...and it was quite a pleasant experience .
Posted by St. Yogi (Member # 5974) on :
I'm always impressed when I meet passionate, dedicated people, and this guy was both of those things as well as laid back, pleasant and funny. I was also impressed with how well he spoke the language, he had only been in Norway for fifteen months.
He invited me and my friend to a barbecue on saturday. We might actually attend, even though we have no interest in converting. Is this okay, or are we giving him false hopes?
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Nope, you're fine - attend the barbeque, eat their food, and if they serve jello you are officially allowed to mock it.
You only give false hopes by promising anything you don't intend to do/keep, but the barbeque sounds fine - like fun. You can tell us what the LDS in Norway are like.
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
I don't think there's any harm in going to the barbecue anyway. It's not like you're going on a date with him even though you don't like him. And anyway, he's probably used to hearing people say that they're not interested, so I'm sure he'll be fine.
Posted by Puffy Treat (Member # 7210) on :
Will the activity be used as an opportunity to get to know you better and possibly extend the invitation again? Yes, most likely it will be. But, that's not the only purpose in inviting you. Most members of the Church genuinely like helping others have a good time whether they're investigators or not.
It all depends on you...does that sort of thing bother you?
He'll only get "false hopes" if you tell him you're interested in being taught but you're really not.
Posted by St. Yogi (Member # 5974) on :
Well, what if I'm interested in learning about the religion, but have no real interest in converting?
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Actually, tell them that. They might say "We can't help." (they are there to find those interested in converting), and they might say fine, let's start, and then they will probably ask you again later, in case what you learned and how you feel has changed your mind.
Depending on the mission, anywhere from one in ten to one in a hundred of the people missionaries teach will actually convert.
Posted by Primal Curve (Member # 3587) on :
So what would happen if I brought Jello shots to a mormon barbeque?
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Well, it wouldn't be very polite.
Some people would probably laugh, and some would probably look at you askance, and some might ask you to leave. It all depends on how obnoxious you were about it, and what kind of people they were.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
It would be as blatantly disrespectful as bringing a roasted pig to a Seder. You'd probably be treated like someone who would do that.
Posted by Primal Curve (Member # 3587) on :
No crap, katharina. Maybe that's why I said it in the first place.
Posted by Katarain (Member # 6659) on :
My mom had some mormon missionaries come to her house once. They were very nice, and offered to come and do some work around her house. My mom lives alone and isn't in the condition to do those sorts of things. I was very pleased that they offered to help her and she accepted. I was disappointed in my own church that they did not help her. I'm sure she didn't lead them on that she was interested in converting, but they still helped her.
I was impressed.
-Katarain
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
Katarain, missionaries are required to do service hours, and most I have talked to enjoy them, so they really are genuinely glad to help. Posted by Primal Curve (Member # 3587) on :
quote:missionaries are required to do service hours
Well, that takes all the selflessness out of it. Posted by Katarain (Member # 6659) on :
That's what I was thinking... But I'm still inclined to be impressed and grateful anyway.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Missionaries do four hours of service a week. For some, it is scheduled (we worked at a food bank and...other stuff like that - I can't remember), and for some, they are to look for opportunities and make sure they get four hours in, but not more. It can be very tempting to skip the Knock-and-get-rejected routine to do service, which is why they are supposed to limit them.
Posted by Puffy Treat (Member # 7210) on :
Required, but not _forced_.
Posted by UofUlawguy (Member # 5492) on :
I had a companion that used to offer to chop wood for people, whether they needed it or not. I think he found it therapeutic.
One of my favorite things to do was during the corn harvest. In Central America, everyone in the household gathers out in the courtyard to shuck the ears of corn. You have to do it a certain way, so that the husks are intact, because they are used later to wrap tamalitos or other local dishes. The husked ears are then placed on the rooftops to dry. Once they are dry, everyone gathers once again to twist the kernels off the cobs. It is a time-consuming process.
So in the weeks following the harvest, if I offered to come in and helped with either shucking the corn or removing the kernels I was usually quite welcome. I got to be really good at it. And my super-fast shucking technique has stood me in good stead since I returned.
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
quote:Originally posted by Primal Curve:
quote:missionaries are required to do service hours
Well, that takes all the selflessness out of it.
Well, the entire mission is a volunteer thing, so by volunteering to go in the first place, you're volunteering to do your "required" service hours.
Posted by Zeugma (Member # 6636) on :
I'm having a hard time believing that bringing jello shots to a Mormon barbeque would be as blatantly disrespectful as bringing pork to one of the more serious Jewish holiday observances, but whatever floats your boat....
