quote:

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I am just adjusting my mindset to accomodate the fact that lust is very strong in guys.

---

I hate comments like this, they are a cop out. It isn't jsut guys, although they are more likely to be overt about it. Thinking like this, and acting like it is true, makes it seem ok, because they are "just" guys, and "everyone KNOWS that is what guys are like"...which is a load of crap.


I played flute for 13 years, and I know what type of conversation women have. I wa almost "one of the girls", not because I was gay (I wasn't, and still am not ) but because I was always there around them, they only guy in a section of 33 flutes. Also, I wasn't anyones idea of a hunk then...I was not shy, but I was very private, and non-threatening compared to a lot of guys that age.


I have never heard such frank, honest talk about sex and sexual thoughts as AI did locked in a sectional with them.


Sex is a big deal to guys at least in part because they have always been told that it should be..after all, they ARE guys...


See where I am going with this? It is demeaning to say that guys are any more a slave to their lusts than women are, despite the common myth.

We are just less subtle than women are about it, at least in public.


Kwea
 

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Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
 
Phanto, you might seriously want to consider taking a self-defense course. It sounds like you're worried, perhaps even scared, and you need to learn how to protect yourself so you can relax a bit.

Good luck.
 

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Posted by Lyrhawn (Member # 7039) on :
 
Amen Kwea. Well spoken.
 

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Posted by Altáriël of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
 

 

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Posted by BryanP (Member # 7772) on :
 
Speaking from experience, guys think about sex quite a bit. And lots of guys will look at attractive women and think how they would have sex with that woman. But that doesn't mean that those same guys will get the impression that they can just go right ahead and sleep with that woman (though some will if the woman dresses in an extremely suggestive manner). And just because guys think about sex a lot does not mean they are incapable of treating a woman with respect. Sure, I think about it, but I would never want to have sex with a woman I didn't feel very strongly for and know extremely well beforehand. And that's how most guys I know are, but they aren't all like that. You have to find the good ones.
 

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Posted by Altáriël of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
 

quote:

---

"God is a very funny person. Take sex for example, there is nothing funnier than the faces you people make midcouitous."
"Sex is a joke in heaven?"
"The way I understand it, it's mostly a joke down here too."
-Movie, Dogma

---

Anyhoot, how can I look out for guys that treat sex as a joke? There those that are obvious about it, but what about those that are more cunning?
 

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Posted by Altáriël of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
 
Hello? Anyone on?
 

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Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
 
Well, first of all when they talk to you they look you in the eyes. The eyes ABOVE the neckline...

Everyone thinks about it at times...it's what they think of it that makes it interesting.

I tell my wife about pretty women all the time, but that doesn't mean I would sleep with them even if I wasn't married. She tells me if she sees a guy she think is hot too. We are confident enough with ourselves and with each other to know that we will be fine, even if we do find someone else attractive.

I trust her, and she me, so we see that stuff for what it is...superficial.
 

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Posted by Altáriël of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
 

quote:

---

Well, first of all when they talk to you they look you in the eyes. The eyes ABOVE the neckline...

---

Anyhoot, I'll follow your advice Kwea, thank you.
 

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Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
 
It took me a long time to find my wife, but even with all the trouble and pain that happened before I met her, it is still worth it.

As a matter of fact had I met her any earlier I probably wouldn't have dated her...I wasn't ready until then.

For each thing there is a time and a season...
 

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Posted by Altáriël of Dorthonion (Member # 6473) on :
 
True. There a few guys out there that I regret going out with.
 

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Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Bob_Scopatz:
If I recall correctly, there were some studies that said that on average it was once every two minutes for the average teenage male.

---

Well, let me tell you there must be some quite sex inclined guys out there to make up for the scarce times when I and my high school friends thought about sex!

More important problems for us were what computer game just came out, "how do you pass that tricky place where you have to (etc)", how much of my math homework I still have left, when does my favorite football team play again, and so on and so forth.

Sex? Yeah, we thought about sex from time to time, but it was more like "Yeah, she's beautiful, sex would be interes... Oooh, I still have 2 problems to finish before the teacher comes!" No "picturing" and stuff like that. For that most of us had our "special folder" which didn't leave much for imagination but was good enough at that age.

quote:

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Anyhoot, how can I look out for guys that treat sex as a joke? There those that are obvious about it, but what about those that are more cunning?

