There was a young man from Japan Whose limericks never would scan When asked why this was He answered because I always try to get as many syllables in the last line as I possibly can.
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There was a young man from Perdue Whose limericks stopped at line two
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There was a young man from Verdun
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(And one I remember from an Archie comic, a billion years ago:)
A tutor who tooted the flute Tried to tutor two tooters to toot Said the two to the tutor It's tougher to toot Than to tutor two tooters to toot
Posted by Raia (Member # 4700) on :
My 500 post landmark was a limerick. I'd link to it, but I have to run. I'll do it as soon as I have a spare moment. And people replied to it with limericks, too, which was awesome! Posted by Enigmatic (Member # 7785) on :
My favorite limerick is one I heard from Mr. Eisenstat, my favorite teacher:
A demented old gas man named Peter Was once reading a leaky gas meter. He struck the leak with his light Which blew himself out of sight And as anyone who knows anything about poetry can tell simply by reading this last line completely ruined the meter.
Posted by Katarain (Member # 6659) on :
I don't get the Verdun one. Am I slow?
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
quote:Originally posted by Enigmatic: My favorite limerick is one I heard from Mr. Eisenstat, my favorite teacher:
A demented old gas man named Peter Was once reading a leaky gas meter. He struck the leak with his light Which blew himself out of sight And as anyone who knows anything about poetry can tell simply by reading this last line completely ruined the meter.
He completely ruined the meter long before the last line.
Posted by starLisa (Member # 8384) on :
quote:Originally posted by Katarain: I don't get the Verdun one. Am I slow?
It's a follow up to the Perdue one. Verdun rhymes with one.
Posted by starLisa (Member # 8384) on :
The Star Wars Hexology in Limericks (I wrote this shortly before Episode 2 came out)
The fourth Star Wars movie came first And it led to a decades long thirst For starships and lasers And photons and phasers Its influence wasn't the worst
The second one wasn't half bad Though the freezing of Solo was sad But the biggest plot twist Wasn't Luke's cut-off wrist It was Vader as Skywalker's dad
The third movie sold lots of toys Fuzzy Ewoks the stature of boys Luke's regretting that kiss Now that Leia's his sis And Han Solo is sharing her joys
When George as a matter of course Wanted science-y cause for the Force He hyped up his story 'n Made midichlorian Claiming that it was the source
Penultimate Star Wars will show How the clones Lucas made had to grow Scientifically fake, What a movie they'll make! As the franchise continues to grow...
And what will we see in the end? Now that Anakin's turned on his friend If you fear Palpatine Hope is on Tatooine So let's go back and watch them again!
(Originally George wanted nine But his six flicks will suit him just fine He keeps franchising books And has toy-movie hooks And his bank account's bigger than mine!)
Posted by John Van Pelt (Member # 5767) on :
The battle of Verdun (1916 -- overview, casualties ) is famous for having wiped out almost three-quarters of a million young men in a pointless and brutal battle over a few square kilometers of land. In other words, if you were a young man at Verdun.... end of story.
Verdun also epitomizes the 'loss of innocence' that characterized WWI -- the myth that going to war was a glorious undertaking. Union and Confederate soldiers could have told the Europeans a thing or two, but this realization came very hard, as boys with bayonets faced artillery, shrapnel, nerve gas, and worse. The scale of the industrialized killing machine was just totally at odds with society's glorification of the individual soldier.
If you get to northern France, don't miss a chance to tour the Verdun battlefields. It is a moving experience.
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
quote:Originally posted by starLisa: The fourth Star Wars movie came first And it led to a decades long thirst For starships and lasers And photons and phasers Its influence wasn't the worst
Looks like somebody can't tell Star Wars and Star Trek apart. Posted by starLisa (Member # 8384) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jon Boy:
quote:Originally posted by starLisa: The fourth Star Wars movie came first And it led to a decades long thirst For starships and lasers And photons and phasers Its influence wasn't the worst
Looks like somebody can't tell Star Wars and Star Trek apart.
That's one possibility. Another is that you aren't thinking it through.
