posted
How much, exactly, does the average teenage guy think about sex? How strong a drive is it? I am kind of perplexed here and would like some idea.
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posted
If I recall correctly, there were some studies that said that on average it was once every two minutes for the average teenage male.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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posted
Sigh...I guess it's time for me to learn reality, that guys are sex hungry and will eagerly lap it up and if you show them the slightest sign of friendleness they'll think it's that you are willing to have sex with them then they'll stalk you...
Depressing lesson, one has to learn it sooner or later. Oh, and walking alone at night isn't that safe.
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posted
I'm very freaked out by some things that have happened to me, being hit on by a constant stream of strange people...that look of lust which I have not seen directed at me in such an intense way, very unsettling. The begging manner, the hungry manner, the switch into "hey, maybe I can sleep with this person" mode...
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posted
maybe you're hanging out around the wrong type of guys. I'd say some of us (at least) are normal.
Posts: 441 | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
Yeah; it's not so much I'm hanging out with these people, it's more like they accost me as I sit down in random places...
I know I am overreacting somewhat, especially since I have had physical bondries violated in the past, but I am just adjusting my mindset to accomodate the fact that lust is very strong in guys.
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posted
I haven't been a teen guy for two years, but I think more or less in the same terms. I'd say it's a lot less than once every two minutes. Few times an hour, it's not really a regular cycle.
If I was still 19, and was attracted to a girl that wanted to sleep with me, I'd be hard pressed to say no, depending on who she was. But I doubt I'd ever sleep with a girl with no intention of at least trying to be friends. One night stands are far too impersonal for me, I'd want at least some sort of emotional connection.
And yeah, I'd say you're probably hanging out with the wrong kinda guy. The right kinda guy might be interested in sleeping with you, in the same way that he's interested in sleeping with Meg Ryan. They think about it, but never really seriously consider it. But he'd be far more interested in just being friends, if that was all you wanted.
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quote: I am just adjusting my mindset to accomodate the fact that lust is very strong in guys.
I hate comments like this, they are a cop out. It isn't jsut guys, although they are more likely to be overt about it. Thinking like this, and acting like it is true, makes it seem ok, because they are "just" guys, and "everyone KNOWS that is what guys are like"...which is a load of crap.
I played flute for 13 years, and I know what type of conversation women have. I wa almost "one of the girls", not because I was gay (I wasn't, and still am not ) but because I was always there around them, they only guy in a section of 33 flutes. Also, I wasn't anyones idea of a hunk then...I was not shy, but I was very private, and non-threatening compared to a lot of guys that age.
I have never heard such frank, honest talk about sex and sexual thoughts as AI did locked in a sectional with them.
Sex is a big deal to guys at least in part because they have always been told that it should be..after all, they ARE guys...
See where I am going with this? It is demeaning to say that guys are any more a slave to their lusts than women are, despite the common myth.
We are just less subtle than women are about it, at least in public.
posted
Phanto, you might seriously want to consider taking a self-defense course. It sounds like you're worried, perhaps even scared, and you need to learn how to protect yourself so you can relax a bit.
posted
Speaking from experience, guys think about sex quite a bit. And lots of guys will look at attractive women and think how they would have sex with that woman. But that doesn't mean that those same guys will get the impression that they can just go right ahead and sleep with that woman (though some will if the woman dresses in an extremely suggestive manner). And just because guys think about sex a lot does not mean they are incapable of treating a woman with respect. Sure, I think about it, but I would never want to have sex with a woman I didn't feel very strongly for and know extremely well beforehand. And that's how most guys I know are, but they aren't all like that. You have to find the good ones.
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quote:"God is a very funny person. Take sex for example, there is nothing funnier than the faces you people make midcouitous." "Sex is a joke in heaven?" "The way I understand it, it's mostly a joke down here too." -Movie, Dogma
Anyhoot, how can I look out for guys that treat sex as a joke? There those that are obvious about it, but what about those that are more cunning?
Posts: 3389 | Registered: Apr 2004
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posted
Well, first of all when they talk to you they look you in the eyes. The eyes ABOVE the neckline...
Everyone thinks about it at times...it's what they think of it that makes it interesting.
I tell my wife about pretty women all the time, but that doesn't mean I would sleep with them even if I wasn't married. She tells me if she sees a guy she think is hot too. We are confident enough with ourselves and with each other to know that we will be fine, even if we do find someone else attractive.
I trust her, and she me, so we see that stuff for what it is...superficial. Posts: 15082 | Registered: Jul 2001
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quote:Originally posted by Bob_Scopatz: If I recall correctly, there were some studies that said that on average it was once every two minutes for the average teenage male.
Well, let me tell you there must be some quite sex inclined guys out there to make up for the scarce times when I and my high school friends thought about sex!
More important problems for us were what computer game just came out, "how do you pass that tricky place where you have to (etc)", how much of my math homework I still have left, when does my favorite football team play again, and so on and so forth.
