Martyrs: People who work ungodly hours because they feel the compulsion to take on all the company's random work, but at the same time affect a put-upon demeanour because they have so much work to do. This despite the fact that there are staff they could be passing lesser tasks onto. Also has the effect of making everyone else look like clock-watchers.
Authority seekers: This happens more frequently when the company structure and job-roles are not well defined. These people like to go to the boss, seek their opinions about company work and then, completely exceeding their authority, tell everyone else what they should be doing.
Know-it-alls: People who have an opinion on every goddamn aspect of the companies business. This in itself is fine; telling the people whose responsibility it is to actually handle those aspects is not necessarily so. I.E. when the boss asks for a revision of a certain design to highlight one element somewhat more strongly, these people pipe up on how the layout could be changed to accommodate it. This, despite the fact they have no business even saying the word "design".
Over-its: People who are so "over it" that they just don't care, particularly when they're the boss. This manifests itself in a complete lack of understanding or caring about any of the problems encountered by their underlings and usually results in the command: "just sort it out" when these problems are brought to light.
Grumpy people: unfortunately, this is now me.
Go ahead, add to the list....
Posted by Book (Member # 5500) on :
I have an authority seeker boss. He's possibly the most anal person to have ever been born. He's also pretty creepy, and recently got in trouble for sexual harassment.
Huzzah.
Posted by Enigmatic (Member # 7785) on :
Cherry Pickers: Coworkers who skim through any queue of work and take the easiest projects/tickets/customers/whatever, leaving the rest of the team with a harder than normal workload.
Hatrackers: People who post on forums when they're supposed to be workin- d'oh!
--Enigmatic
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
Body odor people. A daily shower and use of deodorant is only considerate, people!
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
I am completely disiplined and do not do anything more than quickly check my email at work.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
As a teacher, I am surrounded by martyrs, know-it-alls, and over-its, and I am bossed around by authority seekers, many of whom are also martyred, know-it-all, over-its.
Posted by Farmgirl (Member # 5567) on :
quote:Cherry Pickers: Coworkers who skim through any queue of work and take the easiest projects/tickets/customers/whatever, leaving the rest of the team with a harder than normal workload.
Ah! Thanks for giving a name to it, Brian.
I was thinking of one particularly annoying co-worker who does just this. Or even worse, he will agree to handle a certain task, and when you follow up later, you find out he never did as promised.
Or he proceeds to tell you how to do it so he won't have to.
grrrr
FG
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
A special subset of Martyrs are those who take on more than they can accomplish, and then expect everyone else to pick up the slack for all of the things they can't do well now, and do more work themselves. These people, paradoxically enough, still expect credit for all that they wanted to do, even though they passed most of this work off to other people.
How about the Unecessary Administrator who does not actually serve a useful purpose in producing anything, and must therefore create pointless work for other people to do, so that they can point at these projects as "their" accomplishments? I believe that every school has at least one of these. Hey Liz, have you rewritten your school's curricula in the last year? Done any course mapping, maybe? Revamped your performance objectives? Filled out your IPDP?
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
Tattlers: Workers who believe part of their job is to make sure everyone else is doing their job. And when they're not, Tattlers go tattle to the management. They tend to think they are the smartest people in the department, and are generally thoroughly unteachable.
I hate working with Tattlers as a consultant. They're impossible.
Accounting Monkeys: These are people who don't know the principals of accounting, yet they are AR or AP clerks, often of many years standing. Not only do these people not know accounting, frequently they don't know basic math. They've been taught how to enter a vendor invoice or process cash receivables in the software they currently use, but that is all. Changing accounting software will cause the monkeys much stress and pain, and often leads to early retirement.
I only complain about them because, while extremely nice women (I haven't run into a male accounting monkey yet), they take *forever* to teach. I have to teach them basic Windows skills, then basic math, then basic accounting, THEN we can get to the software I'm there to train them on. They take 6 times longer to train than Warehouse Monkeys, which is really saying something.
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
OK, now I'm curious. Tell us about Warehouse Monkeys.
My own pet hate is Slowpokes : People who have to be told five or six times how to get their program up and running, in spite of taking notes. Well, taking notes on the third run-through, at least. And when they ask questions, they keep interrupting when I try to answer! How am I supposed to teach anything if I can't get a word in edgewise?