It was Star Wars that got people interested in science fiction movies again. Without it, it's unlikely that Star Trek would have returned.
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
I suppose that's one literary interpretation. However, I hail from a different camp of literary criticism in which the author's motives are removed and replaced with my own opinions.
Excuse me. Now I'm going to go right a dissertation on the conflation of Star Wars and Star Trek in popular culture.
Posted by starLisa (Member # 8384) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jon Boy: I suppose that's one literary interpretation. However, I hail from a different camp of literary criticism in which the author's motives are removed and replaced with my own opinions.
Oh. And here I thought you had something of value to add. To anything.
My mistake.
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
I have plenty of sarcasm to add. Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
What this thread needs is more cowbell.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Oh, the cowbell's a wondrous thing When you ring it, it just doesn't "ding" It goes "klong klong klong" The whole sad day long And drowns out those who try to sing.
Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
Winner. Posted by Telperion the Silver (Member # 6074) on :
There once was a fat man from space Who liked to give starships a chase He flew 'round the sun so fast He jumped into the past Why'd that man never lessen his pace?
Posted by T_Smith (Member # 3734) on :
I once went to a thing called WenchCon It's duration was 3 days long Orange Tights she could see My fiance to be How could this marriage be wrong?
Posted by Bob the Lawyer (Member # 3278) on :
Aren't these supposed to be Hatrack limericks? Shouldn't they be something like:
There was a young woman from Hatrack Who happened to have quite a flat rack She wasn't worried, you see For when she hits puberty She'll post on foobonic what men lack.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
(Except the meter is wrong. )
Posted by Bob the Lawyer (Member # 3278) on :
On mine? Well, the syllables per line is right, and the rhyme scheme is right (but rhyming rack and rack is kinda cheating), but it certainly fails the anapest test, I'll give you that.
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
Maybe she was talking about T_Smith's.
Posted by Brinestone (Member # 5755) on :
T_Smith's orange tights were wrong too, but I don't hear anyone complaining about that.
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
(I was complaining about both. )
Posted by Enigmatic (Member # 7785) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jon Boy:
quote:Originally posted by Enigmatic: My favorite limerick is one I heard from Mr. Eisenstat, my favorite teacher:
A demented old gas man named Peter Was once reading a leaky gas meter. He struck the leak with his light Which blew himself out of sight And as anyone who knows anything about poetry can tell simply by reading this last line completely ruined the meter.
He completely ruined the meter long before the last line.
In what way? I don't know enough about the technical aspects of poetry to recognize bad meter unless it's really obvious. The other lines "sound" right to me. That doesn't mean they are right of course, but could you tell me how they're not?
--Enigmatic
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
It's this part:
quote:He struck the leak with his light Which blew himself out of sight
It should be "duh-DUH duh-duh-DUH". Instead, it's "duh-duh-duh-DUH duh-duh-DUH".
Posted by starLisa (Member # 8384) on :
quote:Originally posted by Enigmatic:
quote:Originally posted by Jon Boy:
quote:Originally posted by Enigmatic: My favorite limerick is one I heard from Mr. Eisenstat, my favorite teacher:
A demented old gas man named Peter Was once reading a leaky gas meter. He struck the leak with his light Which blew himself out of sight And as anyone who knows anything about poetry can tell simply by reading this last line completely ruined the meter.
He completely ruined the meter long before the last line.
In what way? I don't know enough about the technical aspects of poetry to recognize bad meter unless it's really obvious. The other lines "sound" right to me. That doesn't mean they are right of course, but could you tell me how they're not?
--Enigmatic
The meter should go:
Da dada da dada da da Da dada da dada da da Da dada da da Da dada da da Da dada da dada da da
The short lines can also be:
Da dada da dada Da dada da dada
So let's have a look:
quote:A demented old gas man named Peter
Had this been "A mented old gas man named Pete", it would have fit. Even "Peter" at the end isn't too bad, because just like the alternative for short lines, the long lines can have that extra hanging short beat. But "demented" is already stuffing an extra syllable in where it breaks the meter.
quote:Was once reading a leaky gas meter.