---

Uh, well, it's veeeery easy: which situations might be interpreted as signals for wanting to have sex with someone? Avoid them if it's not what you want. If you have a boyfriend let him know how you feel about it. Don't have sex to form/keep a relationship. Don't have sex just 'cause everyone does it. If you tell a guy this most of us would get it that you speak seriously and won't try to force you. If someone does try to force sex on you, well then it's time you part ways with that person.

And yeah, I understand it can be difficult to talk about sex with a partner especially at that age. Most people want things to "flow naturally", but that flow might not be so smooth if both partners aren't looking for the same thing. With my ex-girlfriend I had some talks before deciding to go ahead with it. Not the most romantic thing perhaps, but it was to be a first time for both of us and none of us wanted to take it lightly. neither I, nor she weren't* going to break up with the other if she/he didn't want to have sex right away; but it just seemed a natural part of our relationship. If for you it does not, then that's that.

* "weren't" / "wasn't" ?!
 

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Posted by Sean (Member # 689) on :
 
Does anyone know how those studies were done? If I was keeping a count of the number of times I thought about sex in a day, the answer would be inflated a fair bit because of the circumstances. And what counts as thinking about sex, anyway?

I suppose you could hook them up to some kind of brain scanner without telling them what it's about, but "this bit of brain is active every two minutes" seems like a weaker claim than "guys think about sex every two minutes".

I'd look it up but I'm somewhat leery of spending much time googling for sex at work.
 

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Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
 
Yeah, I wonder how those studies were made as well. And it's not like people pay attention to how many times they're thinking about sex. Nor would I be inclined to trust a teenager who says he thinks of sex all the time. Might be he's just trying to sound "cool"...
 

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Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
 
The very act of observing or recording such data will influance the outcome of the study, it is a well documented factor in these types of studies.

It's like saying "Don't think about an elephant." . . . how long does it take for someone to think of one once they are told that?

I forget the actual name of the effect, and I am on my way to work so I have to go, but it is a very real factor.

quote:

---

And yeah, I understand it can be difficult to talk about sex with a partner especially at that age.

---

quote:

---

Perhaps having sex with that person isn't such a good idea then. If you can't talk about it wiht them, then having it with them is probably a mistake.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by quidscribis:
Phanto, you might seriously want to consider taking a self-defense course. It sounds like you're worried, perhaps even scared, and you need to learn how to protect yourself so you can relax a bit.

---

quote:

---

Edit: How old are your friends, NinjaBirdman, if you don't mind me asking? I wonder what are the chances that they're acting like that girl from American Beauty who pretended to have had sex with lots of men just to be "interesting"...

---

Between 19 and 23 mostly, a few younger, a few older.
 

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Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
 
Ok, I think I've met them! Seriously, I know of a few people that age who act like that - sometimes while they're drunk too, so they'd have more "courage". But I don't think they're a majority, at least not in my "circles". By the way, I'm 24 and my friends would be in the 20-25 age bracket, so it's pretty much the same thing.
 

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Posted by Sid Meier (Member # 6965) on :
 
Phanto, the more people who hit on you it just means your beautiful. Beany yeah, its fun playing with fire and explosives.

As for that other stuff... Not all that often, mostly when I go to bed or if I see an attractive girl, however I don't have fantasies unless she's really hot but I restrain myself, all I do is say hi and wish I was ten pounds thinner. I'm the "nice guy" in the room usually.
 

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Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 

quote:

---

Phanto, the more people who hit on you it just means your beautiful.

---

quote:

---

Phanto, the more people who hit on you it just means your beautiful.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Beanny:
One self-defense course is kind of useless if it's a big hulk you're facing.

---

quote:

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Phanto, the more people who hit on you it just means your beautiful.

---

quote:

---

I swear I thought Phanto was a dude.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by El JT de Spang:
Any guys, any age.

---

You *obviously* haven't been around computer geeks! Seriously now, you know you are making a waaay too broad statement here, right?
 

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Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
 

quote:

---

when guys are in a group with no women around, they all think and talk about sex a lot more than they would otherwise.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by katharina:

quote:

---

when guys are in a group with no women around, they all think and talk about sex a lot more than they would otherwise.