Which kind of brings me to my second pet hate, to wit, Americans : Loud-mouthed people who absolutely cannot stand a moment's silence, who are so in love with the sound of their own voice that they must be chattering every second of the day. Give it a rest, people! Some of us are trying to work, or think, here.
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
Ah, well, then let's talk about Tech Monkeys. These are a disappearing breed, I hope, as people become more tech savvy and as certifications and stuff begin to exist, but back when most employers didn't know diddly about computers they would hire people who could fake it to be in charge of technology. These people often know how to hook up a computer to a printer and how to change toner, but not much more. They also tend to buy technology for corporate accounts at greater than street value, and get kick backs in return--after all, they are already ethically challenged, so why not? And after all, their employers don't know any better. These people often hang on for a long time after they become entrenched. (Alternatively, they hide their incompetence by switching employers each year, as they are found out.)
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
quote:Which kind of brings me to my second pet hate, to wit, Americans
Ooh yeah. And black people. They suck too.
Posted by Enigmatic (Member # 7785) on :
We recently changed e-mail systems. Overall it's a big step up, especially on the reporting side. I was the representative from my department who got to work with the consultant to make sure the new system did everything we needed (along with folks from other depts to make sure it had what THEY need). This also meant training the rest of my team on the new system once it was ready.
I got to teach some people fairly similar to the Accounting Monkeys described above. Older employees who still viewed computers as glorified typewriters, printed out their emails, and were terrified of change. Joy.
The upside is during all of this I got to do lots of meetings, discussions, feedback sessions, and other things that don't really seem like "work" all while being praised for taking on so much responsibility.
--Enigmatic
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
quote:. . . printed out their emails . . .
That's funny--we're required to do this (though I blow off that particular requirement).
And then there was the time about four years ago when a lot of e-mails weren't getting through, and we received an e-mail suggesting we follow up on e-mails sent and ask people (through e-mail) if they received our e-mail, or perhaps call them to let them know we had sent them an a-mail or to ask them if they had received it.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
quote:
quote:Which kind of brings me to my second pet hate, to wit, Americans
Ooh yeah. And black people. They suck too. [
Not to mention Norwegians.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
"Hey Liz, have you rewritten your school's curricula in the last year? Done any course mapping, maybe? Revamped your performance objectives? Filled out your IPDP?"
Ha! Yes.
We were also given a scare story about emailing parents(an efficient way of maintaining contact), to the point where most people don't do it at all.
Posted by kojabu (Member # 8042) on :
People who think they're your boss but are at your seniority level.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote:Accounting Monkeys: These are people who don't know the principals of accounting, yet they are AR or AP clerks, often of many years standing. Not only do these people not know accounting, frequently they don't know basic math. They've been taught how to enter a vendor invoice or process cash receivables in the software they currently use, but that is all.
>_< Ok, my co-worker is like this with 85+% of the things she does on the computer.
And since she's the main secretary, she does a lot of things on the computer. Although not as many as one might expect, since she does as much by hand -- writing a dozen address labels for instance, when she could easily cut and paste them from the student lists -- as she can.
My problem is not so much what she does or doesn't do, but that it means a whole lot of things end up on my plate instead. After all, I know how to do them quickly. Never mind that I learned how to do many things over the course of the last year, by TRYING -- and using help files and Google.
I shouldn't complain too much about having to do these things. It's better than cleaning up the stuff she does without bothering to look how it's been done. I had to clean up a bunch of transcripts today. I had entered all the data through first trimester. She entered second trimester. Today I was entering third . . . and fixing what she did when entering second. Posted by Tstorm (Member # 1871) on :
I hope it's okay to dislike our own weaknesses:
Suckers.
I just aquired an extra ten hours this week. I've done this repeatedly, lately, due to coworkers who decide not to show up. "Yes, please, I would love to work another open to close shift. Give me more."
I had a "Mr. Helpful" show up today. I'm not sure he couldn't be classified as an "Unnecessary Administrator," though. I would try to write here, about how ridiculous my work load is currently, but it comes out as complaining. I don't want to do that. I'll complain about him, instead.
