I know we have several teachers here, so I'm interested in hearing your thoughts. To my knowledge, our new school doesn't ask for feedback on teachers at the end of the year. Our son's teacher is awesome in every way. My daughter's - umm, not so much.
Operaetta seems to like her, but some of the things she has told me kind of bother me. For one, every single time Operaetta has so much as a sniffle, her teacher tells her that she needs to not come to school. Earlier this year Operaetta had pink eye, and after she was cleared by the dr. to return to school, she described to her teacher how we washed our hands before and after putting the eye drops in (she was still on them at the time). Operaetta said her teacher replied, "If you have to wash your hands after your eye drops then you shouldn't be at school." Huh? Who *doesn't* wash their hands when applying eye drops? We'd already turned in a dr.'s note saying she wasn't contagious.
Operaetta also told me that one of her classmates cries for a long time after she falls down and that her teacher has to say, "Grow up, X!" When Operaetta repeated this, she said it in a really nasty tone. I can understand not wanting a child to go on and on, but "grow up" seems extreme to me.
I've met her teacher on 2 occasions, and she's not very personable. The first time I came in especially to eat lunch with Operaetta and see the classroom (as explained in a prior note to teacher) and was not offered the chance to even look around the classroom. Any time I've offered to help I've gotten the distinct impression that help is not welcome - e.g. "I'll keep you in mind for a volunteer." Operaetta has a field trip coming up, so I told her to ask if I could chaperone. Operaetta said the teacher said, "No! Only 4 parents are going and your mom can't." There was never a sheet that came home asking for chaperones, so I'm not sure how she got 4 the morning after the trip was announced. Either way, the teacher just seems a bit rude.
If we'd moved earlier in the year I probably would have asked that Operaetta switch classrooms - especially after hearing the "grow up" comment. As it is, it's one month till school's out so no biggie. As I said, Operaetta has never said a bad word about her teacher, so I've every reason to believe that what she says (and her impressions of the teacher's tone) are true. Is it worth saying anything about? Educational needs seem to be being met, but I truly have a problem with the teacher's attitude with students - is this something the school would be interested in hearing, or would I just be seen as a whiny parent?
space opera
Posted by Katarain (Member # 6659) on :
I was a teacher, and will likely be going back to the profession, despite all of my claims to the contrary. It is very hard, very demanding work. I taught high school, which, of course, is a lot different from elementary. Criticism from parents was extremely hard for me, as a young and inexperienced teacher, to take.
Having said that, yes, you should definitely share your concerns with someone. I would suggest the principal or one of the assistant principals. Pick one who seems personable and fair. We had 4 at our school, and I know I would have hated for any parent to complain to the principal--he was evil. I would have rather they talked to one of the vice principals, because they were fair and personable and very good at what they did. They would be sure to talk to me about the situation in a appropriate and gentle way--without getting mean and nasty (like the principal would). They also would follow up on the complaint and make sure something actually changed--even to the point of not hiring the teacher back if necessary.
So pick someone good... and talk to them about your concerns. It sounds to me like there's not much point in talking to the teacher first.
-Katarain
Posted by Katarain (Member # 6659) on :
And keep in mind that contracts are probably already signed for next year. So even if she changes nothing, they really can't do anything for a whole year.
But Operetta probably won't get her again, right? And that's good.
But talk to someone for the sake of the other children..
-Katarain
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
In many states, teachers get tenure. The teacher my son has this year quite obviously does -- as well as serving in some sort of administrative capacity for the district (she takes a day off every couple months to do something or other for that).
We have been very unhappy with the way she has dealt with a number of issues. Since my son is on an IEP, we meet with the admin (and teacher, but she can usually only stay for part of the meeting) three times a year. And we have also spoken to the assistant principal or principal several times.
They are quite receptive to our issues, and usually get the particular problem dealt with quickly. (Like a recent one, where the teacher dealt with my son's misbehavior in class by not sending home his homework packet. Shockingly, his behavior on Mondays (homework packet days) deteriorated rapidly. He now gets his packet regardless, and other methods are used to deal with misbehavior.)