Posted by Primal Curve (Member # 3587) on :
How volunteer is it, though, JB? Isn't it basically a serious social taboo to be a young LDS male and not go on your mission?
Posted by UofUlawguy (Member # 5492) on :
In some places and times, it has been. In general, a young LDS man is expected to go on a mission. All things being equal, it is considered a spiritual obligation. However, all things are not equal. There are legitimate reasons not to go, and in recent years those reasons have been expanded.
Posted by Puffy Treat (Member # 7210) on :
quote:Originally posted by Primal Curve: How volunteer is it, though, JB? Isn't it basically a serious social taboo to be a young LDS male and not go on your mission?
Young men are urged to go, but if they don't aren't ostracized or disfellowshipped. (not by the Church, anyway. The young man's family might express disappointment openly. It depends on the family.)
Because, one of the most important things is that the young man actually wants to go...to do this of his own moral agency. That's why the interviews and requirements are so strict.
I went when I was 20, not 19...because I needed to sort out my feelings and motives on whether I actually wanted to do this or was going to do it because I had been told to. My Church leaders and family understood that.
Going on a mission is important, which is why they want young men doing it because they actually want to. And are prepared to.
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
quote:Originally posted by Primal Curve: How volunteer is it, though, JB? Isn't it basically a serious social taboo to be a young LDS male and not go on your mission?
I've read more than once that only one-third of Mormon young men go on missions. I know lots of guys that haven't gone (me included).
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
PC, my husband did not serve a mission. (There were extenuating circumstances.) Lots of people act embarrassed when he says he didn't go; many girls wouldn't talk to him after they found out he hadn't gone on a mission when he was single. (Actually, when asked where he served his mission, he usually says "Richardson"-- the city where we live-- because he was called as Ward Mission Leader during much of that time, and considers it the equivalent.) We hope to go on a couples mission when we're older. Yes, there is a definite social stigma, even when it's becuase of circumstances that couldn't possibly be controlled by the young man. But with physical and emotional requirements getting stricter, I see more and more young men not going, and less of a stigma involved, in the future.
Posted by Primal Curve (Member # 3587) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jon Boy:
quote:Originally posted by Primal Curve: How volunteer is it, though, JB? Isn't it basically a serious social taboo to be a young LDS male and not go on your mission?
I've read more than once that only one-third of Mormon young men go on missions. I know lots of guys that haven't gone (me included).
Well, now I have more reasons to call you a goober.
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
You didn't have enough already? But just in case you weren't aware, I have health problems that prevented me from going.
Posted by Primal Curve (Member # 3587) on :
Health problems don't exist. It's all in your mind. You just didn't want to go.
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
Wow! You sound like a doctor and a judgmental neighbor rolled into one!
Posted by Primal Curve (Member # 3587) on :
Quackery!
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
"He invited me and my friend to a barbecue on saturday. We might actually attend, even though we have no interest in converting. Is this okay, or are we giving him false hopes?"
Bear in mind that this is how they get you. Next thing you know, you'll meet some hot Mormon chick and wind up announcing on Hatrack that you're leaving for a mission a year or so later.
Posted by Jon Boy (Member # 4284) on :
Tom: Shh!
Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
I grinned at two biking Mormon missionaries on campus yesterday. I'm sure they thought I was insane. Posted by Primal Curve (Member # 3587) on :
They sure do know how to grow 'em in Utah.
Posted by Boris (Member # 6935) on :
Tom, just because it happened to Hobbes (kinda) Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
*resists temptation to invite Tom, Christy, and Sophie to a picnic*
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
He converted (mostly, anyway, if without the actual baptism) before he and Annie started dating.
Posted by IrishAphrodite19 (Member # 1880) on :
When I met my first Mormon missionaries, it was while I was working for Habitat for Humanity in Bulgaria. Appearently they would come over to the house we were working on every Thursday and help the construction workers build for a couple of hours. It was nice, they swooped in, broke up a concrete slab for us, and acted as 8 extra interpreters.
~Irish
Posted by Boris (Member # 6935) on :
quote:Originally posted by adam613: Hold on...was Hobbes not LDS before he met Annie??
Oh yeah, but Tom didn't say anything about WHEN the meeting of the hot Mormon chick was to happen. Posted by St. Yogi (Member # 5974) on :
quote:Bear in mind that this is how they get you. [Wink] Next thing you know, you'll meet some hot Mormon chick and wind up announcing on Hatrack that you're leaving for a mission a year or so later.