Needless to say, I didn't want to chat with him, or listen to his cutesy, creative little criticisms that sound like suggestions. Why can't he speak plainly and tell me straight up what he wants to say? I don't have time to spend deciphering his little messages and intentions.
Let him set aside some time, that won't interfere with sales time, so he can talk to everyone and deliver his message. I'll even volunteer to help him with organizing it. The message should take about 20 minutes to deliver. Tops.
He proceeded to come into the break room to "talk shop" with me, over my lunch. Um, bad idea. But, I'm a sucker. I should've gone to Burger King.
He said, "You sound frustrated."
I said, "You think?"
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
quote:. . . or listen to his cutesy, creative little criticisms that sound like suggestions.
Ooh, this reminds me of one: Uncomfortable Authority. This is the boss figure who doesn't want to give orders, just suggestions. Suggestions, though, can be disregarded, right? Uncomfortable Authority repeats the suggestions over and over, though, while saying "I don't want to have to tell you to do this . . . " and trailing off. Well, if you don't want to tell me to do it, then I don't have to. If I have to, then it sounds like you're telling me to do it!
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
Gossips: There they are, standing behind you, ready to whisper the latest goods on one of your coworkers. Five minutes later, they're whispering at your coworker's desk. I think it's kind of like crosspollenation.
Complainers: Whatever the deal, they find something to complain about. Something always has to be tying them down so they can't do what needs to be done. They tend to try to lure you over to their side so you can also see what a raw deal everyone is getting.
Bean counters: Managers who need to account for every scrap of paper and every minute of work. They are dangerous to have around a department full of designers and writers, especially when they pull the purse strings.
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
Hey, how about at least coming up with a creative stereotype for Norwegians, like I did for Americans? I also note that, although I'm exaggerating, Americans really do talk a lot more than Norwegians do. And honestly, what is with leaving the TV on as a background to conversation? You're either watching it, or not. Talking and watching TV at the same time is just rude.
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
I can't carry on a conversation if the TV or the radio is on. I simply am incapable of it; I'm too auditory. I focus too intently, and I can't listen to more than one thing at a time.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
quote:Hey, how about at least coming up with a creative stereotype for Norwegians
Norwegians think they are oh-so-special and perfect, so they stick their stuck-up little Norwegian noses into other people's threads to insult them.
How's that ?
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
You would leave the TV on too if your damn obnoxious kids kept running off with the damn remote.
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
Hey, you've never even met my kids--why are you calling them names?! Posted by Enigmatic (Member # 7785) on :
I'm in Minnesota, and we have lots of stereotypes and insults for Norwegians. Somehow though, I don't think any of them were meant to apply to Norwegians who are actually in Norway, downtchaknow? Also, Tante's link had an Ole and Lena joke I didn't know! Woohoo!
--Enigmatic
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
KoM isn't in Norway, IIRC. He's in grad school in the US somewhere.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
quote:Originally posted by advice for robots: Gossips: There they are, standing behind you, ready to whisper the latest goods on one of your coworkers. Five minutes later, they're whispering at your coworker's desk. I think it's kind of like crosspollenation.
Complainers: Whatever the deal, they find something to complain about. Something always has to be tying them down so they can't do what needs to be done. They tend to try to lure you over to their side so you can also see what a raw deal everyone is getting.
. . . and she's both of those, too.
I remember now why I'm glad she's on vacation, even though it means more work for me.
Posted by Ryuko (Member # 5125) on :
My work is a special kind of job: A campus job. This means that we have a special kind of irritating coworker. I'll list a couple.
The Networker: I've had a number of coworkers like this. They spend every free second they have (and some of their not-free seconds, which got one Networker fired recently) on the phone, on AIM, on MSN, or talking to friends in the office. A little bit of talking, I could stand, but so much talking is just... flagrant.
The Pinball: This employee has ping-ponged to nearly every campus job we have, not so much because they're moving up as because they have very poor job skills. Luckily, being one of the more high-class-ish jobs on campus, we don't always get this one. Though we do start them off, sometimes.
The Tard: And by tard, I mean tardy. All the time. For some of my coworkers I think it has something to do with time being of less consequence in their homes, but it doesn't fail to drive me nuts. Now that we have two employees on a shift, it happens a lot more.
