posted
What do you guy's think is the best way for a guy to approach a girl and convey his feelings? I'll let you guy's know why I need this answer in a little bit...
EDIT: Yeah, its a HOW. Thanks for pointing that out.
posted
At this point, I'd recommend inviting said girl to share a meal, preferably after a period of extended acquaintance. But then, I'm married, so I don't have to worry about introductory feeling conveyance any more.
Posts: 3826 | Registered: May 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
It really does depend on the girl. I feel weird when guys I barely know hit on me. Other girls appreciate it.
Anyhow, you deal with guys the same way you deal with girls. Despite my friend's claim that guys and girls are different species, and girls are unfathomable, I think that the differences between males and females aren't as big as some make them out to be. Men and women have a lot of the same fears, desires and dreams. My general mode of operation is to treat my male friends about the same way I treat my female friends. Honestly, there's about as much variation among members of one sex as there are between the sexes. You have to consider people as individuals, not as part of a very large and very variable group.
Posts: 3546 | Registered: Jul 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
If you have to ask that question, I don't think you're dealing with men. Sounds more like boys to me.
Posts: 31 | Registered: Oct 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
A man's feelings of true love should be conveyed sometime well after sexual*relations begin, but before his paramour starts even thinking about dumping him for "not caring".
Girls just wanna have fuh-uhn, yeah-ah Girls just wanna have fun
* And I don't necesssarily mean actually having sex. The when of a sexual relationship's beginning depends on the personalities of the individuals involved, and not on the act itself.
posted
Well, here's what happened: There is a guy at my school, he is one of the librarians(he's NOT the one that looks like Legolas), and he is in student sposored housing too, so we live in the same apartment complex. Well, he comes to visit the other day at around 10ish(people here generally go to sleep at around 12 or 1am) and I showed him some flash videos, well he invites me to a Starschmucks around the corner and we just talked. We went to his apartment to watch a movie and when we came back to my place, it was about 2am by then, he starts acting really weird. Well, he was watching something on the computer and I just get up to doodle on a piece of paper(cause caffeine makes me want to do SOMETHING every moment, I cannot be still at all) and he gets up and starts massaging my back and kissing the back of my neck. At that point I was like, "WTF mate!?" I didn't know how to deal with the situation and I had no intrerest of that type towards him. I just tell him to stop because he is making me feel uncomfortable. He does and later on he just leaves. He had asked me if I had any significant other as we were going for the coffee and I had told him about Michael. Why did he try to pull this off on me when he knew I had feelings for someone else? After much thought, I think that he was just trying to get in my pants. Once again, I do not know how to deal with men. I don't know exactly how a man should approach a girl and tell he he wants something with her, but I am sure that what he did was DEFINATELY NOT THE BEST WAY TO DO IT.
Posts: 3389 | Registered: Apr 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Alt, call me old-fashioned, but if you go out with a guy by yourself until 2am, I think that many of them will probably think you're into them. Even if you talk about another guy while you're with him. I'm not saying he was right or anything, just saying you might be putting across some messages you don't really mean.
Posts: 5948 | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
I know what you mean Jeniwren(Double post'ed!). But I wasn't acting in anyforward way or anything and we didn't even know each other for that much so I still cannot fathom while he did such a thing.
Posts: 3389 | Registered: Apr 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Might ask a girlfriend who knows you well what she thinks. A lot of this is body language, which doesn't translate too well online.
OTOH, this guy just might be a jerk. I'd recommend you not be alone with him again, ever. Just to be safe.
Posts: 5948 | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged |
One of the essential skills of life for women (especially pretty women) is learning how to deal with male attention. I think you're fine for staying out late - it's college! That's what it's for! And I'm proud of you for saying no when he tried something you didn't want.
You're never a bad person or cold or mean or anything for rejecting a guy's attempts. As long as he is not physically too close or tries to intimidate you verbally or physically, then the attempt is not an insult. Saying you're interested in someone else isn't enough to stave it off, and that's okay. He tries, you say no, and life is fine. If he doesn't take no for an answer or else is insulting or intimidating, then don't be alone with him again.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by Altáriël of Dorthonion: What do you guy's think is the best way for a guy to approach a girl and convey his feelings?
I hooked my wife by inviting her to take a nap with me. (Not as weird as it sounds because we had known each other for a couple years and were good friends at the time)
Posts: 68 | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
I've tried several attempts. From the awkward, "uh, would you like to go out sometime?" to the more well thought out approaches. I've been dating my girlfriend for over 4 years now, and I got her by showing up unannounced at her house and inviting her to go for a walk with me. I don't recommend that as a surefire method, however.
posted
Alt, if I was that guy, I'd have probably thought that maybe you were into me, too. Spending a lot of time together, etc. The nervousness or 'acting weird' was him screwing up his courage to make a move.
He made it, you shot him down - it's nothing new. You did nothing wrong, and neither did he. You just misread each other's signals.