---

This is weird. Why do they do that?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by katharina:

quote:

---

when guys are in a group with no women around, they all think and talk about sex a lot more than they would otherwise.

---

This is weird. Why do they do that?

---

quote:

---

This is weird. Why do they do that?

---

quote:

---

El JT de Spang, computer geeks ALWAYS talk about which comp char is hotter then another one, take FF7 fpr instance there's always endless debates about whether or not Aeris is better looking then Tifa.

---

quote:

---

And Corwin - again, maybe it's just that my friends and I have a locker room mentality, but it's rare to hear one of them say he wants to date a girl. The manly way to say this is to say that the girl is hot. It's understood that this means the guy likes her. Otherwise, he'll say "she's hot, but I'm not into her".

---

quote:

---

Even computer geeks have testosterone.

Maybe they don't talk about girls and sex as much they talk about (insert hip new computer topic here), but they still think about it.

By the way, you mean to tell me that computer geeks don't talk about who's the hottest game character?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sid Meier:
I'm pretty sure Phanto is a girl unless she/he/it is an amphotite or bah however you spell it.

---

Nice word. Now if we could just find a meaning for it... By the way, you were thinking of hermaphrodite, weren't you?

Oh, and I'm also quite sure Phanto's a girl, I think it was mentioned / implied a lot of times.
 

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Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
 
I get Phanto mixed up with Zotto.
 

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Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
 
Phanto-Zotto salad. Sounds nice. Edit: Zotto-Phanto?
 

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Posted by El JT de Spang (Member # 7742) on :
 
I don't think one of my friends saying that a girl he works with is hot makes him a sexual predator. None of us are consciously acting "manly". People develop familiar patterns within a group dynamic. They fall back into regular rhythms, topics, banter.

And again, when your friends talk about liking a girl, that's talking about sex.

My statement was that guys in a group think about sex (read - women) more than when they're alone.
 

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Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
 
Edit: This is in response to Jim-Me. . . I had to stop in the middle and do some work.

I may be in the minority, but I do not go out on dates with people who approached me randomly and introduce themselves. I am a mean, unfriendly, grumpy person, and I consider them a nuisance and wish they would leave me alone. I only date people I meet in social settings and have a chance to get to know before being asked out or asking them out.

Social settings may include school, work functions, church, parties hosted by mutual friends, in the pursuit of shared hobbies, and internet forums and/or bulletin boards, but do not include any sort of on-line dating services. One time on a plane trip I got in an engaging conversation with the person sitting beside me, and if he would have asked for my number at the end of the flight I probably would have given it to him. But if someone approaches me in a bar or coffee shop or bookstore or whatever and tries to start up a conversation? Nope.
 

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Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by El JT de Spang:
My statement was that guys in a group think about sex (read - women) more than when they're alone.

---

You said "a lot more than they would otherwise". And I think I'll just say that I think it's not true, not for my friends, and certainly not for other guys too. (I'm not THAT unique! )

quote:

---

Originally posted by El JT de Spang:
I don't think one of my friends saying that a girl he works with is hot makes him a sexual predator. None of us are consciously acting "manly". People develop familiar patterns within a group dynamic. They fall back into regular rhythms, topics, banter.

---

Sorry, I've been reading that in connection to the general direction of the thread. Of course it doesn't make them sexual predators. Made too many connections there. Anyway, there's another thing here: not all groups include talking about sex in their routine. Maybe it depends on how many common subjects they have in the first place too.

quote:

---

Originally posted by El JT de Spang:
And again, when your friends talk about liking a girl, that's talking about sex.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by ElJay:
Edit: This is in response to Jim-Me. . . I had to stop in the middle and do some work.

I may be in the minority, but I do not go out on dates with people who approached me randomly and introduce themselves. I am a mean, unfriendly, grumpy person, and I consider them a nuisance and wish they would leave me alone. I only date people I meet in social settings and have a chance to get to know before being asked out or asking them out.

Social settings may include school, work functions, church, parties hosted by mutual friends, in the pursuit of shared hobbies, and internet forums and/or bulletin boards, but do not include any sort of on-line dating services. One time on a plane trip I got in an engaging conversation with the person sitting beside me, and if he would have asked for my number at the end of the flight I probably would have given it to him. But if someone approaches me in a bar or coffee shop or bookstore or whatever and tries to start up a conversation? Nope.