Hehe, no thanks. I already have a girlfriend and I'm planning on bringing her to the barbecue .
Plus, I have a lot of opinions and beliefs that seem to conflict with what the majority of mormons believe. I'm just going to go to the barbecue, have a good time, and be as respectful as I can towards other people's beliefs while not trying to hide my own.
Posted by Dragon (Member # 3670) on :
hehe
I'm going to a party at a mormon friend's house this friday, but I don't think its actually a mormon event.
thanks to this thread, I know not to bring jello shots!
j/k
Posted by Boris (Member # 6935) on :
Hey, Jello Shots are fine, as long as it's actually just a shot glass filled with Jello (No ackyhall)
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Actually, I've had parties and dinners before where I invited both LDS and non-LDS friends and some of my guests, unaware of my religion, brought alcohol. I wasn't offended at all (they were bringing really nice wine as a gift! How thoughful!) and actually worried about whether or not I had offended them in politely turning it down by explaining that most of us there didn't drink.
It's all about intentions. If someone naïvely showed up at a Seder with a pork roast, I'm sure the hosts would be understanding. However, if someone knew I was LDS and purposely brought Jello shots because they thought it was a funny way to mock me, I think I would be a little hurt. Not because there was evil fire water in my house, but because a friend was being intentionally rude.
On a completely different topic: Annie is not a "hot Mormon chick." Annie is, until further notice, to be refered to as Sister Majors. Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
I called myself "Sister P" in my head for up to six months after I got back. Posted by Zeugma (Member # 6636) on :
Yeah, I can understand that reaction, Annie... but when I think about someone bringing an intact cooked pig into our house for a Seder, I know that it would make my husband nauseous and quite upset, and ruin his evening. I don't know if that would be the norm for most Jews, but for families who go to such painstaking efforts to clean their houses for Passover, it seems like it would be a particularly mortifying gesture, far beyond a few hurt feelings because friends were trying to mock you.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
If someone brought Jello shots and didn't mention what was in them, I'd imagine most Mormons would have the same reaction.
Posted by Primal Curve (Member # 3587) on :
Just for the record, I wouldn't bring Jello shots to a Mormon shindig. In fact, I'd never even make the things. I mean, really, they are the ultimate in lame, Frat-party alcoholism. I have a much more refined taste in alcohol (or so I'd like to think) and don't need Jello to dumb it down so that it tastes like candy. I just thought it was an amusing way of making Jello very non-LDS.
I also would respect the fact that you don't consume alcohol, caffeine or any hot drink and just bring root beer or lemonade or something. Maybe I'd just play it safe and bring potato chips instead. Posted by Taalcon (Member # 839) on :
It is true, though. When I took my discussions, more than a few of them were at the houses of guys with Hot Young Mormon Wives™.
If I didn't know better, I'd have thought that they were implying that one was included in the Baptismal Package.
Posted by UofUlawguy (Member # 5492) on :
Annie:"On a completely different topic: Annie is not a "hot Mormon chick." Annie is, until further notice, to be refered to as Sister Majors."
Being missionaries never stopped a lot of the Sisters in my mission from being Hot Mormon Chicks. I just never would have called them that. To their faces.
Although by the end, I was (jestingly) "engaged" to three or four of them.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
Oh, you were that elder! The one that gets along with the sisters.
The elders will either love you or hate you, Sister M. It always seems to work that way. In my last area, an elder and I were in the same district for seven months. He was darling, my elder buddy, and I talked to him about six months ago. Very fun.
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
If someone came into my house, sat down, and lit a cigarette, I'd be pretty angry. My wife would ban that person and then get everything cleaned.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
I already have an elder friend, actually. We're the only two "just called" ones to have signed up on our mission homepage, and we go into the MTC on the same day, so we've been emailing excitement back and forth.
Of course, I am also five years older than most of the elders, so perhaps interactions will be a little weird. To say the least. I think the only thing freakier than a bookish, tall sister missionary is a bookish, tall sister missionary who's Really Old.
Posted by RoyHobbs (Member # 7594) on :
This is so weird... a Mormon missionary came to MY house today too... and I live near Washington, DC!
Could it have been the same guys...? They hinted at special spiritual powers they could offer me, maybe that's what they're talking about...
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
There are two Mormon missionaries from my podunk little town currently in DC. Wouldn't that be weird if one of them was the one who came to your house and we just made ourselves a really small Kevin Bacon circle?
Posted by UofUlawguy (Member # 5492) on :
kat:"Oh, you were that elder! The one that gets along with the sisters."