Sex? Yeah, we thought about sex from time to time, but it was more like "Yeah, she's beautiful, sex would be interes... Oooh, I still have 2 problems to finish before the teacher comes!" No "picturing" and stuff like that. For that most of us had our "special folder" which didn't leave much for imagination but was good enough at that age.
quote:Anyhoot, how can I look out for guys that treat sex as a joke? There those that are obvious about it, but what about those that are more cunning?
Uh, well, it's veeeery easy: which situations might be interpreted as signals for wanting to have sex with someone? Avoid them if it's not what you want. If you have a boyfriend let him know how you feel about it. Don't have sex to form/keep a relationship. Don't have sex just 'cause everyone does it. If you tell a guy this most of us would get it that you speak seriously and won't try to force you. If someone does try to force sex on you, well then it's time you part ways with that person.
And yeah, I understand it can be difficult to talk about sex with a partner especially at that age. Most people want things to "flow naturally", but that flow might not be so smooth if both partners aren't looking for the same thing. With my ex-girlfriend I had some talks before deciding to go ahead with it. Not the most romantic thing perhaps, but it was to be a first time for both of us and none of us wanted to take it lightly. neither I, nor she weren't* going to break up with the other if she/he didn't want to have sex right away; but it just seemed a natural part of our relationship. If for you it does not, then that's that.
posted
Does anyone know how those studies were done? If I was keeping a count of the number of times I thought about sex in a day, the answer would be inflated a fair bit because of the circumstances. And what counts as thinking about sex, anyway?
I suppose you could hook them up to some kind of brain scanner without telling them what it's about, but "this bit of brain is active every two minutes" seems like a weaker claim than "guys think about sex every two minutes".
I'd look it up but I'm somewhat leery of spending much time googling for sex at work.
Posts: 148 | Registered: Feb 2000
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posted
Yeah, I wonder how those studies were made as well. And it's not like people pay attention to how many times they're thinking about sex. Nor would I be inclined to trust a teenager who says he thinks of sex all the time. Might be he's just trying to sound "cool"... Posts: 4519 | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
The very act of observing or recording such data will influance the outcome of the study, it is a well documented factor in these types of studies.
It's like saying "Don't think about an elephant." . . . how long does it take for someone to think of one once they are told that?
I forget the actual name of the effect, and I am on my way to work so I have to go, but it is a very real factor.
quote:And yeah, I understand it can be difficult to talk about sex with a partner especially at that age.
Perhaps having sex with that person isn't such a good idea then. If you can't talk about it wiht them, then having it with them is probably a mistake.
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posted
I don't think about sex all that much. I tend to think more about the questions of life, the universe, and everything... And once I get thinking about the meaning of life and such things, I really can't stop.
But I know a lot of my friends think about sex ALL the time. They plan their whole night around getting girls. It's kind of disturbing sometimes. Many times they choose to hang out with a girl that they have pretty much no chance with, rather than having a poker night with the guys. Kind of sad sometimes. :/
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quote:Perhaps having sex with that person isn't such a good idea then. If you can't talk about it wiht them, then having it with them is probably a mistake.
Agreed.
Edit: How old are your friends, NinjaBirdman, if you don't mind me asking? I wonder what are the chances that they're acting like that girl from American Beauty who pretended to have had sex with lots of men just to be "interesting"...
Edit 2: And why do I have the feeling that quite a few people expect teenagers, especially boys, to be interested in sex and only that?!
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And yeah, sex is pretty much on the brain all the time when you're a teen. I'm almost 26, and it's only down to about 90% of the time, so you may as well get used to it.
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quote:Originally posted by quidscribis: Phanto, you might seriously want to consider taking a self-defense course. It sounds like you're worried, perhaps even scared, and you need to learn how to protect yourself so you can relax a bit.
One self-defense course is kind of useless if it's a big hulk you're facing. Just pay a few dollars and get yourself a tearing gas spray. When he's stunned, kick him in the crotch, and run. More advice: always keep perfume and a cigarette lighter with you. When attacked, take out both devices, spray the perfume at the attacker's face and don't let go of the button, while putting the lighter's flame close to the spray. You'll find the result quite amusing.
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quote:Edit: How old are your friends, NinjaBirdman, if you don't mind me asking? I wonder what are the chances that they're acting like that girl from American Beauty who pretended to have had sex with lots of men just to be "interesting"...
Between 19 and 23 mostly, a few younger, a few older.
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posted
Ok, I think I've met them! Seriously, I know of a few people that age who act like that - sometimes while they're drunk too, so they'd have more "courage". But I don't think they're a majority, at least not in my "circles". By the way, I'm 24 and my friends would be in the 20-25 age bracket, so it's pretty much the same thing.
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posted
Phanto, the more people who hit on you it just means your beautiful. Beany yeah, its fun playing with fire and explosives.