---

That's probably a good policy, since it makes it more likely you won't go out with some psycho dude who is likely to harm you in some way.

But out of curiousity, would you go out with someone who was in, say, a class with you, but whom you didn't know very well? So you've seen him, he's familiar, and he comes up and says he wants to get to know you. What then?
 

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Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
 
I think there's a big difference between being asked out by a guy you know or at least are familiar with, and being "hit on" by (almost) random strangers. BryanP has probably put a better question...

The thing is, if it's someone who you've been around before chances are he knows you further than just how good you look; and so he might genuinely be interested in the person. Yeah, you probably haven't noticed him much, but he has.

But if a guy you just met, or who happened to be in the same bar with you just comes up to you and asks you on a date, or whatever, what does it say about him?!

Anyway, I'll shut up and let the women answer now.
 

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Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
 
BryanP: If he comes up and asks me on a date, nope. If he strikes up a conversation on the way out of class and it's an interesting, engaging conversation and I want to keep talking to him, I'll find a way to keep talking to him. If that leads to a date later, cool.

Also, I am not one of the people who insist that the guy has to do the asking. I've asked guys out before, and have no problem with it.

Corwin: That's one of the reasons I don't go out with guys who approach me on the street or where-ever. I don't like going out with people who are asking me out based solely on how I look. I'm okay with it being a factor, just not the only factor they know about me.
 

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Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally psoted by ElJay:
Social settings may include... internet forums...

---

Hey ElJay, wanna go on a date?
 

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Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
 
As long as the guy I'm seeing doesn't mind. . .
 

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Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
 
Drat, twinky beat me to it!

:sits back, eats popcorn waiting for ElJay's rejection:

Edit: Oh, double-drat! Too late even for that... So, is he on Hatcrack yet?

Oh, and ElJay, I really like your attitude!
 

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Posted by Sid Meier (Member # 6965) on :
 
lol
 

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Posted by fugu13 (Member # 2859) on :
 
<innocent>I forget ElJay, who did you say that was?</innocent>
 

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Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
 
*giggle*

Thanks, Corwin. I've found what works for me. *shrug* Everyone's different.
 

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Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :
 
ElJay, FWIW, you seem to be not at all who I was talking to and I heartily approve of your methods.
 

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Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
 

quote:

---

Perhaps it's just imprecise language, but we are talking about "getting hit on" and "making passes" which doesn't conjure images of sexual assault... more like saying "hi... what's your name? can I buy you a drink?"

Would some of you mind clarifying this?

---

There's a big difference betweeen a pass and a first move. A guy coming up to you and asking you about the book you're reading is a lot different than the guy sitting next to you on the Greyhound saying "You look just like my ex wife, and my ex wife was hot. She was a crazy b*ch though."

One assumes that you're a human being, the other assumes that the right combination of words will convince you to go home with him.
 

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Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
 
Oh, also, El JT - where in Montana did you go to school?

You're not a Grizzly, are you?
 

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Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 
As the hints keep escalating, I keep wondering what you two are going to have to do to make people realize.
 

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Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
 
I think it's Don't Ask, Don't Tell at this point.
 

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Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Annie:
the guy sitting next to you on the Greyhound saying "You look just like my ex wife, and my ex wife was hot. She was a crazy b*ch though."

---

I really feel sorry for any guy that thought that was a pick up line... but thank you...

See, I bet a lot of guys read your rant about "guys who make passes" and determined to clam up if they were around you, and maybe other women, too.

and that, I think, is why girls are always wondering why good men don't ask them out and guys are always wondering why great girls hook up with such jerks...
 

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Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
 
Sigh, if we weren't all so dang inscrutable.
 

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Posted by El JT de Spang (Member # 7742) on :
 
Annie, I went to Montana Tech. I'm neutral on the Griz/Cats thing.

Cor:

quote:

---

Talking about a girl sometimes meant talking about her personality; her laugh; her clothes. Was that all talking about sex?! I think you're stretching the notion again here...

---

quote:

---

You said "a lot more than they would otherwise". And I think I'll just say that I think it's not true, not for my friends, and certainly not for other guys too. (I'm not THAT unique!)

