavor. At least, my experience would tend to indicate that.
In any case *big hug* at least it will be over soon.
Posted by littlemissattitude (Member # 4514) on :
Pointless hoop jumping in undergrad and graduate programs is just university hazing for people who didn't go Greek, as far as I can see. Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
breyerchic: I agree. It's indicative of why I'm toasted now. *twinkle*
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I think the problem is that I decided to be a good student in grad school. I had always done the minimum possible that allowed me to stay in school while pursuing my own interests, but maybe I could do something else. This semester I decided to play Student and try to be the responsible one.
Turns out I had good reasons for blowing off these things before. I hate it, and I'm not convinced that it's important. I'd rather take Greek.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
*bangs head on desk* stupidfrickinpaper
Posted by K.T. (Member # 8665) on :
I'm sorry it is sucking so bad ((HUG))...but to be devil's advocate, or maybe just Pollyana, this semester too will pass. When it is all said and done, it is all said and done!!
Take a brake (without breaking your head) . Find some research to prove that good Professors answer their students' email, then send it to her through email. :tuant:
Hope you get through it. Posted by K.T. (Member # 8665) on :
Okay, my taunt didn't work the first time... Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
I'm so sorry.
I understand, the frustration of academia was driving me mad too, and making me think I didn't want to keep going, even before my health caused me to have to withdraw.
It will be over, and you've been through this type of stuff before, we know you can handle it. Just hang in there, but don't bang your head on your desk - you get a headache that way, and then you'll have to write the paper while your head hurts, which is even less fun.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
I'm still here.
A major hurdle is over, and I am working on a project for work. This is much more fun - I'm making a commemorative slide show for my boss's retirement party next Tuesday. I get to play with Adobe Premiere, and I get to pick the music and titles for it. I will probably ask Hatrack for suggestions - I like classical, but don't know it well. Maybe Narnia or someone could suggest a really good soundtrack. If not, I will be forced to use Harry Potter soundtrack I just got from iTunes. *grin*
It feels nice to have accomplished something, even though I'm far from done.
Posted by Coccinelle (Member # 5832) on :
Kat- I just sent you an e-mail. Sorry it took so long- my internet died for about an hour.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
It's not like I'm going anywhere. I just applied a really horrifying transition in Adobe Premiere, and am trying to figure out how to get it back out. <oops> Thanks for looking at it. Posted by Coccinelle (Member # 5832) on :
anytime I take it ctrl-z doesn't undo it?
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
I have no idea what I did in the first place.
I think it's laughing at me. It's merry. Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
I'm off. The work sequence is mostly good for now, I don't want to do any more homework, and RENT starts in six minutes at the Irving mall. Considering the twenty minutes of preveiws, I have plenty of time to make it.
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