But I get the distinct impression that they are stuck with her. And there's no question that her classroom is quiet. I just am not sure much learning goes on in it. Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Space Opera,
Instead of going just by what your daughter says, ask the teacher. Tell her your concerns. "My daughter felt (bla bla) when you said (bla bla)"
At that point, you are not confronting her, really, just saying how your daughter felt. If you do not like the responce you get, ask to speak with the principal.
I have kids and I teach kids. It is important for the adults to communicate directly, because information often gets changed through kids' filters.
Posted by beatnix19 (Member # 5836) on :
As one of the resident teachers I actually agree with what many people have already said. I am one of those people that appreciate constructive critisism so I have always taken parent complaints or concerns without problem. I haven't had many of them but the few I have had have caused me to take a look at the way I do things and I have been able to adjust my efforts to be a bit more effective. I have only been a teacher for 4 years so I realize I have a lot to learn. Unfortunately not all teachers feel this way. I have never had a problem with parents, administrator or other teachers in my room. I feel I have nothing to hide but some teachers hate having anyone evaluate their teaching style. These teachers are a complete pain for everyone: Students, Parents, administrators, and especially the other teachers. I work with a teacher who is absolutely horrible. I know that I have had parents come to me to voice their concerns and I ALWAYS direct them to the Principal. You have to understand that if you have these issues their is a good chance that others may have them as well and not just the other parents. By voicing them to your principal you are makig sure the issue is delt with. It may be that you have just caught a bad impression but overall this teacher is a decent person and caring teacher that has had a bad year and your comments may help this teacher re-evaluate herself and her classroom behavior. And if this is an ongoing problem you may be the voice that forces the principal to address the problem and make sure it gets rectified. I know it does you little good for you child but it will be a good step for inproving the school as a whole.
Posted by beatnix19 (Member # 5836) on :
I would second Elizabeth. Speak to the Teacher as well. Make sure she is aware of your concerns. That is not always easy or plesant but it's you daughter she spends all day with. It's part of her job to listen to your concerns. You do not have to just sit by and let things go. Plus by speaking ot her you will get a good idea if going to the principal is a good idea. It even makes it esaier.
"Hello Principal so-and-so. I just wanted to let you know of a conversation I had with Mrs. -----. I had some concerns and she was very receptive to my thoughts, blah, blah, blah..." This way it comes off somewhat possitive and you still make sure the principal is aware of your concern.
Of course if the teacher blows you off then you have an additional piece to bring to the principal and I know the principal will be gald to get your feedback.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
There is a bad way to give feedback. That would be going straight to the superintendent. This might seem like a "But who would do that unless it was really, really, bad?" kind of thing, but, sadly, it is not. When I worked in Springfield, the parents went straight to the superintendent, often with a threat of a lawsuit. This was quite often just for a teacher raising their voice to a student. Oh, it was fun.
Posted by beatnix19 (Member # 5836) on :
Oh, yea! Take care of it in house. Don't go to the Superintendant unless you have no other choice and your situation certainly doesn't call for that. I hate thaose people that just go screaming to the Ed Center (our administration offices) without ever trying to solve their issues in the school first. Stinkin' trouble makers.
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
Since we're kind of on the subject, I have a question maybe I can get guidance on too.
My 1st grader Em came home telling me that today she got to "be special." That meant she was taken out of class to the school counselor's office and interviewed by the counselor. I asked her what questions she was asked and it was like "If you had 3 wishes what would you wish for?" And "Tell me about your family and who lives with you."
Then there were questions about whether or not she, Em, was "having any problems." I couldn't determine if they were asking about home or school.
Now, Em's teacher and I have have spoken many times and I consider us to have a good relationship, so if there is a problem I don't understand why I wasn't called about it. Is this just something that school counselors do - take kids out of class to question them about their home life? I'm a little disturbed they took her out of class and questioned her without my permission.