Yes, I was. I got along famously with them. That's because I'm a Nice Guy. I was a District Leader for most of my mission (never a ZL or AP), and for most of that time my district(s) consisted of my own companionship and a set (2 or 3) of Sisters. Twice, the most famously annoying sister missionary was put in my district, and except for one occasion when she punched me in the gut, we got along great.
I never understood why so many Elders (especially DLs and ZLs) were annoyed by the Sisters. They seemed to think they were whiny and useless, which I never found to be true at all.
One of my companions was a brand-new Zone Leader, and the most deadly earnest missionary I ever knew. You could always see this strenuous look on his face that showed he was constantly trying to Be the Best He Could Be. He couldn't unbend. One Sister who was about to finish her mission loved to tease him. One night, we were talking about what she planned to do when she got home. Dating came up, and whether she had any prospects. She teasingly suggested that she could marry my companion. He sputtered and said he couldn't do that. So she asked me. I thought the whole thing was hilarious, and I accepted her proposal. (During a later, similarly-themed conversation, my companion tried to give this Sister a pep talk, and mentioned that there were many fish in the sea. Standing in the next room, I heard this comment and piped up with, "Yes, but I am the shark." She cracked up at this, and ever after she called me El Tiburon.)
Later in my mission, I would repeat the story to other Sisters, and at least two or three of them "proposed" to me as well. On one occasion, two of them did so at the same time. It was all in fun, but at the same time I was very flattered at all the attention.
Sister missionaries are the best.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
I'm glad to hear that, Lawguy. I've heard a lot of mean-spirited teasing about sister missionaries, and it always makes me feel better to hear someone with positive things to say.
Posted by Eaquae Legit (Member # 3063) on :
Why on earth would the elders not like the sister missionaries?
I was, last fall, in about the same place as St. Yogi. I was interested in learning about the church, but not in converting. I had a pair of funny, kind, and intelligent sisters visit me, and we had some wonderful talks about both LDS and Catholicism. They had to leave suddenly, though, and I really wish they'd been able to stick around. I just wasn't as comfortable with the elders who took their place. I still wish I could talk to the sisters, since I still have questions and such. (Out of curiosity, why DO the missionaries get switched around so much and so suddenly?)
Actually, I felt really not at ease with any of the elders I met (I met a few when I attended a service on Sunday). Definitely, having sister missionaries is important.
Posted by TomDavidson (Member # 124) on :
"Out of curiosity, why DO the missionaries get switched around so much and so suddenly?"
It's very important to rotate your missionaries every 3,000 miles to avoid wear.
Posted by katharina (Member # 827) on :
quote:Yes, I was. I got along famously with them. That's because I'm a Nice Guy. I was a District Leader for most of my mission (never a ZL or AP), and for most of that time my district(s) consisted of my own companionship and a set (2 or 3) of Sisters.
My first district leader was like this. Elder Watson - Watty! He was absolutely darling. He somehow managed to be patient and caring without doing the raging, uncomfortable flirting that a lot of elders do. I adored him, and was completely spoiled for the rest of my mission. I thought all DLs were like that.
I was probably one of the difficult sisters, but that's because I was kind of fragile and not very indulgent. Also, I didn't (still don't) take direction particularly well, although I did try. The fact that I was trying to take direction at all was a huge change from pre-mission Katie.
I was the Fragile Sister, because my mom died right before I left on my mission. My mission prez, bless his heart, would transfer the elder instead of me if there were problems. *sigh* I'd probably be a much easier sister now, but at least we were usually obedient and did well. At one set of interviews, Prez told our DL that they'd do better if they followed the sisters' example. Made us feel great, although it didn't do much to improve relations.
[ July 01, 2005, 01:09 PM: Message edited by: katharina ]
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
The sisters in our mission had a much lower tolerance for laziness than the elders did. I always thought it ironic that time spent baking treats for investigator dinners were called 'sister hours,' since, inevitably, only elders wound up doing that particular activity.
Most of my friends in high school were girls, so I didn't find getting along with the sister missionaries very difficult. Or, at least, I'm not aware that I was difficult to get along with.
:props to le Sorelle:
Posted by UofUlawguy (Member # 5492) on :
I don't know whether the sisters in my districts took direction well, because I didn't give them directions. I had weekly planning meetings with them, and helped them with investigators when they needed it (e.g. with single men), and did baptismal interviews, and we generally spent our P-days together.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Scott, when were you in Italy?
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
1995-1997.