If you leave out the "once", this line works okay. Not perfect, because the word "meter" has that extra hanging beat, but not terrible. With the word "once" included, it's terrible.
quote:He struck the leak with his light
Sheesh. Maybe "He struck with his light". That'd scan fine. But he's got two completely extraneous syllables sitting in the middle with nothing to do.
quote:Which blew himself out of sight
"Which blew him out of sight" would have worked. The extra syllable in "himself" breaks it. Although the meter was already demolished at that point, so it didn't matter much.
"I got rhythm / I got music / I got my gal / Who could ask for anything more?"
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
Your Shvester's addicted to forums And with a real lack of decorum Will post day and night (Her rate's out of sight -- Or certainly more than the norum).
Posted by Enigmatic (Member # 7785) on :
Thanks for the very thorough response! I suspect the problems there are more likely the fault of me not remembering it perfectly than of the original author. Looking at it, I especially think I may have added the first words in lines 3 and 4 while typing, breaking it into separate sentences when it should have been one. Though that still leaves 1 extra syllable in line 3, I think. Would this revision work:
A crazy old gas man named Peter While reading a leaky gas meter Struck gas with his light Blew himself out of sight And as anyone who knows anything about poetry can tell simply by reading this last line completely ruined the meter.
If I'm understanding the explanation correctly, that seems to fit. Sorry for the minor derailment for Remedial Poetry lesson, folks.
--Enigmatic
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
Yup, that works. Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Much better. Posted by Enigmatic (Member # 7785) on :
Thanks. I hate the thought that I was ruining what I'd always thought was a clever limerick because I can't remember the beats right. In my defence, I was in 4th grade when I heard it.
--Enigmatic (Trying to come up with praise for Jon Boy in limerick form. Failing.)
Posted by starLisa (Member # 8384) on :
quote:Originally posted by Tante Shvester: Your Shvester's addicted to forums And with a real lack of decorum Will post day and night (Her rate's out of sight -- Or certainly more than the norum).
<wince>
Posted by starLisa (Member # 8384) on :
quote:Originally posted by Enigmatic: Thanks for the very thorough response! I suspect the problems there are more likely the fault of me not remembering it perfectly than of the original author. Looking at it, I especially think I may have added the first words in lines 3 and 4 while typing, breaking it into separate sentences when it should have been one. Though that still leaves 1 extra syllable in line 3, I think. Would this revision work:
A crazy old gas man named Peter While reading a leaky gas meter Struck gas with his light Blew himself out of sight And as anyone who knows anything about poetry can tell simply by reading this last line completely ruined the meter.
If I'm understanding the explanation correctly, that seems to fit. Sorry for the minor derailment for Remedial Poetry lesson, folks.
--Enigmatic
Perfect!
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
There once was a thread on the Rack Where amateur poets did hack "Your meter is wrong!" It's a poem, not a song!" Cried critics so sure of their knack.
Posted by starLisa (Member # 8384) on :
quote:Originally posted by Elizabeth: There once was a thread on the Rack Where amateur poets did hack "Your meter is wrong!" It's a poem, not a song!" Cried critics so sure of their knack.
Very nice.
Posted by Treason (Member # 7587) on :
Originally posted by Tante Shvester: Your Shvester's addicted to forums And with a real lack of decorum Will post day and night (Her rate's out of sight -- Or certainly more than the norum).
you posting "harlot!" (I din't want to say the other word that fit there)
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
quote:Originally posted by starLisa: <wince>
Sorry.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
Tante, I thought it was awesome. Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
Garsh! Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
I have an idea; let's see if this works:
A Once They And some more Now all day!
I think it scans!
Posted by John Van Pelt (Member # 5767) on :
A Hatracker's handle is gold - You'll want one that never grows old. But remember, dear Newbie, What happened to Doobie... His name is a joke, I am told.
Posted by Treason (Member # 7587) on :
! that was funny !
Posted by John Van Pelt (Member # 5767) on :
A 'Quero, once spiteful, grew mellow, Though we'd all gotten used to his bellow. 'Toss your hat on the rack, Take another one back.' This guy was a whole different fellow.