---

quote:

---

Annie, I went to Montana Tech. I'm neutral on the Griz/Cats thing.

---

That's just because oredigger is such a retarded mascot that Butte has to pretend not to care.

That's cool, though. Montana's a fantastic place, even the Butte parts of Montana.
 

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Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
 
ElJay: I didn't figure you for the type that would go in for the long distance relationship. Especially not with all the available guys in your immediate vincinity that I understand line up at your doorstep.
 

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Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :
 
Well bev, when we're talking attraction we're talking fundamentally sexual here... it's not talking about sex, but I think he's right that the whole idea of whether you, personally, find someone "attractive" is about whether the person would be a potential sexual partner or not (assuming, hypothetically that there were no moral or sexual orientation issues at stake).
 

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Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
 
*shrug* Sometimes you make exceptions, bev.

And for the record, I am not intentionally dropping hints about anything. I hadn't seen fugu's message yet last time I posted, my giggle was aimed at Corwin. In my mind, it is premature to discuss the beginning stages of a relationship in public/on the internet in anything other than an abstract way, so that is what I have been doing.

Some people seem to find the need to add those abstract bits of information up and try to make something out of them. That's fine, whatever. . . but I am not playing some sort of game here leaving little bits of info around for you to find. I am living my life, in a way that makes me happy.
 

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Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
 
My point is, if you are trying to figure how frequently a guy thinks about sex, just talking about a girl he is attracted to doesn't count unless he is specifically thinking about something sexual. Talking about her personality being way cool probably doesn't bring up specifically sexual thoughts (I would imagine.)

If you want to try to argue that guys automatically think sex when they are attracted to a girl, and I couldn't possibly know this 'cause I'm not one, that's one thing. But that's not how it works for me.
 

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Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
 
ElJay, after his comment I had my suspicions, but I wasn't going to assume anything until what Tom said. That was what gave it away.

He is a pretty amazing guy. I can understand the exception.
 

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Posted by El JT de Spang (Member # 7742) on :
 
Annie,

Yeah, I thought oredigger was a pretty ridiculous mascot myself, but what could I do.

Montana's a nice place to visit. I got tired of it (being a southern boy at heart), and I doubt I'll ever go back to Butte.

That said, I did love the Flathead Valley, and Big Sky.
 

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Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
 

quote:

---

I find it ridiculous to assume that if I find a guy attractive I am thinking about sex

---

Ummm........... oh, nevermind


 

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Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
 
bev, although I still am not confirming or denying anything, I kinda hope you guessed the right person. It'd be pretty funny otherwise.

If sakeriver wasn't down I'd invite you to switch to PMs. After all, that is not public.
 

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Posted by mothertree (Member # 4999) on :
 
I used to think about it whenever I tried not to think about it. Which was a lot. Then I got older and got other things I didn't want to think about. Like going bankrupt and my kids dying. I pretty much subscribe to the theory that this is due to inadequate neurotransmitter activity, particularly between the limbic node and the prefrontal lobe. I don't know exactly what they do. I think the limbic node has to do with more basic animal urges or emotions and the prefrontal lobe is the judgement center, and in order to be heard at all the limbic center has to "shout".

In one way I think the worst thing one can do with compulsive thoughts like this is to try and drown them out- since they just get louder. Ideally, one moves toward integrating emotions and judgement but this can be really scary sometimes. Especially if your heroes are Data and Spock.
 

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Posted by fugu13 (Member # 2859) on :
 
I hope she guessed the right person also.
 

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Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
 
:laughs:

I hope Sakeriver comes back up soon.
 

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Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
 
It's working ok for me...Maybe it's because I've been on it for the past four hours and haven't left.
 

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Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
 
Sakeriver PMs are working just fine ElJay -- so I suggest you check yours!

 

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Posted by beverly (Member # 6246) on :
 
PM sent!
 

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Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
 

quote:

---

bev, although I still am not confirming or denying anything, I kinda hope you guessed the right person. It'd be pretty funny otherwise. [Wink]

---

I'm guessing some kind of satanic love triangle involving you, CT, Frisco, Twinky, six hamsters, a motorcycle, and about six bottles of tequila.
 

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Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
 
That's not a triangle, that's a septadecagon.
 