As for that other stuff... Not all that often, mostly when I go to bed or if I see an attractive girl, however I don't have fantasies unless she's really hot but I restrain myself, all I do is say hi and wish I was ten pounds thinner. I'm the "nice guy" in the room usually.
Posts: 1567 | Registered: Oct 2004
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quote:Phanto, the more people who hit on you it just means your beautiful.
Hmm, and those guys, the ones that hit on you solely based on physical beauty are the ones you should be most careful with, I think.
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posted
Well, its a 1 in 10 thousand chance anyways for any kind of casual "hit" to actually work. Its the ones who know you and hit on you who see yuou as being truly beautiful inside and out.
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quote:Originally posted by Beanny: One self-defense course is kind of useless if it's a big hulk you're facing.
That is crap. If you take a good one, it's possible to learn how to defend yourself effectively against most attackers without the need to dig around in your purse or pockets or whatever looking for a lighter or hairspray. Of course, by the time you've found your weapons of choice, who knows what he could have done? No, you've got enough weapons on you already if you know how to use them - elbows, fingers, teeth, knees, feet.
Kicking in the crotch, when both people are standing, is not nearly as effective as kneeing, but kneeing becomes much more effective when you learn how to do it with better techniques.
Model Muggingis an effective course. I took it, although in Canada, and I highly recommend it.
With a model mugger, you learn how to protect yourself on a real human. Granted, he's wearing heavy protective gear, but it also adds a good 50 or more pounds to him, which makes it even more surprising that, by kicking this huge guy with the extra weight of all that protective gear in the crotch when I was on the ground and he was running at me, I sent him flying over me to have him land five or six feet away.
Taking a self-defense course can be an excellent choice for many woman.
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quote:Phanto, the more people who hit on you it just means your beautiful.
Stop it, stop it, stop it!
I know so many girls who are victims of this mentality in our culture. It goes two ways - there are some who go to any lengths to get sleazy male attention because that is the only way they can feel worthwhile, and then there are those who won't lower their standards to dress like the average club bunny and spend a lot of time feeling ugly and useless.
I've had guy friends who talked about sex a lot, or which girls were hot or who they wish they could date, and I constantly felt inferior around them. There was an unspoken understanding that while I was one of their friends, I was not in the same category as the attractive girls and totally undesirable.
Since then, I've found guys to be friends with who treated me with a lot more respect, and it's because they treat all women with respect. I feel comfortable to be myself around them because they're not constantly making remarks about physical attractiveness. I can talk as a person and not as a piece of meat to be evaluated. And I feel a lot prettier when I'm with these men who never make passes because I can be myself instead of being constanly paranoid about my looks.
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I did too, for some reason. So it kind of freaked me when I read the first post, wondering why the question was being asked.
now, it's all clear.
I remember coming to the same point of acceptance and realization when I was a teen -- of learning how to interpret the looks and how to handle them. I was so naive'. In fact, my naivety sometimes gave them the wrong signals, because I didn't even know enough to know I was sending off wrong signals.
Do NOT tie your sense of worth or your knowledge of how beautiful to you are to whether or not random guys hit on you. It simply isn't a good guage.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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posted
I don't know how they can keep track of how often people think about sex, I don't even know how often I think about sex. I guess some days, a lot, and other days, not as much.
I couldn't quantify it with x times per minute or hour. I will say this - when guys are in a group with no women around, they all think and talk about sex a lot more than they would otherwise.
Any guys, any age.
Posts: 5462 | Registered: Apr 2005
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quote:Originally posted by El JT de Spang: Any guys, any age.
You *obviously* haven't been around computer geeks! Seriously now, you know you are making a waaay too broad statement here, right?
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quote:when guys are in a group with no women around, they all think and talk about sex a lot more than they would otherwise.
This is weird. Why do they do that?
Because they are "allowed" to? I don't know. Probably they might feel more ashamed to talk that freely about it with women around. But it's hardly happening in every group anyway. And talk about wanting to date a certain girl doesn't necessarily mean talk about sex!
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Maybe they don't talk about girls and sex as much they talk about (insert hip new computer topic here), but they still think about it.
By the way, you mean to tell me that computer geeks don't talk about who's the hottest game character?
Posts: 5462 | Registered: Apr 2005
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quote:when guys are in a group with no women around, they all think and talk about sex a lot more than they would otherwise.
This is weird. Why do they do that?
I'm sure it depends, but for me it kind of goes back to what Annie was saying. When I'm with guy friends, we'll often point out to one another when we see an attractive woman. But if I have girl friends around, I don't want to make them uncomfortable and I think it seems a little disrespectful to them to make a lot of comments like that.
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posted
El JT de Spang, computer geeks ALWAYS talk about which comp char is hotter then another one, take FF7 fpr instance there's always endless debates about whether or not Aeris is better looking then Tifa.
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