I'm not sure if I should ask Em's teacher what's up, call the counselor, or call the principal to see what is going on. I asked if any of the other kids went to see the counselor and she said no, the teacher told her it was just her time to "be special."
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Belle,
When kids ar having trouble with another student, or with school, I might send them to the guidance counselor. But I teach middle school, and kids are always having "issues." And I am lucky if I can find an available guidance counselor.
However, this sounds more pointed, and I would get on in there. Speak to the counselor. Say you would prefer and expect to be notified if your child was being asked these questions.
Just ask point blank.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Belle, this was on my mind when I woke up this morning. It is really bothering me. Something just seems sneaky and manipulative about this.
Posted by Annie Mayhem (Member # 6203) on :
There are several possibilities, as I see it:
1. All the children get to see the counselor, but Em got chosen to go first for some reason.
2. There is a minor problem -- of the "talking too much in class" or "chewing gum" variety -- that the teacher feels isn't worth bothering you about.
3. Em is acting out, or someone THINKS she is, and the counselor wants to find out what's going on in her life. The counselor could be checking for major life changes like moving, divorce, a death in the family, birth of a sibling, loss of a pet, etc. (This seems likely, given the "Three Wishes" scenario).
4. The counselor could be checking for mental or minor physical problems, anything from learning disabilities to nearsightedness. (Speaking from experience, I've been myopic since 4th grade).
5. Someone suspects that Em is being abused. In this case, the school would not only NOT notify the parent(s), it would probably arrange for a specialist to talk to Em at school and/or send her to the school nurse (if there is one).
Did you ask Em how she ANSWERED the questions?
"Annie Mayhem"
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
Hey guys, sorry I didn't get back to this today. Things got even more disturbing - Em says she saw the counselor again today, and the counselor said "I heard your weren't paying attention in class. Is there something you're worried about?"
WHAT? In a strange twist of fate, today was progress report day and she got 4 A's and 2 B's and a statisfactory conduct grade and the teacher wrote no comments on the report at all - in other words not mentioning any concerns.
So, I wrote a letter. See what you think:
quote:
Dear Mrs. P,
I wanted to touch base with you a bit about Em – things have been wild and crazy at home, with the end of the semester approaching, and I know you are very busy as well.
I hope that Emily is behaving well, please tell me if you are having any problems. I was pleased with her progress report, I think she’s come a long way this year, and I know her reading has really improved.
I have a question about something Em mentioned to me, and knowing kids I wanted to verify with you what happened in case something got mixed up in translation. Em said she has been sent to the counselor’s office twice in the last couple weeks, and that the counselor is asking her questions about problems that she is having at school and/or at home. This is a bit concerning, because obviously I would want to be informed first if there are any problems that need my attention. Em said the counselor told her that she had not been paying attention in class. I didn’t know that was a problem, since you haven't mentioned it to me and her conduct grades seem fine.
My first thought is that this was just the counselor checking in with kids, and Em was either a random sample being interviewed or the counselor was checking in with all the first graders, but Em told me today that she felt like she was there because something was wrong – and that the counselor kept asking her about “problems” or what she was worried or upset about. Em has not told me she was upset about anything at school, quite the opposite in fact, she loves going and she loves you and your class.
I would really appreciate you just explaining everything so I can have full understanding of what is going on. Thank you for everything.
Sincerely,
Belle
Posted by whiskysunrise (Member # 6819) on :
The letter sounds good to me. Hope all is well.
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
The more I think about it the more worried and upset I get.
Now I'm imagining people believing I am a child abuser or something. And the thing is - if you looked for bruises on Em, you'd find them - she is in gymnastics and plays outside every day, she's got bruises.
Thing is - why suspect something like that if she is doing fine in school, she has friends, some that even call her and talk to her (which I don't encourage I don't think seven year olds should spend a lot of time talking on the phone to friends), she is excited to go to school in the morning. She's dressed in clean clothes, she gets baths, her hair and teeth are brushed - she isn't neglected. What could be going on?