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Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
 
That's not a septadecagon, that's a barrel o' fun!
 

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Posted by Bokonon (Member # 480) on :
 
All I have to say is that a part of me wishes Hatrack had been a dating haven several years ago... Y'know, before I found the love of my life

This thread's bottom line:

Wanna Phanto!

-Bok
 

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Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
 
So, that's one hamster per bottle of tequila?
 

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Posted by Lucky4 (Member # 1420) on :
 
Does the ratio change what you would do with them?
 

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Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
 
I just want to make sure I'm clear on the facts before I act all shocked that anyone could suggest such a thing.
 

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Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
 
Well, I'm sure you can divide the tequila up however you wish. I bet one bottle of tequila would be sufficient for the hamsters and you guys could share the rest.

Or you could just drink it all and let the hamsters stay sober, but that would be a little cruel, don't you think?
 

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Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
 
Or two hamster margaritas per person.
 

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Posted by Enigmatic (Member # 7785) on :
 

quote:

---

but I am not playing some sort of game here leaving little bits of info around for you to find.

---

If you continue making claims like this, I may have to post links to the contrary. If you need help figuring out which one I mean, I suppose I could give you a hand.

--Enigmatic
 

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Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
 
Really, aren't the italics a bit much?
 

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Posted by Enigmatic (Member # 7785) on :
 
Well, somebody said he didn't approve of bold or capitalization for emphasis. So there.

--Enigmatic
 

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Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
 
I didn't think it required emphasis at all, really. I could argue with you that my statement is valid, but I suspect you would be intentionally contrary, so I won't.
 

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Posted by Enigmatic (Member # 7785) on :
 
Well I can't very well be sinisterly melodramatic if I don't go around overemphasizing things now can I?

More importantly, now that I have your attention: Are we catching a movie this weekend?

--Enigmatic
 

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Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
 
Sure! I'm going riding with Claudi tomorrow around 11, but other than that I have no plans. Whatcha wanna see?
 

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Posted by Enigmatic (Member # 7785) on :
 
I'm thinking either Charlie and the Chocolate Factory or maybe Sky High. We can sort it out tomorrow. I need to wander off now, the entertainment center in the corner, which is not at all a growing mass of sentient electronics threatening to take over the building, demands that I go buy more coaxial cable.

And now, how to segue from that last sentence back to the original topic of sex? I give you: Tetsuo, The Iron Man

Toodles,
--Enigmatic
 

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Posted by Storm Saxon (Member # 3101) on :
 
Dukes of Hazzard! Dukes of Hazzard!
 

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Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
 
Coo. Say hi to the TV for me.
 

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Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
 
El JT de Spang:

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Cor

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Am I? I don't think it's that much of a stretch to say a guy talking about a girl he's attracted to with another guy is probably talking about sex (in a sense). Attraction is based on mating, back in the part of your brain you can't access consciously. That's why you can't always help who you're attracted to.

It doesn't have to be crass. I think you're taking unnecessary offense when I say talking about sex. That phrase doesn't need a negative connotation.

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I still think that you're lumping too many things together under the same name. What do you want me to say? Do I talk about sex? Yeah, I talked either seriously or jokingly about it with friends, it's just that it doesn't happen that often. Not because it would be "bad", I have my personal set of morals that says it's not. As for "hotness" and stuff like that, why does it seem so hard to admit that one can admire even physical beauty without immediately relating it to sex?! Honestly, I keep telling you that I'm not nor was that kind of person, and that there are others that act mostly in the same ways, and it seems that you keep trying to say that it's not true. If you're going to keep it like this I really can't see any point in a further argument with you...

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Also

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You said "a lot more than they would otherwise". And I think I'll just say that I think it's not true, not for my friends, and certainly not for other guys too. (I'm not THAT unique!)

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Please tell me you're not calling me out for changing the statement from "a lot more" to "more".

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Nope. I'm just trying to understand why you wouldn't believe there are guys for which other subjects are more interesting to talk about, and that those subjects wouldn't change if a girl were present to the discussion - provided she were not bored to death by them, of course.

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And it sounds like it is true of you and your friends, you just don't want to call it what it is.