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
There once was a 'racker named Shvester. At posting speed no one could best her. Never going to bed Helped her watch every thread, And the newbies, oh how they did pester.
Posted by John Van Pelt (Member # 5767) on :
It's hardest to put into verse - The meter and rhyme make it worse - How Hatrack survives, Nurtures, bustles and jives, Without stumbling, or sounding too terse.
Posted by Treason (Member # 7587) on :
I'm watching my roomate play games. The talk in his headset is lame. He curses and yells and makes horrible smells. And then it's my dog that he blames.
That's my first ever limerick! Did it come out ok?
Posted by starLisa (Member # 8384) on :
quote:Originally posted by Tante Shvester:
quote:Originally posted by starLisa: <wince>
Sorry.
Don't be. It was hilarious. But word bending gets a wince. <grin>
Posted by starLisa (Member # 8384) on :
quote:Originally posted by Treason: I'm watching my roomate play games. The talk in his headset is lame. He curses and yells and makes horrible smells. And then it's my dog that he blames.
That's my first ever limerick! Did it come out ok?
It came out great!
Posted by Treason (Member # 7587) on :
Lisa- !!
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
I really sould pack for the trip Yet I sit here and post like a dip The laundry's not done And it just won't be fun If I don't get bit of a grip
Posted by Jonathan Howard (Member # 6934) on :
I've told you I don't like haiku, For its writing enfolds me in blue; But a lim'rick is nice To have written down thice: And this lim'rick's presented to you:
There once was a man from Berlin, He used to get drunk in the inn, Every day till midnight, Lest he’d sense there was light, And he never thought it was a sin.
Man! That German was almost insane, Every night he was drunk to the vein! “Please, just help him, alright? Oh, just please!” – every night, Every night – said the barman in vain.
May he live and be sober once more He’d be able to walk – not on four, Else we’d feel he’s gone “Rest in peace”, and we’d mourn, (‘End this lim’rick, or you’ll be so sore!’)
May his soul be forever serene! And in this way our conscience be clean, Till we help him, “but how?” “End his misery, now!” So why won’t we be, just once, mean?
Posted by Jonathan Howard (Member # 6934) on :
I kill threads.
*Transforms into a thread.* *Suicides.*
Posted by Treason (Member # 7587) on :
Jon Howard is such a big goof, He never pretends he's aloof. He sticks his nose in and yells, "Hey, let's begin to frolic and wisecrack and spoof!"
Posted by Treason (Member # 7587) on :
PS. BE HAPPY!
Posted by Jonathan Howard (Member # 6934) on :
I'm depresséd, and that you can see, For depression just took over me; Yet I must credit you, For you cared for me too - Though I reckon it's just arbitr'y.
Posted by Will B (Member # 7931) on :
I read this somewhere, but it's worth repeating.
First off, it seems that I'm cursed; I'm a poet who gets time reversed. Reversed gets time Who poet a I'm Cursed I'm that seems it off, first.
Posted by Jonathan Howard (Member # 6934) on :
The order of the words is a little wrong. Here's the revision:
First off, it seems that I’m cursed; I’m a poet whose time gets reversed. Reversed gets time Whose poet a I’m Cursed I’m that seems it off, rst.
Posted by Treason (Member # 7587) on :
To Jon - I know what it's like to be there. Depressed and with no one to care. So I give you some hugs- they're much sweeter than drugs 'cause I don't want you to despair.
Love, Nikki
Posted by Jonathan Howard (Member # 6934) on :
Thank you, Treason, yet I got lashes, From what's going on in The Ashes; If Australia's to win, Then to victory begin AU's march, so the English team crashes.
Posted by Jonathan Howard (Member # 6934) on :
But the Ashes was England's to gain On account of bad light and much rain, So I curse in a hiss, As the urn gets a kiss From the captain - Australia was slain.
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![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
![[Blushing]](graemlins/blushing.gif)
![[The Wave]](graemlins/thewave.gif)
![[Kiss]](graemlins/kiss.gif)
![[Group Hug]](graemlins/grouphug.gif)
![[Monkeys]](graemlins/monkeys.gif)
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all day!