I'm scared now. Posted by whiskysunrise (Member # 6819) on :
Posted by ketchupqueen (Member # 6877) on :
When I heard those questions, and that you weren't notified, they screamed "suspected abuse" to me. That's the kind of questions I got pulled aside and asked all the time when my parents were lying about each other in court and each saying that the other was abusing us.
Of course, I never answered truthfully. I knew what the score was.
However, it may just be that she seems stressed, is having a problem with another child, etc., and they forgot to notify you/it's just not in the system to do so. I hope for your sake it's the latter, false abuse accusations are a PAIN.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Belle, it will be ok. Worst case, and the school does suspect something like that -- any investigation will clear you almost instantly.
I had a school where my kids were (and are no longer!) call Social Services on me (long story, but the short version is they were pre-disposed against me -- divorcées are evil, don't you know? ). Not only did the person from Social Services walk in my door saying the report didn't make sense (scrapes consistent with a fall) as abuse, he walked out (after speaking to each of my kids) saying that if the school pulled anything like that again, I was protected by having this disproven incident already recorded.
It will be ok. (((((Belle&family))))) And I think the letter should help get you there -- it's useful for a number of reasons. Good luck!
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
Oh as to how she answered the questions, you don't get anything but honesty from Emily. Truly. she's the most forthright kid in the world.
She told me that when the teacher asked if she was upset about anything at home, she said no, but she was worried about show-off day. That's the day coming up where the gymnasts perform for their families. She's worried because there is a jump on the balance beam in the routine and she's nervous because she fell off the beam once before on that jump. So she said the counselor told her how to breathe deep to keep from being nervous.
When asked if she had problems at school, she said one boy called her a name in line at lunch. When asked to draw a picture of her family, she drew her entire family. Filled up the page, she said she drew me, and Daddy and Nana and her siblings and Aunt Robin and her kids and Aunt Robin's grandkids....Hey, it was all family, right?
She said for the three wishes - she wants a bar, a beam, and a gymnasium so she can practice anytime she wants to.
I wonder if they think I've turned into some kind of freaky sports mom who makes her practice all the time? (not the case, I never tell her to practice, if she does it's on her own but I do not push for anything)
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
You know what, I'm not waiting for the teacher to write me back. I'm calling the counselor tomorrow.
At the first of the year she sent home a letter saying if we, the parents, had any concerns about anything she was always open to talking to us so I'm going to take her up on it.
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Belle, I was going to say, get in there now!
The letter is very good, but a bit on the indirect/passive aggressive side.(You are being polite, but I don;t really think you have to be, is I guess what my point is)If you send it, I would cc it to both the counselor and the principal.
OK, I just reread the letter, trying to figure out why it felt a bit passive aggressive. It was the first part, about how she did well. It seemed to set up an implication: she is doing well, so why didn;t you tell me she was having problems?
So, that would be the only part I would have difficulty with. Just say that more directly. (this is just feedback, I am not trying to be critical.)
There is definitely a different agenda being pushed here. This has bothered me since you first mentioned it, because I know that sometimes counselors and administrators will take advantage of parents who are not in their face. Get in their faces on this one, Belle.
[ April 29, 2005, 09:26 AM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]
Posted by Annie Mayhem (Member # 6203) on :
Re: suspected abuse and bruises
Don't worry too much about the bruises; it's fairly easy to distinguish between normal childhood bruises and "beating" bruises.
And "not paying attention in class" is a minor problem. Could be:
1. The teacher is boring. 2. The subject is boring. 3. Something else (talking to classmates, reading a book, looking out the window, daydreaming, doodling, whatever) is more interesting. 4. Em is gifted and needs more stimulation. 5. Possible vision and/or hearing problem? 6. Other physical problem (needs a potty break REAL bad and is fidgety, is coming down with the flu, food allergies, ADD...) 7. Simple distraction (worried about show-off day, wondering why that boy called her a name at lunch...)
Since EM loves gymnastics, she may be a kinetic learner; and unfortunately she won't find much in the traditional education system geared toward that learning style. Does she like "doing" more than "reading" or "listening"?