It feels like yesterday.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
I have a friend who was a sister missionary there, but I'm thinking she got back in 99. So she probably missed you. What mission were you in?
Posted by gnixing (Member # 768) on :
I was in Milano from 96-98.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Milan... that may have been where she was. Did you know a Sister Stovall?
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
>>I was in Milano from 96-98.
I'm Anziano Scott Roberts. Who're you?
I served in Chivasso, Cuneo, Settimo Torinese (Torino Monterosa branch, I think), Milano Ortica, Milano Loreto, and Milano Turro (Milano II Ward). My companions were Paul Benson, Gene Nielson, Steve Spigarelli, Derek Jones, Paul Phillips, Donald Sandberg, Jeremy Hanna, Jeff Hodson, Mike Grummert, Matt Clonts, Spencer Wooley, and Kent Roper.
Any connections? I'm dying to know who you are!
Sorella Stovell, hmm. . . the name rings a bell, but I don't know. I've got a roster with all the missionaries and their pictures from '96, but I don't see any Stovells. Sorry, Annie!
Posted by Dante (Member # 1106) on :
Scott! I taught Jeremy Hanna in the MTC! I taught a Sandberg, too, but I don't remember his first name.
Posted by Goody Scrivener (Member # 6742) on :
Okay, I'm chiming in = number 3 this week! Yep, I just had a visit by a pair of elders. My first thought, "oh man they're so YOUNG!!!!!" One of them was at least aware of Hatrack (I suppose it helped that I had Shadow Puppets in hand when I answered teh door?) but didn't seem to be familiar with us. Cute kids too. =)
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
>>Scott! I taught Jeremy Hanna in the MTC! I taught a Sandberg, too, but I don't remember his first name.
NO WAY!! (Hanna and Sandberg were in the same group) I served in the same city (Settimo Torinese) with both of them-- Hanna after Sandberg. Sandberg was so completely, totally, utterly neato. I love that guy. Which is completely odd, since we're polar opposites. He was very fiery, very blunt, very direct, and MAN, was he a workhorse! He'd talk to everyone, do anything. . . He was inspiring.
Hanna was very different than Sandberg, and we got along well, too, I think. Hanna was really sharp-- I think he empathized very well with people. He was quiet, and contemplative, and he understood "things." I've got a great photo of him at a citofono in the pouring rain.
Ah, freakin' COOL!
I went back and read through my mission journal-- man. I'd forgotten how much I loved being a missionary, and how much I loved PEOPLE in general. It makes me reevaluate the person I am now-- because the man who wrote those things is a guy I've discovered I miss.
Kick in the head, ain't it, to find out that you are not who you were, and you rather liked the guy you were a bit more than who you are. . .
Posted by advice for robots (Member # 2544) on :
I was one of those sister elders as well. I spent my whole mission serving with them. I was the Problem Solver and the Shoulder to Cry On.
I have always thought sisters were the best missionaries in the mission. I loved to serve with them. I can't understand how some elders just couldn't get along with them.
Posted by Dragon (Member # 3670) on :
Wow. That is SO cool!
So* the Mormon party I just went to... they didn't have jello! Green or otherwise! I complained, and they agreed that jello is very important, but for some reason they hadn't made any for this party!
I was disappointed.
Posted by Annie (Member # 295) on :
Did they have a casserole with chopped up spaghetti noodles, cheddar cheese, black olives and a hard-to-identify shredded meat? I've seen that one pop up at Mormon potlucks across the nation.
Posted by gnixing (Member # 768) on :
<-- was Anziano Duckworth. I knew a few of your companions. Sorella Stovall also is a familiar name, but I was only around a few sister missionaries. I served in Torino Campidoglio, Vercelli, Busto Arsizio, Piacenza, and Torino Monterosa.
Posted by Scott R (Member # 567) on :
>>and Torino Monterosa.
Torino Monterosa was my favorite branch! I was in the branch for about eight months. My companionship had Settimo Torinese and a HUGE swath of wilderness (including the very beautiful Ivrea). I wound up being the elder that closed Settimo . It hurt-- a lot. I could have easily and happily spent the rest of my mission (had about 6 months left) there.
In total, I think I served in Settimo Tse for about 8 months.
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
.
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
Next thing you know, you'll meet some hot Mormon chick and wind up announcing on Hatrack that you're leaving for a mission a year or so later.
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Confused]](confused.gif)
![[Dont Know]](graemlins/dontknow.gif)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
. It hurt-- a lot. I could have easily and happily spent the rest of my mission (had about 6 months left) there.