Different times, different feelings. But so different are they.
I first felt unbriddled joy, stayed up all night wrapped in pleasure, pink butterflies of giggliness bubbling up in a fountin from right under my naval. Then there was hunger. I am nothing but an animal, it seems. Dreams plague me, nothing but want. Lust is a four letter emotion it seems. Loneliness and pain and want for him, or for anybody, for strong arms to hold me. There was no pleasure in it; there was a falling into the self, rapidly plunging.
Then there was nothing. Nothing would happen. He was gone, not interested. Oh well. See him, smile, walk away. I'm strong. And then a whisper that he is interested, and then everything is melting in me. A call, and we will meet two days later. And then fear. What was to happen?
But when I think of him, the early passionate crush is no longer. There is a strong tingling, like an electric current, running in a triangle through my chest. The butterflies are in the current, but they are swept rapidly through, and not enjoyed, but seen once, then gone, and left is the tingle of the electricity.
I am scared, somewhat. This thing called love has a taser, and I am being electrocuted. Gah!
[ July 03, 2005, 08:35 PM: Message edited by: Phanto ]
Posted by Tante Shvester (Member # 8202) on :
Yikes! Sounds like an overdose of adolescent hormones!
(so glad I'm not doing THAT anymore)
Good luck with that roller coaster thing.
Posted by Synesthesia (Member # 4774) on :
hnn It's not just hormones... It's sheer hell. All that soul gravity. Drives me mad. That's how I felt about someone once, but now, that is gone and replaced with pain and a bit of longing.
Posted by Boris (Member # 6935) on :
Well, that about sums up my last...month and a half.