-=AM=-
[ April 29, 2005, 10:13 AM: Message edited by: Annie Mayhem ]
Posted by zgator (Member # 3833) on :
The fact that your daughter wants a bar raises a red flag with me.
Maybe we're thinking about different types of bars.
Posted by Belle (Member # 2314) on :
*snort*
Thanks zgator.
Well, I didn't need to call her. She called us when Mrs. P sent her the letter I wrote. Only, because I've gotten a new cell phone and haven't updated the records at the school yet (bad me) they got Wes instead of me. Which is probably a good thing, because he's wonderful at dealing with things without getting emotional.
Everything is fine. The first visit was random sampling, like we first thought. The second visit wasn't a visit at all, Emily was "messenger of the day" and took a note to Mrs. B, the counselor from Mrs. P, her teacher.
Mrs. B simply asked her how she was doing, and Em volunteered the being nervous about show-off day and Mrs. B says she told her she was sure she'd be fine, just try to relax.
She apologized for upsetting us, and said that part of her job is to meet one on one with each child in either the 1st or 2nd grade, get some basic background information and that way they know who she is and know they can turn to her if they need something. Emily's number just came up - being a W last name she was toward the end of the year. The teacher's are told to make a big deal about sending someone to the counselor's office, so that there is no stigma attached when someone really DOES need to be sent there. Thus the whole hoopla about it's Emily's turn to be "special."
She assured my husband there were no problems with Em that had been reported to her by Mrs. P and said Mrs. P was writing us back to assure us of that as well.
She repeated the questions she asked Em and said they were all standard, she asked them of everybody, and she kept a short file of the answers - things like the three wishes and what's your favorite color, etc. That way if the kids are ever sent to her with a problem, she can use some of that information to help the child feel like she knows them and are interested in them. She said of Emily "For example, I'd start off by asking Emily how gymnastics is going, to set her at ease."
She apologized for causing us any anxiety, and said that in her letter she sends home at the beginning of the year she says she wants to get to know each family and child and this is one way she does that. Wes told her maybe next year be more explicit in the letters going home to parents of first and second graders, i.e., put something like "I'll be meeting with your kids one on one sometime this school year" and told her, in his own honest forthright way (where do you think Em gets it?) that is this day and age it's easy to get nervous when you hear some specialist is talking to your kid without your okay. She said she understood and again apologized for us getting worried.
So, I feel better. The only thing up in the air is Em saying she didn't "pay attention in class" the counselor says that didn't come up at all. But with seven year olds, sometimes things get jumbled in their heads - it could be right before she was sent to the counselor Mrs. P told her to pay better attention, and she associated the two together when they didn't need to be.
Posted by rivka (Member # 4859) on :
Posted by Anna (Member # 2582) on :
I'm glad everything is OK, Belle.
Posted by no. 6 (Member # 7753) on :
quote: Topic: Is there a good way to give teacher feedback?
Step one: Procure a microphone and a practice amp. Step two: Place microphone in front of amp. Step three: Turn amp up "to eleven". Step four: Turn amp on.
If feedback doesn't come squealing out immediatly, then clap next to the mike. That'll get things going.
(Cheeze, all these complicated explainations for such a simple process!) Posted by Megan (Member # 5290) on :
Belle: I'm glad everything's alright!
*hugs*
Posted by Elizabeth (Member # 5218) on :
Yay! I agree with Wes, that she should be more clear in the beginning of the year letter.
Posted by whiskysunrise (Member # 6819) on :
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
He now gets his packet regardless, and other methods are used to deal with misbehavior.)![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Mad]](mad.gif)
Stinkin' trouble makers.
![[Angst]](graemlins/angst.gif)
![[Group Hug]](graemlins/grouphug.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
). Not only did the person from Social Services walk in my door saying the report didn't make sense (scrapes consistent with a fall) as abuse, he walked out (after speaking to each of my kids) saying that if the school pulled anything like that again, I was protected by having this disproven incident already recorded.![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)