"I was supposed to come in today?": Half-an-hour after the shift's supposed to be over, he shows up. I've been up since midnight, and it's now 8:30. Not to mention my drive home... (spontaneously goes postal)
That's about it. I fear that at least one of the stereotypes already mentioned is me...
Posted by kwsni (Member # 1831) on :
Morons: The person who you have to explain how do do something EVERY time they have to do it, even though it's usually a simple task, and they've done it before.
Everything-they-know-is wrong: This person knows everything, except they think that 2+2=6, and red and blue make green. They often try to impress you with thier knowledge, and then get angry when you prove them wrong using simple examples.
Ni!
Posted by twinky (Member # 693) on :
In my experience when a know-it-all is also an engineer it can be a source of much strife.
Tangentially, I'm glad to see Troubs post because it means Australia is still there. Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
"Everything-they-know-is wrong: This person knows everything, except they think that 2+2=6, and red and blue make green. They often try to impress you with thier knowledge, and then get angry when you prove them wrong using simple examples."
Ha ha. My brother-in-law.
Before the Gulf War(the first)
Me: Do you think we should invade Iraq?
Him: Well, we let Hitler go too long, and look what happened: World War One.
He did not believe me when I mentioned that was the wrong war, and had to look it up in the encyclopedia. He is a Marine.
Posted by Troubadour (Member # 83) on :
thanks twinky!
Although from the tone of my post, you might have guessed I'm not necessarily happy to be anywhere near my current Australian commitments at the moment.
I'm also going to point out that on my list, the martyr, know-it-all and authority-seeker are all combined in one person, while presiding over both of us is a boss who happens to be an over-it and grumpy. Posted by Dan_raven (Member # 3383) on :
"Mr. Story Manager" who comes into your office and starts talking, and talking, and talking about sports, his vacation, anything you don't need to know about. You can't order him out, and then he complains of lack of productivity
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
Well, you know, Minnesotans are not really a fair example of Norwegian culture. They are descended from the people we chucked out for being poor and obnoxious, and it shows. Much like the rest of you, in fact. Except of course that England chucked people out for being religious fanatics, France chucked them out for being unable to find a wife, Ireland for being starving and too Catholic to do anything about it, Italy for not having the right connections, and Germany for being too socialist.
No wonder you lot are so weird.
Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
"Boss Who Sleeps with Underlings" - yeah, that's my boss.
"Norwegian Whiners" - Gripe about America all the time even though they came here because they couldn't get a decent education in their own country. They don't talk as much as Americans, but that's probably because they don't have much worth saying.
Posted by kojabu (Member # 8042) on :
quote:Ooh, this reminds me of one: Uncomfortable Authority. This is the boss figure who doesn't want to give orders, just suggestions. Suggestions, though, can be disregarded, right? Uncomfortable Authority repeats the suggestions over and over, though, while saying "I don't want to have to tell you to do this . . . " and trailing off. Well, if you don't want to tell me to do it, then I don't have to. If I have to, then it sounds like you're telling me to do it!
I never had a boss like that, but last semester we had a professor who would say things like "didn't you say you were going to do x y or z" and we'd be like why can't you just tell us what you want (because he never did).
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
quote:Mr. Story Manager
Sounds like an eminently average American to me.
American Losers - can't get into universities in their own country, due to the high schools teaching Popularity Contesting and Creative Along-getting more than calculus, so they complain about foreigners taking their places. While they're flipping burgers.
Posted by The Pixiest (Member # 1863) on :
KoM: Shouldn't you be off working a fishing boat or on an oil rig or opressing the Lapps or whatever you scandinavians do for fun?
Pix
Posted by Enigmatic (Member # 7785) on :
quote: Well, you know, Minnesotans are not really a fair example of Norwegian culture.
That's pretty much what I said. At least, I hope Norwegian culture doesn't consist of that much polka and lutefisk.
On the actual topic though, I forgot to mention the absolute worst people to have to deal with at work: The Customers.
--Enigmatic
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
At KoM's request:
Warehouse Monkeys: These men (I haven't yet run into a female warehouse monkey) come in two varieties.