Most college guys, it seems, usually do something physical to convey their feelings, as opposed to just blurting out, "I like you" or otherwise bringing it up in conversation. It's an easier way to do things, in my opinion, and it generally avoids the awkward silences that can come up in the, "I have feelings for you. Let's explore that" conversation.
posted
Well, I will say your situation is not unusual. In his mind he was probably thinking that since you had spent all evening with him, that somehow during all that you may have stopped having feelings for Michael and started to dig him a little. He certainly handled it poorly and you certainly did the right thing rebuffing him. That is a wiggy situation and in retrospect I think I might have said exactly what your thought was: Why the heck would you start licking and pawing me after I told you I am into someone else, you cad?!?
Don't try too hard to understand men though. In the words of Bill Envall, they all just want a beer and to see something nekkid. Posts: 1319 | Registered: Jul 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
The only weapon I carry handy is my XACTO knife. Since I'm in an art school, I need it to cut paper very presicely and stuff. I don't like to carry that around though, its definately dangerous. I'll ask my local law enforcement if pepper spray is banned. Every girl needs a key chain with one if those if you ask me.
Posts: 3389 | Registered: Apr 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Actually, I need to know much the same thing. I can never get up the courage to flirt with guys.
EDIT: So, my question is: what is the proper way for a guy to approach another guy, and this flirting thing--how does it work?
Posts: 1735 | Registered: Oct 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Joldo, maybe you should make your own thread, since I'm thinking that our Hatrackers best positioned to advise you may not be actively reading this thread...
Posts: 9293 | Registered: Aug 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Hm? Oh no, I'm mostly kidding. The matchmaker bit's just moking TomDavidson, because the image of him dressed as Yente is almost as fun as Snape dressed as Neville's grandma.
[That is the name, right?]
Posts: 1735 | Registered: Oct 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Well, if I was a gay man and wanted to go out with some other gay or bi man, then I'd probably do the following: MAKE SURE HE IS GAY OR BI -I doubt he will appreciate it much if you ask him out and he is straight. Specially with all this "macho" crap going on. ITS BEST IF YOU WERE HIS FRIEND FIRST -As a girl, I do not like it when strangers ask me to be their girl, its just not right.
I don't think I'd know much more after that. ^.^;;;; Sorry...
Posts: 3389 | Registered: Apr 2004
| IP: Logged |
This is why monkey boy hit on you. The signals women use for friendship with men are pretty much the same as the ones they use for romantic attraction. Men know this, so they never really know whether a woman likes them or likes them until they make that first sexually charged step outside of friendship territory. This also goes back to the often made observation on the forum that most men who are a woman's friend really want to screw her.
posted
Random fact: I was once told I would make a cute gay guy. I never really understood that (does it mean that I'm not a cute straight guy?)
Posts: 1960 | Registered: May 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
IMHO, if you were told you'd make a cute gay guy, you ought to be *highly* attractive to women. Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
A female friend of mine was talking to me (I don't recall what about) and out of nowhere she said "Oh yeah, a gay friend of mine wanted me to tell you that you'd make a cute gay guy." Why I was told this I'm not sure. The female friend knew I was straight (since she was one of the ones who helped me get my first girlfriend).
Posts: 1960 | Registered: May 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Maybe the guy wanted to get it on with you!
I've been propositioned by a gay guy before... in the bathroom, as he tried to get a peek into my urinal... The whole time he was doing this he was clearly trying to flirt with me.
It was very freaky because as most guys know, there's just a "code" you follow when you're in a public bathroom full of guys. You guys know what I mean, right?
posted
Anecdote about one of my gay friends: We were at a theatre to see a show for class, and he went to the bathroom during intermission. Came back almost in a panic and described how he'd been "visually raped" by some guy who tried to peek into his urinal.
From this I surmised that gay men also see generally this as a "code violation."
Posts: 952 | Registered: Jun 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Woah, that's a huge violation of the code. Someone must not have given him the rule book when he was younger.
Posts: 21898 | Registered: Nov 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
I think it's kinda sad the way our society has no intrest in valuing the privacy of menfolk. Women are far more likely to have separated shower stalls, etc.
You'd think for creatures that love going to the bathroom together so much, they'd have no problem sitting on the pot in full view of each other so as not to impede their chatting. Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Yeah. Worst experiences of lack of privacy: middle school showering after football practice (the guys' locker room just has 2 poles with 4 shower heads on each in the middle of an empty room) and the men's bathrooms at the Astrodome (the urinals is just one long metal trough).
Posts: 1960 | Registered: May 2005
| IP: Logged |
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Dont Know]](graemlins/dontknow.gif)
Of course, by that point, I already knew and was already having similar heart palpitations, so it was welcome.![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Blushing]](graemlins/blushing.gif)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
![[Monkeys]](graemlins/monkeys.gif)