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You've got to be kidding me. Where on Earth did you get that impression from?! I think you allow yourself too much here. Do I "deny too fiercely"? Well, have you considered it's the truth and not some kind of guilt that you are trying to project on me?
 

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Posted by Corwin (Member # 5705) on :
 
Sorry for rerailing the thread...

Edit: Or killing it...
 

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Posted by ElJay (Member # 6358) on :
 
Sorry, Corwin, but I pretty much agree with what you've said. Doesn't leave much to say.

For what it's worth, I've been considered "one of the guys" in several groups of males, to the point where they were comfortable talking with me and around me about sex. Some people, male and female, talk about sex more than others. Some guys, whenever they're talking about girls, they're talking about sex. Some guys aren't. I'm sure some people will think they just weren't talking that way around me, but what I'm saying is that they did talk that way around me sometimes, so I don't think it was a comfort level thing. Sex is just on some people's minds more than others. *shrug*
 

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Posted by El JT de Spang (Member # 7742) on :
 
No guilt here, and why would there be? Again, assigning a negative value where none is needed.


I guess my friends (about 4 completely independent groups of people) all talk about sex more that Corwin's friends. That's all that either of us can really say - what's the norm in our experience. My friends are, and always have been, more interested in girls than computers.

I'm out.
 

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Posted by Frisco (Member # 3765) on :
 
I've always wanted to meet CT and twinky, and what better setting than a satanic septadecagon?

Just keep the hamsters away from me.

And Lucky, if you put on the cloak and beard, we could, you know, make it an octadecagon. *wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge*
 

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Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
 

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Originally posted by Bob_Scopatz:
If I recall correctly, there were some studies that said that on average it [edit:thinking about sex] was once every two minutes for the average teenage male.

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Bob, I think that's an urban myth.
 

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Posted by quidscribis (Member # 5124) on :
 
Yeah, I think so, too. I heard it was every 17 seconds.
 

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Posted by Lucky4 (Member # 1420) on :
 

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And Lucky, if you put on the cloak and beard, we could, you know, make it an octadecagon. *wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge*

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How the hell did I get pulled into this? Go play with George! Shoo, shoo!
 

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Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :
 
*raises hand*

Can I have lucky's spot?

*always wanted to be part of an octadecagon*
 

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Posted by Kwea (Member # 2199) on :
 
I agree with ElJay, and I am a guy..I always found it strange when my guy friends would try to pick up women at a bar or on the street. I always had trouble with that, probably because I wasn't comfortable with teh very idea of it.

Once I began ignoring their "advice", I found that it was a lot easier to ask someone I already knew a little bit ona date, and that even if teh date part of it didn't work out it would still be a fun night.

I met my wife at the restuarant where we both worked, and I knew her for about 9 months before we ever wnet on a date. I was always happier moving a a fairly slow pace with relationships, but I found that I knew Jenni so well from working with her than I was able right away to tell that this wasn't just another date, it was something really special.


All the firends I had who were all more "smooth" and who had better luck with women then I did back then are all still single, and have been through the ringer a few times with girlfriends. Out of the 5-6 of us who were really close, I am the only one who is married.


So I guess there is something to this type of attitude, huh?
 

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Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :
 
I think there is alot to be said for that, Kwea... I just never could get a woman I was "friends" with to go out with me... at all.

So, when I decided to date again, I went ahead and tried the personals... it wasn't so bad (except, as I mentioned in another thread, there's some serious height discrimination going on with you chick-types).
 

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Posted by theCrowsWife (Member # 8302) on :
 
Which I've never really understood. I understand it has something to do with wearing heels, but that's not something I ever do. I've always been attracted to guys who were approximately the same height as me (5'5").

--Mel
 

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Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :
 
yeah... and most women I've actually known are the same way... but there's this eerie subset of women, fairly short (like 5'4" and below) who are looking for guys 6' and up. Maybe I just took it too personally (being 5'8") but it really made me wonder... did they just have a pair of 6" heels or what?
 

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Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
 
I didn't remember you as being that short, Jim-Me, but Ivygirl says she was taller than you. For some reason, I guess I never noticed. Perhaps because you are close enough to my height that I didn't think about it....

Farmgirl
 

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Posted by Jim-Me (Member # 6426) on :
 
or maybe it's because I was always on the ground, chasing will and Robby around
 

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