There are the career warehouse monkeys, who are well into their 50's or 60's and have never worked anywhere but in their warehouse. They are always union workers and have never aspired to anything greater than pulling and putting away inventory. Change of any sort (except raises) is regarded as a personal affront and may, in their estimation, be outright illegal. These men get a glazed look on their face during training, and may fall asleep before the session is over. They tend to be the ones that cause the worst mistakes at Go Live.
The second variety are totally unskilled at everything. They cannot type, and run the gamut for accuracy in writing. One hopes they can count. They may be fearful of computers but are not outright hostile. Some actually welcome the change a new computer system brings, because it offers them the opportunity to learn skills. They tend to be more accurate than the ancient mariners above, but take a *very* long time to actually process anything.
It is for warehouse monkeys that I greatly look forward to the introduction of RF guns as part of our software.
And I agree 100% with Ic about Techno Monkeys. Those are worse than Warehouse Monkeys (who actually are not that bad, except for the careers) and Accounting Monkeys combined.
Posted by Xaposert (Member # 1612) on :
I'm pretty sure almost every employee anywhere has been listed in some category or another by now.
One note, though...
quote:There are the career warehouse monkeys, who are well into their 50's or 60's and have never worked anywhere but in their warehouse. They are always union workers and have never aspired to anything greater than pulling and putting away inventory.
I don't think this is very fair. I suspect most of these people HAVE aspired to something greater than putting away inventory, and usually that aspiration is in the form of little kids who have food and shelter because of their parent's job.
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
Tres, you seem to interpret my description as insulting. Thank God for people who are willing to do menial, repetitive jobs. I sure as heck couldn't do it. Yet those jobs need to get done, and in some cases, high turnover in those positions is a significant cost to be avoided if at all possible.
I just can't fathom spending 30+ years doing essentially the exact same thing, Monday - Friday, 8am to 5pm. And please bear in mind that there are monkeys and there are workers. The monkeys do not engage in any higher brain activity. They have a recipe to follow, they follow it more-or-less, but do not actually think about why they do something or what effect it might have on the bigger picture. This is what makes them hard to train.
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
Pixie, they're usually called Sami by polite people who know what they're talking about. 'Lapp' is the approximate equivalent of 'wog'. Anyway, having oppressed them into having their own parliament and flag, we've moved on to bigger targets; these days we're more likely to grin as we point out the price of oil to Americans. 60 dollars a barrel, was it? Hope you've got money in the bank.
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
quote:Originally posted by King of Men: Pixie, they're usually called Sami by polite people.
Polite people? Where?
Posted by Zeugma (Member # 6636) on :
The Emotionally Needy: Immediately latches on to any coworker who seems to show them any hit of kindness, and proceeds to rely on them completely for counseling and support throughout the workday. Every perceived slight from another coworker, every unfair demand from the boss, every problem with the significant other, every bad memory from childhood is cried upon whatever shoulder seems willing, no matter how inappropriate or unprofessional.
Posted by Angiomorphism (Member # 8184) on :
I work in an academic cancer research lab, and if you think know it alls are bad in offices, you should consider what happens when these people get PhDs!!! I'll admit that many of them are smart individuals, but god do they love to hear their own voice.
Also, there's the socially awkward scientists.. these are the best!
Posted by Architraz Warden (Member # 4285) on :
quote: Pixie, they're usually called Sami by polite people who know what they're talking about. 'Lapp' is the approximate equivalent of 'wog'.
So we should push for a renaming of Lapland? Do people from Finland take offense to being called Finns? There's a disjuncture somewhere in there, though it wouldn't be the first on a global scale. Hell, can I act insulted when people refer to me as Tex?
Oh, and making a joke about Americans being loud / boisterous / obnoxious is hardly an original insult / stereotype. If you want to see it done proficiently, watch Monty Python's Meaning of Life (specifically the Death Scene.)
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
Leading Actress/Actor in a Soap Opera: This employee has constant drama in their personal lives, which they then must discuss endlessly with anyone willing to listen with sympathy. They tend to be young women, but the older version definitely exists. The young ones tend to center on drama with boyfriends, minor car accidents, boyfriends, bad haircuts/dye jobs, and boyfriends. The older ones tend to center on illnesses they have and money they don't have.
The main problem with drama queens is that they can't possibly fit any actual work in between their bouts of theatrics, and tend to be distracting. Plus, for whatever reason, they are universally abysmal spellers.
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
quote:Originally posted by Architraz Warden: [QB] So we should push for a renaming of Lapland? Do people from Finland take offense to being called Finns?
No, but then, Finn doesn't have the meaning 'ragged'. Anyway, if you want to go on calling people wogs, go right ahead, I'm not stopping you. But they're not called 'Lapps' becaused they from Lappland, Lappland is called that because, according to Norwegian propagandists of a while ago, the people living there go dressed in rags. The name was stuck on them by their enemies; if you think that a mere few hundred years of insult makes the insult polite again, be my guest. Personally, I'm going to call them as they wish to be called.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
I like the Jargon Babies. They are so overwhelmed with their one little area of expertise that they assume that everyone else knows and cares what they're talking about. They use their shortened slangy little terms in conversation and then act all self-righteous when you have to ask them what on earth they're talking about. They're also extremely offended when you ask them to ship a package for you after 3:42 because the UPS man comes in 18 minutes and this is Friday and they have a million other boxes to get ready and "Oh my gosh, do you honestly expect me to get this out for you today by cutoff?"
I'm sorry, Jargon Baby. Why don't you fax me a schedule of times that I'm allowed to come into your department and I'll try not to upset you next time I want a stamp in the middle of the 2:00 Tuesday rush.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
"Many people outside of Norway hold the misconception that Lapp is the preferred term for the Sami people. Its roots are actually derogatory, though, so a greater effort is being made to call them by the name they use to self-identify.
"This misunderstanding applies to many other minority groups in regions whose historical legacy is more widespread than their current situation. Native American groups, for instance, are known as Red Indians to some Europeans, but are typically not offended by innocent misuse of this name as it is based on an unfamilarity with local jargon rather than intentional malice."
Posted by Architraz Warden (Member # 4285) on :
You really can't help being an abrasive fellow, can you KoM? My question was actually asked honestly.
I spent several weeks in Sweden and Finland, and I met several Sami. I read and heard bits and pieces about the region's past and its peoples. But in the mere hours I talked to them, I didn't think it appropriate breach the subject, and ask them why they haven't begun the arduous process of getting the region known as Lapland to be popularly referred to as something else. Since you seem to identify so strongly and posture yourself to be so knowledgeable, I was asking you why they haven't. It seemed to me that even publications empathic to their history refer to their region as Lapland.
Now, if you can find an antidote for your venom, I still wouldn't mind an answer. Or maybe I should look to Annie to provide the information in a manner which doesn't make blood pound in my ears.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
The Downloader
This is a person paid twice or three times as much as you due to their expertise in a certain area. Let's say, for example: curriculum design. When meeting with the group, they hand out packets of downloaded material from websites most people already frequent.
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
Sorry about that then, AW; I thought you were being sarcastic. To the best of my knowledge, Finns are ok with being called Finns. As for Lappland, it has indeed been renamed Saamiland, Sápmi, or Samiland, but the change hasn't really percolated very far yet. Being worked on.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
King of Men, you are in rare form today, in this thread and everywhere.
Visit the Haiku thread. You've got a haiku written about you there.
Posted by King of Men (Member # 6684) on :
Too bad it sucks : No capitals in "King of Men", a missing apostrophe in "can't", and worst of all, it is not spelled "athiest". Though admittedly I am the athiest person on these boards. Siberia for him, five years.
Posted by jeniwren (Member # 2002) on :
The King of All He Surveys: This dude, though not actually your boss, feels comfortable giving you assignments that are actually his to do, and which, incidentally, he will take credit for if you do a good job. In consultant form, he passes out assignments to customers, treating CFOs and secretaries alike: as serfs in his fifedom. Workers at the hotels he stays at hate him, because he is very demanding and speaks to them as if they were naughty children.
If left to his ego, he becomes worse and worse at his job until he finally quits in a huff.
Posted by Enigmatic (Member # 7785) on :
People I hate working with today: Myself. I should stop working and go home.
KoM, you're the athiest poster ever! That cracks me up.
--Enigmatic (bored and nothing meaningful to say)
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
quote:Originally posted by King of Men:
it is not spelled "athiest".
Some folk are always trying to be athier than thou. Sheesh!
Posted by Icarus (Member # 3162) on :
quote: The Downloader
This is a person paid twice or three times as much as you due to their expertise in a certain area. Let's say, for example: curriculum design. When meeting with the group, they hand out packets of downloaded material from websites most people already frequent.
Tut tut. No fair. This is actually Unecessary Administrator you're describing, and you know I already listed him/her. And you know they don't have any expertise that the rest of us don't have, just a membership in ASCD.
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
Sad, but unfortunately true, is the Asperger. Social skills are nonexistent, but he may be brilliant in his own small area of expertise. Odd habits and rituals become law, and there is no flexibility about them. A common trait may also be poor hygiene. Best to let this poor soul work as independently as possible, since very few will be able to stand working with him.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Well then, Icarus, call me
The Reworder
The person who absorbs everyone else's ideas and takes credit for them as his/her own.
In fact, I was thinking of a specific person: Download Debbie, aka Curriculum Barbie.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
You know what scares me? My co-worker fits in about 2/3 of these categories . . .
Posted by The Reader (Member # 3636) on :
We have gone this far and not mentioned Clock-Watchers. These are the people that leave at precisely the end of their shift, no matter what they are doing, and no matter what is left. They leave the remainder of their work for the people working second shift.
Where I work, many of these people are also Warehouse-Monkeys.
Posted by sndrake (Member # 4941) on :
Me
Constantly procastinating. Fussing over every little detail. Highly distractible. A general pain to work with.
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
jeniwren should write a book about this.
I have one, courtesy of my mom:
The Unemployment leech - this is a worker whose goal is to not work. He takes menial jobs, and stays at the company only long enough to qualify for unemployment benefits. Then he invents a slight the company has done against him, quits "under duress" and files unemployment. Because most people on unemployment hearing boards give employees the benefit of the doubt, he almost always gets it, and he will live off these benefits until they run out, apply for another job so the cycle can start again.
That is a universal "he" BTW, unemployment leeches can be either gender.
Posted by Morbo (Member # 5309) on :
The Acronymaniac Also a Jargon Baby, but specializes in spouting out incomprehensible sentences that sound like alphabet soup read aloud. Gets huffy and defensive when you ask what the letters actually stand for, as he doesn't actually know, just knows the vaguest of definitions for most of the acronyms he constantly uses.
quote:Originally posted by Elizabeth: "Everything-they-know-is wrong: This person knows everything, except they think that 2+2=6, and red and blue make green. They often try to impress you with thier knowledge, and then get angry when you prove them wrong using simple examples."
Ha ha. My brother-in-law.
Before the Gulf War(the first)
Me: Do you think we should invade Iraq?
Him: Well, we let Hitler go too long, and look what happened: World War One.
He did not believe me when I mentioned that was the wrong war, and had to look it up in the encyclopedia. He is a Marine.
Wow, Hitler in WWII, that's a no-brainer, especially for a soldier.
I had a supervisor recently, out of the army for a couple of years, who was stunningly wrong, but oh-so-sure of himself. We argued politics once, and he came up with the gem that "N. Korea has several times more atomic bombs than the US." He was positive about this. I was taken aback, and said that unclassified intelligence would suggest they have anywhere between zero and perhaps 20-30 nuclear weapons, and that most probably the N. Koreans have a handful. While the US has well over 1000.
No use, I couldn't shake his extreme ignorance. I gave it up as a lost cause.
Another shift he got angry, yelly, and red in the face during a 45-minute arguement (we have a lot of down time and I was bored) about compass directions, a subject he knows nothing about. While I studied math for years as well as surveyed for 4 years, doing calculations with directions almost every day on that job.
I know, I know, appeal to authority, yada yada. But I can hardly summarize his ignorant ideas about direction, they made no sense and were even self-contradictory. A very odd argument.
So, he was transfered and I was promoted. Yay for me! Now I supervise a Pontificator, a guy who's fairly educated but can go on at great lengths about dull subjects, but him I can get along with.
Or do we even need a new category? He is American, after all, we do tend to natter on.
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